Today I was told that Military Girlfriends have it harder than Wives. No problem that she thinks that.. but she's also looking at if from the perspective of a girlfriend, who has never been a wife.. a Military wife at that.
I do think that Both Military Girlfriends, and Wives have it hard. With some of the emotional dealings.. we may be on the same page to an extent. But me, Personally.. I believe wives have it much harder than someone who is just a girlfriend. I mean that with no offense to anyone. I have been both. So, I am talking from personal experience here.
Most of you know my beliefs on marriage. I'm one of those "Marriage is for life", "Divorce is not an option" gals. I was told by this same Girlfriend that "Wife" is just a title that doesn't mean anything more than "Girlfriend"... that nothing extra comes with it. For me, it's more than my religious views on marriage.. it is also part of my morals.. and everything I have been brought up to believe. I have his last name.. He is mine and I am his. I am very old fashioned when it comes to my beliefs on marriage. Thankfully, I'm married to a great man who feels the same as I do. Back to the point..
Girlfriends have it tough, we all know it can be rough being the significant other to a service member. BUT there is a reason you have the title of just 'Girlfriend'. That is between you and your boyfriend.. whether he hasn't popped the question (he's not ready..), the two of you are waiting, etc. That's between the two of you. BUT you have it no tougher than a wife who is dealing with holding down the homefront. Just like I KNOW I don't have it harder than a military wife with children.. and I'm sure children have it harder than wives emotionally.
The title of a wife means a lot more than just being a girlfriend. Sorry if I trampled anyone's feelings.. this is my belief. Marriage is the unity of 2 families. Being a girlfriend is the beginning state to what COULD possibly turn into something more.. a beautiful marriage.You can be madly in love with each other, but the title of "wife" or "Husband" IS supposed to mean something more. Sadly, too many people take that for granted now days.
I'm told that Girlfriend's don't get the support and respect that wive do. But in all actuality.. You can have just as much support, just depends on where you go to get it from.. and what you do to get it. You have access to the same online forums and support groups as military wives do.
As far as respect.. That's going to be anywhere and not just with a military relationship. Girlfriends are not wives and are seen as being expendable. Tough to swallow, but it's the truth. And I know our FRG will allow girlfriends to the meetings. So will many other Command Family support groups.
Wives ARE held to a higher standard than girlfriends, as they should be. Marriages are supposed to be forever, girlfriends are the trials to finding the one you want to spend "Forever" with. That's how it's supposed to go. On top of being married to the one we [wives] love, we are also married to the military and are held responsible for so much more.
I asked on Facebook "Who do you feel has it harder?". I got a couple Girlfriend votes, and many many wives votes. As already stated, I'm on the Wife vote. For the most part, people seem to feel that it's harder on wives because of everything we deal with on the homefront as well as the emotional aspects of it. Some feel that Girlfriends have it harder because for some there is more distance. I have some that said being a girlfriend was easier because the were apart and were use to the distance when deployment came. Etc. If you are my friend on Facebook you can read the responses. I'm not going to post them here as I had originally intended because this post would become a mile long.. and it's getting there already.
To sum it all up..
We all face some of the same issues emotionally. So, who's really one to say one "Title" ups the other.. however in my situation and many others.. Wives feel we have it harder even emotionally.. and then with all the things that marriage bring as well, bring more challenges than that of a military girlfriend. However, being a girlfriend is hard as well. It can be emotionally draining. It is hard. We both have some stress and anxiety. Some deal with it better than others. For one wife it may be easy to deal with, she is use to it.. and for another, it can be agonizing. The same for the emotional standpoint for a girlfriend.
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| We're on the same team, don't turn this into a cyber fight. |
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Either way, we are all in this together. We all make sacrifices for the lifestyle we are apart of.
