Sunday, March 13, 2011

A Turning Point

Today, What I have thought for about a week or so now has become even more apparent. The person I should have listened to- I didn't. The one I should NOT have listened to.. I did. Today, was a bit of an eye opener for me. And I'm not upset, really.. I am so very thankful. I'm glad to say that this is a new chapter for me on my "Journey as a Navy Wife".

This is a more personal blog post than some.. maybe even most.

When you find out a close friend is a Pathological liar.. and is the root cause for several good friendships to go sour, you really begin to reevaluate those of which you want to surround yourself with. Especially during deployment. Sometimes, like in my case, it takes time (lots) of time to realize what the cause is or was. You don't want to see the bad when you're close to someone and you trust that person. You trust them.. so you believe what they say. Mental note: Don't trust everything.

A couple months before deployment, my husband said "I don't think that person is a good friend for you. She seems to stir up shit.". He was on the outside looking in. He saw it all- I however, took up for my friend. Now, he's able to say, "I told you so.". I should have listened to him, because he is and was in this situation, a very smart man. Now, I see all too clearly what he saw a bit of then.

This IS my fault. I allowed myself to be susceptible to it, to the lies I was being fed. I didn't doubt that person- I believed them. Now, knowing the issue, I am making a change. This is an eye opener for me and maybe, just maybe some of those friendship's I lost due to my ignorance in believing someone else's petty bullshit lies.. will be rekindled. Maybe not all hope is lost.

I hope all the drama goes away because the drama is beyond annoying and I can't stand it. It's not my drama and I want no part in it or to be associated with it. I'm merely guilty by association at this point.. Now, I'm running from it... from this person.

And again, I am to blame because I allowed it. I gave in to it. I allowed myself to get on that level and believe what I was told.

Now, all that is left to do from this situation: Learn from it. Don't let it happen again, and hopefully.. Just maybe I can work on those lost friendships.


  1. You can't blame yourself soley. Friends are hard work. When you find one that works with you, it really is hard to believe the person you've invested time and energy in can be lying and manipulating you. I hope that from this experience you have learned what to look for but that you don't do what I did and shut completely down in making new friendships.

  2. Ugggh, I feel for you. I struggled with a similar sounding situation just after our wedding two years ago. The great thing looking back is that I'm a better person for it, even if I may be more guarded. Good luck, girl! Trust is a tricky thing… I hope that those lost friendships are healed with time!