Congrats to A Mili SPOUSE Blogger!!

Brittany from My Life as a Sailor's Princess is OFFICIALLY a Military Spouse. She can now wear the "Proud Navy Wife" shirt that I designed for her ;)

Be sure to stop by her blog and congratulate her. :)
I'm super happy for you Brittany and Ryan!

What it means to be a Navy Wife

Flip Flops and Combat Boots has teamed up with Anchors Away Etsy shop to host a contest for Navy Significant others. This is the first contest I have entered, and am quite excited about it. Anchors Away offers some super cute items on her Etsy shop.. I can already tell it's going to get me in trouble with the husband.

The winner of the contest will win this awesome clutch bag!

To enter I have to tell Nicole and Marianna what it means to be a Navy Wife, and post the best picture of my husband and myself. This is a similar question I asked in the previous contest I hosted open to all Military Significant others. But I never posted what it means to ME to be a Military Wife/ Navy Wife. So this is a great opportunity for me to share that with all of you, my followers.. and hopefully winning the awesome clutch as well! ;)

Let me start off by telling you why I chose this picture. This picture was taken on December 19, 2008. The day I became a Navy wife, the day we started on a new journey.. a new adventure. Not knowing where it would take us, not knowing the people we would meet, the places we would see.. not knowing what the Military life had in store for us. It is the reason my blog is titled "Married to a Sailor: The Journey of a Navy Wife". This is my journey, my life.. and this is what it means to me:

I was brought up with Military in my family. Daddy Wade was in the Navy and out of the Navy before he met my mom. My great grandfather was also in the Navy. I grew up hearing an occasional story from my grandfather, always seeing pictures on his wall and it bringing a smile my face (by the way, he's around 90 and still sports a high and tight). Both my Aunt and Uncle were in the Airforce and retired from the Airforce, I loved hearing them talk about it. My cousin was in the Army, had been hurt in Iraq and was discharged. My brother joined the Airforce straight out of high school. Never realized how proud I could be of someone until the day I watched my brother leave for basic training. I always had a since of Patriotism, a lot of pride in our military. I had thought hard about joining myself, and had talked to several recruiters. Then I met my husband.

I never told my husband I was considering the military. We dated nearly a year and he started talking about joining the service. I honestly was a little scared. I didn't know where it would take our relationship. I was madly in love with him. He came to my house one day before we both had to go to work. He sat me down and asked me If I thought it was a good idea for him to join the Military. I was just his girlfriend. What do I say? It's not my decision. And that's what I told him. I grabbed his hand and said, "I support what ever decision you make. But I cannot make the decision for you. I am only your girlfriend and you cannot base your life decisions around me". He looked up at me and said, "This is about you. This is about us. I plan to marry you. This is your decision too." Talk about making you choke up! I knew we were serious, I knew I wanted to marry him.. but never saw that coming. We sat there and talked about it. The next day, he signed his name to the United states Navy. Three months later, he asked me to marry him. Two short months later, we were married. The next month, he left for Navy Boot Camp.

So, Back to the question. What does being a Navy Wife mean to me? 

• It means it's more important than ever to have good communication, and to rely on communication of the the physical aspects of a Civilian relationship. Living life through emails, and setting up Mobile email so no matter where you are, not missing the simple emails that just say "I love you and miss you so much", and your heart skip a beat as you read those words from your husband while he's out at sea.
• It means being strong, knowing you can handle the life of a Navy wife. You will hear the saying, "Only the Strong Survive", I believe it is the truth. If you don't believe you're strong enough for this, how can your husband?
• It means that every kiss feels like the first and never loosing those butterflies.
• It means adventure, taking risks and taking things as they come. Getting to see new places and experience different cultures.
• It means not planning anything, and learning to be spontaneous. If you don't make plans, you can't blame the Navy for breaking your plans. Just enjoying everything on a day to day basis.
• It means learning that you won't always be number one priority and when you have kids, they won't be either. Means smiling and even laughing when you hear "The Navy is my husband's mistress, and that bitch gets all the attention" because it's the truth.
• It means putting your big girl panties on and enjoying the ride. Yeah sure, things get tough, but it's all about how you take them and what you make of them. It's learning to see the positive in every situation. 
• It's having even more pride for the Navy and Military. It's a lot different than a brother, or Aunt/ Uncle being in... when it's your husband, You're apart of it.
• It means determining HOW you let the Navy defines you. You can say it doesn't define you, but you're ignoring it. In having Pride for your husband, in being patriotic, living this lifestyle.. it's already defining you. To me, I define myself as a Proud Navy Wife, married to an amazing man who IS a Sailor. Do I love him just because he is a Sailor? No. I would love him just as much if he was just a plumber. 
• It means staying positive, to keep yourself from getting depressed when he's away. 
• It means making some of the most unbreakable friendships imaginable. Finding others who understand without saying the emotions that come with the Job of being a Navy wife. 
• It means being in a position to help new Navy wives, giving advice and direction because we were all lost at one point and it's nice to have a helping hand.

It means so much to me, I could go on forever about what Being a Navy wife means to me, this is my life and my husband's life. My husband is career with the Navy. We have many years ahead of us. Why not enjoy it? You choose your own happiness.

I hope you Enjoyed my Entry. :)

Not keeping it bottled up

Seems like I have been posting less and less lately. There's been a lot going on, and somethings are better left unsaid.. well, better to not blog about.

I have been stressed to the MAX! So has the husband. His work schedule (not including the workups!), The move, Family visiting and a few other things.. has just really stressed us lately and has given us no breathing room, not to mention.. the hubby and I haven't gotten any time together. Guess that adds to the stress? Oh, not to mention I now know when they are deploying, found out the official (for now) deployment date. It's creeping up. I'm prepared, well.. as best as I can be.

I get jealous when the ship lets the guys off, and my friends get their husband for an extra day. Because my husband is "Essential Personnel", he doesn't get any days off that aren't his designated days off, not to mention he works 13hr shifts, night shift at that. It's draining. More so than the intense workup schedule that we have been undergoing since April. I know I shouldn't get jealous, it's the military... but I won't really get any time with my husband before deployment.

It's sad that I feel like I get to talk to him more when he's out to sea than when he's home. I see him for roughly one hour a day and that's while he's getting ready for work.  Yea sure, he does get 2 days off, but he sleeps practically the entire first day and the second he is still exhausted. I can't blame him for wanting to relax. Hell, if it were me working like he does, I would want to sleep every chance I got. At the same time that I understand.. I feel alone.9

I've gotten to the point where I feel like the kid who is always picked last for Kickball. If that was ever you growing up.. you know how bad that sucks. I'm a very patient person. And I know I'm a damn good wife. I am very understanding, but after a while.. it gets to me.
There's a little more to it than that, but I'm not going to get into it. Damnit, I just need some attention from my husband.

My husband and I have been trying for a baby for a few months now. It's been kept quiet, but If I talk about things, I feel better. My husband and I struggle in this department. What I mean by that is we have had several miscarriages since July of '08. One very recent. Another stress we've been facing. I've kinda come to grips with the recent one, but at the same time.. I find myself blaming myself. I know it's not my fault. But I think blaming yourself is the easiest way to accept it. I beat myself up thinking that my husband will not love me if I cannot give him a family. I know that's not true. I know he'll still love me. He actually wasn't sure he wanted kids until we found out we were pregnant in late June of '08. He got so excited. Seeing his face, the way he looked at me and rubbed my belly.. was the greatest thing I have ever felt or seen. Beginning of July '08 I miscarried. I found out I had been pregnant since April and had no clue it had been that long. I had just found out I was pregnant. I still think about that one all the time. I was about 3 months along. It's hard not to think about. I just keep telling myself that right now is not the right time for us. It will happen when it's supposed to. I'm going to be going to the doctor in the near future, so maybe I'll get some insight as to what's going on with my body. I haven't even told family we're trying for a baby. I guess I'll find out if any of my family reads my blog now.

I'm not depressed, although this isn't exactly the most positive blog post. I'm generally a very happy person. Not to say that I'm not happy right now, I'm just stressed. It happens to the best of us. I know that for me, it's best to let it all out and not keep it bottled up. It will only intensify the stress.

I would really like to thank Goodnight Moon for being totally awesome. She has been the one I feel like I can talk to about everything. I so wish she and I lived closer together!
Thank you to the couple other ladies I have talked briefly to as well.

Well, I'm going to leave this post as is. I'm going to post again later with some pics from my husband's family visiting. We finally got to meet our Nephew. He's a year old!
I've seen several ladies comment me wanting info for photo sessions. Shoot me an email at CRushGFX@yahoo.com, I've been away for a while and had a lot of comments and wasn't able to keep up! I apologize for this!

Military Spouse FREEBIE- MyCaa Books

I am not sure how many of you are familiar with MyCaa (Military One Source), but I'm going to post this anyways because I know there are several people who don't know about this. I had 4 friends email me this week alone to ask about it, so by posting this, I'm sure that at-least one person will learn something new.

First off, let me start off by saying I love MyCaa. And not just because of the $6,000 spouse grant you can get for schooling.

If you like to read, you're going to love this.


Did you know that MyCaa gives away 10 books a year of your choice (from the options they have) to military spouses every year? Yes, 10 free (even shipping!!) books every year!

It's quite awesome.

The books change regularly, Sometimes they may not have a lot that you are really interested in, but the next week they will have TONS. I have already had 6 or 7 sent to me this year. Mostly military related, but not always. They have a Fiction and Nonfiction section. in the Nonfiction they have a lot of self help books. Like things for stress, deployments, PTSD, money management, etc. (I recently got one, "What to expect when you're pregnant".. no, not pregnant.. I'll blog about that later.).

A few ladies and I were chatting about books the other day, and I was asked for some recommendations, I gave a few suggestions and then remembered MyCaa. Thought it would be a good idea to share with all of you. None of these ladies knew about it, so I was happy to help.

You do have to have an account with MyCaa. The website made me make a separate account from the spouse grant portion. If you're just searching the site for the free books, it's a pain to find and you may actually never find them. I honestly cannot remember how I got to them. I've known about it for almost 2 years now. {side note.. Wow, I've been married almost 2 years!! :D <- big cheesey smile}. So, I will also share links to the Fiction and Nonfiction books.

Remember, the book list will change often, so I don't suggest getting all 10 at once and having to wait until the next calendar year to get more... unless you see 10 you absolutely want. I know right now, Chicken Soup for the Military Wives Soul is currently on there. That's a must read in my opinion!

Ok, now for the links:

For fiction books:
https://www.militaryonesource.com/MOS/FindInformation/Category/Topic/Issue.aspx?IssueID=1288&TopicID=482&MaterialTypeGroupIDOpened=-1
(Like I stated earlier, they don't tend to have as many fiction books)

For Nonfiction books:
https://www.militaryonesource.com/MOS/FindInformation/Category/Topic/Issue.aspx?IssueID=1289&TopicID=482&MaterialTypeGroupIDOpened=-1


Ok, there's my post for today. :) Hope someone learned something new, and is as excited as I was when I first found them!

Even Superwoman has a Bad Day

Today was the day I finally allowed myself the chance to process that my husband was away. So, in other words.. today was a not so good day. I started this blog so others could see the ups and downs of my life. To see my Journey as a Navy Wife. Well, here's my first "down". I'm going to write this as if I was writing my husband, because he knows me best, and understands me more than anyone in this world. That being said, I will be able to express how I feel a little better and feel comfortable writing.

Dear Mr. Amazing (yes I really do call my husband this. He truly is.),

Today I got really bummed out when you didn't write. I got my hopes up for an email when I started to feel a little Blah. I had to remind myself that everything is ok. That I'm strong enough and it's ok to have days where I feel alone, that it's normal. I know you're not going to be able to email me every day. I just have to remind myself of that on the days it feels harder. I just have to think positive and not let negativity fill my head, because it will eat at me. I'm better now, I promise. I guess I was due for a little time to just let it out. I've been doing so well at just keeping busy and staying positive, I was bound to crack at some point. I know you love me, and that if you could you would email me or better yet call me if you could. I know you have only been gone a short time, but I didn't get the chance to process the fact that you were even leaving. That you weren't on a "Duty" day. That's what it felt like. Every day I have felt like you were going to come home the next morning. Even though I know you haven't had Duty in Months. I guess that's a good way to look at it, I wish I felt that way earlier so I wouldn't have almost broke down.
We both knew I had a day coming. And I really tried my best not to let it bother me, but this is the first time I have sat down long enough to let my mind wonder. I hope that by me writing you this, it will help me and also help you to understand that I am ok even on my "off" days. I want to be positive and supportive. I want to be understanding, and I know I am.. I just need a day to recollect myself I guess. I can't rely on an email to come to make me feel better. I have to rely on myself and our love, thoughts of you and of us to help keep my head up and be the best damn wife I can possibly be. I know we joke that I'm "Superwoman" or whatever. But I guess even Superwoman has a bad day every now and then. After all she is a woman.. and we both know that sometimes hormones get the best of any woman. I guess the constant going and staying busy has physically and mentally drained me. I guess at some point, you have to take a step back to think about things, let it out and pick up where you left off. Process the fact that you are away.. let it out, process.. process.. grasp the fact... pull yourself together and get moving. I almost felt sorry for myself. And oh boy, wouldn't that have been a complete blubbering mess. But luckily, I snapped back to reality. I think I needed the time to think about it.. get it out.. and then be able to realize I can't let it hold me back or make me feel sorry for myself. Well, now that we've had our little therapy session, I'm going to go back to packing now. Superwoman is moving in about 2 weeks and has only 1 room packed completely. 

Well, I hope I didn't loose anyone there.. I'm sure if this was actually going to be given to my husband it would have been full of mushy stuff and I love yous.. but I avoided all that so I wouldn't make you all sick (haha) and to prevent this from being a never ending post. Maybe someone will relate to how I feel. Even in my days that I don't feel strong enough, I still see the positive in myself. I just hope I never loose that.

Yes, I do really get called "Superwoman" and not just by my husband. I guess one day I will post about that. But for now, this is it.

Now time for the winners!

AND THE WINNERS ARE....(Drum-roll please)

My Life as a Sailors Princess

PRIZES:
-A blogger award from my blog. (one made by me for winning my competition)
-2 photo edits. (You send me a picture and I have fun with it) I use Photoshop CS3 for my edits. Large photos are required and will have to be sent to me via email. [email: CRushGFX@yahoo.com]
-Custom made Graphic
-A blogger button for your blog.
-be mentioned on my Blog :)

 Mrs. Muffins

PRIZES:
-1 photo edit. (You send me a picture and I have fun with it) I use Photoshop CS3 for my edits. Large photo is required and will have to be sent to me via email. [email: CRushGFX@yahoo.com]
-A blogger button for your blog.
-be mentioned on my Blog :)

 Goodnight Moon

PRIZES:
-A blogger button for your blog.
-be mentioned on my Blog :)

Complaint Department, Take a Number

Yesterday I got Really irritated. Okay, honestly I was beyond irritated. I was on the verge of being irate! Ha, just realized.. I have 2 blogs (this being the 2nd) where I am CLEARLY on a rant.. and they both deal with Facebook. Why am I on that site again?

Ok, so it wasn't Facebook directly, but it petty girls on Facebook. I just read Mrs. Gambizzle's Post and this blog is related to hers. We're on the same rant.. and about the same person. Well, actually mine's more than just that person, but that person triggered my reaction. Am I rambling? pssh.

My husband's ship recently left for another workup. This one is one of the long stretches. I decide to get on Facebook yesterday morning, ya know.. to kinda put me in a good mood and talk to some of my military wife friends. Just wanted some casual conversation and maybe make some plans. What do I see as soon as I get on there? A girl posting "I don't need to see people whining and bitching about their guys being gone" She kinda rambled on and mentioned that she had her own problems that "are NOT military related". She has also posted that people need to "Suck it up and get over it. You signed up for this". She's always such a negative person and always Complaining about people "Complaining". Another girl posted something like "So what, your husband's gone.. get over it.".. *raises eyebrow, gritting teeth*

Ok, I agree with the whole "you signed up for this, suck it up" thing. BUT in a totally different sense than she did. I DID sign up for this life when I married my husband. I "Suck it up" when I have a day that the Navy changes plans or something goes wrong, and I don't COMPLAIN. That's how I look at it. But, I IN NO WAY signed up to NOT miss him. No one did.

I kinda lashed out. I have yet to post that I miss my husband, but that doesn't mean I don't miss him, because I do.. Very much so. I think it's normal to miss your husband.. and honestly, If you don't... Something is very wrong with you or your relationship. Just my thoughts. Anyway, back to the point.. I lashed out. I posted:

"gets annoyed when girls "Complain" about other's who post and complain about their men being gone. Do you realize you are "Complaining" more? Seriously. Shut up. Atleast some of us miss our boys."

I went on to say "I do not think posting that missing your SO while he is gone is complaining. I would HOPE that everyone will miss their significant other while they are away.
*OPSEC violations are a different story*Besides that.. Why not be positive? Negative status updates can effect others mood. Be encouraging and be there for the person who is having a hard time with their loved one gone. Some people actually like having their husband around."

That status update ended up being a bit of a popular post. Several girls thought the same thing I did, but didn't say it. Some of them needed to hear, "It's ok, you're allowed to miss him".. encouragement. It's good for everyone. I like being a positive person. I actually pride myself in knowing I try not to bring negativity in my life (although, sometimes.. it happens.).

The girl who triggered my post ended up deleting her status. I assume that maybe I wasn't the only one who said something. I considered deleting her, but I would like to be able to get along with all "Big E" wives, although.. is that really possible? The reason I want to get along with all possible is because there will be a couple positions on the FRG board opening soon. The president of the FRG said I would be a great person to be on it. The FRG leader's are by vote. So, I need want to get along with everyone.

 So there.. That is my Rant. Weewh... I feel better. ha. 

Do you agree? Or did I over react?

50 followers = Competition time! (a little late!)

 CONTEST HAS COME TO AN END!!

Thank you to everyone who entered! I cannot wait to read every one of your posts! I never imagined so many people would get involved!

You can find a list of the entries at the bottom of this blog. 

Voting will begin shortly :)

I've decided to run a competition. Something simple. The winner will be up to a vote from my followers :). So everyone can be involved!

I wanted to do this when I hit 50 followers, but chaos happened in Tennessee and it was all I could think about. Was incredibly worried about my friends and family there. Now I'm at more than 70 followers, and am a little behind! Yikes! I had planned to do another competition when I reached 100 followers, but since I'm already creeping up on it.. it may be pushed off to 150, or I might do another small competition.

Since it's Military Spouse Appreciation Month, I want it to be about YOU!

For my Blogger Competition, here are the rules:
 1. I want you to post a blog. Yes, there's a catch.
You have to write about what being a military wife/ SO and what it means to you.

 2. Link my blog/ this competition in your post.

 3. Tell me the link to your blog! Post it as a comment in this blog post. (I need it for the voting ;) !) I will update this blog with Links to everyone's posts.

 4. Deadline is May 11 (11:59pm eastern time) and voting will start May 12 and end May 14 at 11:59pm eastern time. Voting will be as a poll that I will post in my blog. If anyone cheats and I find out, you will be disqualified.

Oh, almost forgot! PrIzEs! Who-Hoo!!
For now, the prizes are not physical. But In my opinion, and several others.. they are just as great!
Oh.. and I almost forgot.. there's a 1st, 2nd and 3rd place prize! Awesome right? Totally. ha

Will receive a blogger award from my blog. (one made by me for winning my competition)

2 photo edits. (You send me a picture and I have fun with it) I use Photoshop CS3 for my edits. Large photos are required and will have to be sent to me via email.

Custom made Graphic

A blogger button for your blog.

and be mentioned on my Blog :)

_____________________________________

Will receive 1 photo edit. (You send me a picture and I have fun with it) I use Photoshop CS3 for my edits. Large photos are required and will have to be sent to me via email.

A blogger button for your blog

And be mentioned on my blog!

_____________________________________

Will receive a blogger button

And be mentioned on my blog!

I know it's not much, but it's something fun. :)




CURRENT CONTEST ENTRIES:
Chantal's Blog

My explosive life... as an EOD tech's wife

The Life Of An ET's Wife

My Life as a Sailors Princess

Riding the Roller Coaster

Diary of a Navy WIfe

Dear Afghanistan, Be gentle on him

Deployment (again)

ACU's, Stilettos Shoes, and Pretty Pink Tutus

G.I. Joe's Wife

Goodnight Moon

Reflections of a Navy Wife

Mrs. Muffins

The Resors

Life and Times of a Displaced Jersey Girl

Navy Doll

The Voigt Story

Bellajo Photography

A Hapa Girl and her Hapa Family!

Lucky Dimes and Dog Tags

Confessions of a Sailor's Wife

Engaged to the Navy

Head in the game. Heart in the sand.


^^ That's all the Entries! Wowza! :D
I'm really enjoying your posts ladies! Setting up the Voting now! :D

Ship is on the Move

Lately there have been a lot of ins and outs with my hubby's ship. Aren't workups just fun?! {sarcasm, if you didn't get it.)

The USS Enterprise being pushed into the pier April 18, '10

So far, it hasn't been all that bad. The first time they went out for a week was a little rough. My husband's email had not been set up on the ship and obviously cellphones are prohibited (not like that would have mattered.. they are in a solid steel cage more than 50 miles out from land!).. so there was no contact. Thank God for other military wives who are always there. Several nights I stayed up chatting with other Enterprise wives until after 2 in the morning. There is truly no friendship that compares to the friends I have made in the almost 2 years my husband has been in the service. When he came home after that first workup.. I had a huge sense of pride and even more support for my husband. Watching that ship pull in, I smiled and I felt like like I had not seen my husband in months.

Flag at Half Mast for fallen Soldier

I know what you're thinking.. it was just a week! Well, this was our first, both mine and my husband's, first "workup", and the USS Enterprise's first outing in 2 years! So yeah, it's somewhat of a big deal! They got the old clunker running again! I felt so proud, and felt so Happy. Not happy that my husband will be away so much, but happy because this is what he likes doing. This is his career. Happy because my husband is starting to feel like he is going to make a difference and serve his Country. After all, that is why he joined the Military. He wanted to be apart of something bigger than himself and serve his country. And I support him and love him.

They have been in and out all month it seems. Started off with a fast cruise in the shipyards, to getting out and finally getting to play in the water a couple times. The guys are exhausted right now.  My husband just got a day off after more than 3 weeks of not having a day off. Hoping to catch up on some much wanted time with him before he leaves again.

 Met up with several girls to watch the boat pull in. We were there for 5 hours! (hence the reason my hair looked horrible!) But in the end, the wait, the bad hair, and having to pee so bad it hurt.. it was totally worth it.

My husband said he actually had fun out there. He said he worked his but off, but for some reason... he liked it. Which is GREAT because we have 18 more years of this. ;)

I hope you enjoyed the few pics I posted from the ones I took from the day they moved back to Norfolk. Everyone on Facebook seems to enjoy them. So, I figured you might too! :)

"It is well to read everything of something, and something of everything."

"It is well to read everything of something,
and something of everything."
~ Lord Henry P. Brougham ~

I have started somewhat of a collection of books.. Military Wife books. I am not much of a book reader. Just one of those things I typically get "into". But every since the start of my "Journey" as a Navy Wife, I have found something I get lost in reading. I have more than 10 books at the moment.. and more on the way. My own personal library, I guess you can say.

I have been asked several times what Military Wife books I recommend. I never thought to blog about it, but would it not be easier to blog about it and refer people to my blog to read what I think about the books I have? I think so. So, today, I am going to blog about my "Military Wife Library" (and maybe some that I plan to get). -I will link the title of the book to amazon.com where you can read more reviews and purchase the book if you would like.
 

The first Military Wife book I ever picked up was SOLO-OPS by Hilary Martin. I love the way this book is written. Hilary writes about her personal experiences allowing the reader to relate more to her point of view. She covers so much in her book from becoming a Military wife to deployment, to entering the civilian world again. She also makes it clear to keep an open mind and laugh at the situations your faced with, the importance of Humor with the Military. If a "SOLO-OPS" volume 2 was to be released, I would definitely be one of the first to purchase it. Also check out the forum SOLO-OPS. I met some great ladies when I was active in the forum. I'm involved with so many groups and forums now.. it's hard to keep up with all of them now.
 

MARRIED TO THE MILITARY by Meredith Leyva is the second military wife book I read. For the most part, I really enjoyed this book, and will recommend it. However, I did feel like it was a big advertisement for her website/ Forum CinC House. I learned quite a few things when reading this. For a New military wife, I think this book is a great read. If you are someone who has been "Married to the Military" for a little time now, you might get bored or find that it was all that helpful. Overall.. The book is an A+ read, if you're curious.. check it out. Be sure to check out the forum as well. I still visit the forum regularly. I have learned a lot from these ladies. And if you read some of the reviews on this book.. the forum isn't full of "Snotty, racist women". Everyone has been super nice and helpful to everyone I have seen on there.
 

The book I would recommend more than any other is Chicken Soup for the Military Wife's Soul. Full of encouraging stories, this book is Perfect for anyone who is in love with a Service member. Be sure to have a box of Tissue handy, as these stories will touch your heart! This book is a great reminder of why our Men do what they do and that we are not alone on this journey. This book is perfect to turn to when you are struggling with military life, deployments and more. I highly suggest this read, definitely a 5 star read.

If you can overlook a large abundance of grammatical and punctuation errors.. the book Military Wives 101  by Tynisa Gaines is an okay read. When I bought this book I didn't read anything about it. I judged it by the title and assumed it was a "Guide" to life as a military wife... little did I know it was a story. If you let this book determine what you think about military life, you will have an obscured view of what it really is and can be. For some reason I wanted to finish the book and did so. Something kept drawing me in, I was curious as to what would happen. If you decide to get this.. I wouldn't suggest paying more than $5 (including shipping!) for this book.
 

Medals Above My Heart is a quick read. If you are a religious person, this is a good little devotional for you. If you are not a spiritual person, this book may seem a little boring to you. The book is only 125 pages long and could easily be read in 1 day.
 

Navy Spouse's Guide (second edition) by Laura Hall Stavridis taught me quite a bit. However, it seems a bit dated. But I do believe it is a good read for all Navy wives, especially if you don't know much about the Navy.
 

A book I always keep handy is Today's Military Wife 5th Edition. From the break down of the LES to Deployments and Sponsoring a Family. This book has it all. Although it seemed a little "Text book" like for me. I just Read the chapters as I needed them or wanted them. There are newer versions available that I plan to get eventually.
 

If you are looking for something to make you smile, laugh and keep you wanting more.. I suggest Confessions of a Military Wife by Mollie Gross. I really hope Mollie writes another book. Mollie tells it how it is, and in the most hilarious way possible. She's extremely relateable too! I found myself thinking several times that I had been through similar situations. If you have deployment blues.. pick up a copy. "Laughter is the best medicine".
 

Help! I'm a Military Spouse (second edition) by Kathie Hightower & Holly Scherer did something that most military Spouse writers didn't.. they included Male military Spouse, not directly, but it's not a military "Wives" book. Kathie and Holly make a good combo, mixing seriousness and humor. The book is based on a workshop.. I wonder if they still offer it? I think I just might look that up later!
 

Another one of my personal favorites is The Homefront Club by Jacey Eckhart. She was an Airforce brat who ended up Marrying a Sailor. I found myself giggling a few times, smiling and really thinking about things with this book. I highly recommend it. I also recommend her audio CD These Boots, which you can get for free on Military One Source (title is linked).

A recent book I bought and am working my way through is Going Overboard by Sarah Smiley. So far I don't have an opinion on it, but I'm only a few pages in. She's honest, holds nothing back.. and It reads like a story. (I'll update this when I finish)

The last book that I currently own is The Long Road Home by Martha Raddatz. I have a feeling this is going to be a hard read. It's supposed to show some incite to what our men and women in uniform go through. I'm an emotional pansie.. We'll see how this goes. (Update will come when I finish the book).

This ends my list of books I currently have (not mentioning all the one's of my hubby's that I read too!).

I also plan to get:

Separated by Duty, United in Love

365 Deployment Days

Faith Deployed

Hope for the Home Front

Spouses Also Serve

The Complete Idiot's Guide to Life as a Military Spouse

Heroes at Home

I Love a Man in Uniform 

And that is the short list. I hope someone enjoyed this drawn out post. I will continue to update it as I get and read more books. I would also like to hear your feedback about books I have posted.. both the one's I have read and have yet to read.

Boot Camp Blues

I am writing this post because I know several ladies that have husbands who are leaving in a few months. Some are leaving to boot camp and some are  deploying.

I do not know what it's like going through a deployment. So, a deployment blog will come later. I do know what it's like leading up to boot camp and the during. Hopefully what I have to say will help someone who reads this.

I had a lot of anxiety leading up to the day Nick left for boot camp. I knew he would be safe during his time away, but I was going to be alone. I was a newlywed, and I was going to be without my husband for 9 weeks (he graduated in 7 weeks). Lots of questions running through my head and I had noone to answer them. When will he call? Will he write me? Will he stop loving me? Will he be different when he comes home? And so much more.

I tried not to show Nick that it was bothering me that he was leaving, after-all.. I supported his decision to join the Navy. We had just married, and I already depended on him so much. I needed him. He knew it was bothering me. He knows how to read me better than anyone I have ever met. But he understood. You see, he had some of the same anxiety as I did and more. People would say things like, "Your wife will find someone to replace you while you're gone". He trusted me and didn't believe the things that people would say, but it would cross his mind.. "What if?". He had some the same questions as I did. Will she write me? Will she stop loving me? Will things be different?  Hopefully I can clear up a few of these questions for you from what I know from my experiences.

When will he call? Nick called a few hours after he arrived at boot camp. He was not allowed to say anything more than, "Hey baby it's me. I made it. I love you so much. Tell  mom and dad I made it. I gotta go now, bye.".
I had been carrying 2 phones with me all evening. I didn't want to miss a call. I knew his plane should have arrived Great Lakes around 6pm. I waited. 7pm came, no call. 830pm, nothing. 10pm and I still had not heard from him. I was beginning to wonder if they would let him call. I laid in our bed with two phones on my pillow just waiting. I couldn't sleep. 12:01am one of the phone's ring. I snatch it up real fast, hoping it was him. "Hello?".. "Hey baby...".
I was unsure how long it would be before he would get to call again. Just 2 days later he called again. This time he got to talk for about 7 minutes. He was rewarded for doing something good and he was able to call. He told me a little about what he had been doing. I could tell he was smiling the whole time, I'm sure he could tell I was too. It was a couple weeks later before he called again, and I missed the call. I was at work and I just had this sinking feeling I had missed a call. I checked my phone, I had missed his call. Yes, I cried. It was the worst feeling ever. Luckily he was able to call his mom and he got to talk to her for 15 minutes. Nick was able to call the next week because they had lost some paperwork about me, if they didn't get it, I would not be able to get TriCare. Lucky for us the lady handling his file was nice and let him barrow her cell phone to sneak me a call to fix it. She let him call 3 times on her cell phone in 2 weeks because every fax we sent wasn't coming out clear enough. I expected him to call on Thanksgiving day, but he never did. So, don't get your hopes up, you will feel crushed if you do. I didn't get another phone call from him until the week of graduation to tell me about the ceremony and weekend liberty. He called again the day before Graduation when we were on our way to Great Lakes, this is when he will forsure know about weekend liberty, his schedule, flights, etc. They had changed some things from what he had told us earlier in the week.

Will he/she write me? I received my first letter from him in about a week. It was actually just a 2 page printout that told a little about boot camp, what you can and cannot send, etc. On the very last page, they gave him two lines to write a message. That message made my heart flutter in a good way. It was my first note from him. After that, I received a letter from him every Wednesday. He said he was only allowed to write on Sundays. Sometimes he would write me in the dark, or while he was waiting to iron his uniform.
I started writing Nick just two days after he had been at boot camp. His recruiter had stopped by and had gave me his address to start writing him. I would write him every single day. It was something I would look forward to doing. It would make me feel better. He said he would read my letters every night. He looked forward to getting them. He said the letters meant so much to him.

Will he/she stop loving me? In our case, it made us closer. Our relationship felt like we had just started dating again. you could just tell by looking at us that the love that was already there was stronger. It hadn't been broken. I personally don't believe it is possible to fall out of love with someone, but sometimes anxiety will make you question everything.

Will he be different? More than likely, yes. Nick was different in ways. He was still the same man I married and loved so much, but he was a Sailor now. He had grown up so much during those weeks. He will be more patient with some things and impatient with others. He will have a lot more Pride than when he left.
You will be different too. You will find that you are more patient and You have grown up more yourself.

As far as the whole cheating thing. I never cheated on my husband. People will talk and start rumors. They are just that. Rumors. I had a girl say she saw me at the mall all over some guy on Thanksgiving day. 1.The only guy I had been to the mall with the entire time Nick was away was my younger brother and 2. I had to work on Thanksgiving day and when I left work I went straight to my grandmother's house. People who are unhappy obviously just want to bring you to their level. Just ignore them.

One thing as a military wife you will learn is to be INndependent. You have to learn that you can't rely on him to be there to take care of you. You have to depend on yourself.

Leading up to him leaving, focus on spending time with him. Enjoy the time you have with him before he leaves. Try not to focus on him leaving. If you make the thought of him leaving your main focus, you will not enjoy the time you have with him or be grateful for it.
While he's gone, Keep yourself busy. Try new things and write to him about your experiences. Start a new book, join a gym, start a blog.. There are so many things you can do to help pass the time. You will have days that you just want to cry. I know all about them. I remember a couple nights where I would lay in bed, read his letters and just boo-hoo.Write him as much as possible. Keep him updated on everything, but stay positive. Leave all negativity out. He doesn't need that. Staying positive will help the both of you make it through this stepping stone in to the Journey of being a Military Family.

Blame Yourself

I posted this on Facebook over the weekend.. and it caught a lot of heat. But these are my thoughts, you don't have to agree with me.

Sometimes I read something that just irritates me. Best Remedy= Blogging.

I have a question for Military wives. If you married your husband KNOWING he was in the military or KNOWING he was going to enlist.. and you complain about him always being gone, or how you want him to get out of the military so bad.. blah blah blah.. WHY DID YOU MARRY HIM? (I'm talking about the girls who constantly change their status to "It's Complicated" and back again.. and status' that they are leaving, etc.) It's normal to let deployments get you down, and even duty days every now and then, but missing someone is different then being irrational and negative about it.

This is how I feel   (photographer: Ernie Passwaters, model: me)

It makes me mad because YOU KNEW WHAT YOU WERE GETTING IN TO. And a lot of the girls I see complaining about it, their husbands are in the Military as a career. I see Military Wives who constantly argue with their husbands, blamming them for all the problems in their relationship, blamming the military. They post negative status updates about their relationship for everyone to see, BUT when someone says something about it.. They get offended and tell people to "Stay the hell out of their business". YOU made it public news, YOU wanted attention. YOU are selfish and need to look at your situation and re-evaluate the problem. MAYBE you are part of the problem and YOU need to grow up.

Girls that throw it in their husbands face about how he missed an anniversary all because he joined the "Damn Military". Or even worse, Making him feel horrible because They weren't there for the doctor's visit to hear the baby's heart beat for the first time. Or because they couldn't be there for the birth of their child. Do you not think they don't want to be there? I know it hurts them not to be there. Situations like this are so sad.

 Another thing that bothers me is when Military wives just pack up and move home, just because they don't like their husband's duty station. Home is what you make it. If you don't like where you are living, it's because you've made it that way. I understand the one's who move home while their husband is deployed, I'm not talking about you ladies. I love my husband, and I want to be wherever he is when I can. My husband is my best friend.. and that's the way it should be.
You all know who you are. YOU are selfish.

I know I've probably angered a few military wives out there, but I honestly do not care that I upset you. This is what I believe. I happen to love being around my husband and spending as much time as possible with him. And he agrees with me on this. I love that he and I share the same views on almost everything.

Just to clear things up, This note isn't about any one person in particular. I just say what I think when something triggers me to do so. It's just my personality.

 Tootles.

The start of my Journey as a Navy Wife

It is officially 2010. The past year, 2009, was full of challenges, but look at me. I'm still standing. When you are 22 you think you are grown up. You think you have fully matured. But you are wrong. The year 2009 has shown me that.

September 27, 2008. Our wedding day

In October of 2008, my husband left for boot camp after he and I had only been married a month (Married September 27, 2008). It was a tough time. I never let my phone leave my side. I didn't want to miss a call from him. I ran to the mail-box every Wednesday, that's when his letters would arrive. They say letters keep the our men in uniforms strong and keep them going while in boot camp or deployed, but every wife I have talked to that waited while their man in uniform was away has said how much the letters helped them. They kept us strong. Never knowing when he would get to call, expecting to hear from him on Thanksgiving day.. and the phone never ringing. I wrote him every single day, It was like therapy for me.I looked forward to writing him. In December of '08, it was finally time for him to graduate. It was a long ride from Nashville to Great Lakes, but the excitement and knowing I was going to feel his arms around me after all that time, was worth it. I thought to myself, "Our life together is finally starting.". But I would soon find out, the Navy had it's own plans.

December 19, 2008. Boot Camp Graduation day.

January of 2009 had started. I was with my Sailor. I only had a few more days before he had to report back to NAS Pensacola for A-School. January 4 was the day we had to say our goodbyes once again. He was set to graduate February 19. This made me happy. My birthday is February 20, and I thought I would get to spend it with him. After he had been in Pensacola for 2 weeks, he still had not started his schooling, His rate had been put on hold. February came, I went for a weekend visit. Still school had not started. March was another visit to see him, school had not started. Another visit in April and they finally told him he would start school. I was excited. I went for my last visit to Pensacola in May. He would be home soon. May 29 he called. I wished him a Happy Birthday. He then said, "I have some good news and some bad. Which do you want first?" I said I wanted the bad news, but he just gave it all to me at the same time. "The good news is, I graduated today. The bad news is.. I was going to surprise you and come home today, But they mixed up our tickets with another class and we are stuck here until Monday.". My heart sank... But he would be home soon! I didn't even know he would be graduating that day. He didn't tell me because he wanted to surprise me when he showed up at the front door. The following Monday came and they handed out tickets. Nick stood there ticket-less and they said "Who are you?". Nick told them, and they were confused. They had lost his service records. Nick graduated the top of his class and received the accelerated advancement, but none of that mattered right then. He was a nobody, and he couldn't come home until they found his file. Nick was there for over a week longer before they finally found his service records and arranged him a flight home. He told me a bogus date though and one day I was sitting at the computer talking to a friend I felt cold hands cover my eyes. I jumped out of my seat. My Nicholas was home, and we had orders to Virginia.

Last Trip to Pensacola May 2009

Nick's sponsor had told him a bunch of wrong and useless information. Everything he had told him about me coming down, to housing, BAH, everything.. was wrong. Nick left for Virginia and I was stuck in Nashville waiting. Nick was having to take classes in Portsmouth at the ship yards, and didn't have time to take the Movers class they were requiring before the military movers would come pack up your stuff. So we decided we would do it on our own. We were tired of waiting. I drove 13 hours to Virginia to apartment hunt. Every area I went to seemed like a bad neighborhood. We finally found an apartment. I liked it, Nick liked it. We signed the lease, Now we just had to get our things from Tennessee. I went back to Tennessee and packed all of our things. My parents borrowed a trailer and helped me move everything. I was finally with my husband. This was the end of June.

Finally in Virginia together

We have got to spend so much time together since then. We have been finally getting the chance to adjust to married life and on top of that the challenge of being married and being a military spouse. We attended our first command picnic. There was so many people there! Made me smile to see everyone come together like that and have all the activities they had going on. We went to the Jason Aldean concert at Little Creek and had a blast! We drove 7 hours to Bristol one weekend with a friend, it was a blast. We dressed up as Joker and Mrs. Batman for Halloween and handed out candy to the kids. One kid said Batman looks good as a woman. He was about 7 years old. It made my night. We cooked a big dinner for Thanksgiving and we invited the guys from the ship that couldn't go home. Sadly only one guy got to come because the ones that couldn't go home had duty, but we have decided to do it every year that their ship is not on Cruise. Christmas came and we got leave approved to go home. It was the first time we had seen our family in months. We came back to Virginia with 2 days of his leave left to spend it together and relax. He had duty on New Years day, but we stayed up and watched the ball drop together and get our midnight kiss.

October 31, 2009. Joker and Mrs. Batman

 I have met some amazing ladies. No one truly understands like military wives. I have yet to face a deployment, but I know that when that time comes I will have amazing military wives to fall back on and I am here for them to fall back on as well. All of my experiences have made me a better person. It has made my love for my husband grow so much stronger, which I did not think was possible because I thought noone could love anyone anymore than I loved him. I am so much more patient now. I know to expect anything and worrying all the time gets you nowhere. I have learned that being negative about the military gets you nowhere. This is his job. He chose this life for us. I support him and I support our Military. This rollarcoaster is an experience you will either love or hate, but it's your choice. Life is what you make of it. Why not make the best of it?

I know that 2010 will be full of challenges. I have overcome a lot in 2009 and I look forward to the challenges of 2010. I know I'm strong enough to get through whatever it may throw my way.

“You were only given this life because you are strong enough to live it.”