Wednesday, February 23, 2011

I Miss You More & and Raffle!

Today I guest blogged over at  Confessions of a Sailors Wife! It's one of those posts where I was doing something thinking.. Lots and lots of thinking.

I titled the Post "I Miss You More". It's a phase my husband and I often say to each other. But what does that entail? WHAT does Missing someone MORE mean?

Amber from Goodnight Moon raved: "Great guest post!!!!! Maybe even one of my favorites you've ever written!"

So, You know it's worth checking out! ;)

Be sure to check out the post and show some love!

Click the link above to go straight to the blog post.

THEN, Go help out 8 year old Logan!
Logan was diagnosed with Cancer just WEEKS after his dad returned from deployment. His family needs all the help and support you all can give!
Even IF you don't read my guest post, PLEASE help out Logan!

JUST $5 get you entered into a raffle to win great things AND to help Logan!
There is a donate button in the top Right of Goodnight Moon's page- in her sidebar.
PLEASE help!!

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Time to Freak Out

It has been an eventful deployment week. Everything Ship oriented I'm going to post in this blog has already had it's official statements and military release posted- so don't worry about anything being against OPSEC.

Communications have been down for several days now. This is something I typically wouldn't post about, however the Ombudsman has put it out for everyone to know. BTW- Communications down sometimes mean missions.. which is why talking about Comm. Blackouts are against OPSEC.

ANYWAY.. I haven't heard from my husband in several days. I didn't get a phone call for my birthday or an email from him. Comms. have been down for several days now.. and Did I or Have I freaked out? Worried? Get upset? .... NO ....

I don't expect emails. I don't expect calls. I'm not going to wait around an entire day- every day for an email! That email will be there when I get the chance to check it. I know my husband is entirely way to busy to email me back and forth for extended periods of time. He's not going to wait for me to reply- he doesn't have the time. He has a job to do. That job does not guarantee him the luxury to be able to email me at any given time or even every day OR every week. This is for ALL military.. not just the Navy and not just my husband's rate. Emailing or calling me is not his priority- never will be during deployment- It CAN'T be because he is Working. Yes, the Military is a way of life, however.. it is his j-o-b.

Worrying does you no good. The only thing it does is raise your blood pressure.

Ok, So.. WHY are Comms. down? Them dirty ole Pirates!
Unfortunately they don't look nearly as good or dressed like Johnny Depp or Orlando Bloom... They are very much real.

Ok, getting back on track:
The ship and her strike group have been following a yacht that was overtaken by 18 Somali Pirates. They had 4 American Missionaries held hostage- the Yacht belonged to he Americans.

The Strike Group tried to negotiate when the Somalis fired a missile then gunfire rang on the yacht. The Somalis had shot the 4 American Hostages and then surrendered. Two of the 18 Somali Pirates were killed when Sailor's boarded the yacht and 3 others were found dead- unsure of the cause of their death. The remaining 13 are being held in the Brig on the USS Enterprise- my husband's Ship.

For a few days I knew this was going on and suspected it was the Big E and her strike group. However, I kept to myself and made no big deal of it. Many posted about it on FB.. people started getting anxious and worrying. Today it was released that it was the E- as many suspected.

I never freaked out, never worried, never had an upsetting thought pop in my head. Again, it's the whole thing of  "This is his j-o-b". IF there is something I need to worry about, it's not my husband.. if I worry constantly, this is going to be a MISERABLE deployment. IF something happens to him.. If he gets hurt, THEN I'll worry... I would be contacted.

This is where I say my favorite Deployment saying:


*Smacks forehead*

Their job is to get things done. Protecting, fighting, Pirates.. etc WHATEVER is thrown at them. They are Sailors, soldiers, Marines and Airmen.. THEY ARE THE MILITARY. That is their job. Our job is being on the homefront- staying sane, being supportive and don't worry and freak them out because you can't keep a clear head.

Deployments are hard on them too.. don't make it any harder on yourself OR Him (or her) by Freaking out and worrying over every mission.. every communication black out.. OR even just ONE day of not hearing from your husband, daughter, boyfriend, sister.. etc! They are WORKING.

The end. 

Official Posting about the Pirates: (Official means: Postings from the Government and Military.. not CNN or Navy times- those are not official)

Tuesday, February 15, 2011


The other day I emailed my husband. Sometimes I think of something totally cheesy and just email him. He gets lots of cheesy emails. But that's how we are- we're one of those cheesy, goofy couples.

I sent him this:

Dear Husband,
You are a thief! You stole something very precious and delicate to me. You didn't just take half,  You took ALL of it. You greedy punk! All I got to say, Is you better take care of it and bring it home in one piece. I'm warning you, it's very fragile.. So, PLEASE be careful. Do not break it. Although you stole it, I'm going to allow you to keep it. Because with you, it's happy, it gets excited.. it beats only for you. You have my heart.
I love you.
I'm cheesy, yes.. we know this. But that's why you love me, and why I love you- we are equally cheesy. <3

Love always,
Your Wife

Just something I knew would make him chuckle. I was right :)
He laughed after he realized half way into reading it that I was being cheesy. He said that when he first started reading it he was freaking out thinking I was serious and he thought I really was mad about something and he couldn't figure out what he did. Once he realized I was talking about how he has my heart, he laughed.

It is partially true- He does have my heart, not just half but all of it. The part that isn't true is he didn't steal it. I gave it to him. I was reluctant to give it to him at first, but it was the best decision I ever did. Working on 4 years later.. and I would do it all over again.

If I could go back to do it again, I would have opened myself up to him sooner instead of really making him work to get me. Although, knowing how hard he tried, how he stuck with me until I was ready to commit,  how he never gave up with me just showed me time and time again that he was perfect for me and I needed to stop running from it. Being scared of getting hurt and pushing the one you want to be with away only makes things harder.

I'm so thankful he didn't give up on me and that he kept trying.

I have to say, I'm one lucky gal.

Monday, February 14, 2011

Valentine's Day blog swap

 Today I'm excited to have Annoyed Army Wife guest post for me today! Check out her blog!
I sit here trying to find the words to say about her and her blog and for once, I am speechless. Reading and thumbing through her blog- everything is relatable, and some of the things I read I think "Someone understands!". I haven't found many others that refer to their pets as "Furbabies" and I got a big smile knowing she does to! Then infertility, I now know someone else who understands! Oh, and it seems she and I have both been having internet/ computer issues this week.. what are the chances! Anyway- Her blog is a MUST READ!

So, Why the guest blog post (aside from the fact that she's awesome)? Because Riding the Roller Coaster set up this great idea to hijack a post on another Military S.O.'s blogidy blog today! Yep- I can be found elsewhere today for my "Valentine's Post"! Look for a link soon!

***Edit: You can check out my post over at And You Never Did Think!

Meanwhile- Check out Wife on the Roller Coaster's blog! (Clicky the button below) and Look for my post and All the other hijacked blogs for Valentine's day! It's worth it!

button so awesomely put together by Mrs. Muffins!

Now, to your Feature presentation!

This is the last of The Quest for a Kiss series of posts I’ve been doing.  If you’d like to catch up (but you don’t have to) you can read the last posts at  Thanks to Christina for hosting me today!  Happy Valentine’s Day or un-Valentine’s Day!
A little background if you’re new to the series.  It recounts the tale of my first few dates with my now-husband seven years ago.  We had gone on 4 wonderful dates, however we had not had our first kiss yet (and it was killing me).  This post will tell the tale of my scheming and planning to get that illusive kiss.  I hope you enjoy it.
February 2004

After four amazing dates and too many phone conversations to count, I was ready to figure out if this relationship was going to work, and, almost as important, if OccDoc liked my cooking. I loved (and still do) to cook. I decided on the menu for that evening: Honey-Mustard Glazed Salmon, Wild Rice Pilaf (with wild rice straight from Canada), Fancy Green Beans, and Apple Brown Betty. If that meal didn’t win him over I didn’t know what would.

The meal was planned. I looked around my kitchen, if we were going to have a nice meal, I would need some dinnerware. I had only been in the apartment for 2 months and all my worldly possession fit into 3 SUVs – I didn’t bring much.  The previous week I welcomed my new queen-sized bed into my tiny bedroom and said goodbye to the Army cot I bought at the surplus store. I slept on that cot for almost 2 months, and let me tell you it was really uncomfortable. I also went to Ikea and bought a dining room table and some chairs as well as an entertainment center. The main issue left to tackle was my lack of dishes (and funds). I was eating off of camping dishes I borrowed from my parents, but there was no way I was going to serve a delicious meal for this new guy (with potential) on them. I headed over to the Pier One outlet store and picked up some nice plates and dishes, as well as some silverware and glasses.  Everything was bought; now I needed to clean my apartment to make it spotless for OccDoc.  It was February 13th, the day before OccDoc would be there for dinner. I went to sleep well after 2 AM with my hands still smelling like lemon Pledge.

I felt kind of awkward inviting OccDoc over for Valentine’s Day when we hadn’t even kissed before (but it was our fifth date for crying out loud!). I was worried he would feel pressured. When I invited him over I made it clear that I was only inviting him over on Valentine’s Day because it happened to fall on a Saturday that year and that I thought Valentine’s Day was stupid and over commercialized. The only problem with that is OccDoc still thinks I believe that (I really don’t think that, OccDoc, you can bring me flowers, candy, and a romantic card – that’s fine – or jewelry, I guess I’ll accept jewelry, too.).

February 14, 2004

The sound of my buzzer washed over the apartment, and my throat started to constrict, my heart rate increased, and my breathing got shallow and raspy. It was the first time I cooked a decent meal in that oven and it took way longer than anticipated. I would have probably had better luck using a box of matches to cook the salmon; it would have been quicker. I slammed the door to the bunnies’ room closed (I didn’t want to expose that much crazy just yet) and opened the front door to reveal a blond-haired, blue-eyed man sharply dressed in a pale yellow button down, brown belt, jeans and brown shoes to match his belt each hand holding a bottle of wine (oh, yeah, we’re winos). I invited him in and looked for a wine bottle opener. I put two brand new wine glasses on the counter and poured us each a healthy (read: large) glass of wine. We toasted to a delicious un-Valentine’s Day dinner. OccDoc also brought over a movie for us to watch after dinner. He won’t tell me what he was bringing when I talked to him earlier, but he finally revealed the DVD while we drank our first glass of wine. The movie was so telling about who he was and endearing to me; he brought over Monsters, Inc. Since I didn’t have a couch I set up the TV in my bedroom (I’m no dummy, I figured I’d get him in there one way or another). We decided to save the movie until after dinner.

After about an hour of wine and talking, the salmon was finally ready. We sat down to eat dinner, and OccDoc raved about the meal the whole time. I thought he was overdoing it a bit, saying ‘Mmmmm’ after every bite, but he still does that to this day when he’s eating my cooking. I’m beginning to think he actually likes what I make. After dinner we washed the dishes and I tried to turn up the heat a notch. I tried everything I could think of to be sexy and entice him to kiss me. I didn’t wear lipstick, since I thought that might intimidate him, but I put on some lip-gloss to boost the sex appeal of my lips. I leaned against the wall and doorways when talking with him – real sexy-like, not slouchy. I made sure just enough cleavage was peaking out, but not too much. I touched his arms, shoulders, and chest when we talked. I laughed at all his jokes, even the lame ones. All evening I was trying to drop hints and give him signs that I wanted him to kiss me, and still by the end of the night my lips remained untouched.

It was getting past 11 that evening, OccDoc and I were still at the table talking having the last of the wine (2 bottles, people). We were laughing and having a great time. OccDoc said it was getting late and he should take off (now that I’m writing this I realize that I drank most of the wine and OccDoc had maybe 3 glasses, but still he should not have been on the road). He was such a gentleman being considerate of not staying too late. I, on the other hand, was like ‘What?! It’s only 11, it’s barely dark outside.’ But I respected him.
My vintage apartment was lacking in closet space and was set up really weird. The coat closet was all the way in the kitchen tucked in a corner, which was the farthest possible corner from the front door. OccDoc got up to grab his coat to leave; I followed him into the kitchen. We talked for a few more minutes with OccDoc holding his coat in his hands in the middle of the kitchen. I was starting to panic. Did this guy think he was going to get out of here without kissing me? Did I cook this awesome meal for NOTHING? How did I let him get between the door and me? How was I supposed to block his exit if he had the upper hand? I needed a plan, and quick!

OccDoc turned to leave. He took a step away from me towards the door. I had to act right then and there if I wanted any chance of a kiss. I reached out and grabbed his belt. I pulled him back to me and spun him around. Before he had an opportunity to react, my lips pressed against his. We locked lips and OccDoc’s coat dropped to the floor as his hands found my waist. He kissed me like I’d never been kissed before. I pushed him back towards the wall of my bedroom and leaned against him. It was hot. One of the hottest moments we’ve ever shared. Just thinking back to that moment gives me chills and a rush.

Fast-forward to a few hours later in my bed lying in each other’s arms. We barely made it past 2nd base; OccDoc was a true gentleman and stopped all my advances (Ugh). My head was nestled on OccDoc’s chest, I rose up as he took a deep breath and broke the silence by saying, “I have a couple of things I need to tell you.” My mind raced; I had no idea what to expect. He took a deep breath and moved me so he could look me in the eye. His sweaty hands were just one of the many nervous signals he was giving off. His nervousness made me nervous, but I promised myself no matter what he said I’d play it cool and not blow this. “I’m not getting my M.D.” I knew OccDoc was in medical school, so that statement threw me. I thought he was going to tell me he was going to be a nurse or paramedic, but then he said, “I’m getting my D.O., doctor of osteopathic medicine.” He explained what a D.O. was and that he receives the same training as an M.D., with some additional muscoskeletal education. I let out a sign of relief. Blah, blah, blah, who cares?  What was the big deal? As far as I was concerned it sounded like name of the degree was just a matter of semantics, he was still going to be a doctor. I didn’t know why he was so nervous to tell me. “Okay, no biggie,” I said as I ran my fingers through his hair. I expect him to relax and collapse back into my arms, but he remained fixed in position.

“There’s something else,” OccDoc said. His tone got even more serious and grave. His eyes looked down and couldn’t meet mine anymore. The poor guy was suffering and clearly terrified to tell me something; I knew it was something big. Like, I thought he was married or just got someone pregnant.  I kissed him once more to reassure him that I could handle whatever he was about to tell me. “I’m on an Army scholarship for medical school.” Oh. What. The. Crap. I had 2 rules for dating: 1. No doctors and 2. No military guys. I just freaking broke both of my rules! I was all in with this guy, I really, really liked him; there was no turning back now, not without a lot of regrets and heartache. I was going to give this guy a shot, even if he was in the Army. The reason for my dating rules was that my career was way too important to me (I just got my masters degree) and I didn't want to have to keep moving around.  Ha.  Ha ha ha!

That night lying in my bed I didn’t realize the full impact of OccDoc’s second statement. It would take a couple of years before we were waist deep in camo for me to understand the gravity of that statement. OccDoc swears he told me he was in the Army before our fifth date, but I either didn’t hear it or he’s wrong. I would remember that little factoid if I heard it, an elephant never forgets. That was the day I knew my life would change, I just wasn’t sure how much or when the changes would start. Oh, foolish, foolish me...

Friday, February 11, 2011

9 Days!

(betcha thought this was going to be a OPSEC violation didn't ya? Not! haha)

My birthday is coming up. Nothing special.. my birthday doesn't really phase me too much... although, before my husband deployed we were talking and I mentioned how there seems like there is such a big jump between 23 and 24. I don't know why that is because.. in all actuality, it's only a year. He however, decides to be a "wiseguy". In response to me saying it seems like a big jump/ a lot older, he says, "Because it is". Of course he was joking. I laughed (after dead legging him).

Now, he is counting down. He sends me emails, "12 days until your birthday ;)", "10 days!" and today, "9 days baby!". Ok, I know he has nothing planned because well- We do share a bank account! (he's not a big gifter) haha. So, now I wonder.. is he just doing this to remind me that I'm older, or that I'm always going to be older than him.. or (maybe) is he actually more excited about my birthday than I am?


He did buy me a bracelet from his last port. I was quite shocked at that seeing as in nearly 4 years, the only jewelry he has bought me is my wedding rings lol. I have to wait until homecoming to get it though, he's too scared to mail it. I can't say that I blame him for not wanting to mail it though.. Things have been "mysteriously" disappearing from packages going to and from the ship. "cough cough mailroom". *shakes head*

Anyway, I will be staying in VA for my birthday. Had nothing planned, but some of the most amazing ladies I know have decided that "nothing" is not going to happen. We're going out- dancing.. idk. Most likely going to be themed (quite possibly "Cowboys and Indians" because I'm Native American and very country). I told the husband about it yesterday and He is requiring me to take lots of pics for him.

Is it a big deal he's missing my Birthday? nah. It's not the first birthday he's missed and it won't be the last.

BUT as a Birthday present to myself! I bought myself an awesome carpet cleaner today. Woot! So, now- that's what I'm off to go do! :)

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Ready to Run

I use to think when wives moved home that sometimes it was because they couldn't handle it, "it" being Deployment. I didn't think that about everyone, I know there are some that move home to save money or personal reasons- I can't say I blame anyone there.

Lately, I find myself thinking "I should have moved home". Not because I can't handle deployment- I'm still A-OK in how the actual deployment is affecting me. However, I am starting to see in a way how things with deployment are affecting me... and It's not my problems with deployment, it's other's problems with deployment that are getting to me.

Oh yes- Constant negativity. This is where I say "Stay away from Facebook!". And I would love to do so, but I have a lot of business with my photography and my graphics that I get questions about on FB via my personal page and my fan pages as well.

It is constant. Wives getting mad and upset because they haven't heard from their husband. People starting rumors about the ship and also putting it into other's heads that their husbands are out cheating on them because they don't hear from their husband in some way.. and on and on and on..

What people aren't realizing or are failing to acknowledge is these men and woman have a job to do. No amount of whining,  or keeping a piss and vinegar attitude is going to change the fact that their life revolves around their job- it's a choice they made and Yes.. YOU made that choice too when you chose to be with him (or her).

Anyway, every day I see more negative posts, more drama between wives and it's beyond annoying. I know I have myself to blame because A. I still use Facebook  B. I have made friends with so many people that when there is a problem I hear about it constantly- I just want to hit the pause button or yell TIME OUT!

Bitches get Catty! There, I said it.

My husband says I'm "Too Nice" because I like being supportive, and try to be to the best of my ability. However, I also believe that in order to get support- you need to be selfless at times and give support back. I Can't give and give constantly. I'm not a pushover but I will go out of my way when someone needs something, but there will come a point where I feel taken advantage of- especially if that person can't respect the face that I want a day to sit on my booty and eat Cheetos all day while playing around in my graphics program. I like "ME" time. That's an issue for me- people being too needy and getting upset and causing drama when you respectfully request a day to do for yourself. I don't need those people, don't want those people in my life.

I'm just rambling here- but I think you get the gist of what I'm saying.
Deployment really shows who is independent, who is in between and those who can't function alone.

I started P90X again this week and Tomorrow I'm Ready to start running every day. Running helps me clear my head and to relax. In those cases where I see something that makes me want to say "WTF!?" or pushes me to a point where I want to say something I probably shouldn't... Running will ease all that built up energy and agression.

I'm so Ready to run.

Monday, February 7, 2011

Oh Say Can You See..

Last night was the Super Bowl- I'm sure most of you knew this already. Did you watch it?

What's your favorite part of the Super Bowl? Is it the game? The halftime show?

For me, personally, My favorite thing about the Super Bowl is the National Anthem. If there is one thing that can choke me up in a heartbeat- it's that song. It's beautiful.

Last night, For those of you who didn't watch, Christina Aguilera messed up. I am a fan of Christina Aguilera, however I was disappointed that she, in my opinion, butchered the song. The woman has a beautiful voice, but her talent wasn't 100% showcased last night- again, this is just my opinion.
It is however, undeniable that she completely missed some lyrics. Which was what was so disappointing. It's not the first time she's sang this song at events.. and although she is human, she was paid quite a bit of money to preform last night. It is her job, and is expected for her to do it right- after all, she's not just starting out in this business.

Some people are offended by her mishap, I however am not offended. I just shake my head in disappointment. I understand that she is human. However, it seems like with the Super Bowl, music artists try to go far too over the top. Trying to showcase their full vocal range, wailing and screaming.. and This is a song that doesn't need all that. The song, to me, is simply beautiful in it's self. It doesn't need to be "over done".

Keep it simple, remember the lyrics.. FEEL the lyrics and let the meaning soak in. Then maybe, just maybe The National Anthem- The Star Spangled Banner will have more of a meaning to it instead of celebrities making a contest to see who can go more over the top with it.

Whitney Houston- You will forever be my favorite Super Bowl anthem singer.

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

When does this get hard?

Lately, I've caught some hell because Deployment has yet to really affect me. I've actually had one girl try to say I don't love my husband or I'm cheating on him.. ect. None of which is true. Tonight, I was wondering about How deployment is affecting me.. and aside from not remembering to put out the Trash on Tuesday mornings for pickup- I'm not all that affected by it.

I have always been told that the first month is the hardest- Well, January down and I'm still not affected. Why Am I not affected by this deployment, or yet to be affected? I'm betting noone can answer that better than myself because well, Hey- I think I know myself best ;)

I think because I mentally prepared myself, I am able to cope with him being gone easily. I refused to focus on the fact of deployment coming up and focused on my husband, myself, my marriage, packing his things and just enjoying the time I had left with him instead of looking at the negatives.

Before I met my husband and while we were dating I was completely independent. I had rent, bills 2 jobs- the works. I relied on noone BUT myself. I have yet to loose that about myself. If anything, my husband is the dependent one because I do everything to take care of him- Minus the real money intake.. he's got me bet there (for now!).

I keep myself busy- None stop until I get so tired I pass out. I do give myself days to be a couch potato as well. But I do things to keep my mood upbeat.

Staying Positive also helps too! I have not seen one negative person to deal with this deployment well. Negative is just that.. All around NEGATIVE. So, Smile!Take the negativity OUT of your life- THIS INCLUDES PEOPLE! Sometimes even your closest friends. It may suck at first, but in the long run, you will be better for it. You can't be drug down by other's constant negativity. It's one thing to have a bad day- Those are allowed. The constant negativity or people starting drama, friends starting fights for no reason other than to start drama- GET RID OF IT! Sometimes, You have to put yourself first. I say this because if you keep putting everyone else first... You'll wear yourself out and those people will expect it from you and not give you the same support. Your "Friend" will get in a constant "Me Me Me" and YOU are left out.

There are going to be rumors and girls posting things just to get your panties in a wad- Ignore them. Ignore everything you hear from anyone- the news, family, friends, drama queens, anti-OPSEC followers and "Pretty little Liars" (We'll get to the pretty little liars anther day). Unless you hear it from the DOD, You're Ombudsman- or the like, or your husband... Take it with a grain of salt, or don't take it at all. Chances are- it's Horse shit.

My husband Does make me happy. However, I do not rely solely on him to make me happy. I rely on myself. Only YOU can make yourself truly happy.

I could keep going here. But I'm not out to write a whole chapter for a book.

I can't answer WHY exactly it's easier for me, or why I'm handling it so well.. other than I just am.

Christina, Do you love your husband? More than anything in this world.
 Are you cheating on your husband? That's a stupid question. My morals are far better than to stoop to that level. No, I'm not cheating on my husband and would never do so.

It's all about keeping your head up and just getting through it. I hear I'm "Too Positive". No, I'm just happy being ME. I get emails from my husband every now and then. Our communication skills are great- that's all I need to make it through this deployment. I don't have to hear from him every day. I know he's OK. If he wasn't- I'd hear about it! No news is good news. I don't get phone calls. I don't need them- and we like saving that extra money! He will call from port visits- Skype Mobile is free ;)
Because I don't get phonecalls all the time or expect email every day.. I appreciate when I do get email or a call from port. I know he's busy and who am I to get mad if he'd rather sleep for an extra 15-30 minutes instead of email me?

Now, I will admit. I have cried ONCE! and I was nothing to do with deployment! Ok, yes it had something to do with deployment,  just not my husband's deployment. I watched the movie "The Lost Valentine" with Betty White and Jennifer Love Hewitt the other day on CBS. Had I of not been affiliated with the Military in any way- I still would have Bawled! I don't know one person who didn't cry watching it. It was a great movie and I'm a sucker for sappy love stories.

I have another blog post in mind. It may be put up this week. We shall see- depends on how much free time I give myself.