State of Adjustment

As many of you may know, homecoming was more than 3 weeks ago. I've been slacking on posting! We are slowly working our was out of the adjustment phase. You know, the one where I wince at the huge pile of laundry brought home from the boat, where I wake up in the middle of the night because he stole all the blankets or I have an elbow in between my shoulders, having to walk behind him to turn out lights- or having to turn on lights because it's like he's been living in a bat cave for months!... etc. It's awesome having him home, don't get me wrong, but it is an adjustment.. for both of us. The first couple weeks you just want to spend every second of the day with them and you sometimes smother them or the other way around. We are guilty of it. Communication is sometimes another adjustment. We are so use to talking very little and only through email that we sometimes find the room very quiet or not having anything to say. For me, personally, I'm trying to figure out a schedule. I work 30 hours a week at a credit union, plus run my own business and trying to make sure my husband and I get the time we need together while not fully exhausting myself is a bit of a juggling act. I figure I'll get it all figured out sometime soon. I'm taking most of December off from the photography so I can get some relaxing time in. He and I have decided to do a weekend away after the first of the year. I made sure to tell him a large jetted tub is required wherever we stay. He agreed. He was very tense and stressed when he came home. Honestly, I thought It was me and he kept saying there was nothing wrong. However, after more than 5 years with him, I can tell he was stressed. Then, I figured it out. The quotas were coming out and he was stressing over making rank. The quotas were high, which got me excited for him because I knew he put a lot into it all this deployment. Then, the results came out. We stared obsessively at the computer screen, refreshing often as we waited for his rate and the rank he was up for to be released. He pulled it up and was searching for names he knew and I looked at him and said, "Forget the other guys right now, let's find your name!". It made me think he doubted himself. He scrolled down, "I made it!". In that moment, all the stress rolled off his shoulders and he was a different man. Much more relaxed and he was talking more, laughing.. everything was back to the pre-deployment normal. Thank you, Jesus! Now, we.. well, mainly ME, are stressing over new orders. With the Big E decomming, everyone is receiving new orders. He has been told, verbally, he is going to shore duty. When? Sometime around April. Where? Not a clue. So, we wait. The waiting/ last minute moves is one thing that I struggle with with his job. I like planning and knowing what's going to happen. And as many of us know- their jobs make our lifestyle very spontaneous sometimes. One thing is for sure- it'll never get boring. Anyway, back to homecoming. November 4th, my husband came home. Monica from Cocoa Bean Photography was able to capture our big day for us again. I can't wait to see the images! I loved ours from Last year, and I'm super excited to see these! He called me from the flight deck, "I see you, look up.". I do believe my heart skipped a beat when I saw him. I was SO excited! It took a while for him to come off. Oh the life of having a husband on a Carrier- you really learn to wait sometimes! My husband came off the ship a little lighter than when he left, but with a bigger chest and shoulders. AND with a mustache. Go figure, lol. I looked to my left and did a double take. My husband was walking toward me. I can't remember if I ran to him or walked really fast.. It's all a blur. I just remember his arms around me, and feeling like there was noone else on the pier but the two of us. I remember my heart racing and how perfect that moment felt. This deployment started out very hard for us with loosing another baby just after he left and not even knowing I was pregnant until I was being told I was miscarrying. It was very hard on both of us. We still haven't really sat down and talked about it. It's hard for him to really say how it affects him. But I know how bad it hurts him, so I'll let him talk about it in his own time. He's home, we're adjusting and the journey continues. "I think I'm constantly in a state of adjustment." -Patti Smith