Saturday, October 30, 2010

deployment Complaining

I'm posting this from my phone, so excuse me for any spelling errors or punctuation errors.

Lately, I have seen a lot of ladies posting negative things about deployment. I'm not talking about those who say they are preparing for it, not ready for it, makes them miss their husband.. etc. What I'm seeing that is bugging me is things like "dear deployment, I hate you", "Dear Deployment, you suck", "I hate the Navy, why does there have to be deployment", "there should not be deployments".. etc.

Maybe it's just me, but Deploment makes me proud. When my husband enlisted, we knew there would be deployment. He didnt sign up thinking he wouldnt be deployed. It's part of the job, being in the military. I accept that, and I'm proud of that. Because when he joined, I joined as his supporter and a military wife. I didn't agree to this to be a complainer, or Captain Negativity.

There will always be deployments. No matter if it's a time of war or peace times. It's part of the purpose of the military. Again, it's their job.

Honestly, I don't "hate" deployment. Yes, it may scare me, and I am going to worry and miss him more than anything in the world.. but I don't hate it because he signed up for this and I agreed to Deployments when I married him knowing he was leaving for the Navy.

Yea, there are going to be times where I'm going to think "Deployment, you suck!", but.. that will be me worrying and missing my husband. But the way I see it, it's not Deployments fault. Would my husband not be the one to blame? He enlisted, he signed up for Deployments.. then again, it would be MY fault. I married him. I signed up to got through deployments on the homefront.

I think sometimes, people have to have someone to blame for being upset, or unhappy. But, I've said this many times. You make your own happiness.
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Monday, October 18, 2010

Deployment Blues?

We're creeping up on deployment, and now I'm actually thinking.. "Hold on, it's going to be a bumpy ride".

I'm thinking about the time I have left with my husband before he set out on his mission to protect the world, and I embark on the next chapter of my "Journey as a Navy Wife".

I'm not scared of deployment. I know that the communication skills between my husband and I will get us through any challenges that face us. I know and my husband knows that communication is key to any relationship and even more so in a military relationship.

I feel like I have prepared myself for deployment. I have set so many goals for myself for the duration of Deployment that I know it's going to make the time that we are apart easier.. maybe not easier, but run alot smoother and seem faster. I'm a busy body... and I have TONS planned, but I know to take a day to myself and just relax and breath every now and then.

So, now you are wondering... "Why the Title of 'Deployment Blues?' if you're not worried about Deployment?". The past couple of days I have started to worry about the time left before he leaves.. The very short time we have left to spend together before he is gone for months. I'm starting to feel a little anxiety from it, which I  KNOW is not the best thing.. but is there really any way to get around not having some form of anxiety?
I want to be able to have some time to just "Us" and relax and enjoy each other's company... and with his schedule, it's not looking promising for much time together. Between these Underways and his work schedule.. I feel a little shafted, and jealous of the "Family Time" I'm reading about from other wives whose husband's are on my hubs ship.. And I hate being truly jealous of anyone.

I'm going to enjoy any time I get with him, there's no questioning that. I'm not going to let the anxiety of not getting a lot of time together get to me because I know that will make deployment harder for me, and I will not enjoy the time I have left with him as much as I should. I can't focus so much on any stress I have.

I  think because of the anxiety It's causing me to dream bad dreams... I rarely dream and I have had not one.. but two nightmares the past two nights.
The first night I dreamt that I was folding laundry and looked to see a car pull up and two men in dress uniforms get out of the car. I opened the door and one of the men handed me a folded flag and they vanished into midair and everything around me turned to a black room. It was me and this folded flag, alone in a cold dark room. Then I woke up. It was absolutely HORRIBLE! There was never a word spoke in that dream..

The second dream I had, just last night, was my wedding band started to fall apart.. My diamonds were falling out one by one.. I woke up when the 3rd diamond of 8 fell out and I actually turned on the bedside lamp to make sure I hadn't lost any diamonds. I had a similar dream right before my husband and I got married, but about my engagement ring. I dreamt that my engagement ring was rusting and chipping away until it just crumbled and I woke up. My rings mean so much to my husband and I, they symbolize a unity and a promise... so you can see why this dream is so terrible to me... It was as if it was telling me my marriage was falling apart (No, I don't believe my rings hold my marriage together, they just mean a lot to my husband and myself..).

Thankfully, I know these are just bad dreams. I know my husband and my marriage is great and it's probably "predeployment" anxiety getting to me. Hopefully I'll get my head screwed on straight before he comes home from this underway and focus on enjoying our time together.

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Do you want in my Pants?

I stole this Idea from Goodnight Moon and Flipflops and Combat Boots. They seemed to have a lot of luck with it.. So, why not?!

I went through my closet and found SO MUCH I don't need/ don't wear. A little of everything. Jeans, Tops, Dresses AND shoes! I was going to put all this stuff on Ebay, but I realllly didn't want to take the time to put more than 35 items on Ebay. Although.. if I had put them on Ebay, I would have gotten more than I'm asking. I just want them gone, but need to make a little Mula in the process.

I was going to use the money for Photography stuff, but car issues popped up and then I remembered I'm moving {again} next month... So, Yeah.. I have really important things that I could use need extra cash for!

You can view the full list of items on Facebook, it's easier to list everything there.
Click HERE to view the Facebook album with tons of goodies :)

Here are a Few items I'm trying to sell:

American Eagle Artist Jeans $15 + Shipping
Size 8 REG
These fit a little smaller

American Eagle Capri's $10 + Shipping
Size 2 REG.
These fit loose.

Express Pencil Skirt $25 + shipping
Only worn Twice  ^Once in the shot above. Paid $75 for skirt.
Size 2
*ignore the clips and wrinkles ;)
Vintage Miss Ashlee Dress. $40 + Shipping
Cannot read the size on this dress. I'm going to say it's a Size 6 but with the belt it can be wore by smaller sized.
Only wore once (by Me, unknown by however many other people).
Blue Plate Dress $10 + Shipping
Size Medium
Only worn once for the shoot above.
Vintage Navy blue & White Polka dot dress $20 + Shipping
tag has been cut out by previous owner, I'm going to guess and say this dress is about a size 6
Andretta Donatello Dress. No known problems with this dress. $50 + Shipping
Size Small
Ignore the the white hanger in the second picture, It was needed to space the dress as if someone was wearing it.
I cannot read the brand on this dress. $35 + Shipping
Size 12
Dress is in good condition. There is some loose threads in the beading, but it's not noticeable. I didn't find any snags on this dress.
Charlotte Russe Size 8
$8 + Shipping
I LOVE these shoes! But, I don't ever dress up, so they just sit in my closet.
Wild Diva Size 8
$8 + Shipping
You can view the full list of items on Facebook. If you see something you want.. shoot me an email
Click HERE to view the Facebook album with tons of goodies :)

Friday, October 8, 2010

The Enemy is listening..

Today I'm revisiting a topic I am very passionate about, one that I feel noone takes as serious as they should. I posted about this shortly after starting my blog, but I'm deleting that post and going into more detail. I have studied OPSEC since the day I became a Navy wife. I have read so many Official postings on OPSEC and have been to a briefing on it as well. So, With all things considered.. I would consider myself to be well educated when it comes to OPSEC. I will do a PERSEC post another day.. betcha I scare a few of you with it too. I have scared a few friends when I talk about it. ;)

First off, What is OPSEC?
OPSEC means Operational Security. OPSEC is the process of denying potential adversaries any information about capabilities and/or intentions by identifying, controlling, and protecting generally unclassified evidence of the planning and execution of sensitive activities.

Something Everyone should understand-
Although some information may not be secret, it can be what we call “critical information.” Critical information deals with specific facts about military intentions, capabilities, operations or activities. If the Enemy knew detailed information, the service member's mission accomplishment and personnel safety could be jeopardized. By being a member of the military family, YOU will often know some bits of critical information. Do Not discuss them in public and with persons who are not immediate family or affiliated with the military- Only people you trust and who practice OPSEC.

• Where and how you discuss this information is just as important as with whom you discuss it. Adverse agents tasked with collecting information frequently visit some of the same stores, clubs, recreational areas, or places of worship as you do.

• Determined individuals can easily collect data from cordless and cell phones, and even baby monitors, using inexpensive receivers available from local electronics stores.

Some information you may think is insignificant, However.. Paired with someone else's "Insignificant" information, it can be puzzled together and the full picture put together. Puzzle pieces ARE a violation of OPSEC.

What not to talk or post about:
  • Do not post deployment dates or redeployment dates.
  • Do not post Training dates such as Ship Underways
  • Do not post homecoming dates- this includes training/ underway homecomings
  • Do not Post R&R dates- Arrival or Departure.
  • Do not discuss Locations, Keep it on a "Country" basis Such as Afghanistan. Navy Ladies, Don't discuss what country the ships are porting in at all.
  • Do not discuss convoy routes (“we traveled through XYZ on our way to ZXY”) 
  • Do not discuss detailed information on the mission, capabilities or morale of a unit  or command.
  • Do not discuss details concerning security procedures, response times, tactics
  • Do not discuss equipment or lack there of.
  • Do not talk about or speculate about future operations or movements. This would include a ship changing ports Stateside. (i.e. a specific carrier moving from Norfolk to Mayport)
  • Do not post countdowns or time frames, same for count-ups. Counting down is giving the exact date. Counting up from the day he left is a puzzle piece. While you may not be giving exact information, Put with someone eles's percentage or estimate.. you give it away.
  • Do not post pictures of your SO with obvious landmarks that can give away his or her location. 
  • Do not pass on Rumors.. (i.e. "I heard the dates changed")
  • Do not post percentages- Some feel this is ok, but it is also a puzzle piece. If you pair it with someone else's puzzle piece/ Violation- it can be figured out. You post that you are 50% done.. and someone posts he's been gone 90 days.. You then have a date/ timeframe.
I think you get the idea. 

If you refuse to follow these guidelines, you are putting YOUR service member at great risk. Not only are you putting yours in greater danger- You are putting every service member in their unit/ command/ ship.. etc at risk.

By not following these rules you are potentially getting your service member in trouble. I know a few ladies who got there husband put on restriction and stripped of their crow (they lost rank) because they couldn't wouldn't adhere to OPSEC. I have also met a girl on Myspace who refused to listen to numerous people when they told her not to post dates of her boyfriend's deployment. By not listening, she caused his group's deployment to be extended by a few months.

Remember, no matter your affiliation, status, rank or age- you have a part in the security of your loved one!

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

"Olive Juice" ily

 You'll understand the title- (no, I don't like juice from olives- gag) Keep reading.. [or study the image to the left]
Have I mentioned how much I Love my husband? I know I have, but the words in my blog no where near capture the feelings I have for the amazing man I married 2 years ago.

The past 2 weeks were just what we needed. When I didn't think it was possible to fall in love with him any more than I already had- He proves me wrong time and time again. Every time I think, "It's not possible to be any happier than I am at this very moment".. again, He'll prove me wrong. I love it. The leave he took for us to spend time together was so amazing.

Yes, This is one of those sappy, mushy, YOUDISGUSTMEBECAUSEYOURSOINLOVE blogs. :D <-there's that big cheesey smile again. Get use to it ;)

It's the little things he does that make me smile so much.. and still gives me butterflies. My last text from him after taking him to the pier for yet another underway said "Olive Juice". Some of you may or may not know what I'm talking about.. or may think I'm crazy, so let me explain:

I don't know what it's called.... Similar to a "Homophone".. but not exactly. I was told once it was considered a "Homophene" but I can't find any validity to it... Ok.. When you mouth "olive juice" to someone across a room, it looks like you're saying "I love you". Ya got me? My husband and I sometimes do this, except I say "Elephant Shoe". We did this a little when we first started dating, and then it faded away. Over the past 2 weeks, it somehow popped back up in our relationship. I'd say "Elephant Shoe" and he'd reply with "Olive Juice".. we'd actually speak it instead of mouthing it.. but who cares. Sometimes he'd throw in a "I want to Vacuum"... which is something that looks totally different than "I Love You"... go mouth that one in the mirror ;) or mouth it to your SO- ha.

"Olive Juice"- Made my day, even though I was letting him go for a short time with his ship- not that I had much choice :p.

It's the little things <3

Sunday, October 3, 2010

Operation: Get Prepared

I have been neglecting my blog for the past couple of weeks. My husband has been on leave and I have been soaking up every minute of time I have with him.  He goes back to work tomorrow. Today we are just lounging and relaxing... and recuperating. Seems he and I both caught some kind of little sick bug going around.

As I sit here, I'm thinking about Deployment. I realize we have only 1 or 2 more short underways before the big "D". And so much is going to happen in the short time we have before then.

Does it scare me? Yes and No. I'm not scared of what will happen to us. I know that our relationship will only be strengthened by Deployment. I'm not scared of the time apart. Yes, I know I'm going to have bad days, but I'm going to have good days too. I know I'm strong enough as an individual to bring my own happiness and make the best of every day that comes. The part that scares me is the things that can happen on deployment. The risks he will face... the same risk every service member faces. But it's part of it.. this is his job- the job he and I both signed up for when he joined. Time to put on those "Big Girl Panties".

Before deployment comes, like I said earlier, there  is so much that will be happening.. and things that have to get done so I can say that I'm prepared to be on my own for a bit without the help of my husband.

We are moving.. yet again. But this next place we will be staying for the next 4 years. The place is absolutely perfect... and We can have Riley and actually say she is a Pit bull. We lucked up with a friend of his getting orders to Florida and the guy owns a house... Townhouse, 3 bedrooms, 2 1/2 bathrooms Living Room, Den, cute kitchen, dinning room, washer & dryer, BACK YARD! :), huge bathtub.. and an attic- OH, and a garage that we are converting to a studio for my photography! Heck yes. I can't wait to move. We are using deployment orders to break our lease to get out of this place we're in now.. I love the size of our place now, but we're having more and more trouble with this place and we don't feel safe with me being here alone during Deployment. The neighborhood we will be moving to is nice, quite and SAFE! We will have neighborhood watch. Awesome. But now.. the boxes that I seemed to just have unpacked, need to be packed again. We will be moving at the end of November toward the beginning of December. I cannot wait. I'm seriously IN LOVE with this place. Not to mention it's location. I actually saw barns in the area.. In the little over a year we have been in Hampton Roads, I have not seen a single barn until the other day. I seriously got "kid like" excited. For a split second.. I was reminded of our hometown in TN. Anyway.. enough about the new place.

There is a lot to do to get prepared for the big D... Some of which we have already done.
  • Power of Attorney- Check, We have 2 different types- I'm more than covered in this area. 
  • A will- Not real sure how much we need this.. we don't own much and everything we do is in both our names.. other than his car, and we don't have kids. But might be best to get it anyway.
  • Review life insurance Policies, gosh I hate thinking about this.. but it's part of being adult, not just military.
  • Get switched to TriCare Prime- I should have already done this forever ago.
  • Set up a second savings account for the 1973 Dodge Dart my husband wants to fix up.
  • Have the Car serviced, and any problems that need to be fixed.. fixed.
  • Sell my 2000 Cavalier- Less than 60K miles if you want it! ;)
I think that's it as far as the physical preparedness.. But Considering this Deployment will be my first.. I could be missing some "Must Do's".

As far as emotionally, and things to accomplish... I have several.. Here are some:
  • Have 3 friends (obviously I have more, but to me.. these are the musts)- 1 person that will tell you to "Get over it", "Put your big girl panties on".. Believe it or not- I think everyone needs this person to keep you thinking straight. 1 person to be your shoulder to cry on, the person you vent to.. your "Therapist" in my opinion. We all need someone to listen that doesn't judge you. and 1 person that is a wife from your husband's command, that is going through the same exact things your are for the same amount of time... because I believe that at some point you feel as if others not associated with your husband's deployment don't understand.. even if in all actuality.. everyone who is going through or has gone through a deployment definitely understands.
  • Write a list of goals to accomplish.. So far I have things like- Decorate our *new* place, Do training classes with Roo (our Pitty), Get on a set workout routine, make a list of carepackage ideas.. etc
  • Blog more about how the "PreDeployment" is affecting me.. or how it's not affecting me because I created this blog for things related to military life- and what I think.. and to hopefully give insite from my view of how things happen. 
  • Read more- because I realize how much I love learning new things. 
I have so much planned and what not.. just kind of drawing a blank right now.. might have something to do with the dayquil.. feeling a little "Medicine head".