Six years ago I made a decision to create a blog. Previous to, The Journey of a Navy Wife, I would post notes to Myspace and Facebook. Never in a million years did I think anyone read what I had to say. After all, I was rarely politically correct, and nauseously positive most of the time. If you have followed my blog long enough, you know I evidently fart rainbows and poop glitter... according to one cynical critic. While my journey still continues, we've opened a new chapter in our lives, in that same journey. This is the official "goodbye" to "The Journey of a Navy Wife", the blog.
If you are for some reason sad... cry no tears. I will continue blogging about my adventures and most of all, be blogging about my amazing son. He's taught me so much and has inspired me more than anything in this world to be the best I can be. That's where my heart is 100% and I could talk about being his mommy 24/7, that is if he lets me. He's currently on an extended nap strike. :)
The domain, www.journeyofanavywife.com is available to transfer to whomever wants it. The other domain, I will not link (just add 'the' to the beginning of the link above), because google wouldn't give me access to renew it, and I could never get any responses. So.. unfortunately, a less than family-friendly site took it over. I do not advise anyone to visit it, unless you're into Japanese erotica.
Anyhow, This blog will be up a few more days before it will be gone forever. The new site is in the building process as we speak. It'll be all about my journey as a new mom, and my obsession with taking pictures of my son every single day. Poor kid didn't know what he was getting into when he chose a photographer for his mom. ;) I'll also share our NICU journey, what it's like to be a preemie mom, our struggles, our adventures, milestones and more. No worries, if you followed my blog for the military life aspect, that will be there too. We've just added a mini me to the journey.
If you'd like to keep up, "Like" the new facebook page: http://facebook.com/momsgoingtosnap and keep an eye out for when http://www.momsgoingtosnap.com is officially live.
Later Gator!
Thursday, October 22, 2015
Wednesday, September 30, 2015
Our Journey Home
The last time I updated my blog was June 25 with my letter to my son, Dear Cash William. I was still pregnant and was measuring 34 weeks. Little did I know that shortly after that post, I would meet my little boy. This blog is about our journey home. Trigger warning for Preemie and NICU moms. This will be a long post.
On June 26th, I went to my OB for a followup and to have my blood pressure monitored. First, I had my weight checked. I was shocked to see I had gained nearly 30lbs in less than 2 weeks. I knew I had gained, but never would have imagined so much. My blood pressure was high when first checked. They opted to do a manual blood pressure reading and it read higher. I was sent to labor and delivery in hopes they could get my blood pressure down.
I was at the hospital for several hours being monitored. At first, they had no plans to keep me over night. They were getting my discharge papers for me and sending me home on strict bed rest. Then, as I got up to change out of the hospital gown, my blood pressure jumped to the 180's and I was admitted.
It was a miserable night. Every hour I was woke up for tests and monitoring. I started to have contractions, although I wasn't feeling them. My blood pressure was up and down all night, even when resting. The following afternoon, my doctor came in with the news I had severe preeclampsia. My protein shot up from 45 to 4500 in less than 2 weeks. Then, she told me I was being transferred to a hospital in Fresno that handles high risk, preterm, preeclampsia patients.
I was in the hospital for a few days. The goal was to keep me there, on strict bed-rest, for 2 weeks. Of course, this was totally dependent on my body and how much I could and was willing to push it. I was willing to stick it out far longer than the doctors ended up letting me.
On Monday, June 29th, about 8PM PST, My blood pressure shot up to 188/110 while on medicine to lower my blood pressure. At the same time, my oxygen levels dropped. Both the blood pressure and oxygen monitor alarms went off and 2 nurses ran in. One of the nurses put an oxygen mask on me and as she was doing so, the doctor came in. He told me my liver and kidneys were showing stress and, at that point with my blood pressure jumping and oxygen levels diving, he had no choice. He told me he was going to have to take my baby by emergency c-section and it had to happen as fast as possible. I freaked out because my husband wasn't there. I had sent him home because I was feeling fine. Keyword, was. I asked the doctor if my husband had enough time to make it to the hospital, nearly an hour away. The doctor said, "Tell him to drive fast". My husband walked in as they were rolling me out to the operating room.
Leaving my hospital room and rolling to the operating room, I was scared to death. I was only 32 weeks, said to be measuring 34 weeks. What if he was only 32 weeks? I was terrified. NICU was unavoidable at this point, whether 32 or 34 weeks. I just wanted my little boy to be ok. I wanted to keep him in and let him grow more. But, that wasn't possible. My placenta was attacking my body.
My c-section wasn't pleasant. I had a rough stick with my spinal block and during surgery I could feel more than just pressure. I didn't really hurt, but I could feel pinching and pricks in my abdomen. On top of this, I felt like I couldn't breathe. My son was up in my ribs, so they had to push down to get him out. It's not like they just cut you open and pull the baby out. They push the baby to the hole in your stomach. The worst part of it all, is wondering if he was going to be ok when he came out.
When Cash William was pulled from my stomach, I literally felt empty. I was on the verge of an anxiety attack. All I could see was my husband to my left and what looked like a tarp over top of me. I couldn't see what they were doing and worst of all, I couldn't see my baby boy. Then, I heard him cry and I lost it. He was breathing. He was ok. My husband had to calm me down because I was sobbing so hard. The nurse brought him over to show me my baby boy. He was perfect. I didn't get to hold him. Only 5 seconds and he was taken out of the room to NICU. He was only 32 weeks and weighed 3 pounds, 14 ounces and measured 16 inches long.
I was taken to recovery. I wasn't going to get to see my baby boy that night. Once NICU had Cash set up in his room, My husband was able to go in and see him for a bit. I however, didn't get to see him for 2 days. TWO DAYS. It was torture. I was on strict bed-rest due to my blood pressure, the magnesium I was on and intense swelling. I don't think I have ever cried so much in my life.
Thankfully, my husband went to NICU and sat with Cash. While there, he skyped me. He took tons of pictures for me on his phone too. Not only is it hard not getting to see your baby other than by phone.. It is even harder seeing your baby in an isolette with wires and tubes all over him.
We had no guaranteed timeframe of how much time we were going to be making the NICU our second home. They told us to expect his due date, which wasn't until August 22.. could be earlier, could be later.
The day I finally got to go see my son, my husband took me by wheel chair. I was still having blood pressure issues, severe swelling and was only taking Motrin for pain. Rolling down the hall and seeing the doors for the NICU, I was extremely nervous and scared. Of what? I'm really not sure. None of those feelings existed when I laid eyes on him.
His doctor came by his room immediately when we came in. She said Cash was doing well. He had been taken off of the oxygen at this point, yay! The steroid shots I received before my transfer to Fresno helped him SO much. He was so tiny. His doctor allowed us to do skin to skin and we were able to feed him the colostrum I pumped through a syringe. During his NICU stay, learning to eat was his biggest challenge.
I was discharged from the hospital after a week. The same day I was discharged, Cash was moved to NICU II. I cried. I was happy he was moved a step up.. but tortured by the fact that he no longer had a room and I couldn't stay with him. We stayed until shift change and then we had to make our drive back to Lemoore. I cried walking away, I cried being rolled to the car and cried the entire way home. I felt like I was living a nightmare.
Every day, my husband and I made the drive to the NICU. Every day for 5 weeks. It was like a roller coaster where you're being drug by your ankles... and I never thought it was going to end.
We had set backs with digestive issues, Jaundice, Aspiration, and the length of time it was taking him to learn to eat. We were literally having to teach him how to eat. The day we were told we'd be discharged, they found a heart murmur and almost didn't release him. Thankfully, he was allowed to come home and we scheduled a follow up for his heart (All is well! He has a narrow valve and it'll either grow with him or he'll grow out of it!).
After NICU we had an ER visit via ambulance with a seizure-like episode. Little man has severe reflux. He still has the digestive issues, so he is off Neosure because it makes his reflux so so so much worse and is only strictly breastmilk.
This is the short version. I wanted to blog sooner, but I was a bit preoccupied. Cash is now 3 months old today! He left NICU weighing 5 pounds, 10 ounces and today, He weighs 10 pounds, 1 ounce! He's classified as a rapid gainer and will likely adjust by 12 months vs the 2 years expected! Woot! Grow Cash grow!
Our journey through pictures:
On June 26th, I went to my OB for a followup and to have my blood pressure monitored. First, I had my weight checked. I was shocked to see I had gained nearly 30lbs in less than 2 weeks. I knew I had gained, but never would have imagined so much. My blood pressure was high when first checked. They opted to do a manual blood pressure reading and it read higher. I was sent to labor and delivery in hopes they could get my blood pressure down.
I was at the hospital for several hours being monitored. At first, they had no plans to keep me over night. They were getting my discharge papers for me and sending me home on strict bed rest. Then, as I got up to change out of the hospital gown, my blood pressure jumped to the 180's and I was admitted.
It was a miserable night. Every hour I was woke up for tests and monitoring. I started to have contractions, although I wasn't feeling them. My blood pressure was up and down all night, even when resting. The following afternoon, my doctor came in with the news I had severe preeclampsia. My protein shot up from 45 to 4500 in less than 2 weeks. Then, she told me I was being transferred to a hospital in Fresno that handles high risk, preterm, preeclampsia patients.
I was in the hospital for a few days. The goal was to keep me there, on strict bed-rest, for 2 weeks. Of course, this was totally dependent on my body and how much I could and was willing to push it. I was willing to stick it out far longer than the doctors ended up letting me.
On Monday, June 29th, about 8PM PST, My blood pressure shot up to 188/110 while on medicine to lower my blood pressure. At the same time, my oxygen levels dropped. Both the blood pressure and oxygen monitor alarms went off and 2 nurses ran in. One of the nurses put an oxygen mask on me and as she was doing so, the doctor came in. He told me my liver and kidneys were showing stress and, at that point with my blood pressure jumping and oxygen levels diving, he had no choice. He told me he was going to have to take my baby by emergency c-section and it had to happen as fast as possible. I freaked out because my husband wasn't there. I had sent him home because I was feeling fine. Keyword, was. I asked the doctor if my husband had enough time to make it to the hospital, nearly an hour away. The doctor said, "Tell him to drive fast". My husband walked in as they were rolling me out to the operating room.
Leaving my hospital room and rolling to the operating room, I was scared to death. I was only 32 weeks, said to be measuring 34 weeks. What if he was only 32 weeks? I was terrified. NICU was unavoidable at this point, whether 32 or 34 weeks. I just wanted my little boy to be ok. I wanted to keep him in and let him grow more. But, that wasn't possible. My placenta was attacking my body.
My c-section wasn't pleasant. I had a rough stick with my spinal block and during surgery I could feel more than just pressure. I didn't really hurt, but I could feel pinching and pricks in my abdomen. On top of this, I felt like I couldn't breathe. My son was up in my ribs, so they had to push down to get him out. It's not like they just cut you open and pull the baby out. They push the baby to the hole in your stomach. The worst part of it all, is wondering if he was going to be ok when he came out.
 |
| The 5 seconds I got to see my baby While in the O.R. |
I was taken to recovery. I wasn't going to get to see my baby boy that night. Once NICU had Cash set up in his room, My husband was able to go in and see him for a bit. I however, didn't get to see him for 2 days. TWO DAYS. It was torture. I was on strict bed-rest due to my blood pressure, the magnesium I was on and intense swelling. I don't think I have ever cried so much in my life.
 |
| Photo my husband took while visiting with our son. |
We had no guaranteed timeframe of how much time we were going to be making the NICU our second home. They told us to expect his due date, which wasn't until August 22.. could be earlier, could be later.
The day I finally got to go see my son, my husband took me by wheel chair. I was still having blood pressure issues, severe swelling and was only taking Motrin for pain. Rolling down the hall and seeing the doors for the NICU, I was extremely nervous and scared. Of what? I'm really not sure. None of those feelings existed when I laid eyes on him.
His doctor came by his room immediately when we came in. She said Cash was doing well. He had been taken off of the oxygen at this point, yay! The steroid shots I received before my transfer to Fresno helped him SO much. He was so tiny. His doctor allowed us to do skin to skin and we were able to feed him the colostrum I pumped through a syringe. During his NICU stay, learning to eat was his biggest challenge.
I was discharged from the hospital after a week. The same day I was discharged, Cash was moved to NICU II. I cried. I was happy he was moved a step up.. but tortured by the fact that he no longer had a room and I couldn't stay with him. We stayed until shift change and then we had to make our drive back to Lemoore. I cried walking away, I cried being rolled to the car and cried the entire way home. I felt like I was living a nightmare.
 |
| Discharge day! |
We had set backs with digestive issues, Jaundice, Aspiration, and the length of time it was taking him to learn to eat. We were literally having to teach him how to eat. The day we were told we'd be discharged, they found a heart murmur and almost didn't release him. Thankfully, he was allowed to come home and we scheduled a follow up for his heart (All is well! He has a narrow valve and it'll either grow with him or he'll grow out of it!).
After NICU we had an ER visit via ambulance with a seizure-like episode. Little man has severe reflux. He still has the digestive issues, so he is off Neosure because it makes his reflux so so so much worse and is only strictly breastmilk.
This is the short version. I wanted to blog sooner, but I was a bit preoccupied. Cash is now 3 months old today! He left NICU weighing 5 pounds, 10 ounces and today, He weighs 10 pounds, 1 ounce! He's classified as a rapid gainer and will likely adjust by 12 months vs the 2 years expected! Woot! Grow Cash grow!
Our journey through pictures:
Thursday, June 25, 2015
Dear Cash William
Dear Cash William,
We are just shy of 34 weeks now. It's crazy to think that very soon, you will be in my arms and no longer in my belly. I'm full of emotions. I am beyond happy and excited, but so very nervous, anxious and terrified.
Your Dad (hehe.. dad.. ) and I and tried so hard over the past several years to become parents. We were blessed with a few pregnancies, but at the time, God must have thought it wasn't the best time. Honestly, we gave up. We were no longer hopeful we'd be parents by a birth from my body. Then, God gave us a miracle, he gave us you. I can't promise you a baby brother or sister in the future, but as you know, God is in control.
The past few months we have had some scares. The doctors didn't know if my body could keep you. Even with all the scares, you've shown just how strong you really are. When I'm not feeling well, and I'm worried.. you give me a kick, a push or a stretch to say, "Hey, I'm still here and we're doing this". Thank you for that. Just like your dad always says, you tell me everything is going to be OK.
You're not even here yet and you've taught me so much already. I have a lot to learn still yet, and I'm so sorry that with you, there will be a lot of trial and error. I promise I'll keep learning and do what I feel is best for you at all times.
I find myself wondering who you're going to look like more. I wonder how much like your 3D pictures you'll really look. Will you have a head full of hair, or be bald until you're 3 like I was? Will you have your dad's nose like it appears in your 3D images? Will you get my creative, need for artsy things or be more athletic like your dad? I hope you get your dad's sense of humor and my need for planning. I hope you get some of the height from your Nana's side of the family and little curls from your dad. Only time will tell.. I know, but my mind never quits. No matter what, you will be you and absolutely perfect.
Being on a temporary bed-rest and feeling you squirming around, I can't help but smile. Even with all the problems with my body, you've remained strong and I've loved every second of carrying you. Now, this isn't me saying I'm ready for you to come out just yet.. I need you to stay as close to your due date as possible. I know the doc says likely around 35 weeks because mommy was made different... but we've come this far, let's see if we can keep going.
Soon Little man, soon you will greet the world and I will be the happiest person on the planet.
Love,
Mom (hehe.. mom.)
We are just shy of 34 weeks now. It's crazy to think that very soon, you will be in my arms and no longer in my belly. I'm full of emotions. I am beyond happy and excited, but so very nervous, anxious and terrified.
Your Dad (hehe.. dad.. ) and I and tried so hard over the past several years to become parents. We were blessed with a few pregnancies, but at the time, God must have thought it wasn't the best time. Honestly, we gave up. We were no longer hopeful we'd be parents by a birth from my body. Then, God gave us a miracle, he gave us you. I can't promise you a baby brother or sister in the future, but as you know, God is in control.
The past few months we have had some scares. The doctors didn't know if my body could keep you. Even with all the scares, you've shown just how strong you really are. When I'm not feeling well, and I'm worried.. you give me a kick, a push or a stretch to say, "Hey, I'm still here and we're doing this". Thank you for that. Just like your dad always says, you tell me everything is going to be OK.
You're not even here yet and you've taught me so much already. I have a lot to learn still yet, and I'm so sorry that with you, there will be a lot of trial and error. I promise I'll keep learning and do what I feel is best for you at all times.
I find myself wondering who you're going to look like more. I wonder how much like your 3D pictures you'll really look. Will you have a head full of hair, or be bald until you're 3 like I was? Will you have your dad's nose like it appears in your 3D images? Will you get my creative, need for artsy things or be more athletic like your dad? I hope you get your dad's sense of humor and my need for planning. I hope you get some of the height from your Nana's side of the family and little curls from your dad. Only time will tell.. I know, but my mind never quits. No matter what, you will be you and absolutely perfect.
Being on a temporary bed-rest and feeling you squirming around, I can't help but smile. Even with all the problems with my body, you've remained strong and I've loved every second of carrying you. Now, this isn't me saying I'm ready for you to come out just yet.. I need you to stay as close to your due date as possible. I know the doc says likely around 35 weeks because mommy was made different... but we've come this far, let's see if we can keep going.
Love,
Mom (hehe.. mom.)
Monday, May 11, 2015
A Different Journey
The past few days I have been cleaning out the room that will become baby boys nursery. Among the items to move out are all the baby items I've hoarded over the years that are not meant for a little boy. I have quite a bit of little girl clothes and even crib bedding in paisley. The truth then set in, and oddly I find that I'm very content.
The truth is, Baby Boy may be our only child to come from my belly. At first, looking at all the adorable little girl clothes, I felt a little sad. But then Baby Boy kicked and I felt absolute calmness and extreme happiness. Fact is, even if I can carry again, we'll be facing the same journey it took to get where we are now with little man. While I'm happy I made it through everything we faced, I really don't want to go through it again, even if in the end there is an absolutely amazing reward. I don't think I can do it mentally nor physically. I'm being blessed with an absolute little miracle right now. God gave me what we've been praying for for 7 years almost. And Baby Boy is our, "Lucky number 7". I think God is pulling us in an alternate direction for baby number 2. He answered our prayers, and now, he's talking another direction for the future.
The topic of adoption has come up many times over the past several years. We had finally become content with that as our only option... but little did we know when we had that last talk, I was already pregnant (God sure does have some oddly perfect timing!). We had the talk while we were out shopping for the foster kids we adopted for Christmas. My heart felt so full (I was super emotional, and now I know that some of that is attributed to pregnancy hormones! LOL). My husband I spoke about fostering and eventually adopting. I was at peace we were on the same page and we had accepted a different journey, then God blessed us even more than we could have ever imagined.
Today, talking with my husband, we agreed to part with all the baby girl stuff we have packed away. We'd rather it go to someone who could use it now, vs it being in space saver bags stored in a plastic bin. We spoke about the realization that Baby Boy may be the last pregnancy. Then, we talked about adopting a baby girl down the road. I honestly think this is the path for us. It's a path we both agree on.
I feel at peace and absolutely beyond blessed. This pregnancy has it's complications, but I was blessed with no real morning sickness and healthy growing boy who gives me little kicks to make me smile throughout the day.
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Follow me on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JourneyOfANavyWife
Friday, May 1, 2015
Life since the PCS
My husband and I have been in California for 7 months, going into our 8th month now. In just this short period of time, SO many things have changed and I've been blessed in so many ways.
As many of you know, I run my own photography studio, Christina Rush Photography. A couple years ago, I had a big project in my mind. The project being working with women and showing their natural beauty. I joined other photography projects catering to women, but nothing fulfilled my idea. Every project seemed to cater to a specific look for women. To fit a project's idea of beauty, they had to be curvy, have a mom body, be fit.. etc.Everything EVERYONE, was labeled by a specific body type. In 2014, after hashing my ideas with a beautiful momma, Jessi, I decided to start putting together a plan and execute it for launch in 2015. I shut down my boudoir site, Just a Little CRush and headed in a wonderfully new direction. In January of 2015, a nationwide project called Raw Beauty Sessions was launched. Thank you Jessi for pushing me to do what I wanted, and what I needed.
Raw Beauty Sessions is on a mission to show all women, they are beautiful, just as they are. No matter a woman's body type, no matter if a woman has what society calls, "Flaws".. all women are beautiful. I'm proud to say that as of May, 1, 2015 we have photographers in 7 states and we are growing! Yeah!
Another awesome growth for me since our PCS to California? My photography newsletter is now sent to more than 40 people. While I don't send newsletters regularly, this is something I'm very proud of. This means people are looking at what I'm doing, and people do enjoy my work. I can't wait to announce a HUGE adventure I'll be taking after our baby boy arrives in a few months.. oh yeah, I still haven't blogged about that either, have I? Man, I'm behind! :D
So, the MOST EXCITING thing to happen in my life since the move and.. well, pretty much ever... We are pregnant! My last posts about doctor visits and seeing where we were heading with our journey to have a baby were actually follow up baby appointments. While there are some scary things going on with this pregnancy and a lot of risks for premature labor, our little boy is healthy and currently thriving at 24 weeks. I feel his movements, his kicks. He there, he's alive and he's ours. We finally got our little miracle I've been praying and begging for for almost 7 years. Almost 7 years, and 6 miscarriages.. He's our lucky number 7.
Life is is so amazing right now.
As many of you know, I run my own photography studio, Christina Rush Photography. A couple years ago, I had a big project in my mind. The project being working with women and showing their natural beauty. I joined other photography projects catering to women, but nothing fulfilled my idea. Every project seemed to cater to a specific look for women. To fit a project's idea of beauty, they had to be curvy, have a mom body, be fit.. etc.
Raw Beauty Sessions is on a mission to show all women, they are beautiful, just as they are. No matter a woman's body type, no matter if a woman has what society calls, "Flaws".. all women are beautiful. I'm proud to say that as of May, 1, 2015 we have photographers in 7 states and we are growing! Yeah!
Another awesome growth for me since our PCS to California? My photography newsletter is now sent to more than 40 people. While I don't send newsletters regularly, this is something I'm very proud of. This means people are looking at what I'm doing, and people do enjoy my work. I can't wait to announce a HUGE adventure I'll be taking after our baby boy arrives in a few months.. oh yeah, I still haven't blogged about that either, have I? Man, I'm behind! :D
So, the MOST EXCITING thing to happen in my life since the move and.. well, pretty much ever... We are pregnant! My last posts about doctor visits and seeing where we were heading with our journey to have a baby were actually follow up baby appointments. While there are some scary things going on with this pregnancy and a lot of risks for premature labor, our little boy is healthy and currently thriving at 24 weeks. I feel his movements, his kicks. He there, he's alive and he's ours. We finally got our little miracle I've been praying and begging for for almost 7 years. Almost 7 years, and 6 miscarriages.. He's our lucky number 7.
We'll have more images, better quality, next weekend :)
Life is is so amazing right now.
Sunday, December 28, 2014
Working on Answers
Many of you know my husband and I struggle with holding a pregnancy. We've been to the doctor a few times with no real answers. The entire time (just over 5 years) we lived in Virginia, we had 4 miscarriages. We had 2 others before that. During my medical visits in Virginia, all that was found is that my gallbladder and appendix sit to the side more than they are supposed to; nothing to be concerned with and no affect on me. I also found out that my cervix is tilted, meaning it can be harder for me to get pregnant but no cause for miscarriage. I left Virginia with no answers. Now that we are in California, we are working on answers, clear answers.
My first visit with my doctor on base was a success. I received more answers in that one day than I did the entire time in Virginia with civilian doctors. I found a doctor that seems to truly care about me getting pregnant and it being successful. We did, however, discover the problem, my uterus. Something so easy to discover and noone in Virginia saw it. How, I'm unsure because I could see it on the ultrasound. I have an unfortunate uterine anomaly.
It's not clear how bad the anomaly is at this moment, but I should have more answers within the next week or so. I have an appointment scheduled with radiology to get more clear images. I either have what's called a septate uterus or a bicornate uterus.
A septate uterus is when there is a wedge of fibrous tissue dividing the uterine cavity. Basically like it's pinched. A bicornate uterus is similar but much more severe and not correctable. My doctor said a septate uterus can be helped by "shaving" off the tissue that comes down, separating my uterus. Either of these are believed to be the culprit to my miscarriages.
My doctor believes that I'm getting pregnant fairly easily and each pregnancy has been where it needs to be. However, my uterus isn't allowing the correct process. When I get pregnant, there are a couple things that are likely happening:
- The egg is attaching to the fibrous tissue instead of my uterine wall.
- The egg is attaching to the uterine wall, but the placenta is being cut off by the fibrous tissue.
both causing early first trimester miscarriage. She said it is not impossible for me to hold a pregnancy, but it will be me continually trying and going through what I already have until things land where they are supposed to and my body doesn't work against me. Even with insemination, the risk is all the same.
We also found out that I have a complex cyst on my right ovary. Thankfully, not likely anything to worry about, but we'll have more information on that after my appointment with radiology.
So, we have a lot to think about, but there is so much relief just getting some answers. I'll keep posting as we continue down this journey.
Wednesday, September 17, 2014
PCS-ing is for The Birds
Over the past 6 years, I have heard so many military wives say, "everything breaks/happens during a deployment". I have agreed with this to an extent. It always seemed like there was a couple weeks during my husband's deployment where everything went wrong on the home front. Now, I believe it's more of a, "everything happens when preparing for a PCS" [insert grumble here]. PCS-ing is for the birds!
As a military family, having 2 vehicles is both a blessing and a pain in the rear. We are preparing to move 44 hours across the country, and we had to make a decision. Do we, a. Sell one of the vehicles, b. pay $2000 to ship a vehicle or c. Drive two vehicles the 44 hours. Selling wasn't an option I allowed because we just put a ton of work ($$) into my husband's truck, which is paid off. We can't/ won't do two car payments. Selling was off the table. For weeks (2-3 months really) I looked for a reputable vehicle shipping company. All I could find was brokers and none of which could guarantee a driver by any particular time, yet wanted their money or you to sign a contract. A week before our move date, I found someone who had dates, but the truck was full and I would be a "standby". I needed the security of knowing for sure, so that was not an option. Another company wouldn't be able to pick up our vehicle from Virginia until we've been in Lemoore for almost a month, so again, not an option. Here we are now, 3 days before we've schedule our leave date and looks like we are driving 2 vehicles. We have come to terms with it and are content with it. Well, that was true until this morning really. Today was another whole set of crazy.
This morning, our neighbor took our truck. He's a mechanic and was going to do an oil change and make sure everything is good for the long drive. I do t want to get 3 states into our drive and break down. That would be terrifying to me. On his way to his shop, in our truck, our neighbor rear ended another driver. The other driver slammed on her breaks and came to a complete stop when another vehicle crossed a lane of traffic, cutting her off to get on the interstate. She locked up her breaks and so did my neighbor, but he slid right into her. There is more damage to our truck than the gal he hit, but the insurance won't fix our vehicle because it's ruled his fault and liability only covers the other person. The bumper is busted, but aside from that, the truck is driving and running fine. No one was hurt, that's the most important thing about all this. Now, 3 days until we start our new adventure and we have to worry about the truck. Our neighbor, being a mechanic at a body shop, he's able to fix everything, if anything more is wrong with the truck than the bumper. He's getting the bumper replaced before we head out. If anything else is wrong, we may have to out out our date to leave a few days, which is pretty much not doable since we only have 10 days to get out to California.
And to top off today, my job forgot to enter my leave I was granted for my transfer and I'm short a week's pay. They are working on it, but if may have to wait until next pay period to see it back, which isn't feasible.
There's been so much to go on in the past 2 months prepping for the PCS that I just want a day to not have to do absolutely anything and nothing to stress about.
Finger's crossed our Norfolk home sells quickly to a family that will love it as much as we have over the years.
Thursday, September 11, 2014
Your 9-11 is their 24-7
This morning I found myself complaining, irritated and just annoyed. Yesterday the movers came and loaded up our goods and went on their way. While walking around our empty home, I found the movers had scratched our newly refinished floors in several places. I was irritated to say the least.
While I have every right to be upset, it's fixable. My floors can come back to life and be what they were just a couple days ago. It means more work for me, but it's something that can be repaired.
During my little temper tantrum this morning, I realized what today's date is. I was reminded of the horrible day more than 10 years ago. So many people lost their lives, lost a loved one and so many suffer from PTSD from the events of that morning. And here I was, complaining about a scratch on my flooring.
While I didn't lose a loved one that day, it's a day that greatly affected me, even at just being 14 years old and a freshman in high school when 9-11 happened. I still remember all the emotions I felt that day. Though I remember reverything, September 11, 2001 no longer is an every day thought for me. It no longer knowingly affects my day-to-day life. That saddens me. I don't want one day a year to come around and it be the only time that I reflect on what it did to the nation.
I'm given the opportunity to carry on every day normally when there are people whose lives were forever changed. There are people who wake up thinking about the events and the people lost. My first thought this morning was about my floors and wondering if my husband made coffee. While I can say that 9-11 forever changed me, it is not entirely true. I know this is true for many if not most Americans. We've went back to our set ways and it no longer affects our day-to-day lives.
Like Pearl Harbor, one day many people will only remember the date because it is printed on most calendars and in history books. To most, it will be just 9-11, but to some, it will be their 24-7.
Let's take today to reflect, but let us not forget tomorrow.
Tuesday, August 26, 2014
Home is where the Navy sends us
Have I ever mentioned how much of a love/hate relationship I have with moving? It's a viscous cycle for me.
We have been lucky to stay put in one area for the past 5 years. Although, we have lived in 4 different homes since being here, we've been lucky to not have to PCS to another location. Lucky because Norfolk is only 13 hours from home. We knew his orders were coming, but we didn't expect all the craziness. Well, I didn't expect all the craziness.
November 2012 my husband was told he was going on shore duty early since the USS Enterprise was being decommissioned and he had less than a year on Sea Duty. At that point, most of his rate and rank were being sent to Fallon, Nevada for shore duty. We waited and waited. He finally received orders and it was for continued sea duty with VFA-135 Knighthawks out of Oceana. He was going from Ship's company to Squadron starting July 2013. Thankfully, that meant we were not going to be moving for a little bit longer. It also meant we were still waiting for his orders.
My husband picked his "Dream sheet" for shore duty before November 2013. He was told he would hear something before Mid January. Of course, everything is last minute. He received hard copy orders to Lemoore, California and was to report in July 2014.
Come May, there was a hold up on his orders. His orders were going to change, but at that time the report date remained the same. Which was scary because that's a short notice and we have a lot to take care of in Virginia with our home and my job. We had no idea where the Navy was going to send him, and where our family would be going. We didn't hear anything back on his orders until June, just a few weeks before we had originally planned to head out of Virginia. The orders had changed some, but remained for Lemoore. There were some issues with the class he was required to take which caused his orders to be pushed back. At last minute, he was told to report in September. It was relief and headache at the same time. Relief because we had more time to prepare things here, headache because I was forced to hold out on our house hunting again.
We cannot get base housing because we 1 pet over the limit for housing as well as my American Pit Bull Terrier. Also, the BAH rates for Lemoore dropped and everything that would suit our needs was as the previous max BAH. If we happened to find something suitable, they couldn't hold it until we needed it. It was just too much stress on me and my husband. With my unidentified heart condition, I didn't need stress making it come up again. I've went nearly 2 years without issue, and I'd like to continue this path since the doctors haven't found cause (not stress, no heart defect found, not asthma, not my thyroid.. etc). Anyway! Thankfully we found an amazing Realtor named Brianne who was an absolute Godsend. She helped us find what I feel will be the perfect home for my family. We purchased a home 44 hours away. Scary? Yeah, a little bit! Brianne went above and beyond for us. I cannot wait to get into our new home.
The downside? We still have our house in Norfolk to deal with. We go back and forth about renting or selling. Being that we have less than a month until we move, it looks like we're going to rent it out. We've done so many projects in our home and are completing a couple others, it'll be perfect for whomever moves in. I'm sad though. Our Norfolk home is our first home together. We've grown a lot as husband and wife as well as individuals here. We've also put a lot of work into our cozy little home. I want to take my floors with me. I seriously would if it were possible. So, if anyone is looking for a home to rent starting October 1st, get in touch with me ;)
Our movers come on September 9th. So, we'll be going about 2 weeks with no HHGs (household goods). My husband has school until the 19th and we'll head out the 20th. It's sneaking up on us really fast. I'm so full of mixed emotions. I'm super excited about the new adventures and change of pace.. AND no more tunnels. I'd love it if I never had to see another tunnel again! Nervous because I fear change and stressed because I have so much to accomplish in such a short amount of time.
We have right at 10 days to be in Lemoore and ready to work- both of us. My husband says we can make it in 3 days, I'm betting it'll be more like 4 1/2 days. We'll see who wins this challenge.
We have been lucky to stay put in one area for the past 5 years. Although, we have lived in 4 different homes since being here, we've been lucky to not have to PCS to another location. Lucky because Norfolk is only 13 hours from home. We knew his orders were coming, but we didn't expect all the craziness. Well, I didn't expect all the craziness.
November 2012 my husband was told he was going on shore duty early since the USS Enterprise was being decommissioned and he had less than a year on Sea Duty. At that point, most of his rate and rank were being sent to Fallon, Nevada for shore duty. We waited and waited. He finally received orders and it was for continued sea duty with VFA-135 Knighthawks out of Oceana. He was going from Ship's company to Squadron starting July 2013. Thankfully, that meant we were not going to be moving for a little bit longer. It also meant we were still waiting for his orders.
My husband picked his "Dream sheet" for shore duty before November 2013. He was told he would hear something before Mid January. Of course, everything is last minute. He received hard copy orders to Lemoore, California and was to report in July 2014.
Come May, there was a hold up on his orders. His orders were going to change, but at that time the report date remained the same. Which was scary because that's a short notice and we have a lot to take care of in Virginia with our home and my job. We had no idea where the Navy was going to send him, and where our family would be going. We didn't hear anything back on his orders until June, just a few weeks before we had originally planned to head out of Virginia. The orders had changed some, but remained for Lemoore. There were some issues with the class he was required to take which caused his orders to be pushed back. At last minute, he was told to report in September. It was relief and headache at the same time. Relief because we had more time to prepare things here, headache because I was forced to hold out on our house hunting again.
We cannot get base housing because we 1 pet over the limit for housing as well as my American Pit Bull Terrier. Also, the BAH rates for Lemoore dropped and everything that would suit our needs was as the previous max BAH. If we happened to find something suitable, they couldn't hold it until we needed it. It was just too much stress on me and my husband. With my unidentified heart condition, I didn't need stress making it come up again. I've went nearly 2 years without issue, and I'd like to continue this path since the doctors haven't found cause (not stress, no heart defect found, not asthma, not my thyroid.. etc). Anyway! Thankfully we found an amazing Realtor named Brianne who was an absolute Godsend. She helped us find what I feel will be the perfect home for my family. We purchased a home 44 hours away. Scary? Yeah, a little bit! Brianne went above and beyond for us. I cannot wait to get into our new home.
The downside? We still have our house in Norfolk to deal with. We go back and forth about renting or selling. Being that we have less than a month until we move, it looks like we're going to rent it out. We've done so many projects in our home and are completing a couple others, it'll be perfect for whomever moves in. I'm sad though. Our Norfolk home is our first home together. We've grown a lot as husband and wife as well as individuals here. We've also put a lot of work into our cozy little home. I want to take my floors with me. I seriously would if it were possible. So, if anyone is looking for a home to rent starting October 1st, get in touch with me ;)
Our movers come on September 9th. So, we'll be going about 2 weeks with no HHGs (household goods). My husband has school until the 19th and we'll head out the 20th. It's sneaking up on us really fast. I'm so full of mixed emotions. I'm super excited about the new adventures and change of pace.. AND no more tunnels. I'd love it if I never had to see another tunnel again! Nervous because I fear change and stressed because I have so much to accomplish in such a short amount of time.
We have right at 10 days to be in Lemoore and ready to work- both of us. My husband says we can make it in 3 days, I'm betting it'll be more like 4 1/2 days. We'll see who wins this challenge.
Tuesday, May 27, 2014
The Relationship with this Blog is Complicated
Seriously.
I haven't blogged in months. I haven't felt like blogging. I haven't wanted to blog. I have had no motivation and I have had nothing pop in my head or give me inspiration for one of my typically opinionated posts. I have tried to get myself motivated, but due to an upcoming move and my insanely busy schedule, blogging hasn't been a priority. My relationship with this blog is Complicated. Finally, I have inspiration.
I'm one of those people, when I have an opinion or thought, I share it. I'm an open book when it comes to what I post on Facebook, my blog and my blog fan page. Anyone who knows me, knows this. I'm "Politically incorrect" with most of my beliefs. I'm honest, brutally. Because of this, I tend to hear the word, "judgmental" often.
For starters, what is the difference between being judgmental and opinionated?
It seems there is a thin line, HOWEVER, an opinion is a thought in general. Something you base for yourself, or don't seem to see another way on. Everyone has an opinion on something. The biggest things I see opinions on are:
Abortion
Gay Marriage
Death Penalty
Breastfeeding
etc.
Just because you're for or against these or other things, doesn't make you judgmental. You can think they are wrong and not be judging someone who does or doesn't fit into your opinion on it.
For instance, I'm against abortion and can't see how someone can take an innocent life. I know people who have done it, I'm friends with them. I don't agree with them, I have an opinion on the act, but I'm not judging them for their decision. Just one example. Big or small, everyone has an opinion.
This week I have seen multiple, "It's complicated" relationship statuses. After seeing yet another one today, I can't get clarity on why it's a relationship title. I mean, do you introduce your relationship as, "It's complicated".
"Hey! Meet Joe. He is my complicated boyfriend.", "Everyone, I'd like to introduce Anna. She and I are in a complicated relationship". You're either in the relationship or your not.
So, should we all change our relationship statuses to complicated, because aren't all relationships complicated?
All relationships are complicated. Relationships are two people working together as one. Two people who have differing opinions on some things. Big or small, every relationship hits some sort of complication at some point. It is the work each person puts into the relationship that makes it strong enough to withstand the complications life throws at them. "Complicated" should never be a relationship status. People are complicated, decisions, life, men, school, work, etc.. those can be complicated, but those are some times every day things.
I feel like those relationship statuses are sometimes a cry for attention, or begging for acknowledgement they aren't to blame for the troubles within the relationship. I think one party may feel as if the relationship is failing or is going to fail. I wonder if it means the one person isn't trying to fight for the relationship or that it is being posted for a wake-up call to the other. I don't know, because I don't know the reasoning behind it. Honestly, it's not my place to know and I'm ok with it. However, I don't have to agree with, "Complicated".
In my opinion, it's silly. I don't think any less of the person who posts it. I do, however, roll my eyes. I don't agree with it. That's ok.
I like peanut butter, banana and marshmallow creme sandwiches and you think it's disgusting. It's ok. I'm not going to judge you and think you are crazy. I may think it's crazy that you don't like it, but I'm not going to put our relationship in a complicated status over it.
I haven't blogged in months. I haven't felt like blogging. I haven't wanted to blog. I have had no motivation and I have had nothing pop in my head or give me inspiration for one of my typically opinionated posts. I have tried to get myself motivated, but due to an upcoming move and my insanely busy schedule, blogging hasn't been a priority. My relationship with this blog is Complicated. Finally, I have inspiration.
I'm one of those people, when I have an opinion or thought, I share it. I'm an open book when it comes to what I post on Facebook, my blog and my blog fan page. Anyone who knows me, knows this. I'm "Politically incorrect" with most of my beliefs. I'm honest, brutally. Because of this, I tend to hear the word, "judgmental" often.
For starters, what is the difference between being judgmental and opinionated?
It seems there is a thin line, HOWEVER, an opinion is a thought in general. Something you base for yourself, or don't seem to see another way on. Everyone has an opinion on something. The biggest things I see opinions on are:
Abortion
Gay Marriage
Death Penalty
Breastfeeding
etc.
Just because you're for or against these or other things, doesn't make you judgmental. You can think they are wrong and not be judging someone who does or doesn't fit into your opinion on it.
For instance, I'm against abortion and can't see how someone can take an innocent life. I know people who have done it, I'm friends with them. I don't agree with them, I have an opinion on the act, but I'm not judging them for their decision. Just one example. Big or small, everyone has an opinion.
This week I have seen multiple, "It's complicated" relationship statuses. After seeing yet another one today, I can't get clarity on why it's a relationship title. I mean, do you introduce your relationship as, "It's complicated".
"Hey! Meet Joe. He is my complicated boyfriend.", "Everyone, I'd like to introduce Anna. She and I are in a complicated relationship". You're either in the relationship or your not.
So, should we all change our relationship statuses to complicated, because aren't all relationships complicated?
All relationships are complicated. Relationships are two people working together as one. Two people who have differing opinions on some things. Big or small, every relationship hits some sort of complication at some point. It is the work each person puts into the relationship that makes it strong enough to withstand the complications life throws at them. "Complicated" should never be a relationship status. People are complicated, decisions, life, men, school, work, etc.. those can be complicated, but those are some times every day things.
I feel like those relationship statuses are sometimes a cry for attention, or begging for acknowledgement they aren't to blame for the troubles within the relationship. I think one party may feel as if the relationship is failing or is going to fail. I wonder if it means the one person isn't trying to fight for the relationship or that it is being posted for a wake-up call to the other. I don't know, because I don't know the reasoning behind it. Honestly, it's not my place to know and I'm ok with it. However, I don't have to agree with, "Complicated".
In my opinion, it's silly. I don't think any less of the person who posts it. I do, however, roll my eyes. I don't agree with it. That's ok.
I like peanut butter, banana and marshmallow creme sandwiches and you think it's disgusting. It's ok. I'm not going to judge you and think you are crazy. I may think it's crazy that you don't like it, but I'm not going to put our relationship in a complicated status over it.
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