When You're Gone

To my husband,

When you're gone, I sleep in the middle of the bed, only to still somehow get pushed off by our beast of a dog.

When you're gone, I buy organic milk because I don't waste it due to not being able drink it before it expires.
I also like organic better, and you do not. So when you're gone, I enjoy drinking and cooking with Organic milk.

When you're gone, I eat Mexican food multiple times a month. You hate it, I love it and when you're gone, it's the only chance I get to have it.

When you're gone, I can keep our house clean(er). You're a slob. When you're gone, I no longer have a million pair of socks thrown everywhere.

When you're gone, I sleep with the TV on- with no volume. You know I'm scared of the dark (sigh) when I'm alone... but I'm a light sleeper when it comes to sound.

When you're gone, I eat more fast food. I guess that explains why I didn't lose any weight last deployment.

When you're gone, I create a project list too long to complete by the time you come home and get extremely frustrated with myself because I don't complete everything.

When you're gone, the house stays very quiet. All the noise heard is my pecking away at this keyboard or me occasionally singing at the top of my lungs to Pandora or iheart radio. Be glad you're not here for that.

When you're gone, we save money. You really do spend a lot! >.<

When you're gone, the bed stays cold. You say I'm a furnace.. but I wake up shivering instead of sweating when you're not here.

When you're gone, it's crazy how big I smile when my phone dings saying I have an email. Or feeling the excitement leave when the email isn't from you.

When you're gone, time flies because I keep so busy.

When you're gone, I miss when you have nightmares, not that I like when you have nightmares.. I just miss how you reach for me like I'm your teddy-bear. It's still heartwarming to hear you write to me to say you had a nightmare and reached for me, but sad to think you ended up with your rack curtain instead.

When you're gone, of course I miss you- but sometimes it's nice regaining my independence. Sometimes we don't realize how much we rely on someone until they are gone.

When you're gone, a lot of things change. But there's always one thing that stays the same: Me loving you more and more every day, and appreciating all you do for me. I couldn't ask for a better husband- even with the quirky little things you do that sometimes push my buttons, I wouldn't have you any other way.

You're my one and only.

Operation Underway: Completed; Next Mission: Deployment

My husband's ship has been undergoing many underways since the month of April preparing for deployment. Anywhere from 2 days to 45 days at a time, the underways have been continuous, every month, sometimes more than once a month to more than a month at a time.

I did not have any times where I broke down because of him being underway. Yeah sure, I missed him while he was away.. but I never let him being gone get the best of me. I faced challenges while he was gone, but those challenges would have been thrown at me in ordinary civilian life. Any times where I felt as if I was going to "Lose it" cannot be attributed to anything with the Navy.

Did I think it was hard? Eh, Yes and no. Missing him did sometimes make the underways tough... maybe not so much missing him- but the constant adjusting and readjusting on top of his port schedule. By the time I had adjusted to him being gone, I was waiting on the pier to bring him home- and vice versa. There were several times that I hadn't completely adjusted to him being gone and he'd come home. I wouldn't be adjusted to him being home and he'd leave again. It was a constant "gotta do this, get ready for this",  over and over and over. But now, We are at the end of the strenuous training schedule and now reality is setting in. Buckle up- It's time for Deployment.

I continually compare things I have went through in the Military family lifestyle with past military adventures. I have to say, A-school still gets the prize for being the most challenging. Bootcamp was tough- many tears and really learning to adjust and be on my own again... But A-school, I will take bootcamp and another million underways before I would choose to go through the challenges my husband and I went through as a married couple.

Bootcamp, PCSing without my husband, being away from family, constant underway schedule- I will gladly go through again and again, but you can keep the A-school ;).
(p.s. I wrote a post on A-school early in my blog)

I have been told that Deployment will be easier in many ways compared to the underway schedule. During a deployment- I will actually get to fully adjust to him being gone- which by the way, I'm actually excited about adjusting to a schedule! Although, I'd much rather adjust to a schedule with him home... I'm looking forward to being able to plan things again. I know I will probably worry about a bit more during deployment.. but I know that I will not keep me from living every day life. No use worrying constantly and making yourself miserable.

I have so much planned during deployment.. I'm actually excited for my husband to leave and come home to see all I accomplish while he's away. He says he's excited to leave and come home for me to see all the muscle he is going to put on from working out- we shall see about the muscle ;).. he's got to get away from those darn 3 Musketeers! He's not a big guy.. my husband is a little guy.. well, average I'd say now. Since April, he has gained 30 pounds. While every other guy on the USS Enterprise has lost tons of weight from the horrible food- not to mention food poisoning, my husband GAINED weight.. oh yes, $100 a month in 3 Musketeers will do that to you. I really don't have anything else to say about that, just a little laugh about it... It's definitely NOT normal haha.

I plan to write a post later this week on things I have learned in general and things I have learned about myself from these underway periods. Might just to that tomorrow. We shall see ;)

So now I say: Dear Deployment, Bring it On!

The Enemy is listening..

Today I'm revisiting a topic I am very passionate about, one that I feel noone takes as serious as they should. I posted about this shortly after starting my blog, but I'm deleting that post and going into more detail. I have studied OPSEC since the day I became a Navy wife. I have read so many Official postings on OPSEC and have been to a briefing on it as well. So, With all things considered.. I would consider myself to be well educated when it comes to OPSEC. I will do a PERSEC post another day.. betcha I scare a few of you with it too. I have scared a few friends when I talk about it. ;)

First off, What is OPSEC?

OPSEC means Operational Security. OPSEC is the process of denying potential adversaries any information about capabilities and/or intentions by identifying, controlling, and protecting generally unclassified evidence of the planning and execution of sensitive activities.

Something Everyone should understand-
Although some information may not be secret, it can be what we call “critical information.” Critical information deals with specific facts about military intentions, capabilities, operations or activities. If the Enemy knew detailed information, the service member's mission accomplishment and personnel safety could be jeopardized. By being a member of the military family, YOU will often know some bits of critical information. Do Not discuss them in public and with persons who are not immediate family or affiliated with the military- Only people you trust and who practice OPSEC.

• Where and how you discuss this information is just as important as with whom you discuss it. Adverse agents tasked with collecting information frequently visit some of the same stores, clubs, recreational areas, or places of worship as you do.

• Determined individuals can easily collect data from cordless and cell phones, and even baby monitors, using inexpensive receivers available from local electronics stores.

Some information you may think is insignificant, However.. Paired with someone else's "Insignificant" information, it can be puzzled together and the full picture put together. Puzzle pieces ARE a violation of OPSEC.

What not to talk or post about:

• Do not post deployment dates or redeployment dates.
• Do not post Training dates such as Ship Underways
• Do not post homecoming dates- this includes training/ underway homecomings
• Do not Post R&R dates- Arrival or Departure.
• Do not discuss Locations, Keep it on a "Country" basis Such as Afghanistan. Navy Ladies, Don't discuss what country the ships are porting in at all.
• Do not discuss convoy routes (“we traveled through XYZ on our way to ZXY”) 
• Do not discuss detailed information on the mission, capabilities or morale of a unit  or command.
• Do not discuss details concerning security procedures, response times, tactics
• Do not discuss equipment or lack there of.
• Do not talk about or speculate about future operations or movements. This would include a ship changing ports Stateside. (i.e. a specific carrier moving from Norfolk to Mayport)
• Do not post countdowns or time frames, same for count-ups. Counting down is giving the exact date. Counting up from the day he left is a puzzle piece. While you may not be giving exact information, Put with someone eles's percentage or estimate.. you give it away.
• Do not post pictures of your SO with obvious landmarks that can give away his or her location. 
• Do not pass on Rumors.. (i.e. "I heard the dates changed")
• Do not post percentages- Some feel this is ok, but it is also a puzzle piece. If you pair it with someone else's puzzle piece/ Violation- it can be figured out. You post that you are 50% done.. and someone posts he's been gone 90 days.. You then have a date/ timeframe.

I think you get the idea. 

If you refuse to follow these guidelines, you are putting YOUR service member at great risk. Not only are you putting yours in greater danger- You are putting every service member in their unit/ command/ ship.. etc at risk.

By not following these rules you are potentially getting your service member in trouble. I know a few ladies who got there husband put on restriction and stripped of their crow (they lost rank) because they couldn't wouldn't adhere to OPSEC. I have also met a girl on Myspace who refused to listen to numerous people when they told her not to post dates of her boyfriend's deployment. By not listening, she caused his group's deployment to be extended by a few months.

Remember, no matter your affiliation, status, rank or age- you have a part in the security of your loved one!

"Olive Juice" ily

 You'll understand the title- (no, I don't like juice from olives- gag) Keep reading.. [or study the image to the left]
Have I mentioned how much I Love my husband? I know I have, but the words in my blog no where near capture the feelings I have for the amazing man I married 2 years ago.

The past 2 weeks were just what we needed. When I didn't think it was possible to fall in love with him any more than I already had- He proves me wrong time and time again. Every time I think, "It's not possible to be any happier than I am at this very moment".. again, He'll prove me wrong. I love it. The leave he took for us to spend time together was so amazing.

Yes, This is one of those sappy, mushy, YOUDISGUSTMEBECAUSEYOURSOINLOVE blogs. :D <-there's that big cheesey smile again. Get use to it ;)

It's the little things he does that make me smile so much.. and still gives me butterflies. My last text from him after taking him to the pier for yet another underway said "Olive Juice". Some of you may or may not know what I'm talking about.. or may think I'm crazy, so let me explain:

I don't know what it's called.... Similar to a "Homophone".. but not exactly. I was told once it was considered a "Homophene" but I can't find any validity to it... Ok.. When you mouth "olive juice" to someone across a room, it looks like you're saying "I love you". Ya got me? My husband and I sometimes do this, except I say "Elephant Shoe". We did this a little when we first started dating, and then it faded away. Over the past 2 weeks, it somehow popped back up in our relationship. I'd say "Elephant Shoe" and he'd reply with "Olive Juice".. we'd actually speak it instead of mouthing it.. but who cares. Sometimes he'd throw in a "I want to Vacuum"... which is something that looks totally different than "I Love You"... go mouth that one in the mirror ;) or mouth it to your SO- ha.

"Olive Juice"- Made my day, even though I was letting him go for a short time with his ship- not that I had much choice :p.

It's the little things <3

"While You're Away" Contest (150 followers!!)

Had this all typed out and then My computer died. The cat unplugged the charge cord and I wasn't paying any attention. So, here we go again.. 2 days later haha :p

It's that time again!!

I have been planning this for a while.. as far as prizes that is. The hubby and I thought of the Question you have to answer to be in the contest a couple days ago.

As most of you know, my husband has been undergoing a strenuous underway schedule and we are currently preparing for the dreaded "Big D" in the Near Future. While my husband is away, I have a playlist on my ipod titled "While you're Away" that I listen over and over. I currently have about 100 songs on my playlist.

I was going to post my playlist, but I decided to have a little more fun with it first, and get my readers involved!
I know you're wondering where I'm getting to with this.. so here we go!

I want to know your playlist! Yea, there's a little more to it. Let's just get to the Rules!

Contest Entry Rules:
1. I want you to post a blog listing your top 5 songs that you listen to most while you're significant other is away. That's not all...  I want you to tell me why you chose each song and why they have meaning to you!
2. Post a link to my blog or this contest post IN YOUR BLOG POST.
3. Post a link to Your contest entry post as a comment in this Blog post.
4. You are allowed to pimp out the contest.. but DO NOT post for them to just vote for you. The point of this is to have people read your post, and others as well. Saying, "I entered the "while you're away" contest, please read my post and vote for me", Is OK. Simply saying, "Vote for my blog".. eh, not so much. You should link them to your post and if they choose to vote for you, they can find my blog to vote by the link you post in your blog post. If I see people just saying "Vote for me" and not linking their blog.. I will drop you from the contest. I want this to be a fair vote!
5. Contest starts Now! Contest will end Monday, July 5 2010 night at 1159pm eastern time. Voting will be set up Tuesday, July 6, 2010 after the contest ends, voting will cease at 1159pm on July 12, 2010.

When you post your submission, Your link will be posted at the bottom of this blog post.

Now for the prizes! :)

1st place:
- Custom Blogger template (Header, Background, Button, signature & Coding) OR Custom made Tshirt from CRushGFX
-1 photo edit. (You send me a picture and I have fun with it) I use Photoshop CS3 for my edits. Large photo is required and will have to be sent to me via email. [email: CRushGFX@yahoo.com]
-A blogger award from my blog. (one made by me for winning my competition)
-be mentioned on my Blog :)

2nd place:
- Custom Graphic or Blogger Button
--1 photo edit. (You send me a picture and I have fun with it) I use Photoshop CS3 for my edits. Large photo is required and will have to be sent to me via email. [email: CRushGFX@yahoo.com]
-be mentioned on my Blog :) 


3rd place:
- Custom Graphic or Blogger Button
-be mentioned on my Blog :)


There you have it! Hope this contest is just as successful as my last one. :)

P.S. Check out the group on Facebook a couple friends and I created called While You're Away for everyone who goes through periods of time without their significant other to share music, books, quotes and blogs that help you while he's away.


Time for the Entries!

Gaile- Another Deployment
Life as an MP's Wife-My Top 5 Songs For This Deployment
the Somarribas- while you're away contest
As The Crow Flies- While You're Away
My Life as a Sailor's Princess- Oh Em Gee! Another contest! I want, want, WANT!!! 
 Helen and the Hellcats- While Your Away - Top 5
Confessions of a Sailor's Wife- while youre away

Even Superwoman has a Bad Day

Today was the day I finally allowed myself the chance to process that my husband was away. So, in other words.. today was a not so good day. I started this blog so others could see the ups and downs of my life. To see my Journey as a Navy Wife. Well, here's my first "down". I'm going to write this as if I was writing my husband, because he knows me best, and understands me more than anyone in this world. That being said, I will be able to express how I feel a little better and feel comfortable writing.

Dear Mr. Amazing (yes I really do call my husband this. He truly is.),

Today I got really bummed out when you didn't write. I got my hopes up for an email when I started to feel a little Blah. I had to remind myself that everything is ok. That I'm strong enough and it's ok to have days where I feel alone, that it's normal. I know you're not going to be able to email me every day. I just have to remind myself of that on the days it feels harder. I just have to think positive and not let negativity fill my head, because it will eat at me. I'm better now, I promise. I guess I was due for a little time to just let it out. I've been doing so well at just keeping busy and staying positive, I was bound to crack at some point. I know you love me, and that if you could you would email me or better yet call me if you could. I know you have only been gone a short time, but I didn't get the chance to process the fact that you were even leaving. That you weren't on a "Duty" day. That's what it felt like. Every day I have felt like you were going to come home the next morning. Even though I know you haven't had Duty in Months. I guess that's a good way to look at it, I wish I felt that way earlier so I wouldn't have almost broke down.
We both knew I had a day coming. And I really tried my best not to let it bother me, but this is the first time I have sat down long enough to let my mind wonder. I hope that by me writing you this, it will help me and also help you to understand that I am ok even on my "off" days. I want to be positive and supportive. I want to be understanding, and I know I am.. I just need a day to recollect myself I guess. I can't rely on an email to come to make me feel better. I have to rely on myself and our love, thoughts of you and of us to help keep my head up and be the best damn wife I can possibly be. I know we joke that I'm "Superwoman" or whatever. But I guess even Superwoman has a bad day every now and then. After all she is a woman.. and we both know that sometimes hormones get the best of any woman. I guess the constant going and staying busy has physically and mentally drained me. I guess at some point, you have to take a step back to think about things, let it out and pick up where you left off. Process the fact that you are away.. let it out, process.. process.. grasp the fact... pull yourself together and get moving. I almost felt sorry for myself. And oh boy, wouldn't that have been a complete blubbering mess. But luckily, I snapped back to reality. I think I needed the time to think about it.. get it out.. and then be able to realize I can't let it hold me back or make me feel sorry for myself. Well, now that we've had our little therapy session, I'm going to go back to packing now. Superwoman is moving in about 2 weeks and has only 1 room packed completely. 

Well, I hope I didn't loose anyone there.. I'm sure if this was actually going to be given to my husband it would have been full of mushy stuff and I love yous.. but I avoided all that so I wouldn't make you all sick (haha) and to prevent this from being a never ending post. Maybe someone will relate to how I feel. Even in my days that I don't feel strong enough, I still see the positive in myself. I just hope I never loose that.

Yes, I do really get called "Superwoman" and not just by my husband. I guess one day I will post about that. But for now, this is it.

Complaint Department, Take a Number

Yesterday I got Really irritated. Okay, honestly I was beyond irritated. I was on the verge of being irate! Ha, just realized.. I have 2 blogs (this being the 2nd) where I am CLEARLY on a rant.. and they both deal with Facebook. Why am I on that site again?

Ok, so it wasn't Facebook directly, but it petty girls on Facebook. I just read Mrs. Gambizzle's Post and this blog is related to hers. We're on the same rant.. and about the same person. Well, actually mine's more than just that person, but that person triggered my reaction. Am I rambling? pssh.

My husband's ship recently left for another workup. This one is one of the long stretches. I decide to get on Facebook yesterday morning, ya know.. to kinda put me in a good mood and talk to some of my military wife friends. Just wanted some casual conversation and maybe make some plans. What do I see as soon as I get on there? A girl posting "I don't need to see people whining and bitching about their guys being gone" She kinda rambled on and mentioned that she had her own problems that "are NOT military related". She has also posted that people need to "Suck it up and get over it. You signed up for this". She's always such a negative person and always Complaining about people "Complaining". Another girl posted something like "So what, your husband's gone.. get over it.".. *raises eyebrow, gritting teeth*

Ok, I agree with the whole "you signed up for this, suck it up" thing. BUT in a totally different sense than she did. I DID sign up for this life when I married my husband. I "Suck it up" when I have a day that the Navy changes plans or something goes wrong, and I don't COMPLAIN. That's how I look at it. But, I IN NO WAY signed up to NOT miss him. No one did.

I kinda lashed out. I have yet to post that I miss my husband, but that doesn't mean I don't miss him, because I do.. Very much so. I think it's normal to miss your husband.. and honestly, If you don't... Something is very wrong with you or your relationship. Just my thoughts. Anyway, back to the point.. I lashed out. I posted:

"gets annoyed when girls "Complain" about other's who post and complain about their men being gone. Do you realize you are "Complaining" more? Seriously. Shut up. Atleast some of us miss our boys."

I went on to say "I do not think posting that missing your SO while he is gone is complaining. I would HOPE that everyone will miss their significant other while they are away.
*OPSEC violations are a different story*Besides that.. Why not be positive? Negative status updates can effect others mood. Be encouraging and be there for the person who is having a hard time with their loved one gone. Some people actually like having their husband around."

That status update ended up being a bit of a popular post. Several girls thought the same thing I did, but didn't say it. Some of them needed to hear, "It's ok, you're allowed to miss him".. encouragement. It's good for everyone. I like being a positive person. I actually pride myself in knowing I try not to bring negativity in my life (although, sometimes.. it happens.).

The girl who triggered my post ended up deleting her status. I assume that maybe I wasn't the only one who said something. I considered deleting her, but I would like to be able to get along with all "Big E" wives, although.. is that really possible? The reason I want to get along with all possible is because there will be a couple positions on the FRG board opening soon. The president of the FRG said I would be a great person to be on it. The FRG leader's are by vote. So, I need want to get along with everyone.

 So there.. That is my Rant. Weewh... I feel better. ha. 

Do you agree? Or did I over react?

Ship is on the Move

Lately there have been a lot of ins and outs with my hubby's ship. Aren't workups just fun?! {sarcasm, if you didn't get it.)

The USS Enterprise being pushed into the pier April 18, '10

So far, it hasn't been all that bad. The first time they went out for a week was a little rough. My husband's email had not been set up on the ship and obviously cellphones are prohibited (not like that would have mattered.. they are in a solid steel cage more than 50 miles out from land!).. so there was no contact. Thank God for other military wives who are always there. Several nights I stayed up chatting with other Enterprise wives until after 2 in the morning. There is truly no friendship that compares to the friends I have made in the almost 2 years my husband has been in the service. When he came home after that first workup.. I had a huge sense of pride and even more support for my husband. Watching that ship pull in, I smiled and I felt like like I had not seen my husband in months.

Flag at Half Mast for fallen Soldier

I know what you're thinking.. it was just a week! Well, this was our first, both mine and my husband's, first "workup", and the USS Enterprise's first outing in 2 years! So yeah, it's somewhat of a big deal! They got the old clunker running again! I felt so proud, and felt so Happy. Not happy that my husband will be away so much, but happy because this is what he likes doing. This is his career. Happy because my husband is starting to feel like he is going to make a difference and serve his Country. After all, that is why he joined the Military. He wanted to be apart of something bigger than himself and serve his country. And I support him and love him.

They have been in and out all month it seems. Started off with a fast cruise in the shipyards, to getting out and finally getting to play in the water a couple times. The guys are exhausted right now.  My husband just got a day off after more than 3 weeks of not having a day off. Hoping to catch up on some much wanted time with him before he leaves again.

 Met up with several girls to watch the boat pull in. We were there for 5 hours! (hence the reason my hair looked horrible!) But in the end, the wait, the bad hair, and having to pee so bad it hurt.. it was totally worth it.

My husband said he actually had fun out there. He said he worked his but off, but for some reason... he liked it. Which is GREAT because we have 18 more years of this. ;)

I hope you enjoyed the few pics I posted from the ones I took from the day they moved back to Norfolk. Everyone on Facebook seems to enjoy them. So, I figured you might too! :)

Deployment on the Horizon

We still have a little bit before we get to the Big D. However, every time a new schedule is posted.. seems the time gets a little closer and closer.

The ship let the boys come home yesterday, but the ride has already started back again. The hubby and I got to talking as I took him in this morning. The next few months are going to prepare us for our first deployment. And by the time deployment gets here we will have made a few decisions, atleast I hope we know what we're doing.

In a little over a month we will be moving into a townhouse we found for rent that is a lot larger and about $300 a month less than we are currently paying for our cramped apartment. We're not quite sure how this move will go with all these workups going on... But I'm trying to figure it out. All the packing is kind of left up to me.. but I'm sure if he was here, it would still be that way. I'm excited, but feeling a little stressed because all the guys that are planning to help us move, just happen to be on the same ship as my hubby. I'm trying to rack my brain and try to figure out how to make this run smoothly.

We think we are going to like our new place, but we said the same about our current apartment. We figure by deployment time, we will know if we want to stay here in Hampton, or if we want to find another place to rent in Norfolk (or that side of the water) or maybe even think about the home buying idea again. We still have some time to think about it, but I want to be as prepared as I can be.

I'm trying to lay out the pros and cons to each idea. Trying to think of our best possible option.
If we like the townhouse in Hampton- Pros: It's cheap, plenty of space, it's more "homey" like Cons: Tunnel traffic to Norfolk, is Nick going to feel safe leaving me there alone?, no back yard- just a large Patio.
If we decided to find another place across the tunnel to rent: Pros: No more tunnel traffic!, Close to base, I have lots of friends on that side of the water Cons: Having to move again, trouble finding a place that will allow Riley, more deposits
If we decide to buy a house: Pros: It's ours!, I can do all sorts of projects around the house, a yard for Riley, I can have a garden Cons: Moving again, finding a good neighborhood, it not selling when we get orders, will be paying more than what we are going to pay for rent at the townhouse.

We have decided that if we decide to move, whether it be buying or renting, we will put all our stuff in storage and I will move home for a little bit. This will give me time to find us a new place and save some money up while he is away. I want to have us moved in and the place all decorated by the time he is home though. I want to surprise him. I plan to send him pictures of the home buying/ rent search process and make sure his opinion matters. I want him to feel as involved as possible. I know he will say he doesn't  matter, if I like it he will like it.. blah blah blah, but I want this to be about him too.

Is anyone going through a similar situation as this? What do you do to keep your sanity?