Have you ever felt like time was passing by so quickly, you struggle to keep up? I feel like I'm back where I was a year ago. Trying not to stress, preparing and realizing time is growing shorter until my husband will be deploying again.
This time feels a little different though.
I feel like we are still adjusting to all the changes from his previous deployment. He was gone for 6 months, but during that time we purchased a house, we moved, purchased a new car.. etc. I feel like we're still working on a new routine with his work schedule. I was so use to his TAD schedule before last deployment that I'm honestly not use to seeing my husband home as much as he has been. It's nice having him home- but sometimes I miss his crazy schedule. My house stayed clean then! But I'll take him home over my clean house any day.
We got use to spending roughly 1 day a week together before deployment. Now, after deployment, we have every day with the exception of a duty day every week. We were in a routine of spending every minute with each other when he was home, and now because we went from having about 1 day to every day, sometimes we feel like we are smothering each other. I guess sometimes its part of it. It's the whole adjusting to only readjust thing. It's a never ending cycle.
Now, we are creeping up on deployment number 2. I guess you could say more than creeping. I look at how many days my husband will be home between now and deployment, with the ship now in full swing with their underway training, and we are back to having limited time left to spend with each other. It puts things back into reality for me, focus on each other but remember to keep stress and emotions in check. Stress- we're working on that. We have a lot to do before this next deployment and I feel as if I've waited until last minute, but I still have a lot of time. It's crazy.
I'm already trying to gather my "Deployment goal" list. Kind of like setting tons of resolutions for the New Year, but for me- it's for deployment. Full of projects, work out goals, weight goals, decorating projects, FRG commitments, etc.
Again with this deployment, I'm probably going to make my to-do list so long and be disappointed in the end because I ran out of time. I do that. I sometimes put too much on my plate and then get so incredibly mad at myself for not succeeding. I think I do this because I do accomplish a lot when under pressure or stressed. I do my best when I'm constantly busy. I think I also do this to myself because I don't want to run out of things to do. I want and I like keeping busy because the time flies so fast, and before I know it, I'm picking up my husband. I refuse to be miserable and I focus on things I want to do, things I want to accomplish. When my husband is gone, it's the perfect time because when he's home- my focus is on him. I sometimes forget what I want, and forget to focus any time on myself (maybe that'll actually be a New Years resolution!).
What are your New Years or Deployment resolutions?