Sunday, October 23, 2011

Past Blog- I Miss You More

During deployment, I guest blogged for Confessions of a Sailor's Wife I eventually wanted to host the post on my blog as well and never did. So, here's finally putting it up. You may see me referring back to many posts here until Christmas. Crazy as it may sound, my own blog is inspiring more posts. I guess that would be a good thing, right?

"I miss you more!" is a common phrase between my husband and myself. But tonight, I sit here and ponder that thought- the ability to "miss someone more". Is it possible?
Lately, I have wondered about it. And the more I think about it.. the more I really think about the saying "Missing someone is missing someone". What exactly qualifies a person to miss the other more?
I have been told by many that I don't miss my husband as much as they do theirs. Why? Because I handle deployment differently. Deployment isn't hard for me. Maybe I will face a challenge during this time- Like having to get the car fixed on my own.. But is that what makes deployment hard? Deployment didn't do anything to me or my car.. Deployment is the distance between me and my loved one. Deployment is a choice my husband made when he enlisted. So, of course I don't hold any hostility toward deployment, and I don't find the distance hard. Distance is a challenge and I like challenges- So, Is that saying I like deployment? Maaaaybe.
I like having to communicate differently with my husband. I LOVE emails. I love sending care packages and I LOVE not getting phone calls often so when I do.. I'm First kiss excited. Deployment isn't hard, Deployment is a new relationship with my husband.
Because I don't find deployment hard, and because I handle deployment very well, does that mean I don't miss my husband? No. It does not mean I don't miss my husband. I miss my husband more than anything. Does it mean I miss them any less, No! Just means I handle deployment and separation due to deployment far differently.
When my husband and I were separated for boot camp and a-school (9 months total), I missed my husband. I didn't miss him more at the end of it than I did in the beginning. The thing that changed was I grew more anxious to be with him. I missed him all the same. This deployment will be the same. Over a month into this deployment.. my "missing him" is no different. I just miss him.
Maybe when someone says they "Miss you more" it's "I miss more things about you". This I can see being true. As time passes, I find more things I "Miss" about my husband. Week 1 & 2.. I DIDN'T miss picking up his socks from the floor. More than a month- I wouldn't mind seeing his dirty, smelly socks everywhere.
I think "I miss you more" is more of a term of endearment. To show how you care for the other. It's like "I love you more". Really and truly.. who can be the judge on who loves who more and who misses who more?
I think it's just another competition. Whether we want to believe it or not, we are always competing... with ourselves, with our Significant others and others in similar situations as us. In the end, it's all the same. We miss each other the same- how you deal with it is the difference.


  1. I actually found this to be VERY true when it came to this year. He went to basic, school, then straight on the deployment. This year has been a long one. But I agree in it's like have a new relationship with mine. Not many women think the way I do, or handle things the way I do. Glad to see I'm not alone.

  2. I just wanted to take the time to say, I absolutely adore reading your blogs. You are such a talented writer, and you speak the truth so perfectly.
    I always wanted to take the time to write a blog, and reading yours really inspired me to take the time to write my own, simply for an outlet.
    I really can't wait to read your next blog. [: