Wednesday, February 2, 2011
When does this get hard?
I have always been told that the first month is the hardest- Well, January down and I'm still not affected. Why Am I not affected by this deployment, or yet to be affected? I'm betting noone can answer that better than myself because well, Hey- I think I know myself best ;)
I think because I mentally prepared myself, I am able to cope with him being gone easily. I refused to focus on the fact of deployment coming up and focused on my husband, myself, my marriage, packing his things and just enjoying the time I had left with him instead of looking at the negatives.
Before I met my husband and while we were dating I was completely independent. I had rent, bills 2 jobs- the works. I relied on noone BUT myself. I have yet to loose that about myself. If anything, my husband is the dependent one because I do everything to take care of him- Minus the real money intake.. he's got me bet there (for now!).
I keep myself busy- None stop until I get so tired I pass out. I do give myself days to be a couch potato as well. But I do things to keep my mood upbeat.
Staying Positive also helps too! I have not seen one negative person to deal with this deployment well. Negative is just that.. All around NEGATIVE. So, Smile!Take the negativity OUT of your life- THIS INCLUDES PEOPLE! Sometimes even your closest friends. It may suck at first, but in the long run, you will be better for it. You can't be drug down by other's constant negativity. It's one thing to have a bad day- Those are allowed. The constant negativity or people starting drama, friends starting fights for no reason other than to start drama- GET RID OF IT! Sometimes, You have to put yourself first. I say this because if you keep putting everyone else first... You'll wear yourself out and those people will expect it from you and not give you the same support. Your "Friend" will get in a constant "Me Me Me" and YOU are left out.
There are going to be rumors and girls posting things just to get your panties in a wad- Ignore them. Ignore everything you hear from anyone- the news, family, friends, drama queens, anti-OPSEC followers and "Pretty little Liars" (We'll get to the pretty little liars anther day). Unless you hear it from the DOD, You're Ombudsman- or the like, or your husband... Take it with a grain of salt, or don't take it at all. Chances are- it's Horse shit.
My husband Does make me happy. However, I do not rely solely on him to make me happy. I rely on myself. Only YOU can make yourself truly happy.
I could keep going here. But I'm not out to write a whole chapter for a book.
I can't answer WHY exactly it's easier for me, or why I'm handling it so well.. other than I just am.
Christina, Do you love your husband? More than anything in this world.
Are you cheating on your husband? That's a stupid question. My morals are far better than to stoop to that level. No, I'm not cheating on my husband and would never do so.
It's all about keeping your head up and just getting through it. I hear I'm "Too Positive". No, I'm just happy being ME. I get emails from my husband every now and then. Our communication skills are great- that's all I need to make it through this deployment. I don't have to hear from him every day. I know he's OK. If he wasn't- I'd hear about it! No news is good news. I don't get phone calls. I don't need them- and we like saving that extra money! He will call from port visits- Skype Mobile is free ;)
Because I don't get phonecalls all the time or expect email every day.. I appreciate when I do get email or a call from port. I know he's busy and who am I to get mad if he'd rather sleep for an extra 15-30 minutes instead of email me?
Now, I will admit. I have cried ONCE! and I was nothing to do with deployment! Ok, yes it had something to do with deployment, just not my husband's deployment. I watched the movie "The Lost Valentine" with Betty White and Jennifer Love Hewitt the other day on CBS. Had I of not been affiliated with the Military in any way- I still would have Bawled! I don't know one person who didn't cry watching it. It was a great movie and I'm a sucker for sappy love stories.
I have another blog post in mind. It may be put up this week. We shall see- depends on how much free time I give myself.