Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Focus Dude

Deployment is days away (Officially released) and it's really starting to hit people- hard. So far, I'm good. I feel focused. I'm not allowing myself to focus on the fact my husband is leaving for months soon, but am focusing all I have on myself, my husband and our relationship. I believe that is the most important thing- keeping your head in check, and remembering to not put effort toward the thought, "he's leaving", but on keeping the relationship strong.

I believe if you put all your focus on deployment, you forget to pay attention to what's really important at that very moment, which is yourself, your husband and your relationship (and children if you have any- I do not, so I cannot speak on that). When focusing on deployment, you allow yourself to become negative. It's not even so much the deployment- but the countdown to deployment. It allows you to feel depressed, complain, and a lot of unneeded anxiety. Every post made about not being ready, every complaint is negative energy, anxiety put toward an issue when right now is the best time to force positive energy to helping your sanity as well as your significant other. 

See the positives over the negative. It's not always the easiest thing in the world to do, but trust me, there are positives if you let there be. 

Appreciate the days you have. You can prepare for deployment without putting so much negativity into it. Negative energy will only pollute your mind and I believe, it will make the day of deployment much harder for you. 

It's ok to feel like you're not ready. I mean, we can say that we are completely prepared, but truly.. I don't think we can honestly love our other half and be ready for them to leave on a mental aspect- physically ready, yes. In the physical aspect, My husband and I are ready. Mentally, you always want a few more days, even if you have the mentality of, "Let's just get this started so we can get it over with.". Where the negativity plays a large role is when that is all you focus on, when leaving is all you think about and all you talk about. I believe it's an unhealthy mindset. 

I know my husband is leaving, We've known it for months. We prepare mentally by focusing on time with each other and by appreciating that time. Even if we're out purchasing something to take with him, we don't allow that to be the focus- the focus is spending time together. No negativity. Just breathe and stay calm. 

He wouldn't have chose you if he didn't KNOW you could do this. He wouldn't want to be with you if he didn't think you were strong. 


  1. Amen sister. My husband is currently deployed (also in the Navy) and I remain positive throughout. Plus, positivity doesn't take up nearly as much energy as negativity. I struggle with my negative thoughts in regards to OTHER negative people. I have difficultly seeing other women's posts that center around weakness, complain and codependecy. And I want to scream to them to stay positive!!! But I also know that in the past, different groups of women respond differently. I know for myself, I have had to remove myself from groups that were seemingly negative or overly co-dependent. Instead, I try to see the daily joys in having my husband gone (more bed space, eat what I want for dinner, less laundry, etc). And every day I find SOMETHING to be joyous about - even being separated from him for 6 months can form a new type of intimacy with your husband.... I like this post :)

  2. I have just endured sea trials. I know longer times are approaching. I will watch your writing faithfully to learn how you cope. :)

  3. I have just endured sea trials. I know much longer times are approaching. I will read your writing faithfully to learn how you cope. :)

  4. i still cannot believe they're leaving again, it seems like just yesterday they were oulling into port. you'll do fine!

  5. Brianna, negative people are definitely poison!

    Terri, it does seem like they just came home! I'm going to make this deployment seem like it's flying by!