When I turn 25..

Dear soon to be 25 year old self (February 20),

Times up! All the things you had wanted to accomplish by the age of 25, you didn't do all of them. Slacker.

But I'm proud of you. 

When you're 16 years young, 25 seems forever away. You're supposed to have everything figured out by then, all your dreams should have come true by now... psh. You lied to yourself. 

By the time you turned 25, you had a list of things to accomplish- things that you saw as being the right thing to do- things you needed to do by 25. 

Here were your top things to do by the time you turned 25:

Go to college

Get married

Buy a house

Buy a new car- SUV (mommy vehicle)

Have a career

Have 2 kids

Go to college: You should have been more specific. Maybe you should have told yourself to "finish college". So, in a sense, you accomplished this Goal. You went to college for one year. I don't think you realized how much the real world cost... and even though you paid for your own things (car, insurance, phone, clothes), there were a lot of expenses you didn't think to consider. 

Get married: You succeeded. At 25, you have been happily married for more than 3 years. Although, at 16, marriage was a Fairy Tale. And in ways, it is your very own Fairy Tale. But it's also a lot of work to keep things working smoothly. You've learned so much about what a relationship is and how a Man is supposed to treat you. He would do anything in the world for you. He pushes you to be better and to go after your dreams. You always said you'd marry your best friend, and you did, you just didn't know him then.

Buy a new car: Speaking of that great husband... He's too good to you. He took you to a dealership where the two of you purchased you your first SUV, and first new vehicle. Only the second car you've owned since you have been able to drive. Go you!

Buy a house: You cut it close, but in July of 2011 you crossed another mile-stone. You and your husband purchased your first house. Small, but more than enough room for you, your husband, 3 crazy animals and one day.. a little one. Now, get busy on all those home projects you want to do you found on Pinterest!

Have a career: You're still working on this. You're starting to really get somewhere with your photography career. You're still in the beginning stages, but you've learned so much to better your business and skills since becoming serious about photography to make it more than an obsessive hobby. Every session you improve. You can see it yourself. If you see it, I'm sure others do as well. Keep it up. You'll have the career you want if you stay on the path you're on now.

Have 2 kids: Fail. But good things come to those who wait- even if it's not by your choice, but your body refusing to hold a baby right now. When it happens, you're going to be a good momma. Just stop being so hard on yourself right now. If you can't have babies, there are other options. Even if it is hard to stomach not having your own. Afterall, you use to say you didn't want to have kids of your own. You wanted to adopt because there were too many unwanted kids that need a family to love them. You may get your wish after all. I know you say you're ok with waiting until you're 28 to really be serious about kids, but I know you. You're bothered because you want a baby so bad, and it's hard knowing every time your  body says no. I know you're just scared of facing yet another miscarriage. Keep your head up. Big man upstairs has something planned for you.

It's crazy how fast time flies. How much you've grown up in 9 years. 

So much changes. 

Happy 25th Birthday.

Here's looking at you kid,

Your [almost] 25 year old self

I Got an Email and You Didn't!

Sometimes I wonder if the girls who constantly post they talked to their husband, if they are trying to one up? I guess it's possible. It's nauseating. I mean that in the sense that it's posted so much by the same person(s) over and over that it sometimes seems as they post it while thinking, "ha ha ha, I heard from my husband and you didn't", in dramatic 5 year old kid voice. I'm not just talking about 1 post... I'm talking about several posts within a very short time frame about their 1 sentence from their husband, etc.

It's great. It's wonderful they get to speak to their husband. But then I see how those posts effect other people. The girl's whose husbands are too busy to write that night or the ones who made the decision to save money and not call every night, the constant bragging can get to these girls. I've been there. Thought, "Well good for you!", sarcastically.

This is the reason I don't post when I hear or don't hear from my husband. I don't want to "rub it in" and I surely don't want to make someone feel down because they didn't hear from their Significant other. Every now and then, it's ok- But the Every.Single.Form.of.Communication is daunting. When you have friends in the same situation (as in a loved one is away), it can wear on you.

I decided to write about this because, a.) I have thought this several times, b.) talking about it to a friend recently and c.) I've seen a couple gals post about how it makes them feel seeing people repeatedly post about their constant communications.

I get excited for friends when they hear from their SO's, but it's only happiness for those who rarely post about it. I can't find myself being happy for the ones who constantly post about it because to me, as often as they post.. it's routine for them. They will be the ones to gripe constantly about lack of communication when they go 1 day with nothing. And they come across, to me, as needy.

I know, it's their page... they can post as they wish. True. But nonetheless, it doesn't change how it can make your friends feel.

Man up and Get a Real Job

Sometimes I wonder what my husband is fighting for. WHY did my husband join the Military?

I ask this question to myself because there are so many ungrateful people in this world. There are people who have told me my husband needs to man up and get a "real job".

Some people assume my husband has everything handed to him and he gets all these crazy bonuses throughout the year, and that he just sits around on a cruise ship.

Someone straight up saying they don't support the military, not just the cause, but saying they can't stand the military. They don't see the military protecting us, protecting our rights.

I've been told that most of the military is made up of Paper pushers, the Navy doesn't get put in harms way, and our military is full of murders who are fighting for some sand [horrible horrible word I refuse to quote] to have rights. I've heard more and I've heard worse.

It upsets me because I believe in our military, especially my husband. It makes me sad to know these are people our military is protecting. These people have the right to voice their opinions because People like my husband have decided to be SELFLESS and protect their rights, protect our country to the best of their ability and say nothing when these people show how ungrateful they really are.

It's great that people can freely express their opinion, all my readers know I LOVE doing so. But what gets me is when these people see it more than an opinion. They see their opinion as a hard fact. I know it's ignorance, pure ignorance. They don't know anything about each job or branch in the military. They see wives as just wanting the money and benefits when they know nothing of either. The only thing I have heard from some of these that I do agree with is the fact we did sign up for this, but that doesn't mean that it is an easy transition for everyone.

It makes me sad for my husband. I know how hard he works, I know some of the things he has seen, some of the things he's had to do. It's not an easy job for him. But he enlisted because he wanted to make a career out of the Navy. He told me he wanted a job with purpose.

I may not agree with a lot of the decisions the military is asked to carry out, but I do support them. I support my husband. It's hard for me to stand by and not defend my husband when people say things like this. I know it's ignorance on most of it. They just don't know. But it's one thing I can loose my temper on quickly, especially when it turns in to direct attacks on my husband, myself or my family.

When You're Gone

To my husband,

When you're gone, I sleep in the middle of the bed, only to still somehow get pushed off by our beast of a dog.

When you're gone, I buy organic milk because I don't waste it due to not being able drink it before it expires.
I also like organic better, and you do not. So when you're gone, I enjoy drinking and cooking with Organic milk.

When you're gone, I eat Mexican food multiple times a month. You hate it, I love it and when you're gone, it's the only chance I get to have it.

When you're gone, I can keep our house clean(er). You're a slob. When you're gone, I no longer have a million pair of socks thrown everywhere.

When you're gone, I sleep with the TV on- with no volume. You know I'm scared of the dark (sigh) when I'm alone... but I'm a light sleeper when it comes to sound.

When you're gone, I eat more fast food. I guess that explains why I didn't lose any weight last deployment.

When you're gone, I create a project list too long to complete by the time you come home and get extremely frustrated with myself because I don't complete everything.

When you're gone, the house stays very quiet. All the noise heard is my pecking away at this keyboard or me occasionally singing at the top of my lungs to Pandora or iheart radio. Be glad you're not here for that.

When you're gone, we save money. You really do spend a lot! >.<

When you're gone, the bed stays cold. You say I'm a furnace.. but I wake up shivering instead of sweating when you're not here.

When you're gone, it's crazy how big I smile when my phone dings saying I have an email. Or feeling the excitement leave when the email isn't from you.

When you're gone, time flies because I keep so busy.

When you're gone, I miss when you have nightmares, not that I like when you have nightmares.. I just miss how you reach for me like I'm your teddy-bear. It's still heartwarming to hear you write to me to say you had a nightmare and reached for me, but sad to think you ended up with your rack curtain instead.

When you're gone, of course I miss you- but sometimes it's nice regaining my independence. Sometimes we don't realize how much we rely on someone until they are gone.

When you're gone, a lot of things change. But there's always one thing that stays the same: Me loving you more and more every day, and appreciating all you do for me. I couldn't ask for a better husband- even with the quirky little things you do that sometimes push my buttons, I wouldn't have you any other way.

You're my one and only.