My Husband Has an Addiction: Answered Prayers

Many have asked where I've been hiding and what's been going on. I've been keeping quiet for a reason because some things are not meant for public judgement. 

After talking with my husband tonight, he told me to talk about what's going on. He has come to grips with the truth and he is WE are growing from our situation, together. Every situation can have a positive.

In December, I wrote this:

Trapped
You don't have to be an alcoholic to be trapped by alcohol. I don't even care to drink, ever, and I am trapped. It consumes my life, it is sucking the life out of me.  

When you love someone whose life is consumed by alcoholism, you stick by their side. You hope for change; you hope for help. And in the time hoping for some relief, you drag yourself to the bottom with them. You don't even realize you've hit rock bottom until you're there. You don't see a way out and you begin to feel the life you're struggling to make it through day by day is the only one you'll ever know. You can look at the situation from the outside and say you'd leave, but would you? You can't judge unless it is your relationship. 

You tell yourself it will get better. You find reasons to hold on to hope. You convenience yourself you need to stay because you feel obligated to help them. You end up blaming yourself, finding reasons as to how or why it is your fault.  

You feel trapped. 

I've allowed myself to be dragged to the bottom because I love someone so deeply who has an alcohol addiction. I hope this is the bottom, I can't see it getting much worse. 

The consequences of his alcohol abuse does and will affect me. My husband is a wonderful man.- Sober. I'm not sure when or how his addiction actually started, I just know it progressively got worse. It was like Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde; he was two different people. He would do things, and say things he didn't mean and wouldn't remember them the next morning. He would hide alcohol, and couldn't stop at a limit. 

This all does seem to be a wake up call for him. I hope I'm not being naive in thinking it is. He has asked his command for help, and I truly hope he means it and I hope they give it to him.  

I'm at a loss. I don't know what to do or where to go from here. Yet, I still find myself trying to be positive for him. Honestly, after how I was treated when he was drunk this last time, I should have left. I just can't give up on him. I feel that if I give up on him, I'm giving up on me. I said for better or worse, and this is "for worse". I won't give up on him and turn my back on my marriage. I love him too much to walk away.  

Maybe this is God answering my prayers to help him; to help me.

 My husband has had issues with Alcohol for quite some time now, for the majority of our relationship, but it was never uncontrollable or more than I could handle. During our most recent deployment, I knew it was becoming worse. He would spend hundreds on Alcohol during port calls, and sometimes be too drunk to get in touch with me. When he came home, it was like a huge port call to him. Drinking was an every day thing, causing lots of tension between he and I. I would work 8 to 10 hours a day and come home to beer bottles everywhere and my husband passed out from drinking too much. Once, I thought he was dead. I was so frantic when he wouldn't wake up and even felt for a pulse, but because I was shaking so badly, I felt nothing. I smacked him, yelling, "Please wake up!". Thank God he woke up.

We decided to stay in Virginia for Christmas. We said we needed the time together. He found out he was going to have Duty on New Years, so rather than taking Christmas leave, he took New Years leave because he wanted to go to a New Years party. This meant he had Duty on Christmas Eve. He had been drinking excessively up to Christmas Eve. He promised he wouldn't drink for Christmas Weekend. He left for duty and wasn't supposed to be home until Christmas morning.

Christmas Eve night, he drove home. He walked in the door and he couldn't walk straight, couldn't look straight and his uniform was ripped. He reeked of liquor. He was so drunk he was convinced he was sober. I was angry, but I refused to show it because I knew it would spark an argument. Drinking and driving is something I'm severely against, and something that really gets under my skin, especially after I lost my best friend in 2008 just after she turned 18.
He could sense I was upset and decided he needed to go back to the ship; He wasn't supposed to have left the ship (nor drink) in the first place. I told him I would take him back and he started to get upset, so I took his keys. He was in no shape to drive and there was no way I was going to let him. Things got ugly from there and eventually, a friend came and took him back to the ship.

Some time during all the chaos, he lost his military ID. By the time he got back to the ship, he had already forgot everything that had happened. He emailed me to ask if I knew where his ID was, after being escorted on the ship. Honestly, I ignored his email.
A few hours later, extremely early into Christmas morning, he emailed again. He had started to sober up and they were telling him what had happened and how much trouble he was in. He was a mess and apologizing. I didn't respond to that email either.

Early the next morning, his Lieutenant called me. He asked how I was and asked about everything that happened at home. He then asked if I wanted my husband home or if I wished for him to remain on the ship. My husband was now sober, I wanted to talk to him, so I gave them permission to release him.

He came home to the mess he created and absolutely lost it. He didn't remember anything, he was just seeing the aftermath and the strain he put between us. He broke down. For several days he just stayed in bed. He wouldn't eat, he'd just sob. 

He asked, "Why are you still here? You deserve better.". Yeah, I guess a lot of people would leave. But I know who he really is and he was overcome with a disease called alcoholism. So, I told him the truth, "I love you. When we got married, I said for better or worse. This is a worse. I know you, and when you drink, you are not yourself. I believe in you and I'm not giving up on you. I'm not giving up on us.". 

When someone says, "Alcohol brings out the true person someone is" I believe that to be the biggest crock of poo. My husband has many personalities as a drunk and you never know which one you will get. Sober, he has just one and, to me, is one of the greatest men alive. 

My husband did get in trouble with the command. And thankfully, because of his hard work and dedication along with his good conduct record up to that point, his punishment wasn't as severe as we had expected. Honestly, we thought he was going to get kicked out. It was the most terrifying thought. 
He had to go in front of the disciplinary board on February 12. We didn't know what would happen from there, they said they'd let him know within a few days. The next day, he had to go to the XO and before that found out he would be going to Mast. He was honest with the XO and because of that, the XO said that he would speak with the CO about being lenient. 

He wasn't told a Mast date, but Valentine's Day, I came home from work to a dark empty house. Empty as in he wasn't home. Thankfully, I was able to get in touch with a mutual friend from his division and he let me know. His first class was supposed to call me, but to this day.. never heard a word. Thank goodness for the mutual friend to let me know what was going on. 

My husband was given a 15 days restriction as well as $850 was taken from this month's pay (youch!). He spent 15 days on the ship, with no contact with me (with the exception of a few emails). Straight from Restriction, he was sent to rehab, where he is currently until the first week of April. 

Rehab is for 35 days. I get to see him on Sundays for a few hours. We don't get to talk much at all. He is constantly bouncing around from class to class as well as AA. 

Some people have said how strong I am for staying. But I know that some people see me as weak for not leaving. I don't know that either category pertains to me, nor do I care what category I fit into. I do know that the past few months have been hell; stressful, emotional and draining. But I can gladly say there is light at the end of the tunnel. 

It's not about being strong or being weak to me. To me, if something's broke, and fixable... fix it. I prayed and prayed for him, for help for him. God answered my prayers. It definitely wasn't what I had in mind when I prayed for help, but God delivers. 

Forget the hurrying, just wait

The last post I wrote about my husband receiving orders was months ago. Well, here we are, March 4, 2013 and he still has yet to receive orders.

Then, I was in panic mode. His chain of command told him he'd be going to shore duty, and he was to report in April. However, they never told him where he'd be reporting to. April was less than 6 months away when he told me he'd be getting orders and as far as we knew, he'd be going to Fallon, Nevada. I didn't know if I needed to start packing, not knowing if I should start preparing to list our home for rent, and not knowing if I should look for a place to rent in NV. I was clueless. I was doing a whole lot of hurrying and even more waiting.

Now, I give up on the when and where. Next month is April and he hasn't heard anything as to if he's even still going to shore duty or when he'll be transferring to anywhere. At this point, if he receives orders to leave next month.. it looks like I'll be hanging back a little bit to get things done and I'll meet him wherever the Navy takes him.

Through all of this, I have definitely learned there is no point in panicking over the waiting for his orders. There's nothing you can say to change them, and there is no point in getting all revved up in hurrying to get things done. Chances are, he could get orders here again. 

So, continue on as if he never said, "We could be moving in April". Forget the hurrying, just wait. 

I Walk The Line

You have a blog. You created your blog to vent, to share your experiences, to show people the positives, and with the blog you're welcoming people to view your life.

When you publicly blog, sometimes boundaries need to be set. There's a line you walk and parts of your life you don't want to share with the world. Many things stay private and I believe many things should stay private.

From day one, I had set boundaries. There is a line I wouldn't cross, and that line being I would never write a blog that would portray my husband and/or my marriage in a negative way, UNLESS.. the situation turned into something positive that he and I both could learn from. I also set limitations on how personal I would get when talking about my husband, what he does, etc.

I created this blog as an outlet, but also as a way to share my experiences of being married to a man with a career in the military. To show that this lifestyle can be fun and it doesn't have to be negative as everyone portrays it. Today, I feel like I'm walking the line; Bottling up something I feel the need to talk about, which is Navy related but also crosses the line of being one of the many things that should probably remain private.

If you're wondering why my blog has been "quiet" lately, there is a lot going on on the homefront. It's a bad situation that has ultimately turned positive, but it is a battle for my husband and it's not my story to tell. I feel if I was to talk about how what he is going through affects me, I would feel a weight lifted off my shoulders, and potentially have advice for someone else. However, it is too personal when it comes to my husband and his job.

For now, I feel I have nothing to blog about... I take that back, nothing I can blog about.

Hanging Basket Storage- Not Just for the Bathroom!

I have a million projects going on right now. For once, I'm actually blogging about one! AND I somewhat documented it with my handy-dandy iPhone. I've seen a million photos on Pinterest of hanging baskets on the wall, mostly used in a bathroom. Well, most of those photo links lead to dead links and no explanation, etc. Nothing gets under my skin more than a Pinterest link that leads nowhere. Well, one thing irritates me more, not having an outlet in my bathroom.

I live in an older home built in the early 50's. Sad story, many of these homes weren't built to have outlets in the bathrooms. Honestly, that's one of my biggest pet peeves about this house. The next house we purchase WILL have outlets, lots of outlets in every room- NOT connected to light switches (back on track now..). Because I have no outlet in my downstairs bathroom, and I refuse to use one of those screw-in light fixture adapters to have an outlet in my light socket. Because I refuse to make my light socket about my mirror look ridiculous with the adapter, I'm forced to do my hair in my bedroom, a small bedroom with no room for a vanity.

This is how my hair necessities are were stored:

To me, this is a cluttered mess in the corner of my room. I hate having things in the floor like this.

I have a small space of wall behind the closet door and the the connecting wall. What I thought would be perfect to hang a couple small baskets. My challenge was to find small baskets that were my definition of cheap and that were cute. Baskets are expensive! And I love love LOVE baskets. But I will typically thrift for them. 

For some reason today, I got an itching to just get out of the house. I decided to go hunting for baskets. I went to the Navy Exchange, they just didn't have anything that stood out for me. Everything was too big or not aesthetically appealing in my eyes. So, I went to Wal Mart. I loathe Wal Mart, but yet I'm always there. Today was no different, it was a fail. I walked out empty handed. I decided to try target, but went in with the mindset of anything I would find to fit what I saw as "perfect" in size and style would be "expensive". 

I stepped into the aisle with baskets and I saw them. They were cute, perfect size and even had a pretty liner in them. I expected them to be about $10 each and almost didn't even pick them up. But to my surprise, they were only about $5 each. The baskets cost more than I would typically spend, only because I'm thrifty, but $5 per basket still was "Cheap" considering how perfect I thought they were. 

Then I realized I needed some sort of hook. I don't trust the hooks that have the tape on the back. I've never had any luck with them. I need some sort of small hook that would be nailed into the wall. I found hooks which were too large and I was getting a little bummed thinking my project was not going to get finished today. I happened to walk by frame hanging hooks. After studying the different sizes and style, I grabbed a simple Heavy-duty frame hook pack. It was a 4 pack, exactly what I needed for only about $2. 

For about $12, I walked out with everything I needed for my project! Score!

Are these baskets not cute? And those who know me, or follow me on Instagram, know they are so.. "ME". When I got home, I grabbed the leveler, a pencil and a hammer and I dove straight in for my project.

First, I marked the wall for the first basket's hooks, one for each end. Then, I nailed the hook to the wall. The nails were somewhat of a pain in the rear to hammer in on my textured walls because they go in at an angle. But, I figured it out and somehow kept the two hooks level! Go me! After I got the first set of hooks up, I stretched part of the weave on the basket to easily, but tightly, fit over the hook. I check to make sure my basket was level, jumped up and down out of excitement and started on the second basket. 

After I admired my work, I filed the baskets with all my "junk". Guess what! They are still level, so I think I did a good job! Woot!

Now, I feel like my bedroom is fully organized and I don't have that little clutter spot bugging me!

I hope you find this as Pinteresting as I did! Do you see what I did there? ;) 

always a nerd.

Follow me on Pinterest: http://pinterest.com/mrscrush/

State of Adjustment

As many of you may know, homecoming was more than 3 weeks ago. I've been slacking on posting! We are slowly working our was out of the adjustment phase. You know, the one where I wince at the huge pile of laundry brought home from the boat, where I wake up in the middle of the night because he stole all the blankets or I have an elbow in between my shoulders, having to walk behind him to turn out lights- or having to turn on lights because it's like he's been living in a bat cave for months!... etc. It's awesome having him home, don't get me wrong, but it is an adjustment.. for both of us. The first couple weeks you just want to spend every second of the day with them and you sometimes smother them or the other way around. We are guilty of it. Communication is sometimes another adjustment. We are so use to talking very little and only through email that we sometimes find the room very quiet or not having anything to say. For me, personally, I'm trying to figure out a schedule. I work 30 hours a week at a credit union, plus run my own business and trying to make sure my husband and I get the time we need together while not fully exhausting myself is a bit of a juggling act. I figure I'll get it all figured out sometime soon. I'm taking most of December off from the photography so I can get some relaxing time in. He and I have decided to do a weekend away after the first of the year. I made sure to tell him a large jetted tub is required wherever we stay. He agreed. He was very tense and stressed when he came home. Honestly, I thought It was me and he kept saying there was nothing wrong. However, after more than 5 years with him, I can tell he was stressed. Then, I figured it out. The quotas were coming out and he was stressing over making rank. The quotas were high, which got me excited for him because I knew he put a lot into it all this deployment. Then, the results came out. We stared obsessively at the computer screen, refreshing often as we waited for his rate and the rank he was up for to be released. He pulled it up and was searching for names he knew and I looked at him and said, "Forget the other guys right now, let's find your name!". It made me think he doubted himself. He scrolled down, "I made it!". In that moment, all the stress rolled off his shoulders and he was a different man. Much more relaxed and he was talking more, laughing.. everything was back to the pre-deployment normal. Thank you, Jesus! Now, we.. well, mainly ME, are stressing over new orders. With the Big E decomming, everyone is receiving new orders. He has been told, verbally, he is going to shore duty. When? Sometime around April. Where? Not a clue. So, we wait. The waiting/ last minute moves is one thing that I struggle with with his job. I like planning and knowing what's going to happen. And as many of us know- their jobs make our lifestyle very spontaneous sometimes. One thing is for sure- it'll never get boring. Anyway, back to homecoming. November 4th, my husband came home. Monica from Cocoa Bean Photography was able to capture our big day for us again. I can't wait to see the images! I loved ours from Last year, and I'm super excited to see these! He called me from the flight deck, "I see you, look up.". I do believe my heart skipped a beat when I saw him. I was SO excited! It took a while for him to come off. Oh the life of having a husband on a Carrier- you really learn to wait sometimes! My husband came off the ship a little lighter than when he left, but with a bigger chest and shoulders. AND with a mustache. Go figure, lol. I looked to my left and did a double take. My husband was walking toward me. I can't remember if I ran to him or walked really fast.. It's all a blur. I just remember his arms around me, and feeling like there was noone else on the pier but the two of us. I remember my heart racing and how perfect that moment felt. This deployment started out very hard for us with loosing another baby just after he left and not even knowing I was pregnant until I was being told I was miscarrying. It was very hard on both of us. We still haven't really sat down and talked about it. It's hard for him to really say how it affects him. But I know how bad it hurts him, so I'll let him talk about it in his own time. He's home, we're adjusting and the journey continues. "I think I'm constantly in a state of adjustment." -Patti Smith

Finding Inspiration

After receiving a message from Maggie Mae on my Facebook fan page (and sending her a novel for a reply), I decided to write a blog about the question she asked:

Most of my ideas come from my husband, he just doesn't know it. The things he says, asks for or does.. I just go with it. For example:

My Zombie box idea spiraled from my husband's love of the show, The Walking Dead (awesome show!). When the stories of the "Bath Salt Zombies" started popping up, my twisted little mind went to, "Care Package!". With the help of amazon.com and neatoshop.com, the box was a huge success! I pretty much got the "bad ass" award for that one (AND Duck brand duct tape sent me an email about it! Totally cool!).

The Pickle box, totally came from him as well. He's obsessed with Pickles. He asked me to send him some Pickle flavored sun flower seeds and I decided an entire box of Pickles was perfect!

Again, the Super Hero box idea came from him as well. He and his buddies were able to watch The Avengers on the ship. I guess they had a discussion about costumes or something, and he requested pictures of him as child in a Captain America costume (I blogged about that too). He would be missing our anniversary, and I thought "You're my Hero" was PERFECT for an anniversary box. He has yet to receive it, but I KNOW it will be a HUGE hit with him.

The Ducktape idea came from sheer laziness but the need to be creative and make things, "Pretty". Duck brand made that too easy for me last deployment, so I continued it and will do so in the future as we have 16+ years of more deployments.

You get the idea.

Best advice I have, Listen to your service member. Think of things they like and make it fun. Yes, it is expensive, but honestly, their reaction is always worth it. It's another way I keep my husband and I connected (communication). They will always say something, ask for something, like something.. etc, that can be turned into a fun box.

Look on Pinterest.com, the ideas are endless. I even have an album where I occasionally pin general military ideas, posts, etc (All Things Military).

Follow other military family bloggers or talk to others who are sending packages as well. We all have unique ideas and you can learn and get ideas from others.

Saddest part of deployment ending? I can't send Care Packages to my husband. I might have to adopt a deployed service member!

If you ever have any questions, feel free to Facebook message me on my fan page or via Formspring (Facebook might be faster!).

You're My Superhero

Four years ago today, was a day that changed my life.

July 13, 2008: My boyfriend sent me a text which said to meet him outside when he pulled up. I had my suspicions what he was about to do. He pulled into the driveway at my parent's house and I walked out to meet him. He looked nervous, very nervous. He got down on one knee, in my mother's flower bed and pulled out a box. He asked, "Will you Marry me?".

Several days later, we were asked by his mom, "When are y'all setting the date for?". As I started to reply and say we had yet to discuss it, he interrupted with, "September". Of course I thought he meant September 2009, but he corrected me. "This September", he said. Of course, I had a bit of panic, I'm sure, show in my face. Two months to plan a wedding. I was marrying a crazy man. Of course, he reassured me why he was the perfect man for me. Knowing it was a bit of a concern for me, he told me, "I want us to get married before I leave for boot camp. I want to make sure you actually get a wedding since everything with the military will be so unpredictable. I want to know you're taken care of while I'm gone.". Couldn't say no after hearing that. I felt all warm and fuzzy inside.

After deciding a month, we then had to decide on a date.. well, he decided on a date. Of course, it was football season, and There was no way we could get married on a big game for the Vols. So, he chose the 27th. No big games to conflict with. He's a goof.

September 27th: I was nervous. I got all dolled up in my white and ivory dress, had my hair done and my makeup was perfect. We had almost all the important people in our lives there for our big day, to watch, to congratulate us, to help me get ready and to share our day with us. I was so ready, anxious and a bit scared. We were young and we were RUSHing it (pun intended, as my last name is Rush). But I had never been so sure about something in my life.

The music was playing, guest were arriving.. things were getting started. "The Prayer" by Charlotte Church and Josh Groban started playing, Our parents walked up the aisle, lit our candles and took their seats. Anchors Aweigh started playing (This is what he wanted), and our Bridal party walked out. The Wedding march started playing and I was walked down the aisle. Seeing him up there, amazing. Him grinning, I'll never forget it. Our Unity candle song was, "Nothing Else Matters" by Metallica. We caught a lot of hell for it, but it's a perfect song. We walked down the aisle together to "Walk the Line" by Johnny Cash. My husband and I are huge Cash fans. Our Cake cutting song was, "Just Eat it" by Weird Al. We wanted our Wedding to be very, "Us" and laid back. We had fun, together, and with all of our friends and family. Started our Honeymoon with a Titan's game, went to the Smokies for a couple days and finished it with a ZZ Top concert. It doesn't get much better than that.

Fast forward, September 27, 2012: I haven't killed him yet, totally kidding.. I'd go crazy without him. He's still my absolute best friend and I couldn't and wouldn't ever ask for a better husband. Seriously, I married my hero. He doesn't have to be wearing a cape, have super powers or even be a service member to be a hero. He is my everything, he makes me laugh, I can't stay mad at him, he brings so much happiness to my life.

This year is the first year we have been apart for our anniversary. I know, I'm lucky for that. And even though he's thousands of miles away and I may or may not get to talk to him at some point today.. I know how much today means to him, and to me.

I have to admit, I did have a lot of fun making his care package for our anniversary. I went with a Superhero theme because, well.. he's my Superhero (And he's a bit obsessed with Batman).

I didn't get as creative as I wanted. I had 2 pics of him when he was a kid dressed as Batman and as Captain America, as well as a pic of us a couple years ago dressed as the Joker and Batman.. err, girl that I wanted to put on the box, but alas, I ran out of time and out of ink.

I try to make every box fun, or "funny". Hence the Iron Man big boy undies. ;)

Musket, my cat, wanted to join in on the fun too..


Even thought it's not exactly what I wanted to do with the box, I know he's going to love it. And of course I had an awesome time getting it together and decorated. Oh, and I bet you anything he's going to prance around the berthing in the Iron Man undies. I was going to make him a cape, but I ran out of time to send the box and there was a lack of time to actually make it. So, no cape :(

Another exciting note? This was the LAST box before he comes home. :D
Homecoming is just around the corner. SO exciting!

Perfect

Four years ago this week, I was panicking, stressing and extremely nervous. On top of that, I was extremely excited. Four years ago,  I was only days away from marrying the most perfect man.

Fast forward to four years later, today, and I'm feeling those same emotions- but not for a wedding, and I'm not stressing over my anniversary, but I am stressing about homecoming. It creeps up on you and you wonder where all the time has went and how come your to-do list isn't done yet. Thoughts like, "Has he changed?", "Will he look at me different?", "Will he love me the same?", "I just want everything to be perfect" and more sometimes go through your head.

The most stressful parts to a deployment, to me, are the time leading up to him actually leaving, the final countdown to homecoming and then about a month after they've been home. There's a lot of adjusting, preparing, worrying, stressing, excitement, etc. Did I mention adjusting?

That's one thing about this lifestyle you either learn to love, or you learn to hate- in my opinion. Luckily, I thrive under pressure, even if I don't always like it. I get things done and get them done damn near perfect. It's the perfectionist in me. I want everything perfect. But let's face it, nothing is perfect. But, you make them perfect in their own little way.

Like my husband says, "Everything will be perfect, just being home with you is perfect.".

Perfectly said.

This is the time I have to remind myself to breathe, to relax while at the same time.. I'm telling myself to hustle, get busy and get things done. I fight with myself a lot on that.

This week, I have a lot to do. But, I'm going to make sure I take time this Thursday, September 27th and stop and do nothing but have fun. September 27th marks my 4 year anniversary to my perfect husband. He's not perfect, neither am I, but he is the perfect one for me.

I Just Keep on Going, and Going, and Going..

I'm now at that time in deployment where my "to-do" list is far longer than the "days left". It's sad. 

Yes. My to-do list IS that long. 

With the amount of rain Hampton Roads has been getting lately, many of my outdoor projects have been halted. 

Now, I'm trying to prioritize and I'm working hard at not stressing myself out.

This is the hardest part of deployment, for me... Conquering my "list". Remember months ago when I said I always put more on my Deployment To-do list than I have time to complete? I wasn't kidding.

I still have 2 1/2 rooms to paint (bathroom is 1/2 done), table to refinish, patio to complete, fence and shed to install and those are just a few of the important things on my list. And guess what?! I only have XX [insert some relatively low number here, but one that isn't low enough to pee my pants with excitement] days left!

Am I stressing yet? eh, borderline. 

I'm not quite stressing, but I'm getting there. Between working the part time job, full time with my photography, Promo jobs as I can score them... I haven't been giving myself a day off. 

I did this to myself last deployment. I made myself completely mad at myself because I made my list a mile long and continued to add to it- and, of course, I wasn't able to complete it. Deployment number 2 is no different. My list is 2 miles long and I've added at least 50 (it seems) things to the already ginormous list.

Why do I make my list so long? I like to be busy. I do not stop. I AM the Energizer Bunny. I just keep on going. Granted last week, and the 2 weeks before that, I was sick and I just stopped and slept ever second I could, when I wasn't working. So, because I was sick, I feel I am slightly more behind and overdrive needs to kick in. Although, I feel as if I was already in overdrive.. 

I like to physically and mentally exhaust myself. I work well under pressure and even when stressed. Probably not good for my heart.. but I've always been this way and I don't think it is something I can easily change.

So, this week's goal(s): Finish painting bathroom, Paint bedroom Hang new curtains in bedroom, paint office,   hang curtains in office, Make one huge Goodwill run and put a lot of "junk" on the curb for trash pickup. 

I think that's plenty to put on my plate for the week considering I have 3 days to work the part time job and 3 sessions this week, plus 2 to finish editing. 

But when I want a day off, I am rewarded in many ways.. Like this awesome session:

See, who could have a bad day with such adorable little boys in it? Not me. He was precious! 

Today's agenda? Work. Photography. Paint.

Perks in the Work Place

Something to consider when you're in a relationship with someone who is in the military, it is their job. They can't take off whenever they want, they can't call, email, Skype, etc. whenever they want. Why? Because it's a job.

That being said, if YOU have a job- it's the same thing. You can't drop everything you're doing to talk to them if they are able to call, email, etc. I understand wanting to talk to your significant other, trust me, I do. BUT a job is a  responsibility you accept.

Does it suck to miss a call? You betcha, I've been there.

Seeing people bash their employer because they can't stop "working" to chat with their significant other is ridiculous in my opinion. You are not getting paid to converse with your SO.

It's another one of those situations where some military wives feel they are owed something. Just because our loved ones are deployed, doesn't give us the right to go against a company we work for's policy.

It is awesome when jobs have leniency and give us the ability to stop everything we are doing to take a phone call, or respond to an email. However, there is a business to be ran and they hired you to help in it.

Think about it..

You run a business, someone calls for one of your employees- say the person calling isn't deployed, they aren't given the privileged to speak to that person because they are working. You have a military spouse whose husband is calling, but you give that person time to talk... see where I'm getting at?

Just because we are married, dating, mother's of, etc.. does not give up the added luxuries to have added perks in the work place.