I received a phone call from my husband. He was told of an assignment he was given and he said he refused to do it. The assignment was stupid and he said no.

The assignment?

He was supposed to call me and say, "I got kicked out of the program". He was then supposed to take my reaction and report back to his group about it.

Thank you SARP, you officially pushed me a step back. You wanted to play a sick and twisted joke with something that ranks high on the list of, "biggest fears"... Yup, up there with killer clowns. Assholes.

Thank God I married a man that wouldn't do that to me. He said he couldn't do that to me, couldn't purposely hurt me or make me cry.

Realistically, that's what would have happened, I would have been hurt, likely a lot of tears and I'd be angry.
Had this of really happened, I would be angry with my husband, severely. I  WE need this program to be successful.

Now, I just feel nauseous.
I want off this roller-coaster.

Perks in the Work Place

Something to consider when you're in a relationship with someone who is in the military, it is their job. They can't take off whenever they want, they can't call, email, Skype, etc. whenever they want. Why? Because it's a job.

That being said, if YOU have a job- it's the same thing. You can't drop everything you're doing to talk to them if they are able to call, email, etc. I understand wanting to talk to your significant other, trust me, I do. BUT a job is a  responsibility you accept.

Does it suck to miss a call? You betcha, I've been there.

Seeing people bash their employer because they can't stop "working" to chat with their significant other is ridiculous in my opinion. You are not getting paid to converse with your SO.

It's another one of those situations where some military wives feel they are owed something. Just because our loved ones are deployed, doesn't give us the right to go against a company we work for's policy.

It is awesome when jobs have leniency and give us the ability to stop everything we are doing to take a phone call, or respond to an email. However, there is a business to be ran and they hired you to help in it.

Think about it..

You run a business, someone calls for one of your employees- say the person calling isn't deployed, they aren't given the privileged to speak to that person because they are working. You have a military spouse whose husband is calling, but you give that person time to talk... see where I'm getting at?

Just because we are married, dating, mother's of, etc.. does not give up the added luxuries to have added perks in the work place.

Military Wives are Vultures

In the nearly 4 years my husband has been active duty, one thing that is so apparent is some military wives are viscous creatures.

I don't want to even acknowledge them as human beings, because in my eyes, there are many who are scum. Scum in so many different forms.

I have found, at least here at his first duty station, it is hard to find people who are genuine, true friends and true to their significant others. On top of that, there are some extremely nosy scum out there and love to get mess twisted to start rumors.

Here are the different vultures I am referring to:

a. You have the tag chasers. And by tag chasers, I mean the girl who just bounces around from service member to service member. The girl who doesn't care if the service member is in a relationship.. it just ups her game. The girl who doesn't even love her significant other, but is rather obsessed with the lifestyle and the "glory" she perceives this life to be.

b. You have those who are so fixated with the lifestyle. I understand there is "excitement", but then there is overboard. When my husband joined, I was overly proud. I'm overly patriotic and always have been. But at some point, you have to recognize the military is his job. Yes, this is a lifestyle to adjust to, but this is HIS job. By fixated, I'm making reference to those who feel as if they, themselves, are "Military". I understand when people refer to non-military families as "civilians", I understand it because it's the easiest way to refer to it. But we do need to realize as wives, we are not active duty.. or even in the reserves, no special rank.. no rank whatsoever- we are a civilian. Relish in the fact that you, unless you enlisted, are not government property.

c. You have bullies. It's sad to say, but I know 8 year olds who are more mature than a lot of the ladies I have met in the past 4 years. I don't understand why so many spouses to active duty military feel the need to belittle and bully other spouses. "Oh you're fat, You're ugly, Can you believe she wore that to the commissary, someone's been eating too many twinkies".. etc. I've read some extremely ridiculous posts belittling people on Facbook as well as in the blog world, It's disgusting.

d. Those who think we are owed something for our SO being active duty. You aren't owed anything. YES, this life has challenges- but so do non-military families aka "civilian families". Every single person in this world has their own set of challenges to face. I for one, am grateful for the ease of life I have now compared to what I had before my husband joined the Navy. By ease, I don't mean there aren't challenges, but I'm happy where I'm at and I'll gladly wait for him through a deployment vs. go back to eating peanut butter sandwhiches every day, 3 times a day to pay rent. And to clear things up, I married my husband before he joined- just to stop the vultures that say, "You married him for the military/ money".

e. The cheaters. Yes, I know there are men in the military who cheat- that is a different tangent. I'm talking about those who are "SO in love" with their husband, but after 5 months of a deployment, find themselves in bed with another man. Seriously, cheating is NEVER an accident. YOU can prevent yourself being put in a situation that could lead to cheating. My husband has been deployed a few months, and the fact that I have heard of several gals cheating is insane. WHY did you get married? I mean, if you truly LOVE someone, you wouldn't cheat. Staying faithful shouldn't be hard.

I could keep going, but I'm going to leave it at that. Find your own identity, not your significant other's job status.

Communication

When your Significant other is away on Deployment, you have to find ways to stay connected. Skyping sometimes doesn't happen,  email goes down, the phones suck or you just don't want to rack up the phone card bills.. etc.

My husband and I don't really do phone calls from the ship, occasionally.. but rarely. He will make a $25 phone card last the entire deployment. He has been gone since March and I have received 3 phone calls. One, was an emergency as it was when I was in the hospital and the ship allowed him to call for free, so I don't really count that one.

Our main form of communication is through email. I do not receive an email every day, and I'm ok with that. I know not to expect them and I know email is a luxury so many take for granted. Even if I don't receive an email from him (because communications are down or he's got a lot going on), I will always send him an email just to let him know I love him and how my day went. It helps him to feel apart of my day to day life.

Purchasing iPads was one of the best expensive investments we have made. During his last deployment, we didn't see each other/ video chat. During port calls, he would occasionally access Facebook and send me comments and then would call me if he could barrow a friend's phone. Every port this deployment, he and I have been able to Skype or use FaceTime. It has been wonderful! He doesn't always have great wifi, but it is usually enough to message back & forth. It's nice to see him and seeing how he changes, when he grows a mustache, how he shaved his head with a razor or just seeing how he is bulking up compared to loosing weight last deployment. Seeing him smile, laugh and be goofy is so awesome. We are so blessed to live in a time with such amazing technology.

One of my FAVORITE ways keeping connected this deployment (aside from video chats!), as many of you have noticed, is sending Care Packages. I put so much into them... as in I put a lot of thought and work into them. I don't want them to become boring to him and I want it to brighten his day knowing how much effort I put in to making them as well as the ideas. His birthday box was a hit, his Zombie box was totally him and so awesome, His pickle box he just received ans hasn't had a chance to really go through it.. but did manage to tell me how much he loves it already and how awesome it is. Now, I'm already making another themed box for our anniversary in September (I'm not going to get into details about it, you'll just have to wait, or go check my instagram out! @christinarush). Of course, between all the themed boxes I send out, I send 2-3 Food boxes. I don't get all creative with them, just jam-pack them with all sorts of food he can easily store in his locker. I will send anything with a pop top can so he can have soups and pasta, Mac -n- cheese cups, dry pasta bowls, microwavable noodle cups, microwavable desserts.. etc. Because we all know, boat food isn't always that grand!

We all know the distance that comes with Deployment can be challenging. But as I have stated in many blogs in the past, Communication is the foundation for so much. There are so many ways to communicate and so many ways to build on it- you just have to find what works in your relationship to strengthen it. With a solid foundation of communication, you will have trust and you will feel closer to him despite the distance. It is one thing that makes me actually enjoy deployment, it allows our relationship to constantly feel "New". Sure, I'd rather him be home, but you make the best of every situation and with Deployment being months long.. I don't want to spend it being miserable.


Bad human communication leaves us less room to grow.
-Rowan D. Williams

The void created by the failure to communicate is soon filled with poison, drivel and misrepresentation.
-C. Northcote Parkinson

Communication is a skill that you can learn. It's like riding a bicycle or typing. If you're willing to work at it, you can rapidly improve the quality of evry part of your life.
-Brian Tracy

Communication leads to community, that is, to understanding, intimacy and mutual valuing.
-Rollo May

The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.
-George Bernard Shaw

Communication works for those who work at it.
-John Powell


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If You're Not a Military Spouse, We're not Friends

Are there Really people like that, Referring to the title?

I surely hope not. 

I was recently told a friend thinks that since she is no longer going to be a military spouse, that I don't want to be friends with her anymore. Which is far from the truth. 

My husband's JOB is not my social status. I don't care what your husband's job is, it does not factor in to me wanting to be someone's friend. 

Do I have pride in the fact that my husband is in the Military? Yes, but I share that same pride for my family who are serving and who have served. And, you don't see me saying, "Your brother isn't in the military, we can't be friends." 

Dumb. 

C'mon now, we aren't in grade school any more. 

I'm sure there are woman who are like this. I know there are girls who prefer military friends for the simple fact they "understand" more. But I am not one of those people. 

Honestly, I would love to be home with my friends who aren't military spouses right now. It's refreshing to be around friends who don't have the worry of this lifestyle or feel the need to talk about it, or deployment every time you are with them. I like the normalcy of it.

My husband's job does not define me. Let's just drop the "Military" from Wife. I am HIS WIFE- That is my priority, not to be a "Military" Wife. 

Man up and Get a Real Job

Sometimes I wonder what my husband is fighting for. WHY did my husband join the Military?

I ask this question to myself because there are so many ungrateful people in this world. There are people who have told me my husband needs to man up and get a "real job".

Some people assume my husband has everything handed to him and he gets all these crazy bonuses throughout the year, and that he just sits around on a cruise ship.

Someone straight up saying they don't support the military, not just the cause, but saying they can't stand the military. They don't see the military protecting us, protecting our rights.

I've been told that most of the military is made up of Paper pushers, the Navy doesn't get put in harms way, and our military is full of murders who are fighting for some sand [horrible horrible word I refuse to quote] to have rights. I've heard more and I've heard worse.

It upsets me because I believe in our military, especially my husband. It makes me sad to know these are people our military is protecting. These people have the right to voice their opinions because People like my husband have decided to be SELFLESS and protect their rights, protect our country to the best of their ability and say nothing when these people show how ungrateful they really are.

It's great that people can freely express their opinion, all my readers know I LOVE doing so. But what gets me is when these people see it more than an opinion. They see their opinion as a hard fact. I know it's ignorance, pure ignorance. They don't know anything about each job or branch in the military. They see wives as just wanting the money and benefits when they know nothing of either. The only thing I have heard from some of these that I do agree with is the fact we did sign up for this, but that doesn't mean that it is an easy transition for everyone.

It makes me sad for my husband. I know how hard he works, I know some of the things he has seen, some of the things he's had to do. It's not an easy job for him. But he enlisted because he wanted to make a career out of the Navy. He told me he wanted a job with purpose.

I may not agree with a lot of the decisions the military is asked to carry out, but I do support them. I support my husband. It's hard for me to stand by and not defend my husband when people say things like this. I know it's ignorance on most of it. They just don't know. But it's one thing I can loose my temper on quickly, especially when it turns in to direct attacks on my husband, myself or my family.

Pretty Little Liars

Since being a Navy Wife, I have noticed so many things. And one thing I have recently really started to notice is that 'girls' lie.

I guess after recent events, I have started paying more attention to what people say, and how trusting I am to people. I'm just a bit more observant.

It's crazy the things I have heard lies about. From "Husband's falling overboard", money and assets, to husband's rank and everything in between.

It's really pathetic because there are just some things you just DON'T lie about- or well you shouldn't. I hate lies. I cannot and will not be friends with someone who is going to lie to me, especially to my face. Facebook, is the easiest way to catch a liar. If you just read posts. You will read of how "someone's husband is almost an officer" and then another post where their husband is still an airman, or seaman... Definitely no where near being an officer. Why lie about something so silly? Especially when you're going to put all the info out there to be proven a liar.

Even worse, WHY would someone lie about their husband almost dying on the ship? It's one thing for it to almost happen but then to contradict yourself in future conversations and then it not being put out on the ship that there was a "Man overboard".. all I can do is shake my head.

It all comes down to people wanting attention.

I'm just amazed at the lies people are saying. I understand that Deployment is terribly hard for some... but lying isn't a way to get GOOD attention. It attracts negative attention.

Things Not to Say?

Lately I have been seeing many Military wives, girlfriends, fiances...etc. posting things "Not" to say to a military SO.. those things being said also having responses. I read the "Things not to say" and some of them.. I see a different response. I don't get annoyed or irritated by the questions. I really think I just view Military life a little differently than a lot of people.. Maybe I have a better grasp on my emotions, I'm unsure what it is. BUT I don't let all the little things people on the outside of Military life say bother me. Sometimes the judgments on the military and military family life, Do irritate me. So, in a sense.. Somethings are better not said to a Military SO, but those people making those judgments don't know. They are ignorant to military lifestyle.

I'm unsure of the site this was pulled from.. or who originally wrote this one. I have seen several of which pretty much say the same things. Look for my added notes to each thing "Not to say to a Military Wife". My notes are in red to the Question/ statement and the response to those.

• Do you miss him? No. I love being alone. The silence is warming. I enjoy fixing everything that breaks and cuddling with my pillow.

Of course we miss them. It is a given that we do. If we didn't, something would seriously be wrong.

• My boyfriend is out of town on business, I know how you feel. Yes I hear there is a huge mortar problem in Michigan.

Correct, this person does know how we feel in terms of MISSING someone.. Missing is missing. And, quite possibly.. they may know what it's like to worry about their boyfriend. You don't know what kind of business they are on. Military is not the only dangerous job. Seems both sides are too quick to judge.

• Aren't you afraid he'll die? No, I had actually forgotten that that was a possibility, but thank you. Thank you for reminding me.

Although, Not the best question to ask.. But are you afraid your loved one will get killed in a car wreck on the way to work? The possibility is there for both Military and Civilians to have life taken away at any given moment. 

• I don't know how you manage, I couldn't do it. Thank god it's not you then. Phew.

This is one thing I hear most often. And the response irritates me, not the question. Anyone can do this life. It's a choice. You'd be surprised what you can and will do for the one you love and want to spend your life with. If you can't handle it, GOOD for you for admitting that. There are people that need more of a physical relationship, and military lifestyle wouldn't be ideal for them.

• At least he's not in Iraq/Afghanistan/Qatar. He’s not!? Shit, that changes everything.

The statement somewhat gets under my skin, but it's the fact that unless that person is directly involved, they aren't going to know what situations are faced, where and when. They are only going to know what they hear, what they see on the news and what they read. This is where we as Military SOs need to be the bigger person and maybe educate them a little bit instead of being overly sarcastic.

• Do you think he'll come home for Christmas/Birthday/Anniversary? I don't know yet, he just put in his leave request to the Taliban, we're still waiting for a response.

This question has never bothered me. Some  do get R&R and sometimes.. they are lucky enough to get R&R on a special occasion. OR maybe that person is wondering if Deployment would be over by one of those times. Yes, our SOs are going to miss dates that are important. It's part of it. But we are on the inside of things. We know how things run... someone else who is not "in the know" isn't going to always know how things operate. 

• What are you going to do to keep busy while he's gone? I don't know. Since he's been gone the house cleans itself, the bills are magically paid, and the kids are angels.

Why are we flaming the person asking the question here? I personally ask this question, and have been asked this question many times by other Military wives. Yes, we still have our every day duties, but it is obvious things are going to be different with time. There is going to be more time to yourself, or to yourself with kids that you didn't have before. I'm sure you planned things with your Significant other often.. even if it was just lounging together at home. So, What are you doing to keep yourself busy while he's gone? I've set goals to accomplish by homecoming. Lots of projects, both big and small.

• How many days until he gets out? Depends. How many days until you join?

Another question with no reason to be snappy or sarcastic. Not everyone joins the military with a career in mind and some join with career in mind and choose otherwise. I have military friends that ask this question all the time. Just because it is a civilian, WHY is it any different? Answer, my husband is in for career. 

• You'll get used to it. Yeah, the rigorous schedule is something I get used to. I'm actually a robot. I love watching the news, and the surprise missions are like tiny birthday presents from hell. Yes, I'm getting used to it like I get used to a tooth ache.

"You'll get use to it". Some do and some don't.. and there are some that don't allow themselves to get use to it. I am one that fits the statement.. I'm already use to this military lifestyle. I'm use to him being away. For some.. they will never be use to it. Everyone handles it differently.

• What is he doing over there? Knitting.

This is an honest question. Not all deployments are war missions. Some deployment are peace missions, to help people. Military isn't just about fighting and I believe there are some military wives and civilians alike that have yet to realize this. My husband is just doing his job over there.

• He signed up for it. It's his fault is anything happens to him. Yes, and it's your fault for any teeth you're about to lose.

Irritating statement.. but I'll give it to you. In a technical sense, you are correct. He did sign up for the military. I wouldn't suggest saying that to someone whose SO is deployed. Not going to say I disagree with the response- I actually found it to be humorous. 

• That's awful, I'm sorry! Don't be, he looked hot doing it. He's good. Did your husband fix your sink?

When talking about deployments, It is common for an outsider to say "I'm sorry". No harm in it.. and the response almost seems to belittle the one making the statement.. or her husband anyway. My response would have been, "No need to be sorry, we signed up for this lifestyle. He's doing his job just like your husband goes and does his. Mine just chose a career path that takes him on long business trips. He's doing what he loves and I'm supporting his decision.".

• Why don't you just go see him? They frown upon strangers 'round those parts, but by all means, go visit and let me know how it goes.

Again, SOME people just don't know. Why let it bother you because they honestly don't know what it's like? Would it not be better to educate them on the facts?

• Don't worry, he'll be home soon. Really? I thought we had 8 months left. Thank goodness you reminded me.

Would you rather them say, "He's never coming home."? Although, it may seem like a long time, every day that passes puts them to being home "sooner".. there is one less day than the day before. Although it may not be "soon enough".. It's not forever.

• How do you go without sex? Luckily we hold our relationship to a higher standard than simply our physical contact. Oh, and I have self control. Oh, and I only want one man. It's super easy that way.

I'm just going to stick with the statement reply on this one. I agree. A military relationship needs to be more than a physical relationship to survive. 

• Could he not finish college? Nah those Taliban guys don't like to negotiate.

This is a common ignorance question. Some see the military as the easy way out.. a job for those that had nothing better to do, no other options, or joined to go to school. But there are many who chose to join when they finished their schooling. There are some that joined without making the decision of going to school right away because they knew the military was the career they wanted. Some don't realize that Military IS a job.. Some seem to look at it as something different, something other than a choice.

• How can you support someone that kills people? It doesn't count if it's in a different zip code.

This is one of those questions that do get under my skin. It's best to just ignore the question and leave it be- at least for me.

• Don't you worry he'll cheat over there? Yes, I'm super worried that he's going to want to sleep with a woman who isn't allowed to speak or someone he works with and risk losing his job. That's what I'm uber worried about.

Counter the question. Are you worried your SO will cheat? If you have no worries, why should I? If I had worries, then I wouldn't Trust my husband. I'm not worried because I TRUST him. Just because he's military, doesn't mean he'd cheat any more than if he was a civilian.

• How can you be with someone who is gone for so long? At least we don't spend 12 months thinking up new ways to hate each other like....oh...sorry.

Simple answer is always sufficient. I love him. This ties into the "I couldn't do it" statement.

• You look tired. Yeah unfortunately the middle east is in a different hemisphere and no one will move it.

Why is this something not to say? IF it's because I was awake emailing back and forth for any given time.. Then I would smile if someone said I look tired. I actually got to talk to my husband for a few minutes.

• You never know what goes on over there and his buddies aren't going to rat him out. Yeah, because they're all eating and sleeping.

 Refer to the "cheating" question.

• The time will fly. Time will fly, pigs will fly, hell will freeze over....I'm still waiting.

 Yup, I agree. Time WILL fly- but that depends on the person, what they do to make time go by faster for them. Time is Flying for me.

• You're lucky. ....compared to.....?

You are SO right. I AM lucky. Deployment is teaching my husband and I so much about each other and allowing us to fall in love so much more deeply. I am lucky, and I'll hear this one any day.

• Did you hear about the soldiers killed in - Awesome, thank you. I was hoping someone would slip that into conversation today.

Not a statement I prefer to hear.. but at some point, someone is going to say it. And it very may well be it could be a Military wife friend who says it.. It's all part of it. Being in this lifestyle, you're going to be prone to hearing such things more often than not.

• Can't you text him? Why didn't I think of that!?

 Actually, YES! I can.... But not in the way you would think. I can send a text to his email and when he email's back, it comes to me as a text. A lot of people don't know they can do this. Some service providers may not.. but Verizon does.

• That sucks. Well aware.

Nah, it doesn't suck. It's part of the job... and I like connecting with my husband so deeply.

• Are you pregnant!? What if you don't get another chance? Do I look pregnant?

I haven't heard this one before.. I don't know if it bothers me.. Or even if I have anything to think about it. 

• Oh he's in the military...the easy way out. Do you take automatic weaponry with you to brush your teeth?

This one bothers me some. I've had a friend from my hometown say this. And it beyond irritated me, and I did my best to educate him on his faulty statistics he pulled out of nowhere.. but With some people.. it's best to shake your head and leave it be- IF they don't want to listen or change their opinion on a topic they know nothing about.

• You deserve someone who can be there for you. Well mine has special powers that yours doesn't.

This is when I say, YES! You are right. I DO deserve that. And because he's away, Doesn't mean he is any less here for me. Someone can be with you physically and still "Not be there for you". My husband is always here for me.

• You should spend more time being proud than sad. I tried that and it sucked, so now I'm taking the Ben & Jerry approach. Feel free to ride your butterfly out of here.

I agree with this statement. We should spend more time being proud than sad. Let yourself have some bad days, but why would you want to let every day be a sad day? Be proud.. because that's what we should be.. Proud of our husbands, boyfriends, fiances, brothers, sisters.. etc. 

• The front lines are the most dangerous. Dammit, I thought they aimed for the back.

It's all dangerous and we don't need reminders to know it any different.

• If there's anything I can do, let me know. I hope you're a magician with unlimited minutes.

Why would this be something not to say? This is something that you should WANT people to say. You're going to want someone to talk to .. someone to listen. Why not say thank you?

• How do you do it? I haven't written down the process yet, but I'll get back to you.

Refer to earlier questions, as some tie into this one. I like this question.. and if Someone asks me.. I don't get upset, or irritated. I smile and give my response. It's not about "How" you do it. It's "Why" you do it. I love him and that's more than enough reason to do it.

Dear Deployment, I LOVE You.

Everyone always seems to say, "Dear deployment, I hate you.". Here I am, Once again going against the norm. Here's my letter to deployment.

Dear Deployment,
Although many hate or strongly dislike you, I'm writing you to THANK you. You are amazing. Seriously. You are my new BFF.
I know this may seem strange that I'm so fond of you, especially since you're part of the reason my husband's nights are my days. However, I appreciate you so very much. You have made my already strong relationship stronger.
The Underways before deployment taught my husband and I better communication. Deployment, you have proved how well we communicate and our communication skills are so much stronger now. Even when communications are down, I know not to worry because I will hear from him when he has a chance, when he has the time.
He is thousands of miles away, out of reach but yet, his emails make him feel as if he is right here with me. He never left. Physically, he is away for a while.. but He is still here. It's not about the physical relationship with him. We connect through our words. I may not get phone calls because you are a bit on the expensive side, Deployment, but when I do.. I'm first kiss excited. It's worth not getting calls. We save money by no calls and When I do get them, I'm more appreciative. I know not to expect them.
Deployment, Thank you. You are more than just separation from my husband, you are more than my husband doing his job, more than these men and women out there ensuring America stays free. Deployment, You are a new relationship with my husband. There will be hard times, but there are hard times with every relationship. The key is to learning to get through it... Together. We've got this, this is easy. Thank you Deployment.
Dear Deployment, I love you.

So long for now,
Married to a Sailor

When does this get hard?

Lately, I've caught some hell because Deployment has yet to really affect me. I've actually had one girl try to say I don't love my husband or I'm cheating on him.. ect. None of which is true. Tonight, I was wondering about How deployment is affecting me.. and aside from not remembering to put out the Trash on Tuesday mornings for pickup- I'm not all that affected by it.

I have always been told that the first month is the hardest- Well, January down and I'm still not affected. Why Am I not affected by this deployment, or yet to be affected? I'm betting noone can answer that better than myself because well, Hey- I think I know myself best ;)

I think because I mentally prepared myself, I am able to cope with him being gone easily. I refused to focus on the fact of deployment coming up and focused on my husband, myself, my marriage, packing his things and just enjoying the time I had left with him instead of looking at the negatives.

Before I met my husband and while we were dating I was completely independent. I had rent, bills 2 jobs- the works. I relied on noone BUT myself. I have yet to loose that about myself. If anything, my husband is the dependent one because I do everything to take care of him- Minus the real money intake.. he's got me bet there (for now!).

I keep myself busy- None stop until I get so tired I pass out. I do give myself days to be a couch potato as well. But I do things to keep my mood upbeat.

Staying Positive also helps too! I have not seen one negative person to deal with this deployment well. Negative is just that.. All around NEGATIVE. So, Smile!Take the negativity OUT of your life- THIS INCLUDES PEOPLE! Sometimes even your closest friends. It may suck at first, but in the long run, you will be better for it. You can't be drug down by other's constant negativity. It's one thing to have a bad day- Those are allowed. The constant negativity or people starting drama, friends starting fights for no reason other than to start drama- GET RID OF IT! Sometimes, You have to put yourself first. I say this because if you keep putting everyone else first... You'll wear yourself out and those people will expect it from you and not give you the same support. Your "Friend" will get in a constant "Me Me Me" and YOU are left out.

There are going to be rumors and girls posting things just to get your panties in a wad- Ignore them. Ignore everything you hear from anyone- the news, family, friends, drama queens, anti-OPSEC followers and "Pretty little Liars" (We'll get to the pretty little liars anther day). Unless you hear it from the DOD, You're Ombudsman- or the like, or your husband... Take it with a grain of salt, or don't take it at all. Chances are- it's Horse shit.

My husband Does make me happy. However, I do not rely solely on him to make me happy. I rely on myself. Only YOU can make yourself truly happy.

I could keep going here. But I'm not out to write a whole chapter for a book.

I can't answer WHY exactly it's easier for me, or why I'm handling it so well.. other than I just am.

Christina, Do you love your husband? More than anything in this world.
 Are you cheating on your husband? That's a stupid question. My morals are far better than to stoop to that level. No, I'm not cheating on my husband and would never do so.

It's all about keeping your head up and just getting through it. I hear I'm "Too Positive". No, I'm just happy being ME. I get emails from my husband every now and then. Our communication skills are great- that's all I need to make it through this deployment. I don't have to hear from him every day. I know he's OK. If he wasn't- I'd hear about it! No news is good news. I don't get phone calls. I don't need them- and we like saving that extra money! He will call from port visits- Skype Mobile is free ;)
Because I don't get phonecalls all the time or expect email every day.. I appreciate when I do get email or a call from port. I know he's busy and who am I to get mad if he'd rather sleep for an extra 15-30 minutes instead of email me?

Now, I will admit. I have cried ONCE! and I was nothing to do with deployment! Ok, yes it had something to do with deployment,  just not my husband's deployment. I watched the movie "The Lost Valentine" with Betty White and Jennifer Love Hewitt the other day on CBS. Had I of not been affiliated with the Military in any way- I still would have Bawled! I don't know one person who didn't cry watching it. It was a great movie and I'm a sucker for sappy love stories.

I have another blog post in mind. It may be put up this week. We shall see- depends on how much free time I give myself.

My Life is like a Country Song

I was working on my Photography website, and placing print orders when I got to thinking about the lyrics to a song a friend posted. Lyrics made me smile, and most of all- they made me think of my husband.

I'm not a die-hard country fan- I know, being from Nashville, most expect that I am. I do however like country, and there are a few songs that tend to stick with me. Tend to make me think a lot.. hence the blog.

The Song "Bring It On Home" by Little Big Town now has a new meaning to me.. or maybe I just never really listened to the lyrics.

"You've got someone here who wants to make it all right. Someone that loves you more than life right here. You've got willing arms that'll hold you tight, a hand to lead you on through the night right here. I know your heart can get all tangled up inside. But don't you keep it to yourself. When your long day is over and you can barely drag your feet, the weight of the world is on your shoulders... I know what you need, bring it on home to me.

You know I know you like the back of my hand. You know I'm gonna do all that I can right here. Gonna lie with you 'til you fall asleep. When the morning comes, I'm still gonna be right here. Yes, I am. So take your worries and just drop them at the door. Baby, leave it all behind. When your long day is over and you can barely drag your feet, the weight of the world is on your shoulders... I know what you need, bring it on home to me.

Baby, let me be your safe harbor. Don't let the water come and carry you away. When your long day is over and you can barely drag your feet, the weight of the world is on your shoulders... I know what you need, bring it on home to me."

Above is some of the lyrics to the song. 
My husband may not be coming home at the end of each day. But the way he and I are looking at this deployment.. It's just one long work day.

Like the song, I will be here waiting. When his "Long Day" [deployment] is over, and he can barely drag his feet- He's going to be exhausted, there is no doubting that, I'm going to be that person he comes home to. He will have someone at home who wants to make everything alright, everything the song says.

I hear people say,  "My life is like a country song".. usually when I hear someone say that, they don't mean it in a positive way. However, This song makes me think my life IS like a country song, and in no way negative. I'm proud to relate to this song because I love my husband more than anything in the world and I will be the one he comes home to. The one who waits for him.

I do love Little Big Town, and they are amazing live. I do not know why I haven't put this song on my "While you're away" playlist. It's the perfect song for it. Needless to say, It will be very soon.

True Love Waits

It is official. Deployment has started. I wanted to post one final pre-deployment blog before deployment started and well, time got away from me.

The day of deployment, I took my husband to the pier, kissed him and said see you soon. He grabbed his bags and made way to the ship. I then met a friend at the NEX and we headed to the pier for the hour and a half of family time that was given aboard the ship.

My friend and I went our separate ways with our SOs. My husband had to work. He had to muster at 0600 and because some idiots were late muster didn't start until 0630. Muster lasted more than 30 minutes leaving less than 30 minutes with him. He walks up and says he had bad news. He had to go do some sort of training and had to go immediately. Giving us about 5 minutes to say our real "See you later". I anticipated that he wouldn't get much time with me.. So, I wasn't upset when we had to part early.

I met up with my friends to wait for the time to be kicked off the ship. Some friends shared some tears and I tried to be there to comfort them as best as I could. Goodbyes are never truly easy when you love someone when they are leaving for such a long period of time.

I was ok.
I was ready for this deployment. Ready to start the journey and conquer it.

I hadn't shed a tear. I didn't think I would have. I'm not one to cry much- it's a rare thing. That doesn't mean that leaving my husband was any easier on me, just means I deal with my emotions in a much different way and in some ways, Maybe I had prepared myself a bit more mentally. At this point, I was sure I wasn't going to cry.

Of course, sometimes, in being so sure of being prepared, you then realize that just maybe there is no real way to prepare for a deployment 100%. My husband snuck me a text. The last text I would get from my husband for several months. Simply said how much he loves me and that he misses me already.  If you know my husband, you know he's not the "Wear his heart on his sleeve" kind of guy. Two tears fell down my cheeks. All because of an unexpected last text message.

I had said my goodbye, I had mentually prepared myself- told myself, "Ok, that was that.. on to the next thing.". The text was unexpected. But my goodness, it was such an amazing feeling reading it.

Watching the ship, I wasn't sad, I wasn't upset in any way. I was Proud. I have never felt so proud in my life.

The distance from my husband, deployments.. surviving on emails. This is the life I chose. The life I chose when I said, "yes" to his marriage proposal. This is the sacrifice I make. The sacrifice I make so that my husband can do his job, to serve his country and provide for our little family.

His job is to serve his country, My job is to support him on the homefront. To wait for him. To stay true to him. To above all.. Love him.

True love waits, and I'll wait as longs as it takes.

Set Up for Failure

One thing that really bothers me is being told I have set myself up for failure. During my relationship and marriage to my husband, I have been told this numerous times for reasons I consider to be pure ignorance and ridiculous.. and even extremely judgmental.

I have heard that being married is setting our relationship up for failure. I have learned that MARRIAGE has made our RELATIONSHIP stronger, and is indeed a lot different from a relationship that is not "married"- The change is not our marriage license or my rings, those are sentiments to my marriage. The difference is on a much more personal and deeper level than the TITLE I proudly carry as his wife.

I have been told that because he is military that our marriage will fail. This based on Bogus divorce statistics. I do not allow myself to conform, nor focus on statistics. They are silly and do not define the future of my marriage or anyone else's marriage unless YOU let it define your own.

The Number ONE thing that gets to me, and is the reason this post popped in my head, is hearing people bash others when they have a tattoo for their Significant other. Do I have a Tattoo for my husband? Yup. Does it have his name? Yup. Has it changed our Relationship or Marriage? Nope! I have heard so many negative things about having my husband's name on me. Do I regret it? No, ACTUALLY I want another Tattoo for him, and He wants another for me! :)

I hear people say I will regret it, we are going to end up in divorce for it, it is a curse... etc. Well, for starters. I am not superstitious and a "Tattoo" does not "Curse" someone. Which is the same as saying it is setting one up for Failure. It is rubbish.

To me, I see my tattoo as a Statement. It is saying, "I have enough faith and belief in my marriage, and I am not afraid to permanently mark my body to show it.". My tattoo is a sentiment to me. Something I don't ever want to get rid of, just like other things you may have had since you were a child. They are sentimental in value to you. My tattoo is that to ME.

Someone stating that because I have a tattoo, my marriage will fail would be like me saying to that person that their marriage will fail because they don't believe in their marriage enough to put something on them that will permanently be there to show it. Neither is true, and saying either would be ignorance.

I also hear people who say "I would never get his name, it's stupid. We do have tattoos for each other, but never a name.". This is where I ask, What is the difference? Is it not a tattoo for the other person? They are both permanent reminders of the one you got it for. The difference is, to another person, other than you and the one it is for, the tattoo doesn't look as if it was for someone. But to YOU, you still know the reason you got it. The only difference is a name. The meanings are still the same. Why did I get my husband's name? Because I want people to know who it's for, I am PROUD to have his name on my shoulder, as he is proud to have my initials on his chest.

My love for my husband will never change. The memories I have with him will always be there. No matter what... and my Tattoo will always be a reminder to me.

No regrets.

Photo was taken for my husband.

WHAT does my Tattoo symbolize to ME? Love. Commitment. Always Faithful. Til Death Do Us Part- One mate for life. Trust. Dedication. And More.

The Little Things

We are in the car on our way to spend Christmas at my husband's grandmother's house. I have avoided the internet as if it were a plague the past couple days and focused on spending time with my husband and my family. I am so glad I did. I realize, sometimes too much internet and also TV will make you miss out on a lot of things. You forget to appreciate the little things.

As most of you know, we are gearing up for deployment. That being said, this leave period is extra special to me. It is setting in that deployment is around the corner, but as of this very moment, I amd ok. I am stress free (at the moment) and I am happy. I'm appreciating the little things, and appreciating the time with my soon to be deployed husband. Every little laugh, smile... is a memory that I know I will use to get me through these next months of separation.

As I am typing this out on my phone, I am cracking up at my husband who thinks he is the new Eminem. If you read back to nearly a year ago, to FEB 14, 2010, you will see a list of 100 reasons why I love my husband.. one of the reasons is when he breaks out rapping. He's having fun, being himself and comfortable enough around me not to care how cheesey his rap is or well, how he isnt making much sense to me. It's the little things.

We are spending about 3 to 4 hours in the car together, and I know he'll tell me a cheesey joke or we will get to cracking jokes on each other. He'll make me laugh, he'll tell me he loves me and we may even talk about things we want to accomplish over the next few month or after deployment. All of this is things I need to be thankful for and what I need to focus on. I need to focus on myself, him and us.

Deployment is coming, there is no stopping it or avoiding it for any amount of time. So what do you do? Embrace the time you have left, have fun and remember the little things. Make memories to give you those moments to smile throughout the time of being apart.

Now that I have rambled.. I am going to lay my head back and join my husband, I'm about to turn into the new Nicki Minaj. ;)
(P.s. I am not a huge fas of rap, but for the thought of comedy... I'll break it down)

Merry Christmas to everyone!

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Thank You for being a Friend..

As I'm writing this, I have the theme song from Golden girls running through my head. I said I would write about things I have learned through this year of underways and the number one thing that sticks out in my head is the Friendships.. a.k.a. "Support".

Seriously, when my husband and I were talking about this post before writing it.. I belted out singing, "Thank you for being a friend. Traveled down the road and back again. Your heart is true you're a pal and a confidant..."

On to my post...

I have always considered myself a strong person.. I still do, But what is it that helps Military wives stay strong in the long times of separation? Is it staying busy? Maybe it's allowing yourself to break down behind closed doors... or is it setting out to conquer to world that makes us "Strong"?

There are so many things that One can define as what makes them "strong". Again, I think it's all part of dealing with things in our own way, what's best for us that makes any one person "Strong". Crying is not negative (unless it's excessive, then I believe that keeps your mind in a negative state of being).

For me, I have found that while I am a STRONG, INDEPENDENT woman, I still need my support system.

Undergoing the separation from my husband due to the Navy lifestyle, I have found that being strong isn't what gets you ready for a Deployment, or even through the times your apart for any reason from your Significant other. What do I believe gets you through? Your Support System.

Personally, I sought after my husband's command Family Readiness Group for a solid support group of other ladies that understand any of the emotions that come with the military life- looking for understanding. However, I realized not all FRG's are the well organized groups I have read about in several military wife books, so I sought my own support. I didn't want to go at this alone. I wanted a support group of FRIENDS.

That's what I did. Friendships were formed and I now have the best support group that one could ever ask for. My support group, friends, continues to grow. We support each other.. we all have something to offer with our knowledge, compassion, humor, honesty, selflessness, and more.

In relationships that have long separations, I believe it is mostly the people you choose to surround yourself with that makes you "Strong". It is the Support group that holds you up and keeps you from falling.

As a great lady once commented to me, "There is strength in numbers".

Am I ready for this deployment? Yes and No.. In those times that "I'm not ready", or those moments when "This is hard".. I have an amazing support group of friends to lean on, as they do me. 

"....And if you through a party, Invited everyone you ever knew, You would see the biggest gift would be from me And the card attached would say thank you for being a friend."

Operation Underway: Completed; Next Mission: Deployment

My husband's ship has been undergoing many underways since the month of April preparing for deployment. Anywhere from 2 days to 45 days at a time, the underways have been continuous, every month, sometimes more than once a month to more than a month at a time.

I did not have any times where I broke down because of him being underway. Yeah sure, I missed him while he was away.. but I never let him being gone get the best of me. I faced challenges while he was gone, but those challenges would have been thrown at me in ordinary civilian life. Any times where I felt as if I was going to "Lose it" cannot be attributed to anything with the Navy.

Did I think it was hard? Eh, Yes and no. Missing him did sometimes make the underways tough... maybe not so much missing him- but the constant adjusting and readjusting on top of his port schedule. By the time I had adjusted to him being gone, I was waiting on the pier to bring him home- and vice versa. There were several times that I hadn't completely adjusted to him being gone and he'd come home. I wouldn't be adjusted to him being home and he'd leave again. It was a constant "gotta do this, get ready for this",  over and over and over. But now, We are at the end of the strenuous training schedule and now reality is setting in. Buckle up- It's time for Deployment.

I continually compare things I have went through in the Military family lifestyle with past military adventures. I have to say, A-school still gets the prize for being the most challenging. Bootcamp was tough- many tears and really learning to adjust and be on my own again... But A-school, I will take bootcamp and another million underways before I would choose to go through the challenges my husband and I went through as a married couple.

Bootcamp, PCSing without my husband, being away from family, constant underway schedule- I will gladly go through again and again, but you can keep the A-school ;).
(p.s. I wrote a post on A-school early in my blog)

I have been told that Deployment will be easier in many ways compared to the underway schedule. During a deployment- I will actually get to fully adjust to him being gone- which by the way, I'm actually excited about adjusting to a schedule! Although, I'd much rather adjust to a schedule with him home... I'm looking forward to being able to plan things again. I know I will probably worry about a bit more during deployment.. but I know that I will not keep me from living every day life. No use worrying constantly and making yourself miserable.

I have so much planned during deployment.. I'm actually excited for my husband to leave and come home to see all I accomplish while he's away. He says he's excited to leave and come home for me to see all the muscle he is going to put on from working out- we shall see about the muscle ;).. he's got to get away from those darn 3 Musketeers! He's not a big guy.. my husband is a little guy.. well, average I'd say now. Since April, he has gained 30 pounds. While every other guy on the USS Enterprise has lost tons of weight from the horrible food- not to mention food poisoning, my husband GAINED weight.. oh yes, $100 a month in 3 Musketeers will do that to you. I really don't have anything else to say about that, just a little laugh about it... It's definitely NOT normal haha.

I plan to write a post later this week on things I have learned in general and things I have learned about myself from these underway periods. Might just to that tomorrow. We shall see ;)

So now I say: Dear Deployment, Bring it On!

Missing Someone is Missing Someone

It's early and my mind is thinking. Ut oh. I don't know that this is considered a rant, but just going to put my thoughts out there.

Something I see so very often is Military Significant other's constantly nagging on people for missing their SO when they are gone a week, or a less time then the SO with the longer period spent apart. Not so much that they miss them, but because they say they miss them or because "they understand".

Everyone deals with being away from their significant other differently. My husband is gone for a week.. or NOT even a week, do I miss him? You bet your arse I do. Do I miss him any differently when he's gone for 3+ months? No, I do not. Missing someone is missing someone.

When someone tells you "They understand" they understand what MISSING SOMEONE is like. Who are you to say that they don't understand  or that they can't miss their SO just because their SO hasn't been gone as long as yours? You're no better, or more entitled to the emotions of being apart than they are.

Yes, I do think it's easy to think "a week, Wow.. I wish I could miss my husband for just a week.". But you want to know what I think? You're still reading this, so I guess you do. You're jealous. I think that person being the 'One upper'... "I have it harder, it upsets me that you miss your husband when he hasn't been gone as long as mine" is just wanting to be that person that has it harder than someone else. Have I thought that when someone has said they miss their husband while he's at work? I sure have. Guess what. I was Jealous of them. BUT I have missed my husband while he was at work. Situations happen, things come up that you want that person you are closest to you to comfort you.. you're missing them.

YES, the challenges that may come with deployment may be harder to deal with. But also, what's hard for one to deal with.. may just be easy for someone else. And vice versa.

Everyone handles situations differently.

"When you're struggling with something, look at all the people around you and realize that every single person you see is struggling with something, & to them, it's just as hard as what you're going through."
-Nicholas Sparks: Dear John

Ola Vevik, The Navy and How They Saved My Life

Today, I am proud to have Jennifer, aka Inside My Mind [like Phantom of the Opera] guest blogging for me. I have known Jennifer for quite some time. She's awesome. She is not a Military spouse, or a wife in general. She wears no service uniform or Medals above her heart. But one thing is for sure. This girl has a great head on her shoulders. This girl will go far in life. Jennifer is Passionate about the military, she has great appreciation for it.

Jennifer, If you choose the Navy life, I know that you will make an amazing Sailor. I thank you for your passion wanting to join something bigger than yourself. For staying positive, for always smiling. I can't say that I have ever met anyone more patriotic than you.

When I asked Jennifer to blog for my "Thankful" week. She was more than thrilled, I'd say just a wee bit excited ;)

I asked Jenny, "Why are you Thankful for the Navy?"

"Ola Vevik, The Navy and How They Saved My Life"

I thought long and hard about what I wanted to write for this blog. I LOVE the military and my country. I have no idea why, it's just the way it is. I'm that person that cries during the Star Spangled Banner and especially the Pledge of Allegiance. Ridiculous, I know but it's just the way it is.
I'm especially thankful for the Navy, it saved my life. And here's how:

So, it was 1980, my dad is a 28 year old alcoholic. His life was completely messed up and he wanted a way out. He thought joining the military would help get him cleaned up. He was wrong.
He first went to the Army Recruitment Office to enlist. They wouldn't let him though because he had a drug possession charge from 1971 that they considered a felony. So he waltzed down to the Navy Recruitment Office. They only considered his drug possession as a misdemeanor. So he enlisted.
He spent the next 3 years traveling the world, partying it up and getting paid for it. It came time for his 3 year tour to end. He told me that there had been rumors that the "Big E", as he affectionately refers to the Enterprise, was going to Australia. So of course he wanted to go. He'd always dreamed of going to Australia: pretty women, exotic accents and a fun time. Who wouldn't? So he signed up for another year.
Shortly after re-enlisting, he took a sledgehammer to the boatswain's locker and did A LOT of damage. His immediate superior, Ola Vevik, the ship's boatswain, went before the captain on my dad's behalf. He came back with 2 options. Option 1. be reduced to a seaman recruit. Option 2. Go to drug and alcohol rehab in San Diego for 13 weeks.
He chose rehab. He finished out his last year with the "Big E" and went back to Milwaukee where he met my mother.
I'll be eternally grateful to Mr. Vevik and the Navy. They could have just discharged him but instead they gave him a choice. If he hadn't gotten his life straightened out, I wouldn't be here. He wouldn't have gone back home, my mother would have never dated him and I wouldn't be here right now.
I'm so proud of my dad. I love him so much. And like I said, I'm so thankful for the Navy and Ola Vevik.
If anyone who is reading this happens to know of Mr. Vevik or a way I can get in touch with him, I'd love to thank him personally if at all possible.

Have a Happy Thanksgiving!

I am Thankful for this Life

Today is Thanksgiving day. What are you Thankful for?

The typical response is usually something along the lines of family, friends, turkey.. etc. All of which I'm very thankful for. However, today, I'm going to go a different route with what I'm thankful for.

I'm Thankful for this life.. The Military life that so many don't appreciate, but I owe so much to. We all do.

Today, as many stuff their mouth's full of Turkey, dressing and the works, I will keep in mind why I have the luxuries such as being able to enjoy such a nice meal.

I'm thankful for my freedom. Without the Military, that freedom could so easily be taken away. I'm thankful that I still have my rights because of the brave men and women who have so bravely decided to join something bigger than themselves and fight for those freedoms. Past, Present and Future.. I thank you.

I am Thankful that my husband does have a secure job, and steady income. The pay may not be the greatest, but the Pride we have for our Country, my husband's brothers & sisters in service, by far make up for the lack of pay.

I'm thankful for Deployments. Yes, I am THANKFUL. This goes back to the "Freedom" thing. Thank you!

I am Thankful for the amazing ladies I have met along my Journey as a "Navy Wife". For the sense of "Togetherness" and understanding. Thankful for having "Somebody to lean on".

I'm thankful for TriCare. Oh yes, one of the biggest complaints I hear. I am Thankful. Yea sure, the wait may suck sometimes, but you have the option to opt out of TriCare and get other means of insurance. I choose to have TriCare, and I appreciate no monthly premium. Can't complain about something given to you for free! We're not talking co-pays.. a lot of companies have co-pays.

I am thankful for the military, especially the Navy since that is the lifestyle I'm involved with. I am thankful because of the US Navy, I know how strong I am. I know how independent I am.

I am Thankful for Emails! Oh how I love them.

I am thankful for the communication skill the Military lifestyle has forced my husband and I to learn to keep our marriage strong.

I am thankful for the discounts we all get for being military and dependents. They may not be much, but I'm appreciative that my husband's service is recognized.

I could continue this post for ages. No amount of words could ever show how THANKFUL I am to the military, to this life my husband and I CHOSE for ourselves.

Today, I THANK you Military- I Thank You Navy, Army, Marines, Airforce and Coast Guard. THANK YOU for allowing me to continue my day to day life with the luxuries I have and so many others that are taken for Granted.


I am Thankful for this life.

Dear Military, I Thank You

Today, I am proudly hosting The Wife on the Roller Coaster from Riding the Rollar Coaster.

I am so Thankful for this blogger. She is an inspiration to me. A strong woman, positive and knowledgeable about the military lifestyle and all it entails. I know that whenever I need a pick-me-up, I can visit her blog or her Facebook page and I'm sure to leave in a better mood. She's my morning coffee.

When Riding The Roller Coaster said she would guest blog for me, I was more than excited. Her posts always make me smile, make me think.. and I always feel a connection with her words.

When asked, "What are you Thankful for when it comes to the Military?", This is what "Reese Barrymore" had to say:

Dear Military: I Thank You

Dear Military,
Thanksgiving is once again upon us.  In between mouthfuls of turkey and stuffing, cranberries and mashed potatoes, we remind ourselves of all the things we’re thankful for. 

There are the obvious big things, like our families and our health, the houses we live in and our steady paychecks.  There are the little things, like a much-needed day off from work and the turkey that emerged from the oven perfectly cooked.  And then there are the surprising things, the things we have no idea we’re thankful for until we give our souls a good searching and discover they are so pervasive in our lives that we can’t imagine living without them.

Military, my surprising thing to be thankful for is you.

At one point or another, we mil spouses complain about the lifestyles you force upon us.  The multiple PCS’es.  The crazy hours our spouses work.  The hurry-up-and-wait philosophy.  TRICARE.  And, of course, deployments.  I’ve been on this roller coaster for almost a decade now, and yes, I’ve often wished the ride wasn’t so bumpy and unpredictable.  But when I look back over the years, I can’t imagine a life any other way.  And I thank you for that.

I am thankful that you have given my husband the opportunity to pursue a career he loves. 

I am thankful for the places you have taken me.  If not for you, my husband and I probably would have settled down in one location and stayed there forever, oblivious to what else is out there.  We certainly would have never had the chance to live in Japan!

I am thankful for the people you’ve introduced me to.  Most of my friends are military spouses.  They get me.  They understand my ups and downs.  They know the right words to say.  They sit right there next to me on this crazy ride.

I am thankful for the lessons you have taught me.  You have forced me to think for myself, to embrace the unknown, to persevere through challenges, and to make the best of difficult situations. 

I am thankful for the way you have molded me into the person I’ve become.   I was practically a kid when I met you.  Now I am a strong, independent woman.  And I’m confident that if I can handle everything you’ve thrown at me, I can handle anything. 

I am thankful for the pride I have in my country.  I’m proud of my husband and all the other service members whose sacrifices secure our freedom.


But as thankful as I am for the role you’ve played in my life, please don’t take offense if I don’t mention you as I sit before my Thanksgiving feast and take my turn sharing with my family what I’m most thankful for.  I’ll tell my husband how thankful I am for his love and our marriage.  I’ll tell my children how thankful I am to be the mother of two happy, healthy, intelligent kids.  I’ll share my appreciation that my husband is home to celebrate this holiday with us, that I have a challenging and rewarding job, that my children are thriving at their schools, that I have loving and supportive family and friends who are only a phone call away.  But I’ll likely forget to add you to that list. 

The lifestyle you have given me is all I know.  And sadly, I tend to forget to appreciate those things in my life that are so easily taken for granted.  So Military, I wanted to take this opportunity to thank you.  I can’t imagine my life without you.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Love,
Wife on the Roller Coaster