Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Drinking on The Job

I'm blogging about this while a conversation is going on on Facebook... This on is about sending our SO's things we shouldn't when it comes to deployment. Some of you may not agree with me on this, but that is fine. We are all entitled to our own opinions. However,  for those of you who disagree with me.. I'm appalled that you think it's alright. Ok, to the point.  By the way.. this is going to be a long post... so grab some popcorn.

Conversation came up about things you can't send to our boys while they are on Deployment. Things got heated. Especially for me in the end.

Someone brought up how you are not supposed to send tobacco products (dip, cigarettes, etc). Then wives got to talking about ways to sneak them.
Although, I think it's silly we are not supposed to send them these things, they have set these rules for a reason, whether it be stupid or not.. they are there. And if you break the rules and send your husband these things.. You risk getting him in trouble.
This isn't the part I got heated about. Even though I do think it's stupid to send these.

Like tobacco products, ALCOHOL is NOT ALLOWED! This is NO WAY is okay to send! There was a girl talking about how she would hide alcohol in packages to send to her husband while he was away on Deployment. I thought this was completely stupid. However, I did say "I don't think it's good for us to send them anything that breaks the rules. That is my opinion. Is it really worth the risk of getting them in trouble? It's not worth it. My husband dips, and enjoys an occasional drink. I will not send ANYTHING that will get him in trouble. You send him something that is "Not Allowed" and he gets caught.. he's the one who gets in trouble and it will show in his service records.I don't know about other branches, but with the Navy, it will reflect badly on his evals and could cause him to loose out on a promotion." Then things start to get heated.

A few others posted similar to what I said, some being a little more blunt in saying how stupid they thought it was. Then a comment that started the "Battle". (her spelling errors were left untouched)

"im sorry but for what our men do i think they deserve a sip or two or a hit or two off a smokeor a bottle. Sometimes its nice. Think about this. A high stress situation u miss your family your hot your tired and just something to make you forget for a split second what ever it may be wouldnt you want that? I think its unfair to critisize what these women have to done just because it makes their husbands happy for a little shot bottle of whiskey or a pack of smokes. Thats not fair to tell them they are in the wrong. For what our spouses do is hard. "

This rubbed me the wrong way, but I kept my composer as best as possible. My reply:
"It's ok for them to want to relax, but doing something to impair one's judgment while in a war zone, where they are fighting alongside other mean in women.. isn't the way to do it. This is their job.. and if you have a job and you are caught "Drinking on the job" do you not get fired? Yes, you do!
So, why does it make it ok for someone who is "Working".. and working with a Gun alright to drink?"

There were several other comments from other  ladies as well. But I'm not going to post them all.. there are tons. But all on the same side as I am.

Her Reply to me: "@ christina i feel sorry for you." <- That irritated me even more. She also went on to tell me I needed to "chill", That it wasn't a big deal. She went on to say things about how it doesn't affect others.. etc.

My reply: "You feel sorry for me? Because I would like to keep my husband and the men and women he serves with safe?"

Some girls who agree with me posted : "Ok I'm about to get rude........[girl's name]..... SERIOUSLY?? That was over the line. You are simply being given reasons why our opinions is that it is NOT a good idea. I pray to God that my husband is not working with someone who's wife is sending him alcohol because THERE'S A REASON THEY AREN'T SUPPOSED TO HAVE IT. It is a major safety issue for 1. YOUR spouse for 2. everyone around him. Are the risks of sending contraband seriously worth a court martial, dishonorable discharge, or DEATH?"

The girl who thinks it's ok to send it never replied to anyone BUT me. saying
"Worry about you and yours and not what some one else does. Its not your spouse and their spouse isnt deployed with yours. Worry about keeping you and yours safe not some one else. Its like you're trying to tell some one else how to raise thier kid."

A few other comments from others:
"wow acohol ? seriously ? yeah hey lets be irresponsable and send some soldiers who are in war, carry weapons and can get attacked by surprise some alc ! yay ! so when they are drunk ( which btw goes against regulations fyi) they wont be able to be 100% there for when one of those attacks happen , endangering not only themselfs but theire entire .unit....yeah definatly a good idea....btw im case no one noticed i was being sarcastic."

"uve got to understand where we are coming from, what if for some reason their tolerance isnt as high as it was before they left and u send alcohol thinking oh its ok....well think would u want to get a call saying ur soldiers been wounded badly or killed...or even find out ur best friends husband got killed because urs wasnt paying attention to ... have their back...thats why people are getting upset. would u want another wife to send it and urs get killed because they send it to their hubby??? u know u would, anybody would"

"Alcohol & guns are just a bad mixture... thats common sense."

"btw [girl's name who thinks it's ok]....just wondering, since you agree with them drinking while in a very very indeed stressful time, do you agree with them just taking a hit or two of a joint ? same thing right ? illegal just the same while deployed than a joint, so do you agree with a drunk and or high soldier to carry a gun around?"

"i think the cigs thing is ridiculous, yes. but smoking cigs doesn't impair the soldier's actions. alcohol(even a small amount) will. like one person previously stated u wouldnt drink on the job would u? well our soldiers are on the job 24/7 while they are deployed. for those of you who think i'm overreacting, well think what u want. i'm so glad the wives where i am at wouldn't ever think of being so stupid."

"call me overreacting if you want. but my husbands life and therefore my FAMILIES well being relies on every other soldier in his unit. so ONE wife sending booze affects every other wives potentially. im NOT saying you are a bad person. i AM saying you made a poor choice and still apparently dont see the issue with it. how BAD would you feel if the next time you sent booze an incident occurred and your hubby and one of his battle buddies were injured? there is a lifelong guilt trip right there"

Then the girl posted this: (the part that set me off-the highlighted parts)
"sorry drama ladies my hsuabdn isnt a soldier. Mine floats around so yes i do agree if my husband gets a shot or two! It has nothing to do with me i think of my husband first. If he asks for a pack of cigs and i cant send them but they are legal then there is something up. See its different because ... my husband doesnt walkk around with a gun instead he plays with real toys. So of course im not worried!! " 

My Reply: "[girl's name], Now I'm pissed. MY husband is in the Navy as well. He doesn't just "FLOAT AROUND" My husband works his ass off, and My husband carries a gun ON THE SHIP. So yes, YOU could be affecting MY HUSBAND directly by the stupidity of what you are doing.

Another girl to the "Ok with Alcohol" girl:
" because he's on a boat you think he's safe? Sure they would have liked to have known that during Pearl Harbor. Sure hope that ship never gets called to back up an important mission." 

Me to the girl above: "I agree. And every ship can affect other ships.. their schedule, their ports.. everything." 

 I left it at that. Now going back to that thread. Am I wrong to be heated? What is your opinion on Sending your SO alcohol when you KNOW it's not allowed?


  1. i think crazy girl was probably taking a 'shot or two' herself while having that conversation. :)

  2. I think I was on that thread for one hot minute and I totally take back what I said. I wasn't aware they could get in trouble so cigs :\ Guess I am still learning stuff. Strange how you think you know! I figured if they got caught with it the stuff would just get thrown out. BTW I agree 100 percent that there should be absolutely NO DRINKING on the job ESP what our soldiers/sailors/marines are doing out there!!! By the way, I want you to know, I actually read this WHOLE post lol. :)

  3. so i jus wanted to say i def agree w. you all the way. that's so krazy to even comprehend that someone whose committed to someone in the military would even think its ok to have that stuff around when they're on the job. Obviouly that chick has no respect for anyone else or even acts like she cares about how it would effect everyone including herself in the long run.

  4. I completely agree with your beliefs on this issue! Drinking is not okay when you are in an environment that could be extremely dangerous to yourself and others around you. The more we learn to help take care of each other, the safer the world is going to be. So instead of thinking about themselves and their spouses they need to think about everyone else who could potentially be affected by their decision.

  5. It is in no way shape, form or fashion ok to send our boys alcohol while deployed. That puts them at risk for getting in trouble or possibly KILLING another soldier, sailor, airman or marine because of their lack of disrespect for the rules. Not to mention that we all know alcohol impairs every sense a human has. That is unacceptable and I hope to God customs gets ahold of one of her packages one day and throws it away. There is a reason that stuff is not allowed to be shipped through the postal system! I really wonder what the f- is wrong with spouses sometimes. *smh*

    but as for cigarettes, I am fairly sure those are allowed to be send through the USPS and I know Army is allowed to smoke while deployed (not sure about the other branches) but even if the command has put out they aren't allowed to have them - then the spouses need not send them.

  6. I have seen so much Facebook drama like this over the past few's insane!

  7. Wow.. that is really all I can say. I am so glad I was not apart of that conversation because I would have been pissed. How can someone even justify it being okay to send alcohol to a deployed service

  8. I've been in similar situations on facebook with navy wives where drama ensues BIG time! I'm not sure your husbands status, but mine in the Medical Admin Officer aboard a ship. He's been in 8 years. I often find the girls like the one you were dealing with to be young [18-22], and not military wives too long!

    I read the whole post: and WOW... my hubs "floats around" too, but he does so much more, and he is one of the ones who has to go to Captain's Mast or whatever to decide if you [husband getting contraband] should stay in or be discharged. From what he says it's a hard task. I wish these young girls would learn not to have to put him in that situation, or worse, send more guys to Medical overf STUPID things!

    I agree with you 100%, but never would have maintained my composure as well as you did!

  9. Wow! I really had to pick my jaw up off the floor when I read this!

    My husband is a soldier on a boat and I couldn't imagine sending anything of the like to him; nor would I react kindly if I found out one of the other spouses was sending their soldier stuff.

  10. Wow...that's crazy. I've never been a rule-breaker and hubs and I don't drink or smoke so that wouldn't be a question for us. However, I would be upset if I found out the guys he was deployed and working with were under the influence of any substance. Scary!

  11. I am utterly speechless (almost) after reading your post...and the FB chatter from the twit wife of a sailor. That my friends is called ignorant...young - probably not even 20 (her language skills don not reflect maturity)- and foolish in thinking (1) a gun is not a real toy and (2) Her Man..who floats around all day - would be better served if he had "cigs" and a "shot".

    I would've love to have been on your FB for that conversation in real time!

  12. One thing I'm seeing, the more military wives I meet, is that there are those who RESPECT rules, and those who just don't.

    Rules & regulations are the primary difference between most military jobs and their civilian counterparts - RULES, like them or not, are what make the military what if is!

    So, for a mil spouse to embrace the lifestyle, she/he must also accept all of those rules. The wives who are rule-breakers are the ones who give the rest of us a bad name, and it PISSES ME OFF to know that those little twits are endangering my husband!

    These are the same type of women who make it so hard to use our POA during deployment....because enough of them have abused that privilege, that now companies don't trust the legitimate ones. Those same rule-breaking women make it harder for honest wives to get a new I.D. Card, or add a child to the DEERS system, etc because they commit fraud, figuring they "are not hurting anyone".

    Gah! Now I'm mad.

  13. You're not wrong to stand firm on this topic and your integrity, which clearly that woman completely lacks. The rules are there for a reason. Besides, even if I did get creative and decide to be sneaky and break the rules, which I wouldn't, I know my husband is a man of integrity and he'd probably send it back :)

    Anyway, lies have a way of revealing their own truths in time, and her dangerous dishonesty will come back to bite her and her husband in the booty soon enough.

  14. I agree.
    impaired judgement is a no-no

  15. I actually started reading that thread last night before I went to bed, but it must of been before all that heated stuff happened. I'll have to go back and read it now.

    That would piss the FREAK out of me!!!! I am so fired up right now, my blood pressure is boiling for you, and for every other wife that thinks it is OK to send OUR military alcohol. Cigs..dip..fine, that is okay, but alcohol...H3LL NO!!!!!! You can obviously tell that she is an idiot. She doesn't think about her husband well being, or that of his fellow sailors...There is soooo much to even touch on this subject matter. She is wrong wrong wrong...and it is so sad that she thinks that because he is stressed out, that it is okay to send him something that would impair his judgement. If something where to happen to my husband because another Marine was drinking....I would NEVER forgive that Marine, or the person that sent him the alcohol.

    Seriously...they can drink ALL they want once they are home, but this is their job. They signed up for it, stress and all. Deal with it!

    Sorry...I need to calm down. I am so mad!!!!! I'm going to go check out the thread now!

  16. I 100% agree with you. Especially about the alcohol, it's never okay to send any contraband (whether it's a "stupid rule" or not) and they should never EVER drink alcohol or do any illicit drugs while on the job (or ever). Sailors, airmen, soldiers, marines and coasties alike.

  17. I do think certain places allow cigarettes and others don't.

    Regardless, NONE of them allow alcohol. I think it's asinine that someone would think it's OK to send that stuff. What's worse, she's implying that he NEEDS that in order to relax. That's even scarier.

    They can work out, go for a run, read a book. In many places, they have access to internet and movies and basketball courts. (Of course, I'm more familiar with Army posts, but I know the Navy has some of these things too.) All of these things are stress-relievers that are healthy and safe.

    Her insults about the Navy are ridiculous. Being on a ship isn't free from danger, stress or even severe complications. She's obviously closed-minded and not worth any further discussion.

  18. Someone needs to knock some common sense into that girl. maybe with a 2x4? I agree with you. You don't GET downtime in a war zone. thats why its a WAR zone. Not vacation. She should at least respect the fact OUR husbands fight for the right for her stupidity. There is NO WAY I'd leave her on my facebook. ridiculous. a;though my mom always said keep your friends close and your enemies closer.

  19. That's insane. Absolutely insane.

  20. WOW! There are already 19 comments so I'm sure that what I'm about to say has already some what been said:
    I agree with you 100%! Cops have high stress jobs as well, you don't see them (the GOOD ones) nockin back a few 40s before a shift. What about fire fighters? Both these jobs are VERY high stress.
    Also to what she said about "it would be like telling some one how to raise their kids" People are told everyday how to raise their kids. It's called CPS! If you break the law while raising your children you are labeled a BAD PARENT. Sometimes your rights to raise them are taken away. Same for being irresponsible while fighting a war.
    I mean how bad do they need a drink they can't wait until they are back home. You would think it would be like a reward for working so hard.

  21. Well for one. It is illegal to send alcohol via postal services ANYWAY.

    If they were allowed to have alcohol, like my man can in S.Korea, then okay. (But I would still be nervous to sent it post anyhow!).

    You are not allowed to work and drink PERIOD. That is how I think.

    I was pretty heated just during what you had posted. This person had to have been drunk while replying or something. Those spelling errors really erked me!

    I agree with you 100%.

  22. Yikes! My sister-in-law sent my brother-in-law alcohol in empty scope bottles while he was in Iraq. He got caught and demoted. He lost his rank for it! I have to agree with you. Even if one person is taking 1 or 2 sips it can seriously impair your judgment and screw everyone.

  23. wrong wrong and wrong.

    I completely agree with you- its interesting the things people are willing to risk their careers for. A shot of Jack Daniels? I think not.