Sunday, June 19, 2011

Learning During Deployment

I've been told that Deployment makes you experienced- or "know more" about being a Navy wife- or military wife in general. That somehow 10 deployments means that they know more about deployment than someone going through 1.

What is there to learn about deployment, not about the military.. but actual deployment? You're not going to learn all the ropes to "military life" just because you've been through mulitple deployments.

Talking with a friend last night.. to us, If you're an expert at deployment because you've been through so many- just means you've learned over and over how to live alone. You're an expert at being alone.

I guess deployment can teach you patience. It will show you what homecoming's like.. but really- What has someone who has been through mulitple deployment have on someone who has been through or going through one? Time- More time alone. That is it really.

So, when someone says "come talk to me after you've went through two deployments to say you understand.. etc" I'm pretty sure it doesn't even take going through a deployment to understand that deployment means that you're "alone"/ without your husband. It's the older wives way of "one upping".

Everything else about military life can be learned without even having to face a deployment. You don't have to go through a deployment to know about PCSing... You don't have to go through a deployment to learn to read an LES.. You don't have to go through a deployment to know there is a homecoming at the end of it, to learn about OPSEC, about the bases, the FRG, etc. It can all be learned with Never going on a deployment.

Deployment is his or her job that separates couples and families for long periods of times. It challenges you to do things you would typically do together- alone. It can teach you patience, waiting. It can teach you good communication. Deployment will show you that the "old dogs" aren't always the most knowledgeable but you let a "youngster" come in that has asked questions and has learned about "military things" before even going through a deployment... then they are a "know it all", or should I say, "MrsThinks she knows it all". And some of them feel they are better merely because they are older.

They may have been around longer- but it's clear that not all of them know better or more. Learning isn't just through experience. The best way to learn for some is  by asking questions, and wanting to learn about it.

Honestly, what has this deployment taught me or shown thus far? Facebook is the devil for catty older wives, It has taught me even more about my amazing relationship with my husband. I learned the term, "Boat Boo" in addition to what I've always heard people say "Boat hoe". I've learned that the last weeks of deployment really bring out some individuals true (fake) colors. So, Really.. deployment hasn't taught me anything, it's shown me a few things.. but teaching wise- deployment has nothing to do with that. The only thing I will learn, is to stop being so nice to people and experience a homecoming. Everything else, I could learn without deployment, and able to learn things without being associated as a military wife for many years. There are wives that have been associated with military less than I have and have learned more than I have the same way I have- reading and asking questions (Kudos to you!)

Deployment, is just that... deployment, him doing his job and giving you the challenges of doing everything he helped you with, alone. You don't have to be a military wife to gain that knowledge either.


  1. i enjoy your blogs. I am going through my first deployment and I believe you have hit the nail on the head. it's learning to be alone and do things by yourself. I enjoy your posts .. :)

  2. So true! I never experienced a deployment until my husband got OUT of the military and took a job in a different state. Military isn't the only place where there are deployments, but the few good military wives out there are a great support system for wives in my situation.