While You're Away

I did a blog contest months ago. To enter the contest, you had to post Your top 10 songs for "While he's away".

I don't believe I ever posted mine.

Now that my husband is away, I listen to my "While you're away" playlist quite often. The songs on my playlist are songs that go with my mood. I have songs that "understand", love songs, happy songs.. etc. The songs are emotions I have felt while going through boot camp, the agony we faced during a-school, the happy moments of being together, the learning of the underways and  the emotions I expect/ expected during deployment. It's a variety, different genres- everything. All music that I love and listen to regularly.

Music is a big part of my life. "Where words fail, music speaks". Growing up- many times, I would be found in my room with oversized headphones on sketching away in my sketch diary. It relaxes me. Helps me think. So many emotions are portrayed through songs. There is always a song that knows just how you feel.

I'm going to start posting a song every week with a song from my playlist. I'm going to try and explain why it's on my playlist. It would be nice to post them as I feel I relate to them, but then there's the possibility that I don't feel some of those emotions- who knows. It's too early into the deployment to say how tomorrow, next week, next month or 5 months from now my emotions will play on me. So, I'm just going to go with it.

Tomorrow will be my first post. My goal is to post every Saturday. But I'm not committing to that day. As we all know, I don't blog on a set schedule. I just go with the flow... There may be a day in the mid week where I relate to a song in some way- Happy, sad or pissed at the world and I will post it.

I think this is another way for me to express the emotions I go through this deployment because Music is something I can relate to so well.

I hope you all enjoy.

1st post will be posted in the a.m.

My Life is like a Country Song

I was working on my Photography website, and placing print orders when I got to thinking about the lyrics to a song a friend posted. Lyrics made me smile, and most of all- they made me think of my husband.

I'm not a die-hard country fan- I know, being from Nashville, most expect that I am. I do however like country, and there are a few songs that tend to stick with me. Tend to make me think a lot.. hence the blog.

The Song "Bring It On Home" by Little Big Town now has a new meaning to me.. or maybe I just never really listened to the lyrics.

"You've got someone here who wants to make it all right. Someone that loves you more than life right here. You've got willing arms that'll hold you tight, a hand to lead you on through the night right here. I know your heart can get all tangled up inside. But don't you keep it to yourself. When your long day is over and you can barely drag your feet, the weight of the world is on your shoulders... I know what you need, bring it on home to me.

You know I know you like the back of my hand. You know I'm gonna do all that I can right here. Gonna lie with you 'til you fall asleep. When the morning comes, I'm still gonna be right here. Yes, I am. So take your worries and just drop them at the door. Baby, leave it all behind. When your long day is over and you can barely drag your feet, the weight of the world is on your shoulders... I know what you need, bring it on home to me.

Baby, let me be your safe harbor. Don't let the water come and carry you away. When your long day is over and you can barely drag your feet, the weight of the world is on your shoulders... I know what you need, bring it on home to me."

Above is some of the lyrics to the song. 
My husband may not be coming home at the end of each day. But the way he and I are looking at this deployment.. It's just one long work day.

Like the song, I will be here waiting. When his "Long Day" [deployment] is over, and he can barely drag his feet- He's going to be exhausted, there is no doubting that, I'm going to be that person he comes home to. He will have someone at home who wants to make everything alright, everything the song says.

I hear people say,  "My life is like a country song".. usually when I hear someone say that, they don't mean it in a positive way. However, This song makes me think my life IS like a country song, and in no way negative. I'm proud to relate to this song because I love my husband more than anything in the world and I will be the one he comes home to. The one who waits for him.

I do love Little Big Town, and they are amazing live. I do not know why I haven't put this song on my "While you're away" playlist. It's the perfect song for it. Needless to say, It will be very soon.

True Love Waits

It is official. Deployment has started. I wanted to post one final pre-deployment blog before deployment started and well, time got away from me.

The day of deployment, I took my husband to the pier, kissed him and said see you soon. He grabbed his bags and made way to the ship. I then met a friend at the NEX and we headed to the pier for the hour and a half of family time that was given aboard the ship.

My friend and I went our separate ways with our SOs. My husband had to work. He had to muster at 0600 and because some idiots were late muster didn't start until 0630. Muster lasted more than 30 minutes leaving less than 30 minutes with him. He walks up and says he had bad news. He had to go do some sort of training and had to go immediately. Giving us about 5 minutes to say our real "See you later". I anticipated that he wouldn't get much time with me.. So, I wasn't upset when we had to part early.

I met up with my friends to wait for the time to be kicked off the ship. Some friends shared some tears and I tried to be there to comfort them as best as I could. Goodbyes are never truly easy when you love someone when they are leaving for such a long period of time.

I was ok.
I was ready for this deployment. Ready to start the journey and conquer it.

I hadn't shed a tear. I didn't think I would have. I'm not one to cry much- it's a rare thing. That doesn't mean that leaving my husband was any easier on me, just means I deal with my emotions in a much different way and in some ways, Maybe I had prepared myself a bit more mentally. At this point, I was sure I wasn't going to cry.

Of course, sometimes, in being so sure of being prepared, you then realize that just maybe there is no real way to prepare for a deployment 100%. My husband snuck me a text. The last text I would get from my husband for several months. Simply said how much he loves me and that he misses me already.  If you know my husband, you know he's not the "Wear his heart on his sleeve" kind of guy. Two tears fell down my cheeks. All because of an unexpected last text message.

I had said my goodbye, I had mentually prepared myself- told myself, "Ok, that was that.. on to the next thing.". The text was unexpected. But my goodness, it was such an amazing feeling reading it.

Watching the ship, I wasn't sad, I wasn't upset in any way. I was Proud. I have never felt so proud in my life.

The distance from my husband, deployments.. surviving on emails. This is the life I chose. The life I chose when I said, "yes" to his marriage proposal. This is the sacrifice I make. The sacrifice I make so that my husband can do his job, to serve his country and provide for our little family.

His job is to serve his country, My job is to support him on the homefront. To wait for him. To stay true to him. To above all.. Love him.

True love waits, and I'll wait as longs as it takes.

Focus

Have you ever had those moments where you can't concentrate on one thing at a time? I'm there now.

I feel exhausted, both mentally and physically. There is so much preparing and things that have been put on me to get done. I feel in a constant state of rushing to get things accomplished and I feel like I'm running in circles.

The thought that Deployment is around the corner is very real to me, I'm not panicking or freaking out. With Deployment so close, the part of getting prepared just got a little bit heavier.

Due to my husband's schedule, I'm stuck being the one preparing for sea bag inspections. He is helping as best as possible, however I'm carrying most of the load. I have to-do lists out the Wah-zoo, I'm just trying to plan my time accordingly without getting too wore down.

We could have spent yesterday preparing things, however it being one of the few times left with him.. we decided to focus on each other and spend it having fun and enjoying each other instead of focusing on what's to come. We started out the day by getting a few things he needed with uniforms and then we enjoyed dinner out, went to an arcade (which by the way, I stomped him at some skiball), went shopping, went to the movies to watch "True Grit", then back home where we had 2 movies from redbox waiting on us. We lounged until nearly 4am watching movies. It was a wonderful day.

I did however allow myself to get frustrated. I wanted nothing more than to spend the day with my husband with no interruption. I thought I had made myself clear to everyone, but I was wrong. My phone constantly went off throughout the day and had I of not been using the navigation on my phone, I would have tossed the darn thing out the window. Later, I said screw it and turned it off anyway. We found our way home pretty easily, thankfully.

While I feel I have a complete grasp on things- I'm not  really letting things get me down, I am feeling a little anxiety with whats to come- being a little easily agitated because I want that every minute and "To hell with everyone else" kind of attitude. My main focus is my husband, my marriage, and myself. I could careless about the millions of projects going on of which are unrelated to my 3 priorities at the time being. They can wait. Yeah, I am being selfish. I see it as this is the time where I am allowed to be selfish, and I really don't care if I am.

I do sometimes feel pissed at the world, but only because sometimes people expect too much from me. At this moment in time, My focus can and will only be on my husband and myself. That is where 100% of my effort is going.

Set Up for Failure

One thing that really bothers me is being told I have set myself up for failure. During my relationship and marriage to my husband, I have been told this numerous times for reasons I consider to be pure ignorance and ridiculous.. and even extremely judgmental.

I have heard that being married is setting our relationship up for failure. I have learned that MARRIAGE has made our RELATIONSHIP stronger, and is indeed a lot different from a relationship that is not "married"- The change is not our marriage license or my rings, those are sentiments to my marriage. The difference is on a much more personal and deeper level than the TITLE I proudly carry as his wife.

I have been told that because he is military that our marriage will fail. This based on Bogus divorce statistics. I do not allow myself to conform, nor focus on statistics. They are silly and do not define the future of my marriage or anyone else's marriage unless YOU let it define your own.

The Number ONE thing that gets to me, and is the reason this post popped in my head, is hearing people bash others when they have a tattoo for their Significant other. Do I have a Tattoo for my husband? Yup. Does it have his name? Yup. Has it changed our Relationship or Marriage? Nope! I have heard so many negative things about having my husband's name on me. Do I regret it? No, ACTUALLY I want another Tattoo for him, and He wants another for me! :)

I hear people say I will regret it, we are going to end up in divorce for it, it is a curse... etc. Well, for starters. I am not superstitious and a "Tattoo" does not "Curse" someone. Which is the same as saying it is setting one up for Failure. It is rubbish.

To me, I see my tattoo as a Statement. It is saying, "I have enough faith and belief in my marriage, and I am not afraid to permanently mark my body to show it.". My tattoo is a sentiment to me. Something I don't ever want to get rid of, just like other things you may have had since you were a child. They are sentimental in value to you. My tattoo is that to ME.

Someone stating that because I have a tattoo, my marriage will fail would be like me saying to that person that their marriage will fail because they don't believe in their marriage enough to put something on them that will permanently be there to show it. Neither is true, and saying either would be ignorance.

I also hear people who say "I would never get his name, it's stupid. We do have tattoos for each other, but never a name.". This is where I ask, What is the difference? Is it not a tattoo for the other person? They are both permanent reminders of the one you got it for. The difference is, to another person, other than you and the one it is for, the tattoo doesn't look as if it was for someone. But to YOU, you still know the reason you got it. The only difference is a name. The meanings are still the same. Why did I get my husband's name? Because I want people to know who it's for, I am PROUD to have his name on my shoulder, as he is proud to have my initials on his chest.

My love for my husband will never change. The memories I have with him will always be there. No matter what... and my Tattoo will always be a reminder to me.

No regrets.

Photo was taken for my husband.

WHAT does my Tattoo symbolize to ME? Love. Commitment. Always Faithful. Til Death Do Us Part- One mate for life. Trust. Dedication. And More.

The Little Things

We are in the car on our way to spend Christmas at my husband's grandmother's house. I have avoided the internet as if it were a plague the past couple days and focused on spending time with my husband and my family. I am so glad I did. I realize, sometimes too much internet and also TV will make you miss out on a lot of things. You forget to appreciate the little things.

As most of you know, we are gearing up for deployment. That being said, this leave period is extra special to me. It is setting in that deployment is around the corner, but as of this very moment, I amd ok. I am stress free (at the moment) and I am happy. I'm appreciating the little things, and appreciating the time with my soon to be deployed husband. Every little laugh, smile... is a memory that I know I will use to get me through these next months of separation.

As I am typing this out on my phone, I am cracking up at my husband who thinks he is the new Eminem. If you read back to nearly a year ago, to FEB 14, 2010, you will see a list of 100 reasons why I love my husband.. one of the reasons is when he breaks out rapping. He's having fun, being himself and comfortable enough around me not to care how cheesey his rap is or well, how he isnt making much sense to me. It's the little things.

We are spending about 3 to 4 hours in the car together, and I know he'll tell me a cheesey joke or we will get to cracking jokes on each other. He'll make me laugh, he'll tell me he loves me and we may even talk about things we want to accomplish over the next few month or after deployment. All of this is things I need to be thankful for and what I need to focus on. I need to focus on myself, him and us.

Deployment is coming, there is no stopping it or avoiding it for any amount of time. So what do you do? Embrace the time you have left, have fun and remember the little things. Make memories to give you those moments to smile throughout the time of being apart.

Now that I have rambled.. I am going to lay my head back and join my husband, I'm about to turn into the new Nicki Minaj. ;)
(P.s. I am not a huge fas of rap, but for the thought of comedy... I'll break it down)

Merry Christmas to everyone!

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Thank You for being a Friend..

As I'm writing this, I have the theme song from Golden girls running through my head. I said I would write about things I have learned through this year of underways and the number one thing that sticks out in my head is the Friendships.. a.k.a. "Support".

Seriously, when my husband and I were talking about this post before writing it.. I belted out singing, "Thank you for being a friend. Traveled down the road and back again. Your heart is true you're a pal and a confidant..."

On to my post...

I have always considered myself a strong person.. I still do, But what is it that helps Military wives stay strong in the long times of separation? Is it staying busy? Maybe it's allowing yourself to break down behind closed doors... or is it setting out to conquer to world that makes us "Strong"?

There are so many things that One can define as what makes them "strong". Again, I think it's all part of dealing with things in our own way, what's best for us that makes any one person "Strong". Crying is not negative (unless it's excessive, then I believe that keeps your mind in a negative state of being).

For me, I have found that while I am a STRONG, INDEPENDENT woman, I still need my support system.

Undergoing the separation from my husband due to the Navy lifestyle, I have found that being strong isn't what gets you ready for a Deployment, or even through the times your apart for any reason from your Significant other. What do I believe gets you through? Your Support System.

Personally, I sought after my husband's command Family Readiness Group for a solid support group of other ladies that understand any of the emotions that come with the military life- looking for understanding. However, I realized not all FRG's are the well organized groups I have read about in several military wife books, so I sought my own support. I didn't want to go at this alone. I wanted a support group of FRIENDS.

That's what I did. Friendships were formed and I now have the best support group that one could ever ask for. My support group, friends, continues to grow. We support each other.. we all have something to offer with our knowledge, compassion, humor, honesty, selflessness, and more.

In relationships that have long separations, I believe it is mostly the people you choose to surround yourself with that makes you "Strong". It is the Support group that holds you up and keeps you from falling.

As a great lady once commented to me, "There is strength in numbers".

Am I ready for this deployment? Yes and No.. In those times that "I'm not ready", or those moments when "This is hard".. I have an amazing support group of friends to lean on, as they do me. 

"....And if you through a party, Invited everyone you ever knew, You would see the biggest gift would be from me And the card attached would say thank you for being a friend."

Operation Underway: Completed; Next Mission: Deployment

My husband's ship has been undergoing many underways since the month of April preparing for deployment. Anywhere from 2 days to 45 days at a time, the underways have been continuous, every month, sometimes more than once a month to more than a month at a time.

I did not have any times where I broke down because of him being underway. Yeah sure, I missed him while he was away.. but I never let him being gone get the best of me. I faced challenges while he was gone, but those challenges would have been thrown at me in ordinary civilian life. Any times where I felt as if I was going to "Lose it" cannot be attributed to anything with the Navy.

Did I think it was hard? Eh, Yes and no. Missing him did sometimes make the underways tough... maybe not so much missing him- but the constant adjusting and readjusting on top of his port schedule. By the time I had adjusted to him being gone, I was waiting on the pier to bring him home- and vice versa. There were several times that I hadn't completely adjusted to him being gone and he'd come home. I wouldn't be adjusted to him being home and he'd leave again. It was a constant "gotta do this, get ready for this",  over and over and over. But now, We are at the end of the strenuous training schedule and now reality is setting in. Buckle up- It's time for Deployment.

I continually compare things I have went through in the Military family lifestyle with past military adventures. I have to say, A-school still gets the prize for being the most challenging. Bootcamp was tough- many tears and really learning to adjust and be on my own again... But A-school, I will take bootcamp and another million underways before I would choose to go through the challenges my husband and I went through as a married couple.

Bootcamp, PCSing without my husband, being away from family, constant underway schedule- I will gladly go through again and again, but you can keep the A-school ;).
(p.s. I wrote a post on A-school early in my blog)

I have been told that Deployment will be easier in many ways compared to the underway schedule. During a deployment- I will actually get to fully adjust to him being gone- which by the way, I'm actually excited about adjusting to a schedule! Although, I'd much rather adjust to a schedule with him home... I'm looking forward to being able to plan things again. I know I will probably worry about a bit more during deployment.. but I know that I will not keep me from living every day life. No use worrying constantly and making yourself miserable.

I have so much planned during deployment.. I'm actually excited for my husband to leave and come home to see all I accomplish while he's away. He says he's excited to leave and come home for me to see all the muscle he is going to put on from working out- we shall see about the muscle ;).. he's got to get away from those darn 3 Musketeers! He's not a big guy.. my husband is a little guy.. well, average I'd say now. Since April, he has gained 30 pounds. While every other guy on the USS Enterprise has lost tons of weight from the horrible food- not to mention food poisoning, my husband GAINED weight.. oh yes, $100 a month in 3 Musketeers will do that to you. I really don't have anything else to say about that, just a little laugh about it... It's definitely NOT normal haha.

I plan to write a post later this week on things I have learned in general and things I have learned about myself from these underway periods. Might just to that tomorrow. We shall see ;)

So now I say: Dear Deployment, Bring it On!

Ornament Giveaway Winner!

The giveaway has ended! And we now have a winner!

Drum-roll please...

The winner is:
Samantha of Navy Doll!

P.s. The program, "the hat" is by far my favorite program EVER. It's more fair with those that do giveaways by having multiple chances to enter, it shuffles all the names, really fast I might add.. and you just hit stop and wah-lah!

Sam, You know how to reach me. So, get on it! ;)

Merry Christmas! Who wants a Christmas gift from me?

I love the Holidays! Christmas is one of my favorite times of year. I absolutely LOVE Christmas decorations, cooking, spending time with family and close friends.. not to mention, I LOVE giving gifts!

Speaking of Gifts... Who would like to win a free Ornament from CRushGFX?

Not just any Ornament, A Custom design! You can also choose a premade one if you wish.
You can choose to keep the ornament for yourself, OR give it as a gift!


Here's the ways to enter:

-Comment this blog (worth 1 entry)
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-Write a blog or a Facebook note about why you are a follower of "The Journey of a Navy Wife", link it to my blog, and comment with a link to your post (worth 5 entries! If you write a blog AND a note, you get 8 entries!)

You have a Chance to receive up to 15 entries to win!

Please leave a SEPARATE comment for each entry.





Samples of a few Premade ornaments:

P.S. Giveaway winner will be announced on Monday at Noon!