I received a phone call from my husband. He was told of an assignment he was given and he said he refused to do it. The assignment was stupid and he said no.

The assignment?

He was supposed to call me and say, "I got kicked out of the program". He was then supposed to take my reaction and report back to his group about it.

Thank you SARP, you officially pushed me a step back. You wanted to play a sick and twisted joke with something that ranks high on the list of, "biggest fears"... Yup, up there with killer clowns. Assholes.

Thank God I married a man that wouldn't do that to me. He said he couldn't do that to me, couldn't purposely hurt me or make me cry.

Realistically, that's what would have happened, I would have been hurt, likely a lot of tears and I'd be angry.
Had this of really happened, I would be angry with my husband, severely. I  WE need this program to be successful.

Now, I just feel nauseous.
I want off this roller-coaster.

Man up and Get a Real Job

Sometimes I wonder what my husband is fighting for. WHY did my husband join the Military?

I ask this question to myself because there are so many ungrateful people in this world. There are people who have told me my husband needs to man up and get a "real job".

Some people assume my husband has everything handed to him and he gets all these crazy bonuses throughout the year, and that he just sits around on a cruise ship.

Someone straight up saying they don't support the military, not just the cause, but saying they can't stand the military. They don't see the military protecting us, protecting our rights.

I've been told that most of the military is made up of Paper pushers, the Navy doesn't get put in harms way, and our military is full of murders who are fighting for some sand [horrible horrible word I refuse to quote] to have rights. I've heard more and I've heard worse.

It upsets me because I believe in our military, especially my husband. It makes me sad to know these are people our military is protecting. These people have the right to voice their opinions because People like my husband have decided to be SELFLESS and protect their rights, protect our country to the best of their ability and say nothing when these people show how ungrateful they really are.

It's great that people can freely express their opinion, all my readers know I LOVE doing so. But what gets me is when these people see it more than an opinion. They see their opinion as a hard fact. I know it's ignorance, pure ignorance. They don't know anything about each job or branch in the military. They see wives as just wanting the money and benefits when they know nothing of either. The only thing I have heard from some of these that I do agree with is the fact we did sign up for this, but that doesn't mean that it is an easy transition for everyone.

It makes me sad for my husband. I know how hard he works, I know some of the things he has seen, some of the things he's had to do. It's not an easy job for him. But he enlisted because he wanted to make a career out of the Navy. He told me he wanted a job with purpose.

I may not agree with a lot of the decisions the military is asked to carry out, but I do support them. I support my husband. It's hard for me to stand by and not defend my husband when people say things like this. I know it's ignorance on most of it. They just don't know. But it's one thing I can loose my temper on quickly, especially when it turns in to direct attacks on my husband, myself or my family.

It's only Astro Turf

Do you know people who are always, "I wish I had this", "You have it easier".. etc? I think we all atleast know someone who is this way... also sometimes known as a "One-Upper". The, "Grass is greener on the other side" person. Sometimes, unknowingly.. it may be us. 

I try my best to NOT be one of those people, because honestly.. They get to me. Too much negativity. It's one thing for theses things to cross one's mind, but to constantly vocalize it.. Is that not complaining? To me, that person just seems so unhappy. Why would you want people to perceive you that way? I don't want people looking at me as a "Debbie Downer".

I admit it, I have thought, "I wish my husband had your schedule", or "I wish my husband was only gone for a weekend of training like yours instead of 6 weeks..", BUT I don't say that. I Refuse to say anything of the sort because WE ALL HAVE IT HARD being affiliated with the military. Who am I to say you have it easier compared to my husband and myself? And vice versa. YOU don't know what it's like on my end, and I don't know what it's like for you. You don't know what our schedule is like... etc. What's sad is when "Friends" are the ones "One Upping" you. I think some people think their husband.. or their husband's job is God's gift to the military branch they are associated with. These are the people I believe we need to separate ourselves from, Get rid of all negativity.

No branch is more important than the other. No Rate-JOB is better than any other in the military. And by better, I mean more important. I'm going to use a Ship as an example. Every Rate on the ship is there for a reason, they all work together for that ship to move. Your husband's job isn't the only thing that can prevent them from pulling in or pulling out. Something goes wrong with the Nukes- It can change the schedule.. If something goes wrong with the Hanger-bay Elevators- it can change the schedule. If something goes wrong with the Weapons elevators- it can change a schedule.. If Security isn't on the boat- it's going to change the schedule.. You get my point. EVERYTHING has to work together.. for the ship to "Run". From a Undesignated Rate, to a Nuke, to an Ordnanceman, to an IT to the Captain- They all have a reason on that ship. If they didn't have a purpose on that ship, they Navy wouldn't waste money on them. So don't put your husband's job on a pedestal and say it's "more important".

Coming up on Deployment, I realize these are the people I need to stay away from. These people can affect your mood, and I'm seeing them start to affect mine.. to the point where I anger easily, and I'm usually really good with controlling my anger. I need to surround myself with people who aren't saying "You have it easier" to bring me down because IT'S HARD ON ME TOO. Not just YOU.. Military Schedules are tough on EVERYONE. I'm going to take myself away from the negativity and  keep with the ones who are positive, and are uplifting rather than a downer.

The point I was trying to make is that The grass may look greener on the other side, but its only AstroTurf! You've been dealt your cards, now play them the best you can.. stop wanting someone else's hand.. Hope I said that without sounding crazy.. and hopefully you got the gist of what I was trying to say. Appreciate what you have, appreciate any time you have. Make the best with what YOU have!

My husband works 14+ hours a day, comes home eats.. and then sleeps- then we start it all over again. I'm not complaining. Yes, It's hard. BUT I'm extremely grateful for that hour or two I get a day to see my husband to talk to my husband. I am also grateful that because of his schedule, I am strong enough to not break down when he's gone for a 6 week underway (predeployment training) Because I'm use to not seeing him. We get to talk more when he's underway, even if it's just through email. Some people don't see their husband at all right now... And won't for a year or more. There are women who have children with Deployed husbands... Not to mention, think of the kids with deployed dads.. and mothers.

Noone should be One-Upped. We are all in tough situations. After all, are we not all in this together?

Stand up for what you believe in, even if it means standing alone.

Why is it that when Someone has a different Belief than someone.. just because it doesn't fit into the "Popular" belief that it's the wrong thing to believe?

We all have different beliefs on different subjects. Not one person is going to agree on absolutely everything.

When you follow someones blog, do you follow thinking you're going to agree with absolutely everything that person posts? And once they read a post that they don't share the same beliefs as you, they stop being a follower of your blog.

When I follow someones blog, I know I'm not going to agree with everything everyone else says. That's what makes us unique, and makes us who we are. 

I started to apologize and say that I'm sorry that I don't always follow popular belief, But I'm not sorry. I'm damn proud that I have my beliefs and my own opinion on things, Even if there are a lot of people who don't agree with me.

Yes, I am old fashioned. I was raised in a southern Christian home. I'm proud of that. I'm proud of Who I am. I accept that others have a different opinion and I'm glad that some share the same as me. However, If we all agreed on everything.. this world would be a very boring place.

Don't trash someone's beliefs. Don't throw "Facts" out there when they have nothing to do with why they believe what they do. State your opinion, but be an adult about it if you're going to comment on someone's blog. Like some have, say "It's good that you have your beliefs, although I don't agree." You can then state your feelings without any name calling. We are adults here, c'mon.

Yes, I am AGAINST gay marriage. This is MY personal belief, YOU don't HAVE to share that with me, but don't criticize me because I don't fit your perception of what YOU THINK everyone should believe.

If you don't like someone who has strong beliefs, that IS going to blog about things that other's May or May NOT agree with.. Then You SHOULDN'T be a follower of MY blog. This is where I express MY thoughts, MY beliefs and MY experiences.. Not yours. That's what YOU can have a blog for, and then people can choose to rationally agree or disagree with you.

"Stand up for what you believe in, even if it means standing alone." And that's exactly what I'm doing. My beliefs WILL NOT change just because someone doesn't agree with them.

Power of Attorney VS Business Ass Holes

As stated in my last post, this blog is about my furniture shopping experience... more so me using my 'power of attorney' and what happened at 1 furniture store.

Thursday I had went to nearly 7 furniture stores looking for what I want. I'd find a couch I like, but no luck with a coffee table that would look good with it. Started to stress a little, but had to remind myself that there was not immediate rush and I would find one.

The last store we went to Robert's Furniture store, which is just a small place in Hampton. Found the PERFECT couch and Loveseat. I knew of one more place I wanted to look and compare prices before I made the commitment. So, the next day I went to the store called The Dump. Found a lot I liked and at a good price. I like the Couch and Loveseat better at Robert's Furniture, but The Dump was cheaper, so I made my decision to go with the cheaper one that I liked.

I was using my Power of Attorney to put the purchase in my husbands name. I know exactly what I can and can't do with my POA. It's not the standard Military POA, I have 2 separate ones that were written up for me and my husband as a wedding gift. I have complete control over e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g. (muahahahaha). All joking aside, I'm technically jobless, so there's no way I would get approved (no one considers my tshirt business a job lol). Well, the hubs has almost no credit (another reason it's going in his name.. build his credit little by little). Because he is practically credit-less.. we, shall I say HE didn't get approved. next option.. cross my finger's for Roberts, and if not there Get the pricier couch I LOVED at Grands.. This is the part where I about lost my temper. Wait for it.. Ok, ya ready? (Several people got irritated when I told this to them. Not at me..  but at the.. well, you'll read for yourself)

I walked in Robert's and a guy asked me what I was looking for. I said, "If you can get my husband approved {pointing to the POA}, I'll be buying that Couch and Loveseat in the back.". He kind of gave and uneasy grin. Greeeaaat. He's going to tell me they won't accept the Power of Attorney. Of course he said he didn't think he could do anything with it. He called his finance company they work with.. and it was confirmed. Won't accept it. They are suppose to accept POAs, but not "required" to. No biggie, I can take my business elsewhere. Their loss. Obviously, this wasn't got my blood boiling.

I was curious. I asked the man why they wouldn't accept it. It is a legal document. CLEARLY stating I have control to open accounts, close them.. everything.. including buying a house all in my Husband's name... and I'm being told I can't use it for a couch,. So, OF COURSE I'm curious as to their reasoning. This is where I get pissed. He said, "The reason we don't and most places won't accept them is because of 'Jodys'. Military wives walk up in here with their boyfriend while their husband is deployed and buy a houseful of furniture, then when the husband comes home.. he comes home to no wife, and she has a houseful of furniture all in his name.". The way he said it.. The way he looked at me when he was saying it. KNOWING I am a Military wife... It was as if he was insinuating I was one of them, and that every military wife was like that.

I had to tell myself be the better person. You're bigger than this, don't let this man get to you. He got to me, but I forced myself to smile and said, "Well, good thing all military wives aren't how you perceive them. Have a good day!", I walked out and got in my car. Wasn't going to let this guy ruin my day. I went to Grands and bought 2 rooms of furniture, in my husband's name, not one problem with my POA. And the lady that works with legal there told me that they are required to accept them and that man was very wrong in not accepting it.

I got a GREAT deal at Grands.. and I'm 100% happy with my purchase.
So screw you Manager guy at Robert's Furniture!

You're so Vain, I bet you think this blog is about you!

 (blog title change thanks to the ones who commented and got it stuck in my head! haha)

First off, I was to thank everyone for commenting on my blogs. I love writing my blogs, and it's one of those things.. if you don't like what I have to say.. No one is forcing you to read it.

I know you're sitting there wondering "What the heck are you getting at?!" So I'll get to it.

I write about my own feelings, my own experiences, my own beliefs and Military life as a Navy wife. When I blog, I am not blogging about anyone. I will blog about situations I see (usually lots of the same situations until it builds up and triggers a blog), and I blog about my beliefs. Like my last blog, things I see happening triggered me to write on my beliefs. My belief being that  No one, military wife or not, should put their personal confrontations with their husband out there for the world to see on Social Networking sites, this include harsh name calling. This is just my belief and everyone has their own beliefs. You have the option to agree with me. And you don't have to agree with me in the comments you send. We were given something called "Free will", meaning you are your own person. I like hearing other's take on things, even if it means disagreeing with me.

Ok, that is still not the main point of this. Evidently {exaggerated), 2 of my blogs are a little too "touchy". My blogs "Making Problems Public Domain" and "Blame Yourself", have sparked a little unwanted drama. And no, it's not here on Blogger. Someone, somehow got it in their head that both blogs were about them. When in all actuality, my blogs are about noone. I take that back.. there are a few about me and my husband, so Technically they are about MY LIFE. Repeat: My Blogs are about MY feelings, My experiences, My >beliefs< and being a Navy wife. Nothing else.

So, if anyone thinks anything I write is about you.. well, then maybe you have some personal guilt that ties you in with what I post about. BUT it WAS NOT WRITTEN ABOUT YOU. YOU made it about yourself. (Guess that makes you selfish?).

And to end this, this post was to clear up any "Confusion" if there was someone else out there who is hellbent over this being about them. Once again, this isn't about you.

End rant.

Making Problems Public Domain

I have several "Blogs" going on in my head. Eventually I'll get them all out. Every time I got to type about something.. somehting else pops up that I feel like writing about even more.

The blog I'm writing now, I wasn't going to blog about it... But I read This post (linked) by Navy Doll  and after commenting her blog, I couldn't resist. It was a situation both she and I witnessed on Facebook this evening that I totally disagree with. I would like to know what others think about it as well.

There was a Navy Fiance that posted a vulgar status update toward her fiance. By vulgar.. I'm not meaning sexually or anything good. Evidently they were having a little spat and she decided to air out their "Dirty Laundry" (as Navy Doll put it) on Facebook for the world to see.

And of course, when you update your status.. You welcome comments. If you don't want someone to comment your status or "like" your status.. Why do you post it?

Everyone started posting comments on what she needed to do.. etc. etc. You call someone a "F***ing A**" of course someone's going to say "leave him".. someone's going to say "why are you with him".. blah blah.

I simply posted that this struggle they were going through didn't need to be up to the decision of anyone but her and her Sailor. It's their problem, and basically by posting it on a social media site is just fueling the fire. She needed to be the one to make the decision based on what she wanted and what was best for her.

After I posted my comment, I noticed a comment before mine that I must have skipped over. A girl posted something similar to "They are all a**es" and went on to say "The wives are the 'Power of the Navy'" some BS like that. I wanted to snap, but bit my tongue. Evidently I wasn't the only one who was offended. A couple other girls lashed out. One girl posted what I was thinking. Went something like: "To [person posted the BS comment], if you seriously think that, then what the hell is my husband and so many others out there while were here, since we're the 'Power of the Navy'".

Just out of curiosity, Why do people Post about things that should really be kept Personal? Every couple has problems at some point. Do you honestly think that by making it public record that you are going to make the Situation any better? Or when you are having a hard time with your SO you change your relationship status to "It's Complicated". Are you just wanting attention?

I could continue on with this blog, but it would turn into a repeat of a blog I wrote back in January called Blame Yourself. By the way, I wrote that the same week I opened my blog on Facebook. I caught hell for it, but all the girls that got their panties in a wad over it, were some of the girls I had in mind as I was writing it.

Blame Yourself

I posted this on Facebook over the weekend.. and it caught a lot of heat. But these are my thoughts, you don't have to agree with me.

Sometimes I read something that just irritates me. Best Remedy= Blogging.

I have a question for Military wives. If you married your husband KNOWING he was in the military or KNOWING he was going to enlist.. and you complain about him always being gone, or how you want him to get out of the military so bad.. blah blah blah.. WHY DID YOU MARRY HIM? (I'm talking about the girls who constantly change their status to "It's Complicated" and back again.. and status' that they are leaving, etc.) It's normal to let deployments get you down, and even duty days every now and then, but missing someone is different then being irrational and negative about it.

This is how I feel   (photographer: Ernie Passwaters, model: me)

It makes me mad because YOU KNEW WHAT YOU WERE GETTING IN TO. And a lot of the girls I see complaining about it, their husbands are in the Military as a career. I see Military Wives who constantly argue with their husbands, blamming them for all the problems in their relationship, blamming the military. They post negative status updates about their relationship for everyone to see, BUT when someone says something about it.. They get offended and tell people to "Stay the hell out of their business". YOU made it public news, YOU wanted attention. YOU are selfish and need to look at your situation and re-evaluate the problem. MAYBE you are part of the problem and YOU need to grow up.

Girls that throw it in their husbands face about how he missed an anniversary all because he joined the "Damn Military". Or even worse, Making him feel horrible because They weren't there for the doctor's visit to hear the baby's heart beat for the first time. Or because they couldn't be there for the birth of their child. Do you not think they don't want to be there? I know it hurts them not to be there. Situations like this are so sad.

 Another thing that bothers me is when Military wives just pack up and move home, just because they don't like their husband's duty station. Home is what you make it. If you don't like where you are living, it's because you've made it that way. I understand the one's who move home while their husband is deployed, I'm not talking about you ladies. I love my husband, and I want to be wherever he is when I can. My husband is my best friend.. and that's the way it should be.
You all know who you are. YOU are selfish.

I know I've probably angered a few military wives out there, but I honestly do not care that I upset you. This is what I believe. I happen to love being around my husband and spending as much time as possible with him. And he agrees with me on this. I love that he and I share the same views on almost everything.

Just to clear things up, This note isn't about any one person in particular. I just say what I think when something triggers me to do so. It's just my personality.

 Tootles.