Emotions, Projects and Homecoming- Oh My!

We are more than halfway through deployment. How exciting right? I'm extremely excited.

Yesterday, I had the honor of photographing the USS Arleigh Burke homecoming for a client. Homecomings are SO exciting- especially when you know that in a few short months you will be where she is, waiting on him to walk to you (or you run to him) and the camera turned on you. Photographing homecomings is one of the most rewarding parts to my job. So much emotion and excitement.. sometimes, even tears (on my part too!).

I am now nearing the point where I might feel a little stress. We are on the home stretch and I'm determined to finish my to-do list. As I have mentioned in a previous blog, I'm notorious for making my list of goals and things to achieve far longer than I have time to complete them in. AND, sometimes things happen to change your schedule or add more must-do's to the to-do list (like having to cut out a tree and then buy a new shed, etc!).

I feel like my list is a mile long and I'm getting nowhere with it.

I just keep telling myself, "The day he comes home, he's not going to notice anything you have done to or around the house. He's just going to be glad to be home!". Although, he might notice the love seat is gone.. Oops!

Now, I'm at the point of prioritizing my list, and the "big" projects I was going to do, will now become projects WE are going to do together. I haven't told him that just yet- so, here's hoping!

In a few months, none of this will matter. I will be waiting on the pier to welcome him home and for my heart to be completed. It's at that very moment when the world stops and all that matters is that very moment. It's that moment when you know that the month's apart were worth it. Shaking, scared, excited, nervous and maybe a little nauseous- full of so many feelings, all leading to that one moment when you see him walking to you. It's all worth it.

But for now, my ass is kicking in overdrive!

I have to finish the back yard (have the shed and fence installed, patio, hammock, grass, etc), re-do our bedroom, finish my office, Find curtains for a couple rooms and put them up, organize, organize and more organizing- the list is about a mile long. I have LOTS of painting projects to start. I need to get busy!

Today= Project day!

Now I will leave you some Arleigh Burke homecoming sneaks :)

This was their first deployment, and the first time they had seen the ship in 6 months.
They were extremely excited and fighting tears. 

 

The moment that the world stops and nothing matters anymore.
He's home, he's safe  and you feel complete again. 

When I turn 25..

Dear soon to be 25 year old self (February 20),

Times up! All the things you had wanted to accomplish by the age of 25, you didn't do all of them. Slacker.

But I'm proud of you. 

When you're 16 years young, 25 seems forever away. You're supposed to have everything figured out by then, all your dreams should have come true by now... psh. You lied to yourself. 

By the time you turned 25, you had a list of things to accomplish- things that you saw as being the right thing to do- things you needed to do by 25. 

Here were your top things to do by the time you turned 25:

Go to college

Get married

Buy a house

Buy a new car- SUV (mommy vehicle)

Have a career

Have 2 kids

Go to college: You should have been more specific. Maybe you should have told yourself to "finish college". So, in a sense, you accomplished this Goal. You went to college for one year. I don't think you realized how much the real world cost... and even though you paid for your own things (car, insurance, phone, clothes), there were a lot of expenses you didn't think to consider. 

Get married: You succeeded. At 25, you have been happily married for more than 3 years. Although, at 16, marriage was a Fairy Tale. And in ways, it is your very own Fairy Tale. But it's also a lot of work to keep things working smoothly. You've learned so much about what a relationship is and how a Man is supposed to treat you. He would do anything in the world for you. He pushes you to be better and to go after your dreams. You always said you'd marry your best friend, and you did, you just didn't know him then.

Buy a new car: Speaking of that great husband... He's too good to you. He took you to a dealership where the two of you purchased you your first SUV, and first new vehicle. Only the second car you've owned since you have been able to drive. Go you!

Buy a house: You cut it close, but in July of 2011 you crossed another mile-stone. You and your husband purchased your first house. Small, but more than enough room for you, your husband, 3 crazy animals and one day.. a little one. Now, get busy on all those home projects you want to do you found on Pinterest!

Have a career: You're still working on this. You're starting to really get somewhere with your photography career. You're still in the beginning stages, but you've learned so much to better your business and skills since becoming serious about photography to make it more than an obsessive hobby. Every session you improve. You can see it yourself. If you see it, I'm sure others do as well. Keep it up. You'll have the career you want if you stay on the path you're on now.

Have 2 kids: Fail. But good things come to those who wait- even if it's not by your choice, but your body refusing to hold a baby right now. When it happens, you're going to be a good momma. Just stop being so hard on yourself right now. If you can't have babies, there are other options. Even if it is hard to stomach not having your own. Afterall, you use to say you didn't want to have kids of your own. You wanted to adopt because there were too many unwanted kids that need a family to love them. You may get your wish after all. I know you say you're ok with waiting until you're 28 to really be serious about kids, but I know you. You're bothered because you want a baby so bad, and it's hard knowing every time your  body says no. I know you're just scared of facing yet another miscarriage. Keep your head up. Big man upstairs has something planned for you.

It's crazy how fast time flies. How much you've grown up in 9 years. 

So much changes. 

Happy 25th Birthday.

Here's looking at you kid,

Your [almost] 25 year old self

Resolutions, goals and Being Prepared

Have you ever felt like time was passing by so quickly, you struggle to keep up? I feel like I'm back where I was a year ago. Trying not to stress, preparing and realizing time is growing shorter until my husband will be deploying again.

This time feels a little different though.

I feel like we are still adjusting to all the changes from his previous deployment. He was gone for 6 months, but during that time we purchased a house, we moved, purchased a new car.. etc. I feel like we're still working on a new routine with his work schedule. I was so use to his TAD schedule before last deployment that I'm honestly not use to seeing my husband home as much as he has been. It's nice having him home- but sometimes I miss his crazy schedule. My house stayed clean then! But I'll take him home over my clean house any day.

We got use to spending roughly 1 day a week together before deployment. Now, after deployment, we have every day with the exception of a duty day every week. We were in a routine of spending every minute with each other when he was home, and now because we went from having about 1 day to every day, sometimes we feel like we are smothering each other. I guess sometimes its part of it. It's the whole adjusting to only readjust thing. It's a never ending cycle.

Now, we are creeping up on deployment number 2. I guess you could say more than creeping. I look at how many days my husband will be home between now and deployment, with the ship now in full swing with their underway training, and we are back to having limited time left to spend with each other. It puts things back into reality for me, focus on each other but remember to keep stress and emotions in check. Stress- we're working on that. We have a lot to do before this next deployment and I feel as if I've waited until last minute, but I still have a lot of time. It's crazy.

I'm already trying to gather my "Deployment goal" list. Kind of like setting tons of resolutions for the New Year, but for me- it's for deployment. Full of projects, work out goals, weight goals, decorating projects, FRG commitments, etc.

Again with this deployment, I'm probably going to make my to-do list so long and be disappointed in the end because I ran out of time. I do that. I sometimes put too much on my plate and then get so incredibly mad at myself for not succeeding. I think I do this because I do accomplish a lot when under pressure or stressed. I do my best when I'm constantly busy. I think I also do this to myself because I don't want to run out of things to do. I want and I like keeping busy because the time flies so fast, and before I know it, I'm picking up my husband. I refuse to be miserable and I focus on things I want to do, things I want to accomplish. When my husband is gone, it's the perfect time because when he's home- my focus is on him. I sometimes forget what I want, and forget to focus any time on myself (maybe that'll actually be a New Years resolution!).

What are your New Years or Deployment resolutions?