Sunday, May 8, 2011

It's Deployment, You're REQUIRED to be MISERABLE!

It's becoming more clear to me that during deployment you are expected to be miserable. It is a requirement. It seems to be Politically incorrect to be Happy.

I say {earmuffs} FUCK that!

Being happy, being independent is OK. And DO NOT let ANYONE tell you otherwise- Do NOT believe that you have to be miserable every single day of deployment, that every day that your Significant other is away you have to be curled up at home crying your eyes out. You DO NOT have to be depressed, and sad. You CAN be happy.

Deployment isn't about being sad. Your S.O. is doing a job for Months away from Family. YOU have the ability to make yourself happy. Deployment has no ability to make you happy nor does it have the ability to make you depressed. YOU DO. It is up to YOU.

YES, being away from your loved one is HARD. NO ONE said it was easy. BUT HOW you deal with it can either make it harder on you or easier. I CHOOSE to make it easier on myself and easier on my husband. If I were making myself miserable every damn day- do you think the time apart is going easy to deal with for you? Better yet, what about your service member? He (or she) has ENOUGH to WORRY about with his/her job! The last thing they need to be worrying about is your Mental state of being, or worrying about if you can take care of yourself.

Well guess what! I AM HAPPY. I Choose to be happy and make the best of my time apart from my husband. He is PROUD of me for making my day to day life run as smoothly as possible- and his.

IF someone happens to tell you that YOU'RE supposed to be miserable.. or that because you're HAPPY that you are a "Slap in the face to those who are weak". Know that they are making themselves miserable. They choose to attempt to belittle you because they have it in their puney little brains that you HAVE to be miserable during deployment. Guess what. YOU CAN BE HAPPY. It IS a choice.


  1. LOVE!

    I have been happy most of this deployment and am really lookig forward to the things I have planned in the final countdown- cooking classes, get togethers with other spouses and girlfriends!

    I can't wait for my husband to be home, but I'm not going to sit by and cry until he does!

  2. That's how I feel when I hear people say they survived a deployment. Really? You just survived? You barely scraped by without your S.O.? That sucks for you. I don't want to merely survive, I want to thrive. Great post!

  3. I agree that you should not have to be miserable when your S.O is on deployment. I have been through 3 deployments and about 20 plus Dets (detachments) 2 weeks home 2 weeks away. One deployment I was diagnosed with a brain tumor and my husband was out to sea while I was doing radiation and chemotherapy. While he was away I learned to stay positive. In my opinion It's easier for him to concentrate on his job, and for the sake of our country, He needed to concentrate so I stayed positive. It's hard when a loved one is away but what can you do? Are you going to be miserable the whole time? Deployments go so much faster and easier when you are not being miserable and depressed. I follow you on facebook and was upset that someone would actually tell you that you NEED to be miserable during deployment. Thank You for writing this blog and being a happy and positive person during your spouse's deployment. It is wonderful to know that there are people like you that support what your husband does! It makes his time go by faster and soon he will be in your arms again!

  4. I love this saying, "if you want to be happy, then be"!

    Again....well written post! Hugs and love you!

  5. Love Love Love this! Somebody has to say this stuff!

  6. I honestly thought I was bad because I haven't had as hard of a time as the last one.. like carrying on with my day-to-day feels right and people are constantly asking if I'm okay and if I need to talk.. NOPE just fine, seriously. The only downside is night time.
    But thank you for posting this!

  7. Amen! I had an amazingly awesome deployment experience last year, and I always hope my fellow spouses can see it as an opportunity for growth and fun. I'm glad it's going well for you!!

  8. I've had more people say to me wow you seem really happy considering your husband is deployed.

    I miss my husband every day but I live my life while he is gone. I've done and experienced many things that I might not have otherwise. Some bad but most of them good.

    Great post!!

  9. Love this!!! It is so true!

  10. I just found your blog via google and Oh my goodness! I couldn't agree more! I'm following you now!

  11. thank you, thank you, thank you for writing this!!! i never understood why some people think that if your spouse is deployed it means you have to be miserable... umm, what?? i'm supposed to be miserable and hate my life for 6+ months? why??? yes, there will be days that i might be miserable, but i can be happy and have a blast with my friends and still miss my husband! thankfully i was smart enough to only surround myself with other strong independent women who knew that happiness was totally okay when our husbands were deployed! you sound like a girl that would fit in perfectly with my group! haha :)