Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Day 03 – Your parents
When I was a baby, My parents were divorced. Before I was 2, my Mom remarried to my now step-dad. My dad remarried to the wicked witch of the west- Which didn't last long (THANK GOD!). A few years later, my dad started dating my now step-mom when I was about 5, I don't think they got married until I was about 12-ish. I can remember dates- no problem, Years.. not so much.
Due to the divorce and the conflict between my mom and dad, my brother and I didn't take the divorce very well. I think because of this, it made us both Very hot headed and we threw temper tantrums like no other- But that's for another day, another blog. This is about my parents.
I saw My dad every other weekend, sometimes for longer spurts over the summer. My dad spoiled us. Sometimes, looking back- I think he did it to play us against my mom, but I never thought of it then. I was somewhat of a Daddy's girl growing up I guess.. but at the same time, I felt like he didn't love me as much as my brother. He would go to all my older brother's sport events, and all the way up to and through high school would go to his band concerts. I hardly remember him going to any of my games growing up. And he never came to my band concerts in middle school. In 4 seasons of soccer, my dad came to just 3 games. One of which he was my ride to and home and it was an hour from home, so I feel like he stayed for that because he had to. He came to one of my band concerts in more than 5 years, and it was my very last ones. When I made all county band and made all-state, he wasn't there. I try not to hold that against him, but my grandparents and friends came to more of my events than he did growing up. I feel like he missed out on what was something super important to me growing up. I love him all the same, but I wish he'd been a bigger part of my life. And even now, I talk to my step mom more than I do my dad... and she and I rarely talk with me being 13 hours from home.
My mom is awesome. I wish I would have known that when I was younger. She was strict on me.. more on me than she was my 3 siblings. Growing up, I held it against her... but now, I'm thankful for it because I know I'm a better person for it. My step-dad has always been there too. He took care of us. Growing up, we weren't rich, we didn't have the nicest of things.. but I think because of this- we appreciated more. They had 4 kids to take care of, and the had custody of my cousin (I think she was 16ish) and she had 2 babies. My mom couldn't work- there was no way to afford child care. She was taking care of 4 babies that were in diapers, then me, my brother and my cousin. I remember eating a lot of Ramen noodles, Spam, Fried Bologna, and potted meat for lunch. I remember my step-dad going hunting all the time to give us food on our table. We raised chickens, we raised rabbits.. my mom had a small garden, they raised food for us. (Yes, we ate rabbit.. it's quite good-you should try it.). We didn't have much, but we had each other. I remember them both being at a lot of our games growing up, I remember my step-dad reading to me when I was just 3 years old... I remember him giving me $5 when I stole the ball from the other team in basketball. My mom always encouraged my artsy-nerdy side. She loved me playing the flute, and the piano. She'd sneak in my room to get my sketch book to show it off to family and friends without me knowing. I think because of that, is why I love graphics so much. I know she is the reason I'm so passionate about photography, she shares it too. My mom and step-dad have been married for more than 20 years now.. I can't wait until my husband and I get to that point.
My parents, all 4 of them, have made me who I am today. I have a little of each of them in me in some way. Some people hate having divorce parents, but I wouldn't have it any other way.