A Turning Point

Today, What I have thought for about a week or so now has become even more apparent. The person I should have listened to- I didn't. The one I should NOT have listened to.. I did. Today, was a bit of an eye opener for me. And I'm not upset, really.. I am so very thankful. I'm glad to say that this is a new chapter for me on my "Journey as a Navy Wife".

This is a more personal blog post than some.. maybe even most.

When you find out a close friend is a Pathological liar.. and is the root cause for several good friendships to go sour, you really begin to reevaluate those of which you want to surround yourself with. Especially during deployment. Sometimes, like in my case, it takes time (lots) of time to realize what the cause is or was. You don't want to see the bad when you're close to someone and you trust that person. You trust them.. so you believe what they say. Mental note: Don't trust everything.

A couple months before deployment, my husband said "I don't think that person is a good friend for you. She seems to stir up shit.". He was on the outside looking in. He saw it all- I however, took up for my friend. Now, he's able to say, "I told you so.". I should have listened to him, because he is and was in this situation, a very smart man. Now, I see all too clearly what he saw a bit of then.

This IS my fault. I allowed myself to be susceptible to it, to the lies I was being fed. I didn't doubt that person- I believed them. Now, knowing the issue, I am making a change. This is an eye opener for me and maybe, just maybe some of those friendship's I lost due to my ignorance in believing someone else's petty bullshit lies.. will be rekindled. Maybe not all hope is lost.

I hope all the drama goes away because the drama is beyond annoying and I can't stand it. It's not my drama and I want no part in it or to be associated with it. I'm merely guilty by association at this point.. Now, I'm running from it... from this person.

And again, I am to blame because I allowed it. I gave in to it. I allowed myself to get on that level and believe what I was told.

Now, all that is left to do from this situation: Learn from it. Don't let it happen again, and hopefully.. Just maybe I can work on those lost friendships.

Ready to Run

I use to think when wives moved home that sometimes it was because they couldn't handle it, "it" being Deployment. I didn't think that about everyone, I know there are some that move home to save money or personal reasons- I can't say I blame anyone there.

Lately, I find myself thinking "I should have moved home". Not because I can't handle deployment- I'm still A-OK in how the actual deployment is affecting me. However, I am starting to see in a way how things with deployment are affecting me... and It's not my problems with deployment, it's other's problems with deployment that are getting to me.

Oh yes- Constant negativity. This is where I say "Stay away from Facebook!". And I would love to do so, but I have a lot of business with my photography and my graphics that I get questions about on FB via my personal page and my fan pages as well.

It is constant. Wives getting mad and upset because they haven't heard from their husband. People starting rumors about the ship and also putting it into other's heads that their husbands are out cheating on them because they don't hear from their husband in some way.. and on and on and on..

What people aren't realizing or are failing to acknowledge is these men and woman have a job to do. No amount of whining,  or keeping a piss and vinegar attitude is going to change the fact that their life revolves around their job- it's a choice they made and Yes.. YOU made that choice too when you chose to be with him (or her).

Anyway, every day I see more negative posts, more drama between wives and it's beyond annoying. I know I have myself to blame because A. I still use Facebook  B. I have made friends with so many people that when there is a problem I hear about it constantly- I just want to hit the pause button or yell TIME OUT!

Bitches get Catty! There, I said it.

My husband says I'm "Too Nice" because I like being supportive, and try to be to the best of my ability. However, I also believe that in order to get support- you need to be selfless at times and give support back. I Can't give and give constantly. I'm not a pushover but I will go out of my way when someone needs something, but there will come a point where I feel taken advantage of- especially if that person can't respect the face that I want a day to sit on my booty and eat Cheetos all day while playing around in my graphics program. I like "ME" time. That's an issue for me- people being too needy and getting upset and causing drama when you respectfully request a day to do for yourself. I don't need those people, don't want those people in my life.

I'm just rambling here- but I think you get the gist of what I'm saying.
Deployment really shows who is independent, who is in between and those who can't function alone.

I started P90X again this week and Tomorrow I'm Ready to start running every day. Running helps me clear my head and to relax. In those cases where I see something that makes me want to say "WTF!?" or pushes me to a point where I want to say something I probably shouldn't... Running will ease all that built up energy and agression.

I'm so Ready to run.

Come join me and "Fart Rainbows"

Over the past couple days, I have learned something about myself. Okay, Well, I have learned what a few other negative individuals -Think- about myself. As I shared with a friend.. It makes me giggle.

Here's what I now know about myself:

• Because I blog positively about the Navy and the military lifestyle, I am fake and am not blogging about how I truly feel about it. *giggles*
• Because I haven't went through a deployment, I need to keep my mouth shut because I don't know what to expect. *giggles*
• Deployment will change my positivity. 
• I have only been a Navy wife for two years, I don't know anything about the military lifestyle. *Ha!
• I haven't been through anything tough due to being in the military lifestyle. *t'hahaha
• Because I'm Positive, and enjoy this lifestyle I go around telling people to "Suck it up". *hmmm
• Evidently I'm "Too Proud" of my husband and the Military.
• Because I carry the attitude that You signed up for this, and that You didn't have to stick with your SO if you carry so much hatred in your words toward the military.. that this grants the thought that I should be punched in the face
• That evidently I think having emotions and missing your SO is wrong and being negative.
• Thinking that "Any time is better than No time" is a bad view point- *I think this is where the "Suck it up" was pulled from.
• I'm going to need Xanax because of my faulty optimism. 
• I "Sh*t Glitter and Fart Rainbows"

I could keep going here. Oh the hilarity.

I blog positively. Why? Because that is who I am. I'm a positive person. I don't like negativity. AND I don't see anything negative about being a Navy wife.. or just being a military Family. I Like.. LOVE this lifestyle. My husband and I chose this for US. We chose it... as in Me and him sat down and made the decision TOGETHER. Even if he made the decision before me... I would have chose to stick through it all.. making the military life MY decision. Since when did being an honest person make someone fake?

What is there to know about a deployment? What is the difference from these workups that my husband has been on for months for more than a month at a time? NOTHING BUT TIME. Yeah, sure the risks are there with his safety and I may worry a little more than with just an underway. We won't talk any less than we do on these underways. So don't tell me to shut my mouth when I already have a pretty good idea of What to expect. Bring it on Deployment! I'm not scared of you! ;)

Deployment will not change who I am. I am me.. The military doesn't have an affect on that.. You don't have an affect on the person that I am. So, Mrs. "Deployment is the Devil".. Try me. Again, Not scared of Deployment. :D

Just because a wife has only been "Married to the Military" for less than a "Veteran" wife.. doesn't mean she's any less knowledgeable. That's been put out there so clearly to me. Kind of like saying just because you're older means you're more mature. hmm.. I've educated myself on anything and everything I can read about the military. Yes the Physical emotions the separation of deployment brings.. I have yet to feel.. But I know what to expect. I've learned plenty in my two years as a wife, and also growing up surrounded by a military family. And yes, I have done a PCS on my own.. I have had my car break down while my husband is away.. I've had more than 3 miscarriages without my husband here to comfort me. I could go on.. I never said it was easy, You just won't see me saying anything Negative about the Navy. The Navy did nothing to me... even with extended underways, schedule changes, seeing my husband for just 1 hour a day.. I'm not complaining. I'm thankful for that 1 hour! I have no control, neither does my husband. It's his job.. WE made this lifestyle for us. :)

I don't tell anyone to "Suck It Up". I simply say Handle it... Not just military related. ANY situation.. Handle it. It's HOW you handle it that makes you either a positive person or a Debbie Downer/ Complainer/ extremely negative person. There is a positive in EVERY situation. All depends on how you view it. I choose to be positive. 18 months without my husband.. I sure as heck will be grateful for 3 days over no time at all. Would WISH there was more time, but wouldn't complain that the [Branch of service] screwed us over.

Is is possible to be too proud of your Significant other? I mean really.. My husband LOVES that I support him with every breath of my body. My husband is Glad that I am such a positive person and know that I make my own happiness. He is proud that when he's away for 40 days to 9 months to 13 months that I am still smiling.. happy, and being his support. My husband would be highly upset if I was too down his job in any way.

Do you think Positivity grants the thought that someone would want to punch me in the face? It makes me laugh. Which cheek do you want? ;)

I sure as hell hope that every single person misses their significant other while they are away. Being in a constant positive state of being does NOT mean that you don't miss your SO... or that this lifestyle doesn't have it's challenges. Life is about challenges.. Military or NOT. It's about how you handle them.. (I feel like I'm on repeat here.). Missing someone.. showing your emotions doesn't necessarily mean you're being negative... Even when you're angry.. You can still be positive and act mature about it.

Obviously I'm not the one in need of the Xanax.. I think the person with so much hate and negativity could use it. I think it could help mellow you out. ;) So, continue to be jealous that I have a positive stand point on life.

I love the fact that someone thinks that I must poop glitter and fart rainbows. Seriously, I do love that.. it wasn't sarcasm. It was meant in a derogatory manor.. But ya know what. I know a bunch of ladies, a bunch of my readers who stand right there with me.. all of us "Farting Rainbows".. It's quiet pretty. Maybe you should join us. It takes a lot of talent to be this darn awesome. ;D

Sincerely,
The Navy Wife Blogger that has the Attitude of June Cleaver.

Drinking on The Job

I'm blogging about this while a conversation is going on on Facebook... This on is about sending our SO's things we shouldn't when it comes to deployment. Some of you may not agree with me on this, but that is fine. We are all entitled to our own opinions. However,  for those of you who disagree with me.. I'm appalled that you think it's alright. Ok, to the point.  By the way.. this is going to be a long post... so grab some popcorn.

Conversation came up about things you can't send to our boys while they are on Deployment. Things got heated. Especially for me in the end.

Someone brought up how you are not supposed to send tobacco products (dip, cigarettes, etc). Then wives got to talking about ways to sneak them.
Although, I think it's silly we are not supposed to send them these things, they have set these rules for a reason, whether it be stupid or not.. they are there. And if you break the rules and send your husband these things.. You risk getting him in trouble.
This isn't the part I got heated about. Even though I do think it's stupid to send these.

Like tobacco products, ALCOHOL is NOT ALLOWED! This is NO WAY is okay to send! There was a girl talking about how she would hide alcohol in packages to send to her husband while he was away on Deployment. I thought this was completely stupid. However, I did say "I don't think it's good for us to send them anything that breaks the rules. That is my opinion. Is it really worth the risk of getting them in trouble? It's not worth it. My husband dips, and enjoys an occasional drink. I will not send ANYTHING that will get him in trouble. You send him something that is "Not Allowed" and he gets caught.. he's the one who gets in trouble and it will show in his service records.I don't know about other branches, but with the Navy, it will reflect badly on his evals and could cause him to loose out on a promotion." Then things start to get heated.

A few others posted similar to what I said, some being a little more blunt in saying how stupid they thought it was. Then a comment that started the "Battle". (her spelling errors were left untouched)

"im sorry but for what our men do i think they deserve a sip or two or a hit or two off a smokeor a bottle. Sometimes its nice. Think about this. A high stress situation u miss your family your hot your tired and just something to make you forget for a split second what ever it may be wouldnt you want that? I think its unfair to critisize what these women have to done just because it makes their husbands happy for a little shot bottle of whiskey or a pack of smokes. Thats not fair to tell them they are in the wrong. For what our spouses do is hard. "

This rubbed me the wrong way, but I kept my composer as best as possible. My reply:
"It's ok for them to want to relax, but doing something to impair one's judgment while in a war zone, where they are fighting alongside other mean in women.. isn't the way to do it. This is their job.. and if you have a job and you are caught "Drinking on the job" do you not get fired? Yes, you do!
So, why does it make it ok for someone who is "Working".. and working with a Gun alright to drink?"

There were several other comments from other  ladies as well. But I'm not going to post them all.. there are tons. But all on the same side as I am.

Her Reply to me: "@ christina i feel sorry for you." <- That irritated me even more. She also went on to tell me I needed to "chill", That it wasn't a big deal. She went on to say things about how it doesn't affect others.. etc.

My reply: "You feel sorry for me? Because I would like to keep my husband and the men and women he serves with safe?"

Some girls who agree with me posted : "Ok I'm about to get rude........[girl's name]..... SERIOUSLY?? That was over the line. You are simply being given reasons why our opinions is that it is NOT a good idea. I pray to God that my husband is not working with someone who's wife is sending him alcohol because THERE'S A REASON THEY AREN'T SUPPOSED TO HAVE IT. It is a major safety issue for 1. YOUR spouse for 2. everyone around him. Are the risks of sending contraband seriously worth a court martial, dishonorable discharge, or DEATH?"

The girl who thinks it's ok to send it never replied to anyone BUT me. saying
"Worry about you and yours and not what some one else does. Its not your spouse and their spouse isnt deployed with yours. Worry about keeping you and yours safe not some one else. Its like you're trying to tell some one else how to raise thier kid."

A few other comments from others:
"wow acohol ? seriously ? yeah hey lets be irresponsable and send some soldiers who are in war, carry weapons and can get attacked by surprise some alc ! yay ! so when they are drunk ( which btw goes against regulations fyi) they wont be able to be 100% there for when one of those attacks happen , endangering not only themselfs but theire entire .unit....yeah definatly a good idea....btw im case no one noticed i was being sarcastic."

"uve got to understand where we are coming from, what if for some reason their tolerance isnt as high as it was before they left and u send alcohol thinking oh its ok....well think would u want to get a call saying ur soldiers been wounded badly or killed...or even find out ur best friends husband got killed because urs wasnt paying attention to ... have their back...thats why people are getting upset. would u want another wife to send it and urs get killed because they send it to their hubby??? u know u would, anybody would"

"Alcohol & guns are just a bad mixture... thats common sense."

"btw [girl's name who thinks it's ok]....just wondering, since you agree with them drinking while in a very very indeed stressful time, do you agree with them just taking a hit or two of a joint ? same thing right ? illegal just the same while deployed than a joint, so do you agree with a drunk and or high soldier to carry a gun around?"

"i think the cigs thing is ridiculous, yes. but smoking cigs doesn't impair the soldier's actions. alcohol(even a small amount) will. like one person previously stated u wouldnt drink on the job would u? well our soldiers are on the job 24/7 while they are deployed. for those of you who think i'm overreacting, well think what u want. i'm so glad the wives where i am at wouldn't ever think of being so stupid."

"call me overreacting if you want. but my husbands life and therefore my FAMILIES well being relies on every other soldier in his unit. so ONE wife sending booze affects every other wives potentially. im NOT saying you are a bad person. i AM saying you made a poor choice and still apparently dont see the issue with it. how BAD would you feel if the next time you sent booze an incident occurred and your hubby and one of his battle buddies were injured? there is a lifelong guilt trip right there"

Then the girl posted this: (the part that set me off-the highlighted parts)
"sorry drama ladies my hsuabdn isnt a soldier. Mine floats around so yes i do agree if my husband gets a shot or two! It has nothing to do with me i think of my husband first. If he asks for a pack of cigs and i cant send them but they are legal then there is something up. See its different because ... my husband doesnt walkk around with a gun instead he plays with real toys. So of course im not worried!! " 

My Reply: "[girl's name], Now I'm pissed. MY husband is in the Navy as well. He doesn't just "FLOAT AROUND" My husband works his ass off, and My husband carries a gun ON THE SHIP. So yes, YOU could be affecting MY HUSBAND directly by the stupidity of what you are doing." 

Another girl to the "Ok with Alcohol" girl:
"Wow.....so because he's on a boat you think he's safe? Sure they would have liked to have known that during Pearl Harbor. Sure hope that ship never gets called to back up an important mission." 

Me to the girl above: "I agree. And every ship can affect other ships.. their schedule, their ports.. everything." 

 I left it at that. Now going back to that thread. Am I wrong to be heated? What is your opinion on Sending your SO alcohol when you KNOW it's not allowed?

Rumors

What you don't see with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth.

I hate rumors. They just start unnecessary drama. Who wants that? I surely don't.

Why do people start fictitious rumors, or just say things that aren't true?

Ok, there's a reason I'm asking this. I'll get to it.

Evidently there are "Rumors" going about that I will be the first wife to cheat on my husband when deployment comes. I guess they made a bet? Supposedly this was started by the guys in my husband's old division. My husband heard about it from me, I heard about it from a friend who heard if from an friend whose husband told her and is in my husband's old division. Did I confuse you? If so, reread it... it'll catch on.

I know, and my husband know that it's not true. I guess that is all that truly matters. However, it bother's me because I pride myself in being different. I pride myself in having morals. I pride myself in knowing that I love my husband and he is the only one that I want for the rest of my life. I don't dress slutty, I don't throw myself out there, I don't flirt with other guys.. I really don't talk to other guys except for my brother or an occasional text or phone call from a guy I've known since I was 8-9 years old and is considered my brother.. AND HE'S MARRIED! 

I have been avoiding blogging about it... but deployment is creeping up, and it likes to pop back in my head. It bothers me because I don't know why someone would think that of me. I don't really know why all of a sudden I care what someone thinks about me.. This is just something that really just hurt my feelings. I think it's because some of the guys that supposedly said it.. or "Bet" that I'd be the one to cheat are supposed to be my husband's friends and guys that we have hungout with together, and I considered them my friends as well. 

It will not happen. I will prove all you bastards wrong. I love my husband. I love our Marriage and everything we have going for our future. 

It's just that.. a petty high school rumor. For all I know, it could be nothing. Just someone starting more high school drama.

I feel better now.