tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4085383763299362070.post2250271840114538312..comments2024-02-14T12:45:23.558-05:00Comments on The Journey of a Navy Wife: Wives VS Girlfriends... Military StyleChristinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11780680370762382386noreply@blogger.comBlogger21125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4085383763299362070.post-60137863944701241672013-06-29T16:22:19.229-04:002013-06-29T16:22:19.229-04:00Harder? I don't know, honestly. Somehow I don...Harder? I don't know, honestly. Somehow I don't think having that promise of forever, his ring on my finger, or his last name, will make me any MORE afraid of the unknown. Neither do I think those things will make the time with him away any easier. I miss him, I will miss him when he is gone. <br /><br />Having made it through trails together, that is where the respect comes in.<br /><br /> I'm sure you are not saying I should have any more respect for a woman that "Married in Vegas" after knowing each other for three months, than I would for girl who hasn't been asked yet, because he wants to do it right... and that means waiting to propose until he can get back to the states.<br /><br /> I think that might be were the disconnect is. When you are "just a girlfriend", you feel like somehow people are telling you your pain is less valid, not as real. <br /><br /> Children, well I honestly think that must be the hardest. Your own pain is one thing, but seeing pain in your child's eyes.. that takes a whole new level of strength.. and I do not think that has anything to do with the military. Allx Chttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16623308833899439484noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4085383763299362070.post-3870356281929312782011-01-06T21:41:08.918-05:002011-01-06T21:41:08.918-05:00I have been with my husband for 5 years in all, al...I have been with my husband for 5 years in all, almost 4 years of marriage, and we have a little boy. He was not in the navy or even considering it when we were dating. This is all pretty new to us. I agree very much with everything the wife who wrote the blog said... everything. I believe the same as you, about marriage being a forever thing, being a wife is more than just a title, and that its emotionally draining for both girlfriends and wives. But when you made that commitment to be with the one you love for the rest of your lives, and some have children who don't fully understand where daddy is, its really, really hard. Your love has to be very strong to be apart so much and stay fully committed to your man. I wish good luck to all of you... girlfriends & wives of sailors or military men alike! God bless you!mysailormylove07https://www.blogger.com/profile/14797127492757318320noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4085383763299362070.post-20414740268271353812010-11-18T17:33:31.236-05:002010-11-18T17:33:31.236-05:00kelsey lauren, feel free to fell offended, but you...kelsey lauren, feel free to fell offended, but you're getting worked up for no reason. I was once "JUST a girlfriend".. as are all wives. <br /><br />I also stated that both have it hard, and it's neither the wives nor the girlfriend's place to say who has it harder because different people handle things differently. <br /><br />I stand by my thoughts.Christinahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11780680370762382386noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4085383763299362070.post-40489568051030692802010-11-18T15:06:48.524-05:002010-11-18T15:06:48.524-05:00i'm a military girlfriend so i can't state...i'm a military girlfriend so i can't state which is harder. but then again, it isn't a competition. i don't see why we need to make comparisons and statements of why and who has it harder. the fact is that we are all in love with me who are owned by the government. our relationships, married or not, are controlled by his career. <br /><br />i understand as a wife you are perhaps more reliant on him since you have made the committed to share your lives together. i can see how deployments, etc would be a lot harder on wives since i imagine you are left feeling alone.<br /><br />but at the same time, girlfriends can't optimize their time when their men are home. they can't live together.<br /><br />i believe everyone in love with a military man has it hard, and each of us our own unique set of issues to deal with. i think it's unfair to belittle one or the other. <br /><br />i took offense to this post, especially when you call girls like me, "just a girlfriend."Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15181231328334735572noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4085383763299362070.post-60547296993341837982010-08-21T10:54:48.840-04:002010-08-21T10:54:48.840-04:00Ive been girlfriend, wife, and wife with kid, and ...Ive been girlfriend, wife, and wife with kid, and with kid is by far the hardest! Theres less time to reach out and form friendships/support help when you are busy with a little one and also personally it can be pretty exhausting doing it all on your own, little things like mowing the lawn become a nightmare (how does one mow the lawn with a one year old on the hip!?) Ive always needed my husband emotionally but never so much physically to help me as much with a kid.Katie Darlinghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13614458132221424425noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4085383763299362070.post-2822190690820097092010-07-30T14:44:38.516-04:002010-07-30T14:44:38.516-04:00Nicely said :) I have also been all 3 (wife, fianc...Nicely said :) I have also been all 3 (wife, fiancee, and now wife) and think that wife is the most challenging of the 3.Nataliehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14523920987729087069noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4085383763299362070.post-33350699574587125642010-07-29T09:38:41.220-04:002010-07-29T09:38:41.220-04:00When I was a gf I still had my own life. I went t...When I was a gf I still had my own life. I went to school and worked and went on dates with Spouse but we didn't live together or even in the same state, so I didn't have to deal with the reality of military life. When you marry into the military it hits you in the face. You move, leave your friends and family and it is definitely harder. When he leaves, you're alone unless you go back home. It affected me considerably more when we got married.No Model Ladyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05108699897785029512noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4085383763299362070.post-47569482627749828442010-07-28T22:56:29.435-04:002010-07-28T22:56:29.435-04:00I Love everything you said and i firmly believe ev...I Love everything you said and i firmly believe everything you said is right. As I too have had every "title" girlfriend,fiance, wife.And i will be completely honest with this, As a girlfriend i knew we could walk away from eachother at any point in time and it wouldnt matter, the day he asked me to marry him, all of that changed, my mentality changed, his as well. When we got married, we promised eachother the rest of our lives, said our vows to eachother etc etc. As a girlfriend you dont know if youll last, yes you want to..but theres no promise there. being married is a promise a commitment for eternity, in my eyes any ways. i dont believe in divorce. I also think that we do have it harder, as a gf you arent really around your man that much unless he has the weekend or a 72 or 96. as a wife, your together 24/7 well..when your not working..but your together none the less. you get attached to eachother you get used to the daily things you do with eachother. you grow more and more in love, and once they deploy all of that is gone. when our men deploy as a gf, you go home to whereever you came from, us wives, we go home to OUR home, withOUT our husbands, we go home to every single memory weve made over the years only to be alone. PROPS to the wives that are also mothers. i cannot wait to have children but dread deployments with kids. those women are heros in my eyes! but i do believe we have it harder, and as gfs you wouldnt understand it and once (IF) you become wives, youll all agree as well...once you live it, youll understand it much more. im not by any means saying gfs, fiances dont have it hard, i know it was tough being away from my man when we were only dating..ive been there. i know.. but i also know being married and him being gone is much harder..RACHEL WOODShttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16157642631501134413noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4085383763299362070.post-36609015912300879732010-07-28T21:59:47.414-04:002010-07-28T21:59:47.414-04:00As a current VERY NEW Military girlfriend turned F...As a current VERY NEW Military girlfriend turned Fiance I feel that it is definitely harder for the wife. Like you said, WIFE is permanent. You don't just have the option to 'leave' like the girlfriend does. You know. I agree with what you say completely. <br /><br />I also agree with the fact that you say WHO CARES who has it worse??! LOL. What does that matter?! Silly.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16919079134282687094noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4085383763299362070.post-73357276305454470892010-07-28T20:44:42.231-04:002010-07-28T20:44:42.231-04:00Hmmm...this is an interesting topic. I myself am ...Hmmm...this is an interesting topic. I myself am just a military girlfriend and it's hard. I miss him so much...and the fact that we are in a "trial" area of our life makes it even harder for me personally. I am here, somewhat pining for this boy who I am crazy for, hoping he meant all the words and letters he writes me...I am completely faithful and I have put all my trust into him and this relationship. We both have a good feeling about us, but only time will tell. I want to be there for him, I spend a lot of time wishing I could be closer to him and help him when he is emotionally drained...I do my best 13 hours away, but it's still hard. I know it's going to be even harder if I get the honor to be his wife one day...and I really do admire all the military wives out there, I don't think any of us really have it easy....Tiffanyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14774744698115789811noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4085383763299362070.post-39014818561508077842010-07-28T10:59:06.187-04:002010-07-28T10:59:06.187-04:00I will say that I have more respect and a heck of ...I will say that I have more respect and a heck of a lot more support now as a wife than I did when I was "just a girlfriend." <br /><br />During our first deployment (when we were bf/gf), hardly any of my friends or family inquired into how he was doing or how I was doing, but the second we got married people took things a lot more seriously. I had people—friends and family—calling, emailing, and physically coming over to my house to see how I was doing.<br /><br />I can see how it's tough from both sides...why does one side have to be harder than the other, though?Jessica Lynnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17283561653744769352noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4085383763299362070.post-39742017402834276772010-07-28T09:10:21.505-04:002010-07-28T09:10:21.505-04:00What a great post, definitely something to think a...What a great post, definitely something to think about. I think they are both difficult, but personally, I think a wife might edge out the girlfriend in this category, speaking from a wife of course :) I feel the same way you do about marriage :) There is definitely a difference, it's not just a titleLainahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10908436103293843647noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4085383763299362070.post-45151000810101097772010-07-28T05:26:01.614-04:002010-07-28T05:26:01.614-04:00The way I see it is like this, saying a wife has i...The way I see it is like this, saying a wife has it harder then a girlfriend is like saying an Army wife has it harder then a Navy wife because Army deploys much longer then any other branch of the military.<br /><br />It's a crock. It's like someone is trying to turn something into a pissing contest.<br /><br />Girlfriends have it just as difficult as a wife (of any branch). We all go through the same emotions, we all worry day in and day out about our men's safety and well being. We send care packages to our guys to give them a little morale boost and to show them that there is someone thinking about them and missing them. <br /><br />I've seen it time and time again where the FRG will let the girlfriends take part in the meetings, but the wives snub their nose because she's just the "girlfriend" - they aren't married. That really rubs me the wrong way.<br /><br />I've seen it as a soldier, and as a wife.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4085383763299362070.post-40448174857685828712010-07-28T00:17:35.522-04:002010-07-28T00:17:35.522-04:00The more I try to reach out and get different poin...The more I try to reach out and get different points of views from women involved with men in the military(wives, fiances, and girlfriends) the more I see that this can be a touchy topic. I'm not sure why. <br />I agree that we are all in it together and we should stick together. <br />But I also agree that wives have it much harder(well I added the "much")<br />We have a lot to deal with. If they should die in battle it's US who take care of their final wishes. When they are gone it's US who pay all the bills and do all of the household chores. <br />Not to mention being left to raise the kids(if you have them).<br />I do respect ANY woman who stays true to her love and stays with him through his deployments and the hard times. As long as you stand by your man you're o.k. in my book.Chelsea Pearlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10644326967146100117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4085383763299362070.post-15487025054704535452010-07-27T22:31:10.712-04:002010-07-27T22:31:10.712-04:00Being a girlfriend, I don't have the necessary...Being a girlfriend, I don't have the necessary experience to weigh in on both sides, but I can say this: the hard part about being a girlfriend is not having the military community and benefits to back you up. I don't have an FRG or health care or any financial help. <br /><br />I think gf's and wives go through the same things emotionally and within their relationships. I don't think it needs to be a contest at all. In fact, if we just all love on each other and give the other the good things we have, we can all get through this crazy, roller coaster ride together! :)Melhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06974527635031900954noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4085383763299362070.post-17707393728577646532010-07-27T22:23:16.908-04:002010-07-27T22:23:16.908-04:00I have been both the girlfriend, and the am now th...I have been both the girlfriend, and the am now the wife. I've seen a lot of this lately, and even posted about it a few days ago. There seems to be a bug going around. The debate was settled on a forum by someone stating the only difference is rings and a piece of paper. WHAT? I completely agree with you: marriage is FOREVER! He better be prepared to beat me to death in order to get out! <br /><br />I thought maybe I was the only one, but I definitely feel wives have it harder... and mothers, I don't want to think about being a mother during deployment and explaining to our children where daddy is! <br /><br />Agree: girlfrieds are the trial. I knew that as a girlfriend: he was my trial too! Luckily, we picked each other! It's different holding down the homefornt and going on a date by yourself. <br /><br />Thank you for this well spoken post! Love it.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4085383763299362070.post-1903318230518163522010-07-27T22:22:38.807-04:002010-07-27T22:22:38.807-04:00I've had all the titles... friend, girlfriend,...I've had all the titles... friend, girlfriend, fiancee, and now wife. I completely agree with you, esp. on the marriage meaning more (my views on marriage seem to be the same as yours with God).<br /><br />I've been through all the emotions, separations, etc. They are different at each level. I'm glad you posted about this.Skinnie Piggiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05908960159689040912noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4085383763299362070.post-15582860975450080502010-07-27T22:10:45.349-04:002010-07-27T22:10:45.349-04:00I believe wives and girlfriend equally have it har...I believe wives and girlfriend equally have it hard, but in my opinion girlfriend don’t get as much respect. Like you said in posting ‘wife’ means something. To most people 'girlfriend' doesn’t, People see girlfriends as expendable. What many wives forget is that they were once girlfriends. So all I ask is that they try to understand where we are coming from. No matter what our circumstances are we love men just as much as wives do.<br /><br />By now I’m sure you can tell I’m a PROUD girlfriend :-)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4085383763299362070.post-82775473425281597792010-07-27T21:47:46.393-04:002010-07-27T21:47:46.393-04:00I think that wives have to be tough. Im a second w...I think that wives have to be tough. Im a second wife and I am in my second marriage. My husband and I both understand what it feels like to have a marriage go south. We firmly believe that we had to endure alot to find each other. I am not a military wife (yet!). But I do know that wives are held to a higher standard, and I applaud you for standing by your man. Keep it up!Katenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4085383763299362070.post-89849725833250755112010-07-27T21:39:23.491-04:002010-07-27T21:39:23.491-04:00What an interesting topic! I was never a mil girl...What an interesting topic! I was never a mil girlfriend...in fact I had no clue what I was marrying into because the military didn't enter our lives until 2 years after our wedding. I think ANY association with the military is tough. Whether we're wives, girlfriends, sisters, mothers, mother-in-laws...it's just tough. It never occurred to me how difficult my husband's deployment was on both his mother and my mother until I read an article about military moms. And then I read another article written by the sister of a service member. I think the most important part is making sure that whatever our affiliation with the military is, that we seek the support we need to get through it. Great, thought-provoking post!!!Roller Coasterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15183668808628272381noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4085383763299362070.post-70646052326709645692010-07-27T21:28:41.841-04:002010-07-27T21:28:41.841-04:00To me a spouse is a spouse. I am a fiance. Who kno...To me a spouse is a spouse. I am a fiance. Who knows when we will marry. We can't find his ex who was an abusive pyscho and he went into hiding from for 5 years. If he could find her he would be divorced and we could be married. The only difference I personally see is those who live with their spouse and those who don't. Those who live with their spouse is used to having them home and deployments you have to adjust. <br /><br />However there shouldn't be a "well I have it harder mentality". We are all spouses who love and care for someone who is in the military. We all have taken the commitment to this life and we should all support one another and be there for each other. Not try to one up each other on who has it harder.Noliehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17817581193995229155noreply@blogger.com