Resolutions, goals and Being Prepared

Have you ever felt like time was passing by so quickly, you struggle to keep up? I feel like I'm back where I was a year ago. Trying not to stress, preparing and realizing time is growing shorter until my husband will be deploying again.

This time feels a little different though.

I feel like we are still adjusting to all the changes from his previous deployment. He was gone for 6 months, but during that time we purchased a house, we moved, purchased a new car.. etc. I feel like we're still working on a new routine with his work schedule. I was so use to his TAD schedule before last deployment that I'm honestly not use to seeing my husband home as much as he has been. It's nice having him home- but sometimes I miss his crazy schedule. My house stayed clean then! But I'll take him home over my clean house any day.

We got use to spending roughly 1 day a week together before deployment. Now, after deployment, we have every day with the exception of a duty day every week. We were in a routine of spending every minute with each other when he was home, and now because we went from having about 1 day to every day, sometimes we feel like we are smothering each other. I guess sometimes its part of it. It's the whole adjusting to only readjust thing. It's a never ending cycle.

Now, we are creeping up on deployment number 2. I guess you could say more than creeping. I look at how many days my husband will be home between now and deployment, with the ship now in full swing with their underway training, and we are back to having limited time left to spend with each other. It puts things back into reality for me, focus on each other but remember to keep stress and emotions in check. Stress- we're working on that. We have a lot to do before this next deployment and I feel as if I've waited until last minute, but I still have a lot of time. It's crazy.

I'm already trying to gather my "Deployment goal" list. Kind of like setting tons of resolutions for the New Year, but for me- it's for deployment. Full of projects, work out goals, weight goals, decorating projects, FRG commitments, etc.

Again with this deployment, I'm probably going to make my to-do list so long and be disappointed in the end because I ran out of time. I do that. I sometimes put too much on my plate and then get so incredibly mad at myself for not succeeding. I think I do this because I do accomplish a lot when under pressure or stressed. I do my best when I'm constantly busy. I think I also do this to myself because I don't want to run out of things to do. I want and I like keeping busy because the time flies so fast, and before I know it, I'm picking up my husband. I refuse to be miserable and I focus on things I want to do, things I want to accomplish. When my husband is gone, it's the perfect time because when he's home- my focus is on him. I sometimes forget what I want, and forget to focus any time on myself (maybe that'll actually be a New Years resolution!).

What are your New Years or Deployment resolutions?

Milspouse Holiday Blog Swap

Riding the Roller Coaster has done it again. She has set up another wonderful Mili. Spouse blog swap. I'm so excited to be apart of another of her wonderful swaps she has put together. That woman is awesome. Just sayin'. I mean, Who else could organize 27 amazing bloggers/ mili spouses plus myself for an awesome blog swap for a day?

Be sure to head over to Roller Coaster's blog to check out the other amazing bloggers!

If you're looking for my post, be sure to check out My Marine and Me for My Post about Christmas since being a Navy wife!

I'm am extremely happy to have Wife Of a Sailor taking over my blog today! She's totally awesome. You know how their some wives that wear their husband's rank? Well, Wife of a Sailor wears her own! Yes, that's right. She is an Officer in the Navy Reserves. Her husband is an enlisted Sailor. Which mean, He has to salute to her! ;D

Although, she says he's evaded that for two and a half years. Boo, but that's ok.. We all know she'll get him. Be sure to check her out at www.wifeofasailor.com!

Here's her post. I hop you enjoy it as much as I do.

When most people think of Christmas, they think of the spirit of the holiday season and spending it with the ones they love the most. Those of us in the military world, however, routinely don’t have our loved ones near… whether it is a spouse that is deployed or family members that live far away thanks to the military lifestyle. We have to plan our holidays and special events around deployments, duty nights, TDYs and all other sorts of things the military likes to throw around. Christmas may be celebrated months before or after December 25th. And that’s normal for us.

Personally, this will be our third Christmas since we’ve been married. Yet, it will be the first that we’ve ever spent together. Actually, this past 4th of July and Thanksgiving were our first two holidays together since we’ve been married, period. ‘Tis the way of the military.

I’m incredibly excited about spending our first one together. Christmas can be celebrated on Christmas (okay, well, at least within a day or so of it depending on if he has duty on Christmas Eve/Christmas). I can get excited with all the other people gearing up for the season. But I also realize there are many who aren’t going to spend it with their spouse. And my heart aches for them.
But you know what? I think that it is a blessing that we don’t always have them with us. I truly believe those of us who are part of the military family have an advantage over most civilians. We know how precious the “spending the season with your family” is. It’s not about the presents or the lights or the cookies (mmmm… cookies!), and we realize how wonderful it is to spend time with our family.

I’m not saying civilians DON’T know this or don’t get it… rather, I’m saying that we truly treasure the time we have with those we love (when they actually are with us). Because we know that next year, they might not be there. They might be working to make the world a safer place in some far off place or, in our case, 20,000 leagues under the sea.

So this year, I will treasure every minute. I will enjoy the season as it’s meant to be. Because sometime in the not-so-distant future, I’ll need to look back upon the memories I make this year so that I can make it through a lonely Christmas without Huzzy that will undoubtablly happen once again in the future.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, everyone. If you don’t have your spouse/significant other/family with you this year, make each moment one to remember. If you don’t have them with you, hold on because you aren’t alone and we’ve all been there. You’ll get him/her soon and can make your memories then.

Truth

Yesterday, a young man from my hometown took his own life. Now, people are trying to find someone to blame. Of course, they blame the school system.

I didn't really know him, but I knew who he was. He use to come in the place I worked, before moving to Virginia, nearly every day.

He was bullied. It's sad, but it happens. It happens to a lot of us- Bullying doesn't target a specific gender, sexual preference, race, etc. Anyone can be bullied. I was bullied some growing up, and I know many others who were as well.

For more than a week, you could see on this kid's facebook that he was reaching out. Continually talked about ending his life. Who stood up and said something? Who asked for help for this young man? No one. I'm not apart of his facebook page. After hearing about his death, I went to his page. I read his posts where for days straight he hinted to taking his life. And a post from a week ago again. People want to blame the school system for doing nothing but giving the bullies a slap on the wrist, but no one, including his friends, stood up to say "He needs help".

I'm going to get a bit more personal here- and I may totally regret this, especially if my family reads this, but I think it's time to stand up and say something. I use to have suicidal thoughts. Alot. Until this day, noone has really known that. Twice I actually tried- again, only maybe 2 people even know of one of those instances.

When I was 14, I took nearly 20-25 Tylenol at one time. Being 14, I thought it would do it. I felt trapped, I felt alone and I felt empty. Killing myself was the easy way out for me. I took the pills and went to school. I started throwing up at school and ended up at Vanderbilt hospital. I must have thrown up all the medicine, the doctors said they didn't know what was wrong with me and ruled it a small stomach bug. I don't think a single person knows about that. All anyone knew is that I had a really bad headache and took more Tylenol then I should have and the headaches could have made me sick. I was known for having headaches so bad that I would get sick often, so it was believable.
When I was 16, I actually cut my wrist. I was at a point in my life where I was confused all the time, and again, I felt alone. I felt as if noone would notice if I was gone. I didn't cut deep at all, but when I saw the blood, I asked myself, "What is wrong with you?!". I didn't want to be this person. I hid the scabbed up cut from everyone. Wore long sleeves, or covered it with a watch. My mom saw it one day as I was helping to cook something and grabbed my arm and asked what it was. At this point, it had healed that it sort of looked like a burn. I went with it. I told my mom that I was reaching across a pot and skimmed the side of a hot metal pan. Some how, it was believeable and she didn't question me.
Why didn't I tell anyone? I was embarrassed.

I'm saying this because maybe, there's someone out there who feels trapped and just wants to give up. I want them to know that you're not the only one who deals with things that make you feel like noone in the world can understand. There are people who do care and do understand. You just have to talk to someone. Find a way to let it out- other than cutting yourself or trying to commit suicide. There are better options. Yes, It will be hard. But life is full of challenges. Hard times always come and go. Don't take the easiest route out of it all and take your own life. Every single person in this world has the potential to grow up and be great at something.

As far as bullying goes, It's tough. I like to look at it this way. They are jealous of you- or one person starts something and their posse just follows. Sometimes, they are in the same shoes. The may be bullied at home, or they are being bullied to bully you- pure pressure.

People need to start standing up for themselves. Friends need to speak up when needed. Parents need to listen when a child has something to say and teachers need to speak up if bullying is noticed or unusual behavior is seen at school.

Bands For Arms- GIVEAWAY!

Thanksgiving is nearing and Christmas is quickly approaching. It's the time of year we all get so busy we may forget about those who are not able to be with their families this year. It's the time of year wear we tend to focus on gift giving and big dinners.

Today, I'm posting a Giveaway for The Pearl Harbor Bracelet from Bands for Arms, A company who never forgets and always gives back.

"Welcome to Bands for Arms, whose mission is primarily focused towards all United States Military Services Members. Bands For Arms will donate a percentage of the sale price supporting military non-profit organizations, to help raise funds to continue a bridge of communication with their loved ones. Communication with Sailor, Airmen, Coast Guard, Marine or Soldier with their loved ones back home, is the primary goal and mission of Bands For Arms.

Every Bands For Arms bracelet is hand crafted in it's own creation, so none are identical or made the same, making each one unique and personal.
Each personal Bands For Arms bracelet has a uniform piece from a service member, incorporated within the bracelet.
With each Bands For Arms bracelet, you will receive a small description of the service member who provided their piece towards the bracelet. " ~Bands for Arms

Recently, I ordered The Pearl Harbor bracelet in memory of my Great Grandfather who recently passed away. Pop was a WWII veteran.

When I received the bracelet, I loved it more in person than I did from the pictures, which says a lot because I instantly fell in love with it upon seeing the picture. I wear it all the time!

The owner of Bands for Arms encountered a house fire. Causing him to loose many of his logs, documents, bracelets and uniforms. Because he had no record of the bracelet being shipped, another was sent to me. I emailed to notify them I had already received my bracelet, and Nick said using it for a giveaway for my blog fans would be great!

So, here we are! YOU get the chance to wear this AWESOME bracelet. Seriously, it's awesome.

The Bracelet:

http://ourb4astore.com/index.html

Here are 7 ways to enter

*You can do one, or all 7

PLEASE LEAVE A SEPARATE COMMENT PER ENTRY

**if you put your entries into one comment, it will count as one entry, so be sure to put them in different comments!

1. Go to the B4A store (clicky) and tell me which is your favorite bracelet!

2. "Like" me on Facebook: http://facebook.com/thejourneyofanavywife

3. Follow me on Twitter: http://twitter.com/#!/NavyWifeLife

4. Share my Facebook post (on my fan page) on your personal page. Post:https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=293439320688162&set=a.206864576012304.55076.154244167941012&type=1

5. Tweet about this giveaway, linking this post as well as tagging me @navywifelife

6. "like" the Bands for Arms Facebook fan page: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Bands-For-Arms/316613052975 (Tell them @The Journey of a Navy Wife sent you!)

7. Blog about this giveaway, and tell me why you like bands for arms! Be sure to put a link to this post in your blog post! (link your post in a comment)

 ***Please leave a contact email if you wish to be notified by email if you win. If you do not leave a contact email, you will have to check back on the blog to see if you are the winner!

The giveaway will end on Wednesday, November 30 at Noon EST.

I will announce the winner shortly after the giveaway ends! :)

Ready. Set. GO!

One Year ago today

Sunday, November 21, 2010: One Year ago today, my husband was robbed at gunpoint.
{Refer back a year ago to my post NCIS On The Real}

It is crazy to me to think about the time of which has passed. It still seems like a dream and it still seems as if it had recently happened. I'm sure I probably think about it more than my husband, and he was the one who was robbed.

In this crazy world, there was one place I saw as "safe" and that was the base. Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine two men would approach my husband with a shotgun, point it at him and force him to the ground. "Not on base, that's just not possible". But it is possible. And it wasn't the first time something similar had happened on base.

Even now, I find that my husband is still uneasy. He's more aware of his surroundings. The rifle stays loaded by our bed, ADT was installed in our house, he parks under street lights or in the sights of other people. That day those two men made off with more than $500, but more than that.. they took our security.

For several weeks, NCIS would question my husband about the men and that morning. They questioned me, they questioned Sailor's on different ships. Eventually, they stopped calling, and they stopped giving us updates.  To this day, as far as my husband and I know, those two men were never arrested, nor charged. We don't have the slightest clue who the men could be.

It seems the leads NCIS had couldn't take them anywhere. Too many things happened that day for the robbery to not have been a planned event. First things, one of the gate security cameras- the gate my husband would use every day, cut off just before my husband's typical time of going through it, and back on some time later that morning. Base police did not lock down the parking lot where the Robbery had taken place nor did they put the base on lock down- if they had, the guys would have been caught because they were hitting up the ATM in the parking lot attached to the parking lot of which my husband was robbed. The camera issues as well as Base police not doing locking down base, was suspicious to the NCIS agents. Base police didn't do their job.

NCIS was frustrated with how poorly base police responded, as were my husband and myself.

The guys were smart to cover their faces for the ATM cameras, however, they left their arms exposed. One of the guys had a couple tattoos, but they didn't lead NCIS anywhere.

After they hit up the ATM on base, they made 2 more attempts that day to withdraw money. Again the next day, they tried again. But there was always an issue it seemed. One of the bank's cameras was not working properly and the other, they were having issues getting the tapes from them. That's as far as we heard about anything there.

NCIS told us they wouldn't give up and that my husband's case was one of 7 or 8 cases (at the time) that year sent to the Pentagon. That gave us reason to believe the bastards would be caught. I wish they had kept in contact, I wish we had called them more often to see if there was any more leads.

The robbery had a huge impact on my husband. People would pick on him for it- trying to make light of it all. He would do the same, but on the inside, it ate at him. It became a struggle for us, he didn't know how to handle his emotions and would cause him to anger easily. It took the last underway before he left for deployment for him to see the affect it really had on him and us. He was suffering for PTSD, and was blind to it- as most are. PTSD is always associated with deployment, with war.. but there are so many other things that can lead to it. The robbery being my husband's. When he realized what was happening to him, he got help. He sought out guidance from one of the ship's chaplains.

The speculations of what happened or what didn't happen were crazy. I have no idea how people can come up with such crazy rumors. I've heard that my husband made it up. Some said my husband was robbed for a GPS (we don't own a GPS aside from navigation on our phones). I had people messaging, calling and telling me "sorry for your loss", thinking my husband was dead. People thought my husband was shot... etc. It was pure chaos. 

Truth is, My husband was reaching in his car for his Parka. He heard the cock of a shot gun and then, "Get on the ground!". He honestly thought it was one of his buddies pulling a prank on him. He turned around to a shotgun at his face. They forced him to the ground and took his debit card from his wallet. They demanded the pin, and when you have a shotgun to your head, you don't have time to think of a wrong pin. The gunmen then ran off, my husband jumped in his car and pulled in officer's parking by the pier and called base police, then called me to cancel his card, but they had already took the money by that time.

I'm thankful we are able to move forward from a year ago. I'm thankful for the support we received from many people after that day. My blog fans, our friends, and surrounding ship's Sailors. Even in such a upsetting situation, there's always a positive ending- Life, love and friendship.

She’s got a baby inside And holds her belly tight

The title is quoted from Colbie Caillat's song "Capri". I've heard the song a million times shuffled on my iPod and I have never paid a bit of attention to the lyrics. Last night while Insomnia was raging, I was listening to music while uploading galleries to my website. "Capri" came on and for the first time, I payed attention to what she was singing.

The Lyrics,

"She’s got a baby inside And holds her belly tight All through the night Just so she knows She’s sleeping so Safely to keep Her growing And oh when she'll open her eyes There'll be no surprise That she'll grow to be So beautifully" 

circled in my head.

Lately, I've been battling my husband's baby fever- and well, my own. If you've been reading my blog for a while, then you know I've faced miscarriages more than once.

Over the weekend, I heard my husband talking on the phone about our baby issues. It hit me how much he wants to be a daddy. On top of that, I realized how much it affects him- he feels like it's his fault.
My husband isn't one to show emotion, it's hard for him to acknowledge when something bothers him. Give him a couple shots of Vodka, and he starts talking. I think he might have been on the phone with his parents, pretty sure he was. He was talking about how he doesn't know what's wrong and how he wonders if it's his fault.

I know it's not his fault. We know we can get pregnant, just my body has rejected the baby every time. Because of this, and the upcoming deployment, I'm not willing to try again right now. I'm too scared. I'm scared to potentially face the same thing again, a miscarriage. I'm scared to have a baby during deployment, honestly it's not even the part of being during deployment.. it just scares me. I worry, because of the issues, that something would be wrong with the baby.

Right now, It's killing me. Knowing how much my husband wants a baby- and feeling like my body is broken. It's been over a year since my last miscarriage- but it's something you never forget.

I know it will happen when it happens. I don't want to hear, "Maybe now isn't the right time.". You just don't say that to someone who has miscarried. I know you mean the best- but it doesn't make one who has been through it feel the best. Not even close.

Past Blog- I Miss You More

During deployment, I guest blogged for Confessions of a Sailor's Wife I eventually wanted to host the post on my blog as well and never did. So, here's finally putting it up. You may see me referring back to many posts here until Christmas. Crazy as it may sound, my own blog is inspiring more posts. I guess that would be a good thing, right?

Source: funstuffcafe.com via Alyn on Pinterest

"I miss you more!" is a common phrase between my husband and myself. But tonight, I sit here and ponder that thought- the ability to "miss someone more". Is it possible?
Lately, I have wondered about it. And the more I think about it.. the more I really think about the saying "Missing someone is missing someone". What exactly qualifies a person to miss the other more?
I have been told by many that I don't miss my husband as much as they do theirs. Why? Because I handle deployment differently. Deployment isn't hard for me. Maybe I will face a challenge during this time- Like having to get the car fixed on my own.. But is that what makes deployment hard? Deployment didn't do anything to me or my car.. Deployment is the distance between me and my loved one. Deployment is a choice my husband made when he enlisted. So, of course I don't hold any hostility toward deployment, and I don't find the distance hard. Distance is a challenge and I like challenges- So, Is that saying I like deployment? Maaaaybe.
I like having to communicate differently with my husband. I LOVE emails. I love sending care packages and I LOVE not getting phone calls often so when I do.. I'm First kiss excited. Deployment isn't hard, Deployment is a new relationship with my husband.
Because I don't find deployment hard, and because I handle deployment very well, does that mean I don't miss my husband? No. It does not mean I don't miss my husband. I miss my husband more than anything. Does it mean I miss them any less, No! Just means I handle deployment and separation due to deployment far differently.
When my husband and I were separated for boot camp and a-school (9 months total), I missed my husband. I didn't miss him more at the end of it than I did in the beginning. The thing that changed was I grew more anxious to be with him. I missed him all the same. This deployment will be the same. Over a month into this deployment.. my "missing him" is no different. I just miss him.
Maybe when someone says they "Miss you more" it's "I miss more things about you". This I can see being true. As time passes, I find more things I "Miss" about my husband. Week 1 & 2.. I DIDN'T miss picking up his socks from the floor. More than a month- I wouldn't mind seeing his dirty, smelly socks everywhere.
I think "I miss you more" is more of a term of endearment. To show how you care for the other. It's like "I love you more". Really and truly.. who can be the judge on who loves who more and who misses who more?
I think it's just another competition. Whether we want to believe it or not, we are always competing... with ourselves, with our Significant others and others in similar situations as us. In the end, it's all the same. We miss each other the same- how you deal with it is the difference.

M.I.A

I disabled my blog for several days. I'm not sure why I did it..

I think I needed to step away from the blogging world, even though I rarely blog anymore. Why do I blog? I use to like blogging, now it's only a means for a select few to attack me. It's annoying and childish. I can't tell you when the last time I read my comments to blog posts. If I saw a familiar name pop up- I'd read it. I dunno how many comments I've left unread. That's not like me. I use to respond to everyone.

I decided to open my blog back up because there are those who DO find support in my blogging. I know this because I've received so many messages, emails, etc the past few days from people asking for access back to my blog.

I opened my blog back for you. You as in those people who have actually noticed and taken interest as to why it was shut down- noone could see it but me. I opened it back up for me- because this is MY blog and I shouldn't let grown women who behave like 13 year olds get under my skin. But unlike them, I have a heart and I have feelings. Occasionally, the pettiness of these women do get to me.

I need to find the old blogger in me. The one who liked blogging and reading other's blogs. I honestly cannot tell you when the last time I actually read someone's blog! I use to read blogs regularly.

When it comes to the military.. what is there to write about that I haven't already written about? It seems a bit repetitive. I think.. I need to step out of my box and start finding new things to blog about, new things to help people with. I do like helping people, I always have.

I know that in the process of getting back to that old blogger I once was, I will deal with the same petty childish behavior I have been facing for the past year on my blog. There are people who have always looked down on me and labeled me a "know it all" and not meaning it in good terms. There will always be those people. Eventually, you throw in the towel... now, I'm picking up the boxing gloves. I'm not going to let these  depressed, unhappy girls bring me down because I am truly happy with where I am in my life. I AM HAPPY being a 24 year old married WOMAN whose husband just so happens to be a Sailor.

Source: Uploaded by user via Christina on Pinterest

I am happy being me. And for those who have issue with me, or don't like me. Well Poo on you. You're missing out because I do have a heart. I do care and I can be one of the best friend's that anyone could possibly have.

I catch hell because my best quality is also my worst quality- depending on how you look at it. I am a very honest person. I hold nothing back and I will hold my heart out on my sleeve. One thing I can't stand is a liar and I won't lie to anyone. Being honest makes me opinionated- so be it. I'm glad I have an opinion- and I honestly don't care if what I think doesn't go with the popular vote. It's mine and it doesn't have to agree with any or every other person's thoughts or their facts.

It may be some time before I open my blog fan page back up- but for now, we're going to work on the blog. I'm going to start reading again. I think I'm going to go back and maybe even read my own blog. Who knows. I knew I've had a lot of followers for some time, but I never knew how many supporters I had until I shut down this blog.

Thank you to those supporters.

Obession

I'm hoping I'm not the only one with this problem, this is why I have decided to write about this.

This is for those of you who blog, those of you who have a larger reader base.

It has recently been brought to my attention that a reader of mine has, I guess, got so caught up in my blog, and feels as if we are friends in "real" life.

Not saying that I'm not friends with my readers, however, I'm completely unsure how to go about wording it.

I'm talking about someone who gets so caught up in your blog, they feel like they KNOW you, not just you but your husband, your relationship, your life, etc.

Yes, I do blog about some personal things, however, I make a point to leave a lot of personal stuff out- especially when it comes to my husband.

When someone, of which I don't know- never seen nor talked to in real life or the virtual world, starts talking about my relationship with my husband, Referring to my husband by first name (which I haven't even done in my blog in over a year), and seemingly facebook stalking me.. it gets kind of creepy.

There's a point where it's flattering, however, The way this person was talking about me, my blog, my relationship AND my husband without me not knowing the girl- AT ALL- is just a little too much.

Just really makes me think a lot. I told my husband about everything, and he was pretty weirded out by it all as well.

How do you deal with it? Do you just ignore it as if it's nothing?

I love that so many find support in what I say, or find understanding in my many rants.. But PLEASE, don't make our virtual relationship creepy! I would hate to have to make my blog private because of this.

My husband wanted me out of Tennessee because I had a stalker (seriously). I really don't want similar issues here in Virginia.

I Miss My Clean House!

The husband has been home for almost 3 months, and I have yet to see what our new place looks like clean. It's depressing!

I always knew my husband was a mess, but I could keep up with him- now, I feel like I'm turning into a slob too! And of course, mess comes with having a couple guys from the ship staying here as well. You'd think some messy college kids live here!

Looking at our coffee table, I'm for sure to blame for the mess there. More than 90% of the coffee table is covered, and the only think I see on it that IS NOT mine, is my husband's xbox controller. How sad is that? Yeah, pretty sad.

Our carpet already has a couple stains, Laundry is everywhere and there are dishes in the sink.

I'm wondering how I ever kept up with everything. Oh, that's right.. I didn't have a job! I made housework a full time job. Now, my photography business is keeping me very busy, as well as TShirt designing.

There are 4 people in this house that love to eat. There is ALWAYS a dirty dish somewhere.

I know, I know.. You're thinking, "Just wait until you have kids!". Well, when we have a baby, I'm pretty sure there won't be any roommates living here. I think it will even out. I'm constantly tripping over things they throw in the floor, xbox games everywhere.. gaming system controllers. I'm always picking up some sort of bottle, whether it's a coke bottle, some other bottle or the occasional beer bottle.

PLUS, we have 3 animals. Roo, who is my obnoxious 46lb Pitty, Musket, a 17lb cat that thinks he's a pit bull, and Converse, my kitten who is only about 3lbs, but the most obnoxious animal I've ever seen. They can be messy too! There is no "Can Be" to that, they ARE messy. Converse think's he's an acrobat, anything he can jump on, climb or swing on- he's tried, usually resorting in a mess. Roo, well.. she just doesn't realize how big she is and will knock things over, or she'll get the "Zoomies"..  that just sounds like hell, so you can only imagine what it's like with her! Musket.. he's actually the calmer of the 3. However, he gets the "Zoomies" too, and sometimes I think he thinks he can fly when he has them, resulting in a mess everywhere.

Is it bad that I want a day with no work, and no animals or men in this house? MAYBE then I would see this place clean, for once.

Well, now it's time to put some laundry in, wash some dishes and get to editing some images for a client.

Lucky in Love With My Best Friend

Where does the time go? It seems as if the past 3 years have flown by. It seems like my husband and I just said our wedding vows, but here we are. We are celebrating our third wedding anniversary together.

I guess it's true what is always said, "Time flies when you're having fun!".

I am having fun.

I couldn't imagine the past 3 years being any better, Even the days where things might have been hard for us, where we were challenged.. It couldn't be any better. Those hard times and the challenges, helped our relationship grow. You don't think there's more you can learn about someone when you've been with them a while.. even living with him before we were married. Marriage taught us so much about each other. Brought us even closer. He truly is my best friend. I know I have said he's my best friend a million times in blogs in the past, but it is true. My husband IS my best friend. I'm sure this blog post won't  be the last you hear me say that.

I can't wait to write about the 5 year mark, for us to get to the 10 year.. and the years and years to come.

I look at my grandparents, who just celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary on Sunday, and I think, "I want to be like them".
I'm sure they've had their hard times.. I'm sure of it, they had 4 children, Had to be some hard times.. Looking at Nanny and Grandpa now, you would think marriage was easy. I want that to be me and my husband. When our grandchildren see us, when we celebrate our 50 years together, I want them to see the same thing in us as I do my grandparents.

I know it is probably bad to compare your relationship to another, but I see what others say about their husband or I see how their relationship pans out, I can't help but think how lucky I am, how awesome my relationship is. Three years of being married, and honestly.. I still feel like a newlywed. Feeling like a newlywed may have something to do with him only being home from deployment for 2 months. But at the same time.. I can't recall a time in 3 years where I didn't still feel like a newlywed.

I feel like the luckiest girl in the world. And this is where he would say, "It's not luck if it's meant to be.".

Guest Post-Military Veterans Can Take Advantage of Their Benefits with a Veteran Home Loan

I was recently contacted by Jessica for a guest post on VA Loans. As most of you know, my husband I recently purchased a home. We used a Veteran home Loan, also known as a VA Loan. If it weren't for the VA Loan, we wouldn't have considered buying any time soon. If you or your spouse has served, and you are considering buying a home, Consider the VA Loan! 

Military Veterans Can Take Advantage of Their Benefits with a Veteran Home Loan

Right now is a fantastic time to buy a new home.  Prices are low, lending rates are even lower, and many people have had their homes up for sale for a long time with no interest, and they are willing to make a deal.  Needless to say, it’s a buyer’s market.  In addition to prime market conditions, there is even better news for veterans of the US Armed Forces; if you are an honorably discharged member of any branch of the Armed Forces, you may qualify for a US Veteran Home Loan.  The benefits of these home loans are quite expansive and could help you and your family pay for the home of your dreams.

Because of their service and sacrifice for our country, honorably discharged members of the Armed Forces are entitled to certain benefits as part of their compensation package.  One of the greatest benefits that they can receive is the home loan benefit.  The government has provided guaranteed home loans for members of the armed forces that carry certain incentives that you can’t get if you aren’t a member of the military.

A VA Loan is a special loan that is guaranteed and insured by the government and can be issued by a specially licensed lender.  There is no required down payment for a VA loan.  Although there is a funding fee of up to 3.15% of the total loan amount borrowed, this amount can be financed and paid off over the life of the loan.  In addition, up to 103.15% financing is available, meaning that qualified buyers are able to borrow more than the amount needed to purchase the house.  This extra money can be used to make home improvements or changes to the home.  An additional $6,000 can also be borrowed as long as it is used for energy efficiency improvements.  Veterans who already own a home are able to get 20% funding for a second mortgage.

The VA allows veterans to qualify for and receive loans that are larger than they would normally be able to receive if they financed with a traditional lender.  The maximum loan amount available depends on the location of the home being purchased, and the amount varies by county.  The maximum amount available with no down payment is $417,000, although in certain “high cost” areas funding up to $1,094,625 is available.  Finally, if there are any closing costs associated with the home sale, the VA requires that the seller pay these, providing that the total cost does not exceed 6% of the total home purchase price.  This will save the homebuyer even more money.  VA home loans also generally carry significantly lower interest rates than traditional mortgages, sometimes up to 1.5% lower, saving the buyer thousands of dollars over the life of their loan.

The benefits of a VA home loan are expansive.  It is in the best interest of all qualified veterans to look into buying a house with their VA benefits.  The combination of prime market conditions, low rates and huge money saving benefits all mean that there is money to be saved on the purchase of a home.  If you are a US Armed Forces veteran, look into a VA home loan.

Guest post by Jessica Gingham at MilitaryVALoan.com

Ready for Round Two?

Last night was the first FRG meeting since deployment's end. It was nice to see the familiar faces of the past 6 months. 

We were introduced to the Ship's new Captain, who gave insight to the coming months, leading up to Deployment number 2, also the USS Enterprise's final mission. 

Deployment is set for this Spring. There are still people speculating as to IF the ship will go out- but it will happen. Some are just in denial. Although there are several months between now and D-Day, looking at the schedule of things to come.. What time is there? It's already time to start preparing.

Mentally, I feel I am prepared. I know it's coming- again. I know that preparing was the hardest to do with last deployment. Thankfully, in preparation for this deployment, I will have my husband a little more than the last. He is no longer TAD. 

I'm hoping things in the physical aspect will be more prepared. With my husband's previous schedule, and a time crunch- I was left to do a lot of what should have been done before deployment, during deployment.. and somethings that should have been done, didn't get done at all. Note to self: make him fix the Monte Carlo BEFORE he leaves, or it will sit there for 7+ months until he returns! 

Things I hope will be different this deployment: I'm hoping for NO irregular vet trips. All 3 of our Furbabies had Vet visits this deployment. That was $1,000+ in six months.

I'm hoping they figure out whatever is wrong with me medically before deployment. Having so many doctor appointments last deployment was no fun. 

This coming deployment, I plan to stay busy- just as I did the last. Maybe not completely as busy... I won't be buying a house without him home. I plan to volunteer more time with the FRG. I was pretty involved past deployment, but I'll step up more.

I plan to do A LOT  of home projects. Easier without my husband here because I get to pick everything (he's in his lazy stage right now, and if he can cut corners, he will.. I like taking my time to make things look nice!).

Between now and deployment, I will focus on my relationship as I did previously. I'm going to start preparing things Now, so that we don't "run out of time". Staring a "Deployment List" and checking things off one by one.

The Journey Continues! 

I Can't Wait to Have a Normal Life

Today, I go to thinking about Life after my husband is no longer an active duty service member. When the subject comes up- I always hear others say, "I can't wait to have a normal life again.". A "normal life" is what they look forward to.

Military life, to me, has become my normal. I'm use to this, I'm comfortable with it. I think about what it would be like when he's no longer in the military.. and I honestly don't know what it would be like. The change and adjustments.. I don't look forward to that. Yes, I would like my husband home more. I would love for him to not miss birthdays, holidays, etc. But I would miss all the benefits we have.

Is my husband getting out of the military? Who really knows.. We've talked about it time and time again. Like with any job, he has his good and his bad days. He, like a lot of people, has his, "I hate my job" days. I believe he's a lifer. We still have 3 years on this enlistment (he did an extended enlistment) and then he will enlist for shore duty (2 years). We have some time to talk and think about it. But honestly.. sometimes his uncertainty scares me. I like the security of knowing there's a plan.

He left for bootcamp just a month after we married. Exactly a month. So, Military is the life we've learned together. I really think he will retire from the Navy, but like today, I think about what it he doesn't?

How hard will it be to adjust? I guess it's another one of those things.. every person is different. I love military life, some hate it.

I guess, eventually, that will be another Journey. Really, this blog post should come in a couple years when I have, hopefully, more certainty of what's going on.

Back to Normal?

The husband has been home over a month now. I assumed we would be on some sort of "Normal" scheduled by now... but that's hardly the case.

I can't say I know what's "normal" anymore!

This whole deployment I have said I can't wait to  have a normal schedule with him when deployment is over. Before deployment, he was working a CRAZY schedule. We hardly spent any time together the year leading up to deployment.

I guess his crazy schedule became our "Normal".

Now that deployment is over, we are adjusting to the many changes from the past 6 months. We're moved into our new house, and now.. we're constantly trying to put our own touches on it.. as well as trying to find time to finish unpacking! We bought a new car. Now, even the bill schedule is thrown off because I had to add a new bill in that we didn't have before. Here lately, there's no planning anything. It's all been last minute- "Hey, let's go do 'this'". Which is all in good fun, I would just like SOMETHING to be planned. I NEED some sort of Organization in my life right now!

Is it bad that the only organized thing around me right now is my Pinterest account?
Don't answer that.

My husband's work schedule isn't steady. It's a day to day thing- which doesn't bother me.. It's nice just having him home.

Honestly, the lack of organization right now is stressing me out a bit. The Husband knows it too. Thankfully, he's awesome and has a huge help with everything [at times]. I admit. My husband is a bit of a slob... a BIG slob. But occasionally, he'll clean the kitchen, or pick up the living room... or he'll cook dinner.

When there's so much going on, or every day seems so busy with no break.. I get burnt out. I'm exhausted. I need a day to sit on my Booty and drink a cup of coffee while watching Golden Girls.

This week has been pretty stressful. Lots of running and getting things done, late night emergency vet Trip because Roo bit Converse (my poor kitten now has a broke nose), earthquake yesterday- which I admit wasn't scary too much... just a bit shocking, Kid Rock concert and today.. I'm just wore out.



Not to mention the doctor appointments I've had recently.

I'm so tired. I slept all day today, and I am still exhausted, but there is not sleep in sight. Insomnia.

I'm getting up early tomorrow to pick up the hubby from duty and then we are heading to the command picnic. I'm hoping to squeeze in an afternoon nap.

What is Normal?

Why So Serious?

For more than 2 weeks now, I have been without internet. It has been wonderful (although at times, like when blogging, annoying!)! It makes me realize how much time people, including myself are spending online... especially Facebook.

We're told that Crack is addictive- well, so is Facebook. Even without having access to internet via computer, I still find myself on Facebook (darn smart phones!).

Something I've noticed aside from it being addictive, is people take the internet (*couch*cough* Facebook) entirely way too serious.

Facebook has become too many people's lifeline.. too many people see it as "real life". To me, Facebook is becoming a reality TV Show played out via social networking. And like reality TV shows, not everything you see or read via Facebook is "real". There's fake people, liars, drama, mulitple personalities, etc. It's all on there.

Who needs reality TV or Soaps for amusement from drama when you can just read it every day- at any time?

Some peope take Facebook too serious. If you don't reply to someone's message or comment, then that must mean you're not a "real" friend or it means you're fake.

If you or when you're in need of a friend's help- immediately- did Facebook replace a telephone, cell phone or text? Who decided that if one doesn't see a message or comment from another that by them not replying in time of need make them "fake" or not a true friend? Serious questions.

I find it humorous. I really do.

Facebook is not serious. It's just a way of sharing your life in a different way with those you choose to (the world because not everything is private with Facebook).

Why so serious? Lay off the cra... I mean Facebook. Look at everything you're missing out on by being on Facebook all day.

No time to get in shape you say? GET OFF FACEBOOK. The time it took you to read status updates, or post a status.. or comment, or to login to Facebook.. you could have done a couple crunches.. pushups, etc. Just sayin'.

This whole no having internet thing.. is wonderful. It's proof where so much extra time is spent.

Stick a Fork in me...

I am Done!

I have been going to the doctor several times a month for tests, tests and more tests for almost 5 months. Still no answers as to whats going on. They have ruled out many things, but have no answers.

One doctor told me it may be a small issue that has no known cause and I would just have to learn to deal with it. I say BS. I want this issue pinpointed and gone!

Today, I woke up not feeling well. I sometimes wake up winded and my chest hurting... and sometimes thats a good day. I woke up winded and my chest hurting and feeling extremely congested this morning.

I decided to take a shower and while in the shower, I got lightheaded fell over and busted the top of my nose open. I didn't even realize it was gushing blood or anything. Just sat in the bathtub for a minute to catch my breath and calm down. Then I realized my nose was stinging and touched it and felt a gash at the top of my nose and then saw the blood.

Honestly, the only thing I can remember thinking is "eff my life".

I'm debating as to go to the doctor and get my nose checked out or even see if I might need stitches.. it's a deep gash on my nose. Most of the bleeding has stopped, so that is the only thing stopping me from going, as well as the fact that I probably shouldn't be driving. My husband should be home soon, I'll see what he thinks and make the decision from there.

Now, I'm going to figure out how to make this day better. Right now... I can't say I am having that great of a day.

I guess I should be thankful at least Deployment is over and he'll be coming home to help on my bad days.

Been There, Done That, Got the Tshirt!

As some of you know, my husband is now home. The USS Enterprise is home from their 6 month deployment {cheers!}.

I was going to attempt to blog the day of homecoming-while waiting. Obviously, blogging was the last thing on my mind the day of. Too much excitement. I was nervous, anxious, and shakey from being so excited  (some can be attributed to  forgetting to eat that morning.)!

He flew in 2 days earlier than the ship came in. I never imagined I would be as nervous as I was. Seeing the plane land, my heart started pounding. When I saw them stepping off that plane, no words can describe my excitement and how nervous I was. I wanted to run to the plane, but of course, that wasn't permitted. Seeing him walking toward me, I felt as if we were the only 2 people outside.

All I can remember is being so excited. I also remember thinking about how much weight he looked like he had lost, then back to being completely excited.

When he was close to me, I ran to him. Seeing him smile, then feeling his arms around me, hugging me.. all my questions, fear and nervousness disappeared. Nothing had changed. People say service members come back different, they change. They don't always change. They see things, do things that may have an effect on them, but it doesn't necessarily change them. My husband is the same man I married almost 3 years ago.

Things are great, it's as if the past 6 months were nonexistent.

Just a tip, don't set your expectations too high, don't expect too much from him. You know your loved one better than anyone else. When someone tells you to expect several things, such as change, how they will act, things they will do or will not do.. Take it with a grain of salt. You could be expecting too much, you could be setting yourself up to be disappointed. I believe this is why there are do many fights after homecoming.

Just enjoy your time with them.

Deployment number one down. Been there, done that.. And I didn't need a xxanax


Photo credit by Cocoa Bean Photography
Link to her Facebook fan page: http://www.facebook.com/CocoaBeanPhoto

Twas The Night Before Homecoming...

Tomorrow my husband is flying in. I can't describe all the emotions running through my body at this very moment. I'm anxious, nervous, excited, and even a bit scared.

You can't help but wonder what has changed. Has he changed? Have You changed? You become more independent, you learn to do everything you did with them, alone. Things have changed. You wonder how those changes will make a diference in life after homecoming. Will things just pick up where they left off? Will things be hard? Will things be better than before deployment? Will he like decisions you've made (with me, will he like our house?)? Etc. It can be scary and at the same time, exciting.

And boy am I ever anxious! Seems like tonight's clock is standing still. It's almost nauseating being wide awake, feeling that hours have passed and in reality, less than 30 minutes have went by.

I've never been so excited! Ok, other than my wedding day, I've never been this excited. I feel like a little kid again and i feel like Christmas day is tomorrow. Santa is surely granting my Christmas wish early!

I'm extremely nervous. I feel like I'm preparing for a blind date.. or just a date at that! I am in a "new" relationship again and again with my husband. These butterflies are going wild!

Tomorrow is extra special for us. Not only is my husband coming home, he's coming home 3 years to the date he proposed to me. July 13, 2008 is when he proposed (married September, 27, 2008) to me. July 13, 2011 is when he's coming home to me. That just makes it extra exciting... and even more that he remembered it.

It's the end of the Journey for Deployment number one, now we prepare for being completed again to prepare for deployment number two.

Six months too long, but these two hearts stayed strong.

One Day and a Wake Up!

It is officially homecoming week for the USS Enterprise! Meaning, my husband will be home soon!

The ship will be home Friday. My husband is flying in 2 days early to make room for the Tiger Cruise (he decided to do this because he got pegged for pull-in duty).

So, that means I have ONE day and then I WAKE UP to go pick up my husband!

Who is Kid in a candy store excited? That's right. ME!

The past week has bee extremely stressful for me. I am officially moved into OUR new house. Boxes are everywhere. I still want everything perfect, so.. I'm pretty sure tonight will be an all nighter with lots and lots of COFFEE!

I had to take our new kitten, Converse, to the emergency vet the other day. Roo "pawed" him in the head.. somehow managed to cut his mouth, bust his nose and hit him in head so hard that it brought blood to his right eye. Needless to say, I was a wreck. Seeing all the blood pouring from his mouth and nose... and then his eye and face swelling, I thought Roo has accidently killed my new kitten. Thankfully, it looked much worse than it was. Today is Con man's follow up vet appointment. Today we should know if little man will be blind in that eye or not. I really really hope he's going to be perfectly a-ok! All swelling is gone, his eye is starting to look normal again, still a bit red though. So, I'll just keep my fingers crossed!

I have a to-do list that is a mile long, and no time to do it all! But, I'm at the point where I have accepted it. Is he REALLY going to pay attention to the house? Probably not.

I have my homecoming dress ready, jewelry, shoes and Photographer are all in check! What's missing? My Husband, my Sailor!

One day and a wake up and then I can say, "Been there, done that, got the Tshirt"

(This post is OPSEC approved seeing as the Military, the Navy and the Ship have released homecoming information to the public)

End of Deployment: Unaccomplished

It has been almost six months since my husband left.
It honestly feels like he just left, but at the same time- it feels like he has been gone for so long.
I think, "Where has the past several months gone?".

Now, I sit here and I'm trying to figure out what I have accomplished the past six months. I had so much planned to do- but as I sit here.. I can't think of anything I had planned to do that I accomplished.

Honestly, I can't even remember most of the goals I set for this deployment!

I wanted to get in shape, but I couldn't commit to a workout routine fully. Although, I'm proud to say I'm 2lbs from the weight I graduated high school at.. however, I do not have my high school graduate body. Then= toned, now... we'll just say not toned.

I wanted to make a quilt while he was gone.. But I never found the time to work on it. But what did I do with all my free time? I feel like I'm always busy! I'm always doing something. But have I been as productive as I have felt this entire deployment? I don't really know in all honesty.

I know that most of my time has been focusing on buying a house and getting it ready for him- having it all ready and done by the time he comes home. Ran into issues with closing and now we have to wait until he comes home to close. I'm able to go ahead and move in the place.. but for some reason, it's just not the same. I wanted to have it done. I didn't want him to have to do anything. I think more than anything it was to prove to myself that I did it.. and could do it. But now.. The months of work that I've done for us to be able to buy a house.. all the paperwork, all the emails, house hunting.. I almost feel like I failed and in all actuality... I've really accomplished a lot with this house stuff. And I really shouldn't feel like I failed because he's going to come home- sign one piece of paper and it be done with. I know he doesn't and won't see me as a failure.

I focused a lot on my photography as well as my tshirt business. I know they are both something to be proud of as well. Not to forget the modeling jobs I have done since he's been gone. I had started to feel that I was no longer good at it, I had given up- but the past 6 months have proven that It's not over for me yet.. Too many job opportunities telling me I have all the potential in the world right now.

I'm proud of myself.. but in a way, for some reason.. I don't feel like I accomplished near as much as I should have. He's busting his rear every day.. and I feel like I've just been having a grand ole time.. and Although I've had lots of fun this deployment, I would have had more fun with him here.

I feel like I let my heart condition slow me down some.. This deployment hasn't been stressful for me nor has it even been hard.. but now, he's homeward bound and I'm finding myself a bit stressed.

This is where I have to remind myself- this is where I've put so much on my plate to accomplish for his homecoming. I've put too much pressure on myself for it to be a perfect homecoming. This is where I need to listen to my husband and repeat his words to myself, "Baby, no matter how much plans get changed, our little homecoming will be perfect. I promise." Really and truly- he's right. I don't have to be super wife for homecoming to be amazing.

Before deployment= there's some stress.
During deployment= You get to relax and de-stress. You get use to being alone.
The final countdown= You stress because a. You worry about fighting when readjusting to being together again, b. you beat yourself up because you've made your to-do list way too long and things happen that take away from the time you should have .. etc.

I had so many ideas for homecoming.. and well, Plans change or just totally flip flop!

• Homecoming pull in duty
• Now he's coming home to make room for the tiger cruise
• can't close on house
• holiday weekend, movers are booked, closed or charge ungodly rates for the holiday
• Time sneaks up on you
• doctor puts you on a heart monitor for 2 weeks (still wearing it now!) 
• your chest is having a reaction to the pads.. and looks as if you have chemical burns on your chest
• you worry about how you're going to look on homecoming day due to the small blisters and irritation (eww)
• You buy 3 dresses, 1 doesn't fit right and the other.. well, It just it's a good dress for you aka you look horrible in it. Praying 3rd is a charm- should arrive in the mail soon.
• Still have to get moved, unpacked and house decorated- that's the main goal
• decorate for a surprise late birthday
• make treats and snacks to be ready when he comes home.

I can keep going and going and going.

Now, I look at my countdown.. sigh.
I want him home. I do.. But honestly, I think I might beat myself up if I'm unable to accomplish everything on my list.. if I have to show up at homecoming looking like I have a flesh eating disease on my chest. Wondering if I'm going to have to wear this monitor longer.. possibly having it on for homecoming even... And then, I'd have to show up to the airport looking like I have a bomb strapped to me.

Yes, looking like I have a bomb strapped to me walking into an airport to pick up a man in uniform may be a bit funny-- but only if you're not the one with the thing strapped to you. :p

And now, I have wrote a novel.. and I'm not even sure what it's about at this point! Being a failure? Time crunched?

He's homeward bound.. and now, I can officially say, I. AM. STRESSED.

Learning During Deployment

I've been told that Deployment makes you experienced- or "know more" about being a Navy wife- or military wife in general. That somehow 10 deployments means that they know more about deployment than someone going through 1.

What is there to learn about deployment, not about the military.. but actual deployment? You're not going to learn all the ropes to "military life" just because you've been through mulitple deployments.

Talking with a friend last night.. to us, If you're an expert at deployment because you've been through so many- just means you've learned over and over how to live alone. You're an expert at being alone.

I guess deployment can teach you patience. It will show you what homecoming's like.. but really- What has someone who has been through mulitple deployment have on someone who has been through or going through one? Time- More time alone. That is it really.

So, when someone says "come talk to me after you've went through two deployments to say you understand.. etc" I'm pretty sure it doesn't even take going through a deployment to understand that deployment means that you're "alone"/ without your husband. It's the older wives way of "one upping".

Everything else about military life can be learned without even having to face a deployment. You don't have to go through a deployment to know about PCSing... You don't have to go through a deployment to learn to read an LES.. You don't have to go through a deployment to know there is a homecoming at the end of it, to learn about OPSEC, about the bases, the FRG, etc. It can all be learned with Never going on a deployment.

Deployment is his or her job that separates couples and families for long periods of times. It challenges you to do things you would typically do together- alone. It can teach you patience, waiting. It can teach you good communication. Deployment will show you that the "old dogs" aren't always the most knowledgeable but you let a "youngster" come in that has asked questions and has learned about "military things" before even going through a deployment... then they are a "know it all", or should I say, "MrsThinks she knows it all". And some of them feel they are better merely because they are older.

They may have been around longer- but it's clear that not all of them know better or more. Learning isn't just through experience. The best way to learn for some is  by asking questions, and wanting to learn about it.

Honestly, what has this deployment taught me or shown thus far? Facebook is the devil for catty older wives, It has taught me even more about my amazing relationship with my husband. I learned the term, "Boat Boo" in addition to what I've always heard people say "Boat hoe". I've learned that the last weeks of deployment really bring out some individuals true (fake) colors. So, Really.. deployment hasn't taught me anything, it's shown me a few things.. but teaching wise- deployment has nothing to do with that. The only thing I will learn, is to stop being so nice to people and experience a homecoming. Everything else, I could learn without deployment, and able to learn things without being associated as a military wife for many years. There are wives that have been associated with military less than I have and have learned more than I have the same way I have- reading and asking questions (Kudos to you!)

Deployment, is just that... deployment, him doing his job and giving you the challenges of doing everything he helped you with, alone. You don't have to be a military wife to gain that knowledge either.

Sloooow Down!

YES, I'm talking about deployment. I'm wanting time to slow down a little bit. Time is going by so fast that I can't keep up! He will be home very soon and I have SO much planned for him- for us and time is going by so fast that I can't keep up!

I'm anxious, excited and well.. FREAKING OUT!

Freaking out because we're about to close on our house, I still have  A LOT to pack, I have to schedule the movers.. then unpack and decorate in a matter of ___Days!

Yes ___ Days!  (Insert relatively low number in the blank!)

On top of packing, planning and moving.. I want to make a birthday surprise for him.. I want it to be PERFECT.. By perfect, I mean totally cheesy, over the top- and well.. so us.

I have bought him entirely way too many gifts, and I'm sure I will be buying more (I go shopping for me and only buy for him- go figure). Half of them are already wrapped in obnoxious "Happy Birthday" paper. I Have "Happy Birthday" balloons ready to blow up and throw all over the dinning room. I need to get obnoxious streamers.. and lord knows what else I'll end up doing for decor. I plan to have all the wrapped gifts on the table with all the pretty decorations around.. plus some sweet snacks. I've decided on making Cake Pops because they are totally awesome.

See, Awesome right?! Imagine them with a bunch of colorful sprinkles... Oh yes, I'm going to have a blast making them!

Then there's the bedroom I have plans for- but that's for a different blog/ giveaway to be hosted very soon!

Not to mention I have some kick ass ideas for homecoming signs I plan to put up everywhere around our new house- which he has yet to see aside from pics sent to him in email!

I have so so so much to do.. and a very small amount of time to accomplish it in. So days, Please slow down because I want to rock this first deployment coming to an end!

Oh how I wish I could just snap my finger's and it all be perfect. If I could do that, I would so hope that homecoming was tomorrow!

Cheater, Cheater, Pumpkin Eater..

Answer me this, WHY get married if you can't stay committed to your marriage?

And please, don't anyone tell me that "Cheating doesn't mean you're not committed to your marriage." That is utter bullshit. If you're committed to your marriage- to your relationship... You are NOT going to cheat.

There is no justifying cheating. It is never okay to cheat. If your significant other cheats, it doesn't mean it's okay for you to cheat too. Two wrongs definitely and most obviously don't make a right.

Cheating is selfish. Cheating always hurts someone.

If you can't stay faithful and COMMITTED to your relationship- Leave. Grow a pair, be an adult and get out of your relationship. You want to be with someone else and also stay with your SO? Well, you can't always have your cake and eat it too.

Reverse the roles. Do you want to be cheated on? Does anyone ever really want to be cheated on? C'mon, noone is honestly going to say, "I would love to have the person I'm dating/ married to to cheat on me". Seriously?

If you're offended by this post, then quite honestly.. You probably shouldn't read my blog because we surely don't share that much in common as far as Morales. We can never be friends. I refuse to associate or be friends with someone who is going to cheat on their spouse.

I know deployment is hard for some. But Cheating?
"I didn't mean to, it just happened". Bullshit. If you feel tempted- why in the Hell would you put yourself in a situation to where it could happen? Own up- you suck, end of story!

If you feel "Lonely" and you need company- Go to Fleet & Family- or the like for your husband's branch. GET HELP. OR just tell your significant other that you can't handle a long distance relationship and that you need someone catering to your physical needs all the time. Because isn't that what it really is? YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE OTHER NOT BEING THERE PHYSICALLY.

Again, If you cheat. You suck.

That's my take on it.

Before You Know It...

My husband JUST left.. that's how it seems. How can it be so close to homecoming? It's crazy.

Time has Flown this deployment. Very soon, I will be welcoming my amazing husband home.

Deployment day, I watched the ship leave. I watched the ship until I could no longer see her anymore. It disappeared in the distance. I thought, "This is it, deployment is official now". I had wondered how hard it was going to be. Wondered if I would be one of the sad girls.. even wondered if I would end up being one of those on Depression pills as another blogger had posted about me.

I'm proud to say- I'm not sad. I don't think deployment is hard (again, this is speaking about myself). I am most definitely not on any Depression or anxiety medicines [So, here's the middle finger to you Mrs. I don't know you but I'm calling you out on some bogus BS].

Deployment doesn't have to be a bad experience. You don't have to be sad, and miserable- no matter what the length of your deployment is. I'm obvious proof of that.

I didn't think that deployment would go this fast. Honestly, I thought deployment would drag on and most days would seem long. Man O'man, was I wrong. Deployment has flown by! Now, I'm having trouble keeping up!

People say, "It'll be over before you know it!". I've seen a few ladies get mad at the statement.. but you know what? Homecoming is almost here and now I'm running out of time to do all the tings I have planned for homecoming. It snuck up on me- Before I knew it.. BAM! It's seriously right around the corner!

Seriously, keeping busy and giving yourself relax days is definitely how to make time pass by! Good communication is key to making your relationship work through phone and email.

Now, I have insane butterflies. I'm getting anxious and overly excited. Someone says homecoming and I smile insanely big. I look at the countdown I have here at home.. and wonder, "Where did all this time go?!".  Where did May go? Didn't we JUST hit the halfway point?! We're almost there.

Now, I really need to figure out what I'm going to wear! If I end up on anxiety meds, it's going to be because shopping for a perfect homecoming dress is STRESSFUL! ;)

Home is Where YOUR Heart is

"Home is where the heart is". Where is YOUR Heart?

For some, it may be their hometown, wherever their mom and dad are, where their kids are.. Or like me, Where their husband is.

My home is wherever my husband is. My husband has my heart, completely. So I guess you could say, "My heart is on the Enterprise". But also thinking about the subject, my heart is here. Here in VA, even though he, my husband, is thousands of miles away.

Why in Virginia? This is where OUR home is. This is where we are together, this is where we live. Anywhere I am with him, is HOME.

I may still refer to Tennessee as Home, but really- it's not home anymore. Tennessee is where I grew up, where I met my husband, were we were married... etc. It was home in the past, it may be home in the future. But for now, Virginia is home. It is where my husband and I are currently making a home.

But that's more on a physical standpoint. But what is "Home" to me emotionally..

Home to me, isn't just about Where we live really. Home is where he and I are together. "Home" to me is a feeling. Feeling complete, feeling comfortable, feeling warm and feeling loved. My "home" isn't complete right now. A big piece of the puzzle is missing. Although I know I have his heart, his physical presence is missing, leaving my home incomplete.

Where is home to you? What defines home in your eyes? What makes your home complete?

Dear 16 Year Old Me

This video really makes you think.

Halfway there!

Friday night was USS Enterprise halfway party. No, that does not mark the exact halfway point of deployment, marking the exact halfway point would be a violation of OPSEC.

I had a lot of fun. It was very well planned. The food was pretty good- although, the servers took the food away way too soon (this gal likes to eat!). The cookies made up for it though ;).

The FRG planned it wonderfully. Something like 50 items were donated for door prizes (I donated 6 items- 3 shirts from CRushGFX, A Print of the Ship and a Free session from Christina Rush Photography, and Sailor LEGO Keychain made by Boxhounds from this website, The Journey of a Navy Wife). I am unsure who all one my donations, but I hope they all enjoy them! I won a $25 giftcard from Lowes- which works out perfectly since we are closing on our house next month!

The gals and I danced the night away, just let loose and had fun. Great conversations, lots of laughs and me dancing like a chicken. Yea, I can't dance.

I broke it down to "Ice Ice Baby" by Vanilla Ice- Yeah.. That I can do. I then dedicated "Jump On It" to a friend, and we got out there and did the Carlton dance. We had a blast.

Of course, I took a break to email my husband from my phone while catching a water break. Telling him about the party some and about winning the gift card. I'm sure he got a good laugh out of some of the emails.

A few friends had a little something to drink (alcohol) and they made the night even more amusing. I can't count how many times I was laughing so hard that I couldn't breathe!

They played a shout out video from the ship- it was nice. My husband wasn't in the video, unfortunately- but that's ok. He emailed me right around the same time the video was playing.. so We emailed back and forth for a bit.

We stayed at the party til about Midnight. We then decided it was iHop time. We went, ate and chatted. Before we knew it.. it was after 2. I was exhausted. I dropped off the gals and I headed home. I got home a little after 3am. I hit the bed and was out. I slept pretty good that night!

Now, We're getting closer to being with our loved ones again. We're on the downhill slope of deployment. We've got it on Cruise control, and it's going to be here before we know it. Get out, have fun.. and things will just fly by. They have for me! Seems like he just left, but he'll be home soon.

Here's a few pics!

Before the dress and before the party

All dressed up- Dress I purchased from Goodnight Moon! (Thanks Amber!)

I love this woman!

Hi! (Yes, completely sober- I don't drink!)

Dancing to "Ice Ice Baby" Old school!

One of my Absolute BEST friends!

Some of our group for the night

It's Deployment, You're REQUIRED to be MISERABLE!

It's becoming more clear to me that during deployment you are expected to be miserable. It is a requirement. It seems to be Politically incorrect to be Happy.

I say {earmuffs} FUCK that!

Being happy, being independent is OK. And DO NOT let ANYONE tell you otherwise- Do NOT believe that you have to be miserable every single day of deployment, that every day that your Significant other is away you have to be curled up at home crying your eyes out. You DO NOT have to be depressed, and sad. You CAN be happy.

Deployment isn't about being sad. Your S.O. is doing a job for Months away from Family. YOU have the ability to make yourself happy. Deployment has no ability to make you happy nor does it have the ability to make you depressed. YOU DO. It is up to YOU.

YES, being away from your loved one is HARD. NO ONE said it was easy. BUT HOW you deal with it can either make it harder on you or easier. I CHOOSE to make it easier on myself and easier on my husband. If I were making myself miserable every damn day- do you think the time apart is going easy to deal with for you? Better yet, what about your service member? He (or she) has ENOUGH to WORRY about with his/her job! The last thing they need to be worrying about is your Mental state of being, or worrying about if you can take care of yourself.

Well guess what! I AM HAPPY. I Choose to be happy and make the best of my time apart from my husband. He is PROUD of me for making my day to day life run as smoothly as possible- and his.

IF someone happens to tell you that YOU'RE supposed to be miserable.. or that because you're HAPPY that you are a "Slap in the face to those who are weak". Know that they are making themselves miserable. They choose to attempt to belittle you because they have it in their puney little brains that you HAVE to be miserable during deployment. Guess what. YOU CAN BE HAPPY. It IS a choice.

Winner Winner!

I was supposed to announce the winner on Thursday. However, I got sidetracked (it happens a lot!).

So, Today.. Right now, I am announcing the winner of the Sailor LEGO Keychain from boxhounds.

And the Winner is.... {Drum-roll please}....

Alyssa!

(Alyssa, I will be emailing you shortly!)

If you weren't the lucky lady from the USS Enterprise halfway party last night to win the Sailor LEGO keychain, or you're not Alyssa- Check out boxhounds to get yours today!

Give Away, Give Away! (Sailor)

It's been quite some time since I have done a giveaway. I think the last giveaway was my 200 followers giveaway. Look at my blog now! More than 300 followers on here and more than 450 on my Blog fan page.

*blushes*

Thanks y'all!

The item I'm giving away is a LEGO Sailor keychain.
It.Is.Awesome!

I know, I know.. It's branch specific- BUT I love it, and I just couldn't help myself.
Just look at how awesome it is:

I found this little booger on Etsy. Yes, I'm addicted to Etsy. The site is Boxhounds on Etsy. They were actually out of the Sailor keychains, so I put in a custom order for them. I ordered one for me.. and one for this giveaway... and a few for friends. The turn around time was so incredibly fast! Seriously- go check them out.

The site also makes them for Marines! So- Check it out!

So.. Now you're wondering. How do I enter?

Ways to enter:

(multiple chances for entry!)

1. "Follow" my blog (click the follow button up top)

2. Comment this blog post with how you found my blog.

3. "Like" The Journey of a Navy Wife on Facebook.

3. Follow me on Twitter @NavyWifeLife

4. Tweet about this giveaway!

5. Post on Facebook about this giveaway!

6. Blog about this giveaway!

There are 6 chances to enter! :D

Post EACH entry in a Separate comment to this blog post.

Also, Put your email address with your comment!
(if you don't put your email address, you MUST check back my blog to see if you win, I will not track you down! :P)

Entry to this giveaway will End May 5 at Noon- eastern time. 

Ready, Set, Go!

Talk To Me

In my nearly 3 years as a Navy wife, what is the one thing I have learned that is Key to a Military Relationship? Not even just a military relationship, Relationships in general? Communication.

Without communication what do you have? Nothing really. Without good communication, You can't have trust, can't have full honesty.. You don't have a Solid foundation for a relationship. You're left with a relationship that is set up for failure- UNLESS you improve on both partner's communication with each other.

Lack of communication causes couples to grow apart. I'm not talking about the long periods of time that a service member CAN'T contact you due to deployment. In your casual emails, phone calls.. day to day life together.. How much is really said between the two of you? How often does he tell you how he's doing? When in port, does he tell you about the things he did? Things he seen? How included in his or her life are you without being there? And reverse it.. How included do you keep them in your life while he or she is away during deployment? It all falls back on communication with each other.

My husband and I didn't always have good communication skills- making periods of time very tough for each other. We weren't together physically, he was away to a-school and I wasn't allowed to live with him. Aside from boot camp, it was the first time we had ever been apart from each other. We thought our communication was good, but in reality, we had a lot to learn.

A-school, as some of you may know, was our big challenge. What made that so challenging is because our communication with each other was rather horrible. It led to trust issues and little lies. I had honestly wondered at times if our marriage was going to be broken due to the military (Military not to blame, but only ourselves- didn't see that then).

Both of us wanted things to work, and work well. We loved each other too much not to. We started to work together and find the root cause of our trouble. It came down to communication. We started discussing more, talking things out- every situation, every issue we faced from there on out. Then the Workups started at his permanent duty station. We knew it was going to challenge us again.

I'm proud to say, that all the work we put into learning to talk to each other and work together paid off. It also totally proved my point to me and to him. Communication is KEY to a relationship. You NEED it. Here we are more than 2 years later, and our communication skills are as strong as ever. I don't hear from him every day.. sometimes longer, but I'm apart of his every day life and he is mine. He writes to me when he can, sometimes they are short emails.. but he will go out of his way to write me to make sure I know he loves me and that he needs me. I tell him about all my little endeavors without him (minus homecoming surprises) to make him feel like he stays apart of my life here at home without him. This allowing our trust to stay strong.

I could keep going with this post, but I feel I'm starting to ramble.

Just talk to your SO, get them involved. Communicate.