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Who am I?
You'd think at 26 years old I would be able to answer that easily. But no, I'm wincing as I write this trying to figure it out.
I don't want to be defined by something so negative. "Oh hey, That's the wife of the guy who drank a bottle of Vodka on the ship and drove home and destroyed Christmas."- That's how I feel some people look at me, how some people define me.
I know, I know. I shouldn't care what people think. I have been taught to not worry about what others think of me, but realistically, at some point... I believe we all worry what everyone thinks.
I am smart, but sometimes I don't make great decisions. I am trusting, too trusting at times, but when you break it, it's almost impossible to earn my trust back. I vent through writing and sometimes say things I shouldn't or I post before I really cool off if I'm heated. I wear my heart on my sleeves and I can easily have my feelings hurt. I'm opinionated. When I have a belief, I won't back down. I'm a fighter for the things I love.
... I am a fighter.
I fight for my marriage, I fight for myself. I won't give up.
I. Keep. Going.
That is what I see in myself right now. I will never give up.
Screw what anyone else thinks, even if sometimes it may bother me. I'll keep going, I won't give up and in the end, I'll be better. Maybe then, people will say, "That girl's a fighter".
Keep on fighting. That's what I do on a daily basis as well. It's hard, but it's all I know how to do. I won't let things defeat me. Maybe I'm to stubborn. But I know what you're going through there...You are lucky though and will eventually get stationed somewhere new. A way for a fresh start. Addiction is hard to deal with, especially in marriage. Good luck.
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