As I'm writing this, I have the theme song from Golden girls running through my head. I said I would write about things I have learned through this year of underways and the number one thing that sticks out in my head is the Friendships.. a.k.a. "Support".
Seriously, when my husband and I were talking about this post before writing it.. I belted out singing, "Thank you for being a friend. Traveled down the road and back again. Your heart is true you're a pal and a confidant..."
On to my post...
I have always considered myself a strong person.. I still do, But what is it that helps Military wives stay strong in the long times of separation? Is it staying busy? Maybe it's allowing yourself to break down behind closed doors... or is it setting out to conquer to world that makes us "Strong"?
There are so many things that One can define as what makes them "strong". Again, I think it's all part of dealing with things in our own way, what's best for us that makes any one person "Strong". Crying is not negative (unless it's excessive, then I believe that keeps your mind in a negative state of being).
For me, I have found that while I am a STRONG, INDEPENDENT woman, I still need my support system.
Undergoing the separation from my husband due to the Navy lifestyle, I have found that being strong isn't what gets you ready for a Deployment, or even through the times your apart for any reason from your Significant other. What do I believe gets you through? Your Support System.
Personally, I sought after my husband's command Family Readiness Group for a solid support group of other ladies that understand any of the emotions that come with the military life- looking for understanding. However, I realized not all FRG's are the well organized groups I have read about in several military wife books, so I sought my own support. I didn't want to go at this alone. I wanted a support group of FRIENDS.
That's what I did. Friendships were formed and I now have the best support group that one could ever ask for. My support group, friends, continues to grow. We support each other.. we all have something to offer with our knowledge, compassion, humor, honesty, selflessness, and more.
In relationships that have long separations, I believe it is mostly the people you choose to surround yourself with that makes you "Strong". It is the Support group that holds you up and keeps you from falling.
As a great lady once commented to me, "There is strength in numbers".
Am I ready for this deployment? Yes and No.. In those times that "I'm not ready", or those moments when "This is hard".. I have an amazing support group of friends to lean on, as they do me.
"....And if you through a party, Invited everyone you ever knew, You would see the biggest gift would be from me And the card attached would say thank you for being a friend."
I thought the same song as soon as I saw the title! Now it's in my head. :)
ReplyDeleteI've missed your blogs!
I'm about to send you a semi-exciting message via facebook! Hold onto your hat. :)
Thank you for being a friend to me <3
ReplyDeleteBeautifully written and so true. It is our support group who helps get us through. And we can only be so strong on our own.
ReplyDeletefirst of all, ur precious. and i love ur pinup on ur blog.
ReplyDeletesecond, i'm happy i'm reading this post. i actually chose to move HOME during this deployment and was and HAVE been harshly criticized by people i thought were my friends calling me "weak" or not a true military wife because i'm not womaning up to the job.
here are my thoughts on that:
i moved home to pay off debt. regardless of if i moved home for help or to pay off debt or to be away from military spouse drama on base, the choice was MINE. and being wherever i am, still keeps me away from my lover. yes it's hard. yes i have family here (although moving here actually put me in a situation with LESS help), BUT regardless, i'm still AWAY FROM MY LOVER. i don't think it matters where u are. if ur alone, ur alone. we all do it alone when our guys leave. where we choose to anchor our selves during that time has no bearing on our strength as military wives or what not.
oh and one more thing. i think it's crap when other mil spouses give mil spouses crap for having a hard time during a deployment. my Lover is my best friend, and if this wasn't hard, there would be something truly wrong with our relationship.
i think you're awesome and i think no matter what you do (you in general), you make urself stronger as a mother, a woman and a wife. so rock on lady.
thanks SO much for this heartfelt post. it was truly needed. have a lovely year :)