Wednesday, April 28, 2010

We survived A-School

Andreea asked me about my experience with A-School, and I realize now I didn't say too much about it in my blog. So.. Wah-lah.. A blog!

I have heard so many ladies say that Boot camp and A-School were so much harder than deployment. Seeing as I have yet to go through a deployment, I cannot answer this just yet. We are currently preparing for Deployment.. and I have to say, the workups are pretty draining. However, so far.. A-School has been the hardest part I have dealt with as being a Navy wife.

The hubby's A-School was only supposed to be about 7 weeks long. But, little did we know.. it was going to take a while for him to class up... more than 4 months just to class up.

Okay, so yeah, the distance was hard, but I was away from him at boot camp... what's the difference?

We were able to talk every day. And being able to talk to someone every day and not be able to be in their arms, see them, kiss them.. Makes it harder than just boot camp, where our talking was through letters and a few short phone calls. He and I were so stressed just because we missed each other.. and when you're stressed and you get to the point where  you break down, you tend to take it out on the person you're closet too. For me and for my husband, that was each other. Our stress and missing each other lead to a few arguments. We had to learn to really communicate, and talk to each other. We thought we had communicated things well to each other, A-school taught us that we were wrong... but luckily in the long run, it helped us when we were forced to learn that.

Another thing that made it hard was he had freedom to do what he wanted when Liberty was called. Don't get me wrong.. I trust my husband 100% it was just the thought that the things he would go out and do, didn't involve me. I wanted to be apart of his every day life, and wasn't apart of it because of the distance.

A lot of the guys he knew were not married, and some didn't even have a girlfriend. No problem Right? Wrong. Some unmarried guys don't seem to have respect for marriage.. not necessarily that they don't have respect, but that they are single and if your husband is their best friend in A-School... they want them to take part in what they do and totally disregard the fact that he is married and could care less of the consequences. So, needless to say, I hated some of the guys he went to A-school with.

"Tag Chasers" were crazy in Pensacola. Okay, not just "Tag Chasers" but I guess you could say Barracks Bunnies were worse. Girls who are in the military and sleep with everyone. Just nasty. We now call these girls "Boat Hoes"...girls that will sleep nearly with a whole division or more. Some of these girls have absolutely no morals.

Seems there is a lot of pressure to drink in A-school as well. Guys would all pitch in and get a hotel room for the weekend and drink the entire weekend. All the drinking can strain a relationship, especially when it comes to bills that need to be paid.

It is truly hard to explain the emotional stress of A-school. From my experience and other ladies as well. Seems like there was always some kind of trust issue. I trusted my husband like nothing else, and found out he would hide little things just because he feared they upset me.. and in the end, they would upset me more because he hid them. I have found that more than 5 ladies I have met on Facebook also had this problem.

There were several times I questioned whether our marriage would survive the constant strain that was being put on me, on him and our relationship. He questioned it too. But we loved each other and love doesn't quit. Love keeps fighting and doesn't give up. We made it. We survived A-school.

I never want to got through the emotional strain of A-School again. However, my husband's and mine relationship is a lot stronger because of the challenges we faced in A-school.
The workups I am currently getting through, have been a breeze compared to A-School and have just made each of us realize how much we enjoy being with each other. It's made my husband realize a lot more.. but that will be another blog ;)

I hope I answered some of your questions Andreea :)


  1. For me deployment was way harder than A-school. I was pregnant, then suffered a miscarriage and was only able to communicate through email and an occasional phone call. A-school (which was in Pensacola and also took forever for him to class up) was easier b/c he came home on the weekends at least once a month and we spoke everyday. The time difference, him not understanding he needed to calculate foreign exchange before using an atm, and the messiness of the command both at home and on the boat also drove me incredibly nuts during deployment.

    ♥ SailorWifey

  2. Oh my goodness! Someone understands! My husband is in A-School right now and your post totally resonates with me! And I have to admit that his job (rate? I think) makes it so his A-School is really short and he classed-up quicker than most. But even with all that I know exactly what you mean! Thank you!

  3. @SailorWifey
    I'm sorry for your loss. I know how hard it is, and no woman should ever have to go through that. I have had 3 miscarriages. I didn't mention this in my blog, but 2 miscarriages were during A-School.

    What is his Rate? My husband is an AO, and I think the only guys to have a shorter class up rate and length of school are the guys that are "undesignated". It's nice to have others that understand :)

  4. SailorWifey- I'm so sorry you had to go through a miscarriage while your Sailor was away. I know how hard my 3 were (and have been) even with my man right there. You are a strong woman!

    Christina- You've got it, my husband is "undesignated" APAC :)

  5. This story makes me feel kind of better. My fiance is in a school in Pensacola right now and I feel like I am going crazy for all the reasons you mentioned. Now I dont feel so crazy.