Thursday, June 25, 2015

Dear Cash William

Dear Cash William,

We are just shy of 34 weeks now. It's crazy to think that very soon, you will be in my arms and no longer in my belly. I'm full of emotions. I am beyond happy and excited, but so very nervous, anxious and terrified.

Your Dad (hehe.. dad.. ) and I and tried so hard over the past several years to become parents. We were blessed with a few pregnancies, but at the time, God must have thought it wasn't the best time. Honestly, we gave up. We were no longer hopeful we'd be parents by a birth from my body. Then, God gave us a miracle, he gave us you. I can't promise you a baby brother or sister in the future, but as you know, God is in control.

The past few months we have had some scares. The doctors didn't know if my body could keep you. Even with all the scares, you've shown just how strong you really are. When I'm not feeling well, and I'm worried.. you give me a kick, a push or a stretch to say, "Hey, I'm still here and we're doing this". Thank you for that. Just like your dad always says, you tell me everything is going to be OK.

You're not even here yet and you've taught me so much already. I have a lot to learn still yet, and I'm so sorry that with you, there will be a lot of trial and error. I promise I'll keep learning and do what I feel is best for you at all times.

I find myself wondering who you're going to look like more. I wonder how much like your 3D pictures you'll really look. Will you have a head full of hair, or be bald until you're 3 like I was? Will you have your dad's nose like it appears in your 3D images? Will you get my creative, need for artsy things or be more athletic like your dad? I hope you get your dad's sense of humor and my need for planning. I hope you get some of the height from your Nana's side of the family and little curls from your dad. Only time will tell.. I know, but my mind never quits. No matter what, you will be you and absolutely perfect.

Being on a temporary bed-rest and feeling you squirming around, I can't help but smile. Even with all the problems with my body, you've remained strong and I've loved every second of carrying you. Now, this isn't me saying I'm ready for you to come out just yet.. I need you to stay as close to your due date as possible. I know the doc says likely around 35 weeks because mommy was made different... but we've come this far, let's see if we can keep going.

Soon Little man, soon you will greet the world and I will be the happiest person on the planet.

Mom (hehe.. mom.)