Monday, December 27, 2010

Set Up for Failure

One thing that really bothers me is being told I have set myself up for failure. During my relationship and marriage to my husband, I have been told this numerous times for reasons I consider to be pure ignorance and ridiculous.. and even extremely judgmental.

I have heard that being married is setting our relationship up for failure. I have learned that MARRIAGE has made our RELATIONSHIP stronger, and is indeed a lot different from a relationship that is not "married"- The change is not our marriage license or my rings, those are sentiments to my marriage. The difference is on a much more personal and deeper level than the TITLE I proudly carry as his wife.

I have been told that because he is military that our marriage will fail. This based on Bogus divorce statistics. I do not allow myself to conform, nor focus on statistics. They are silly and do not define the future of my marriage or anyone else's marriage unless YOU let it define your own.

The Number ONE thing that gets to me, and is the reason this post popped in my head, is hearing people bash others when they have a tattoo for their Significant other. Do I have a Tattoo for my husband? Yup. Does it have his name? Yup. Has it changed our Relationship or Marriage? Nope! I have heard so many negative things about having my husband's name on me. Do I regret it? No, ACTUALLY I want another Tattoo for him, and He wants another for me! :)

I hear people say I will regret it, we are going to end up in divorce for it, it is a curse... etc. Well, for starters. I am not superstitious and a "Tattoo" does not "Curse" someone. Which is the same as saying it is setting one up for Failure. It is rubbish.

To me, I see my tattoo as a Statement. It is saying, "I have enough faith and belief in my marriage, and I am not afraid to permanently mark my body to show it.". My tattoo is a sentiment to me. Something I don't ever want to get rid of, just like other things you may have had since you were a child. They are sentimental in value to you. My tattoo is that to ME.

Someone stating that because I have a tattoo, my marriage will fail would be like me saying to that person that their marriage will fail because they don't believe in their marriage enough to put something on them that will permanently be there to show it. Neither is true, and saying either would be ignorance.

I also hear people who say "I would never get his name, it's stupid. We do have tattoos for each other, but never a name.". This is where I ask, What is the difference? Is it not a tattoo for the other person? They are both permanent reminders of the one you got it for. The difference is, to another person, other than you and the one it is for, the tattoo doesn't look as if it was for someone. But to YOU, you still know the reason you got it. The only difference is a name. The meanings are still the same. Why did I get my husband's name? Because I want people to know who it's for, I am PROUD to have his name on my shoulder, as he is proud to have my initials on his chest.

My love for my husband will never change. The memories I have with him will always be there. No matter what... and my Tattoo will always be a reminder to me.

No regrets.
Photo was taken for my husband.
WHAT does my Tattoo symbolize to ME? Love. Commitment. Always Faithful. Til Death Do Us Part- One mate for life. Trust. Dedication. And More.


  1. The week before we got married my husband informed me his next tattoo was going to be with my name on it and I freaked out! I freaked out because society doesn't want people to do things like this. I said, why don't we get matching tattoos? His counter-argument was it was the same thing. If I loved him enough to get matching ones, then why not names?

    It took me a while to realize that there was no difference. I have 3 and he has 1... my 3rd and his we went and got them done together. That is something we'll never forget. I'm proud of you for understanding this point of view and phrasing it so nicely.

    Gorgeous picture by the way!

  2. Wow, I can't believe I waste my time reading this crap. Wouldn't a picture of your tattoo be sufficient? You made an entire post in order to put up a picture you think you're hot in? Unsubscribe.

  3. Jessica, Andrea, Jordan- Thank you!

    Sailor Bride- Thank you! :)
    I'm proud to have his name. And when we adopt, I will be adding their name(s) to my body as well.

    Stoplyingcheater- Thank you for reading! And Nice way of going about trying to by anonymous. You idiocy never ceases to amaze me. And do I think I'm hot in that picture? Sure do! I'm very comfortable in my own skin. And This photo isn't new by any means. This photo was taken almost 2 years ago at a modeling photoshoot I was paid for. The photographer and I liked the idea and we did the shoot with my husband in mind. This isn't the first place this photo has been published, and my husband is damn proud of it too.
    You can find the unfollow button at the top of the page. Thank you.

  4. I think this is a great post! And I think you look stunning in your picture.

    I have plans to get a tattoo with a symbol that is important to my husband and I and his initials in it. I don't do this for anyone else other than my husband and myself.

    I don't think things like this are a jinx on a relationship. I think they are like you said a sign of faith in your relationship. And I get tired of people quoting statistics about divorce. Each relationship is different.

    Love the idea of adding your children's names later too.

  5. This is a great post! Thanks, well worded!


  6. Hot diggitty dog!!!!! You are seriously one sexy kitten! Me-ow!!!!

    Loved this post! Have I told you how great of a writer you are lately? Your words are amazing!