Monday, January 4, 2010

Blame Yourself

I posted this on Facebook over the weekend.. and it caught a lot of heat. But these are my thoughts, you don't have to agree with me.

Sometimes I read something that just irritates me. Best Remedy= Blogging.

I have a question for Military wives. If you married your husband KNOWING he was in the military or KNOWING he was going to enlist.. and you complain about him always being gone, or how you want him to get out of the military so bad.. blah blah blah.. WHY DID YOU MARRY HIM? (I'm talking about the girls who constantly change their status to "It's Complicated" and back again.. and status' that they are leaving, etc.) It's normal to let deployments get you down, and even duty days every now and then, but missing someone is different then being irrational and negative about it.
This is how I feel   (photographer: Ernie Passwaters, model: me)
It makes me mad because YOU KNEW WHAT YOU WERE GETTING IN TO. And a lot of the girls I see complaining about it, their husbands are in the Military as a career. I see Military Wives who constantly argue with their husbands, blamming them for all the problems in their relationship, blamming the military. They post negative status updates about their relationship for everyone to see, BUT when someone says something about it.. They get offended and tell people to "Stay the hell out of their business". YOU made it public news, YOU wanted attention. YOU are selfish and need to look at your situation and re-evaluate the problem. MAYBE you are part of the problem and YOU need to grow up.

Girls that throw it in their husbands face about how he missed an anniversary all because he joined the "Damn Military". Or even worse, Making him feel horrible because They weren't there for the doctor's visit to hear the baby's heart beat for the first time. Or because they couldn't be there for the birth of their child. Do you not think they don't want to be there? I know it hurts them not to be there. Situations like this are so sad.

Another thing that bothers me is when Military wives just pack up and move home, just because they don't like their husband's duty station. Home is what you make it. If you don't like where you are living, it's because you've made it that way. I understand the one's who move home while their husband is deployed, I'm not talking about you ladies. I love my husband, and I want to be wherever he is when I can. My husband is my best friend.. and that's the way it should be.
You all know who you are. YOU are selfish.

I know I've probably angered a few military wives out there, but I honestly do not care that I upset you. This is what I believe. I happen to love being around my husband and spending as much time as possible with him. And he agrees with me on this. I love that he and I share the same views on almost everything.

Just to clear things up, This note isn't about any one person in particular. I just say what I think when something triggers me to do so. It's just my personality.



  1. I agree Christina. I had the advantage of growing up as a military brat. We moved my entire life for my dad's career. My fiance got deployed 4 months after we started dating. While I knew it was going to happen, I just didn't expect it to happen so soon. But, we're going strong. We email every day and talk every week and he'll be home in March. I'm a firm believer of home is where the military sends you.

    I love your blog btw. I found in on facebook on the navy wives page. :-) I'm looking forward to more!

  2. Thank you for reading my blog :D

    I'm glad to see someone agrees with me. I posted this on Facebook, and wow... who knew so many people would actually get offended by this!

    Thank you again!

  3. I think that a lot of people just need some place to put all the blame of their frustrations that their husband/boyfriend IS gone a lot of the time. The military is the obvious choice. It doesn't make it right, but it is a reality that I know I'm guilty of. I've said that I "hate" the Navy for stationing my boyfriend across the country. He lets me rant, let's me breathe, then tells me that I knew he was a sailor when I met him, and that this is the life he wants to live. By this time all my frustrations have been spewed out, and I agree. So while actively blaming the military for all the problems in a relationship is wrong, I don't think that we can always stop ourselves from blaming, at least some of the time!

    Ps. I found this blog on the Navy Wives Girlfriends Fiancee's group on Facebook too!

  4. I have to agree with you to an extent. Now if someone posts they are angry with their spouse,boyfriend,fiance,etc.because they are gone for a birthday,anniversary,etc. because the military sent them away I think that is being upset for someone just doing their job and thats wrong. However, I think there is nothing wrong with getting angry,upset or irritated with some of the stressors of being a military wife such as missing holidays, anniversarys, birth of a child etc. because that is a normal response. I just dont think you should be mad at the person serving their country.
    I am a navy wife and have been through 2 deployments and my husband just got home from his 2nd deployment and was back for a month and was sent to Haiti. We only had 3 hours for him to pack and say good bye. He has been gone a month and I don't know when he will be back. I was mad,very mad.Not at my husband but the Navy because I just got my husband back. But I got over it and am coping as always. I have 2 children and my husband has missed all my sons birthdays (all 4) and the birth of our daughter as well as most of our wedding anniversaries (married almost 6 years). However, I never blame my husband even when he tells me its all his fault. I tell him I am proud him and will always be state side waiting for him because I love him dearly.

  5. Hey - LOL you dont know me and vice versa lol but I came across your blog via the "Opsec" stuff from the FB group of WA state Navy wives - (I used to be one lol and still have friends who are!) Anyway - I wanted to let you know I agree with MANY of the statements you make and I applaud you for being one of the straight up supportive wives!!! There are good and bad on both sides of military marriage - and while mine did not work out - I have GREAT respect for service members and their families! Kudos to you!!! ^5's and all kinds of good karma!!!

  6. I love this post and as a future Army Wife and I completely and fully agree with you! :) It is women like us who rock this world. :)
    Thanks for being awesome!